Decision

Cloud, 22

Guilt assailed him when he woke up. The memory of his sorrow-filled conversation with Zack haunted his thoughts. He had completely forgotten about Zack's parents, who had spent six years waiting for news of their son.

They deserved to know the truth. They probably thought that Zack had ignored them for five years before being murdered by a psychopath. Correcting that assumption would not only provide his parents with a measure of comfort; it might make Zack happier, too.

'Assuming you can really see us, anyway.'

"Cloud?" He turned over and opened his eyes. Tifa was lying in bed, looking at him intently. It was fairly late in the morning, Cloud realised. It was strange for Tifa to still be in bed at this time of day.

"Is something the matter?" she asked.

"Not really."

Tifa sighed.

"You're lying. I can always tell when you're worried." Cloud shrugged.

"I was just thinking," he said vaguely.

"About what?"Tifa pressed.

He considered whether he should tell her the truth. She looked so determined to discover what was worrying him, he was pretty sure a lie wouldn't cut it at this point. He got up slowly.

"I was thinking about Zack…And his parents."

Tifa looked startled. She sat up so that she could look into his eyes.

"His parents?" she asked slowly. "Why would you-?"

"We met them, remember?" he asked bitterly. "We didn't tell them what happened, because I couldn't bear to remember and you didn't dare remind me."

"I remember," Tifa said. "But Cloud, you don't understand…"

"I understand perfectly," Cloud said. "I don't blame you for staying silent. You were put in a very difficult situation."

"Then why are you so upset?" Tifa asked.

"Because I should have contacted them sooner. I let myself forget, again."

"Don't be ridiculous," Tifa scolded. "Between Meteor, the rebuilding and everything else that's happened, it's not surprising that one family you barely know slipped your mind."

"That's not good enough," Cloud said angrily. "Zack died to save me. No, it's more than that, even. I owe him so much. The least I could do was take a message to his parents." This conversation was rapidly spiralling out of control. He hadn't meant to get so emotional. If they went on for much longer, he might end up revealing things that he never meant to tell her.

He struggled to get his feelings back under control as Tifa thought of what to say.

"If it's bothering you so badly why don't you send them a letter, or call them, or send a messenger?" asked Tifa.

Cloud laughed bitterly.

"It's not that simple," he said. "And I'm not going send Zack's parents a letter." Tifa looked confused for a second, before she realised what he meant.

"Don't you dare," she said. "You've only just recovered, you can't seriously be thinking of leaving?

"It will be a long time before I have a chance like this again," Cloud said. 'It's almost like Zack want me to do this,' he added in his head. 'Maybe that dream had been meant as a message?'

"I don't care," said Tifa. "You think that talking to his parents would change anything? You'll still be caught up in the past, thinking everything is your fault for no good reason! You're just as bad as Vincent, determined to atone for sins you never committed in the first place!"

"I'm not trying to atone," Cloud contradicted her. "I'm trying to do a favour for an old friend."

"He's dead!" Tifa snapped in frustration. "And no matter how much you might wish it, you can't bring him back!"

"I know," he said harshly. "You think I don't know that?"

"Stay here," Tifa begged. "Don't do this to yourself, or to us." He looked into her eyes, seeing the despair in their mahogany depths.

"I'm sorry."

He left her there, packing a few items in a bag. He wasn't quite sure how he was going to get to the other side of the world, let alone all the way to Gongaga, but he was determined to do it. He would start at the WRO headquarters, but if that didn't work…Well, he'd figure out the details later.

He went to walk out of the house but he was stopped by a wide eyed Marlene.

"Cloud! You're back!" Cloud sighed.

"Only for a little bit," he explained. "I needed a rest, but now I have to go again."

Marlene frowned.

"Why?" she asked. "I want to play." Her beseeching eyes looked up at him. In that moment, he wanted to stay, to help her feel loved and welcome.

But he couldn't. In his heart, he had made a promise to the man he had loved. The one person he admired before all others. There was no way he could back down now.

"There's something important I have to do," said Cloud seriously.

"There's always something important for you to do," said Denzel, coming down the stairs. "Aren't we important, too?"

"Of course you are," said Cloud instantly. "I just- this is something I have to do. It's like an obligation."

Denzel looked away, still upset.

"But Tifa said you could stay," Marlene said sadly.

"I know. I'm sorry. We can play later, right?" Marlene pouted and turned away.

"Everyone always says that," he heard her mutter angrily.

"Good luck with whatever you have to do," Denzel said flatly, watching Cloud with guarded eyes.

"Thanks," said Cloud as he turned away. He wanted to apologise again but it would have been meaningless. How many times had he apologised already? Saying 'sorry' didn't mean much. To show you were truly sorry, you had to change, something which he seemed incapable of.

He couldn't stop now. Part of him wanted to – oh, how he wanted to turn around and forget his wild plan – but he couldn't let himself.

'If it was the other way round, I know Zack would do this for me. He was that kind of person,' Cloud thought.

That was one reason, but there was another, more pressing reason. It had less to do with logical thought and more to do with his emotions. Hearing Zack in pain was painful for him too. He wanted to do something to alleviate his sorrow.

When he arrived at the WRO the building was a hive of activity. Surprisingly, Reeve was waiting out in the entrance. When he caught sight of Cloud he rushed towards him, his eyes filled with concern.

"Did you hear?" Reeve asked. "I didn't mean for you to hear, but I suppose it's not impossible that someone could have told you…"

"Told me what?" asked Cloud slowly.

Reeve shifted awkwardly.

"I see that you weren't told. I suppose you won't accept it if I tell you it's not your problem?" Cloud shook his head.
"Just tell me."

"I'm afraid agent Powell suffered a nervous breakdown upon arrival from his latest mission. He's been placed in isolation for now." Cloud looked at Reeve in shook. He couldn't help but remembering Zack holding him in his apartment as he sobbed desperately.

"Alexis?" Cloud asked weakly. "Was it bad?"

"It wasn't good," Reeve said. "He had an…episode….last night. He punched his sister in the face. Judging from his screams he believed he was back in Wutai." Back in Wutai…back where Cloud had incinerated a whole unit before his eyes in desperation. Back where Cloud had ignored him for a whole day afterwards, too consumed in his own issues.

"Can I see him?" Cloud asked.

"It's probably best you don't, for the moment," Reeve said. "Please, don't blame yourself for this. The situation was extraordinarily difficult for all of you. Sometimes incidents like these are to be expected."

"I guess so," Cloud said, even though he didn't believe it. He knew at the time that he had messed up. He knew that Alexis wasn't okay back in the plane. He had even been planning on pulling the boy aside and talking to him for a few moments when they got back, but by then it probably would have been too late anyway.

"If you hadn't heard, what are you doing here?" asked Reeve curiously. "Is there something you needed?"

"I wanted to ask you for a favour," Cloud said.

"If it's in my power to grant you, I'll do it, you know that."

"I want to get to the Western Continent," Cloud said. Reeve frowned.

"Where exactly do you want to go, how many people are you planning on taking and how long do you want to stay?" Reeve asked blandly.

"It sounds like you get asked this kind of thing a lot," Cloud said, feeling kind of sheepish.

"All the time," Reeve admitted exasperatedly. "Fortunately the tec department assures me that they will have transport up and running within the next month. I'm not sure how much more of this I can take."

The honest confession made Cloud feel momentarily guilty, but he pressed on.

"I want to go to Gongaga," he started. Reeve looked puzzled, but he left Cloud continue. "By myself. I only need to be there for a couple of hours, at the most."

"So, let me get this straight; you want me to organise transport to the other side of the world so that you can go to a tiny village in the middle of nowhere for a few hours?"

"More or less," Cloud said, refusing to elaborate.

"I assume you have a good reason for this," Reeve said.

"Yes."

The CEO of the World Restoration Organisation stared at his best employee for a long time. Finally he shrugged.

"If that's what you need…I'll arrange transport for this afternoon."

"This afternoon?" he repeated, incredulous. He had expected Reeve to refuse him outright.

"Would you like me to do it sooner?"

"No, that's fine."

"Be at the landing pad around two o'clock. Please, try not to be late," Reeve said, turning away from Cloud. When Cloud went to agree, Reeve was already out of hearing range.

'Clearly he's busy. I'm surprised he agreed to my request at all.'

On the spur of the moment, he decided to send a message to Tifa. Leaving this afternoon, will be back very soon was all that it said. He had no idea what she'd make of it, but at least it would give her something to tell the kids.

He went for a quick walk, grabbing lunch from one of the takeaway stores nearby. Now that he knew he was actually going to be seeing Zack's parents, soon, the reality of the situation caught up with him. He began to walk quicker, his fists tightly clenched.

'What will I say? How much should I tell them?' Doubts plagued him as he waited.

Finally he returned to headquarters. A helicopter was waiting for him when he arrived, a young pilot standing nearby. The pilot gawked at Cloud.

"Wow…Reeve told me I'd be escorting someone important, but he didn't say it would be you," the pilot said excitedly. "My name's Addison Bryant, sir."

"That's nice," said Cloud awkwardly.

Addison smiled broadly.

"This is the helicopter's first time out. It's a trial model, you see. So this is a really big occasion!"

"I guess so."

"It's awesome, right. Here, I'll get everything unlocked. You'll be up the front with me, so we'll have lots of opportunity to talk."

'Oh joy,' he thought to himself sarcastically. He climbed into the passenger seat.

"We're going to stop off at Costa de Sol tonight," said Addison as he began getting the helicopter ready. "Then we'll leave the next morning and get to Gongaga around lunch time."

Cloud let out a tense breath. Addison began to talk excitedly, apparently unaware of Cloud's mental distress.

"I wish we could stay at the beach for longer. I've never been the beach. I've never really been many places, which is why I wanted to be a pilot so badly. I guess you've been heaps of places, right? Saving the world and all."

"Yes," said Cloud flatly.

"That's so cool... I wish I could do something worthwhile. That is why I joined the WRO. Though I suppose flying planes isn't as important as saving the world." Cloud remained silent. Addison began to dejectedly focus on steering.

"We're going to have to stay in the apartments for tonight. Reeve got it all sorted for us. Apparently we can just go to the inn when we're ready and we'll get food and accommodation for the night," Addison said as they descended.

"Sounds good. I've stayed there before. The food's not great, but the beds are nice." 'Nicer then sleeping out in the open, or on a ship, anyway,' Cloud thought drolly.

Addison took this as an invitation to resume their discussion.

"You had to come here?" he asked incredulously.

"It's the only way to get from the West to the East," Cloud explained. "So we came here a few times."

"Of course," said Addison. "I should have remembered that. Did you ever go for a swim? I guess you were too busy…"

"We did, once. Well, not me personally. But everyone wanted to take a break and things weren't as urgent then, so we stopped for a day."

They set the helicopter down. Addison gave the assistants some nervous instructions before he set off with Cloud to the inn.

"I guess even heroes need holidays," Addison said thoughtfully. "It must have been strange, being on the run in a place like this."

"No stranger then everything else," Cloud couldn't help but say.

Talking about his past adventures with Avalanche brought back memories, some welcome and others less so. He could almost picture Aeris, sitting on the beach, an innocent smile lighting up her face. Cloud had chaffed at the delay, but now he could remember the joy that short stop had brought, he understood why it was necessary.

Cloud was jolted out of his thoughts when he arrived at the inn. It was fairly busy, a good sign that things were finally beginning to look up for the economy. When they arrived at the counter he tersely requested to have dinner brought up to the room Reeve had booked for him. This request was accept instantly and they were taken up to their rooms without anyone even asking to verify their identities. Clearly saving the world had some advantages.

Their dinner was eaten in silence. Cloud was too wrapped up in his nervous imaginings and Addison appeared to have finally exhausted himself. It was all the poor boy could do to say 'goodnight' after dinner before he flopped on to bed and fell asleep.

Cloud also retired to bed, but his thought process was too convoluted to allow him to rest easily. This place was full of memories and then there was his final destination to think about, too. Part of him dreaded facing Zack. The SOLDIER would almost certain want some kind of explanation for his actions, but Cloud honestly couldn't think of one. Things which seemed natural to him sounded bizarre when he tried to justify them.

He spent the first half of the night tossing and turning, various scenarios playing through his mind. It was well past midnight when exhaustion finally overpowered him, pulling him into a restless sleep.

He was kneeling in the church, flowers laid on in front him. The sunlight filtered down from far above, much brighter then he would have expected. The scent of flowers smelt exactly like her. The flower girl of the slums.

There were soft footsteps behind him. Too soft, he thought.

'Could it be…?' He kept silent and stayed looking straight ahead.

"Hello again, Cloud," said a soft, feminine voice.

"Hello Aeris," Cloud replied, smiling despite himself.

"Surprised?" she asked cheerfully.

"A little," he admitted. "But, I've wanted to talk to you, too."

"Even if I'm not Zack?" she asked, her tone still light.

"You know, then?" Cloud asked.

"I know everything," she replied firmly. "And no, before you asked, I'm not upset. It was me who showed Zack how to return your memories. I couldn't stand to see him so miserable."

"Because you love him," Cloud finished remorsefully.

Aeris was quiet for a moment, then she came over and placed her hands on his shoulders.

"And because I love you, too," Aeris said gently. "Both of you are wonderful people." That statement only made him feel more guilty. She was a far more accepting then he would have been in her situation, he was sure.

"We're all trying to do what's right," she continued. "In the end, that's all anyone can do."

"I think you're a lot better at doing what's right then I am," Cloud commented bitterly.

"And you don't give yourself enough credit," Aeris replied.

They remained in companionable silence for a few moments. This was probably the most peaceful he had felt in ages. Then again, it seemed as if the flower girl had a talent for calming the people around her. Even now, the church still contained a lingering scene of peace, as if Aeris's spirit still haunted that place.

'Perhaps it does,' he thought.

"Goodbye," Aeris whispered.

"Are you going?" asked Cloud despondently.

"No. You are."

There was a flash of pure white light. He shielded his eyes as everything faded away and disappeared into nothingness.

"Thank you, Aeris."

Cloud, 16

Cloud woke up feeling irritable. The base at Junon was uncomfortable, messy and generally disorganised. He was sharing a room again, with a group of idiot adolescent boys. They were ever younger then he was and possibly some of the most annoying people had ever met.

He could have tolerated the less-than-ideal conditions if they had been doing something worthwhile. Instead, they were practicing for a stupid parade marking Shinra's anniversary. He'd heard that there'd been a minor security breach a week back, but nothing had happened on his watch.

Overall, there was absolutely no reason for him to be there, rather than at Midgar. Shinra could have pulled out his name out of hat, for all it mattered. He participated in all the drills listlessly, practicing what Zack taught him whenever he had a spare moment

Cloud stirred restless and began to get ready. Thinking of Zack reminded him of just how much he missed the SOLDIER. The daily messages he received may have assuaged some of his worry, but they didn't make up for his continued absence.

Cloud shook his head and left his dorm room. It was time for yet another practice and it would do him no good at all to be thinking about Zack. After all, there was only one more week until they would be reunited. That wasn't too long...

"Still...If you're not waiting at the doors I might literally go crazy,' Cloud thought wryly. "That might hurt my chances of making SOLDIER a bit." He walked up into his designated 'practice zone', waiting for the other thirty-odd people who had been assigned to his group to turn up.

The practices were all very efficient and very Shinra. The infantrymen were grouped in random groups, who practiced the basic drills together with a random group leader. Once a week, they were organised into the full parade and then marched through the streets of Junon. It must have terribly disruptive to the citizens lives, but Shinra wasn't going to stop just because a few citizens were inconvenienced. That wasn't their style.

Cloud waited for the rest of his group to arrive, unsurprised that they were late. Most of them weren't even finished their initial training and they were still arrogantly sure they would all make SOLDIER. When he was annoyed with them, Cloud had been tempted to tell them exactly what the rates of SOLDIER entry were, but he decided not to. They'd think he was being bitter because he hadn't made it to SOLDIER.

Finally the late comers all arrived, looking ruffled.

'They resembled the teenagers on the street more than members of the army,' Cloud thought. 'Surely if Shinra wanted to have a formal parade, they could have gotten people who presented themselves a bit better...'

His temporary superior seemed annoyed at the delay. He was really dedicated to the 'Upkeep of Shinra's Reputation', often declaring they had a special duty to 'Protect the Interests of the Company'. Frankly, Cloud didn't really care about the company all that much. Shinra employed the SOLDIERs, so Cloud had wanted to work there, as simple as that. As for anything else they did, it really wasn't his concern.

Still, he memorised his actions and did what he was told, unlike the others. They called him all sorts of names when they thought he wasn't listening, but it didn't matter to him. He just wanted to get through this as painlessly as possible. If they meant obeying the orders of a pedantic sycophant, then that was what he would do.

By the time he had finished it was well past lunch - they were supposed to get off at twelve, but they had been kept back to get their finishing move 'just right' - and Cloud was entirely fed up with the whole process. Apparently some 'special guests' were arriving to supervise their last practice, but Cloud highly doubted that said guests would give a damn whether their timing was exact or not.

As he was walking to the cafeteria he could swear he felt eyes on the back of his head. The sensation was creepy and he couldn't see anyone who was obviously following. Though, in the crush of people in the halls, it would be incredibly difficult to identify anyone tailing him.

He decided to go somewhere less crowded. If went to a place where he was obviously on his own, it might get his supposed stalker to act and if he was just being paranoid, he could confirm that he wasn't being followed. Hopefully, if there was someone following him they would leave him alone.

When he arrived at a deserted corridor his suspicions were confirmed. He heard footsteps behind him, keeping pace with his own. So whoever was following him wasn't trying to catch up to him and they weren't trying to keep their presence secret. Were they stupid, or just confident?

'Maybe it's just one of the guys, trying to be funny,' Cloud thought. 'I mean, an enemy wouldn't try and grab me personally. So I guess I'll just wait for them to show themselves...' Cloud deliberately slowed down, waiting for his shadow to catch up.

The footsteps increased in volume. Even though he was expecting it, the feel of someone's hand on his shoulder still made him jump.

'It's going to be okay...Whether it is an enemy or just one of those idiot boys, I just need to stay calm. They won't be expecting that.'

"Heh. I didn't think it would be this easy, getting you by yourself," said a familiar voice. Cloud turned around, reeling in shock.

"Zack?" he asked, when he could finally talk. "W-what are you doing here?" The SOLDIER smiled, his grey eyes alight with mischief.

"It was easy enough. Turns out, Shinra wanted a couple of high profile SOLDIERs to commemorate their anniversary. I happened to overhear Sephie grumbling about having to go, so I offered to switch. I don't think the organisers were too happy about that, but I am a first Class, even if I'm not famous, so they couldn't carry on too much."

Cloud smiled at him, still unable to believe that he had pulled this off.

"I see..How generous of you," Cloud teased.

"Sephiroth's been so lenient with me, I felt obligated to help him," Zack said with a roguish smile. "It just so happened that you happened to be here, too. A total coincidence."

"A happy coincidence, however," Zack continued when it was obvious Cloud wasn't going to say anything. "Because I get to see my Chocobo-head a whole week earlier than I expected."

It was cheesy line, but it still made Cloud smile slightly. Zack kissed him then, with desperation and longing born of their separation. It was only when Zack let him go that he realised the danger. He looked around, relieved to see that no one was around.

Zack had apparently been oblivious to his momentary concern.

"I got you lunch and everything," he continued, holding up a small brown bag that Cloud hadn't even noticed. "I figured you'd been hungry."

The thought of food made his mouth water. He managed to restrain himself from snatching the bag with difficulty.

"Thank you," he said politely before revealing the sandwich that Zack had bought. He tore into it enthusiastically.

"A bit better?" Zack asked. Cloud nodded. He looked down at his watch.

"I have to go," Cloud said reluctantly. "I have guard duty, two until seven."

"Shame...Maybe when you're done we can have a late night training session?" Cloud went bright red, imaging what said 'training session' might entail. Zack looked at him and smirked.

"I meant combat training, you know," Zack said. "But..."

"Alright," said Cloud quickly. "I guess we could."

"I'll meet you at the cafeteria around seven-fifteen," Zack said.

"See you then," said Cloud, leaving the room. He rushed off to his shift, arriving just on time. He was guarding the elevator on the bottom floor, making sure only Shinra approved officials got in.

He didn't like it down in the main part of Junon. Up in the Shinra base it was clean and everyone seemed friendly. Here, the citizens glared at him as he tried to do his job. Most of them had a poverty stricken look about them, something which Cloud found strange as Junon was considered the 'portal to the Western Continent'. He would have expected the city to receive more traffic and therefore flourish.

'Regardless, it's not like I've done anything to harm them, so they could quit looking at me like I'm evil,' Cloud thought as he waited for his shift finish. Not a single person even approached the elevator during the entire five hours he was on watch. It was rather disheartening.

He went back up to base, heading towards the cafeteria. Zack was waiting for him, as promised. If Cloud didn't know any better he'd think that SOLDIERs were allowed to laze about all day.

"Hey!" Zack yelled eagerly, earning some annoyed glances from the people around him. "You want to grab a bite to eat?"

"Sure," said Cloud when he was a little bit closer. Zack put his arm around the boy in an affectionate embrace.

'Everyone's staring...I hope they don't think this is too weird,' Cloud thought, but he wasn't overly worried. Zack was well known for being overly affectionate and their friendship was old news at Shinra by now.

They ate dinner quickly, managing to get their food quicker because of Zack's rank.

"SOLDIERs are all spoilt," Cloud had said under his breath. Zack laughed.

"Don't complain. That'll be you pretty soon, for sure," Zack had said, giving him a reassuring pat. Cloud smiled, caught up in Zack's unwavering optimism.

As soon as they were done, Zack dragged him to one of the base's small training room. It was not nearly as nice as the one at Midgar, but it was a large, mostly empty space with soft floors, which was all they really needed.

"Alright, I'm going to test whether you've been doing the exercises I've left you. Then after that, we're moving on to sword work." The SOLDIER smiled widely, practically bouncing on the spot. Cloud nodded silently and readied himself. He was determined to prove that he had gotten stronger.

From the first strike, Cloud felt the difference in himself. He felt more confident in his ability to strike, more able to block and defend.

'But it's not enough,' he thought ruefully. 'Every time I get better, Zack just fights harder.'

"You have been training," Zack said, snapping him out of his brief musing. "But, you'll need to do better than that to make SOLDIER." Cloud scowled, focusing hard on moving faster. He was going to prove himself, no matter what.

"Alright, that's enough," Zack said finally. Cloud stopped, gasping for breath. His arms ached all over, a sign that he would probably bruise in the morning. It certainly wouldn't have been the first time.

Zack retrieved some practice swords from the wall.

"We'll just go over the basics today. I don't want you to be too tired. You wouldn't want to mess up the parade and stain Shinra's honour forever."

"O-okay," said Cloud, still struggling for breath.

Zack had Cloud practice the very basics, going back to his early days as a cadet. Mostly he was still fairly confident with the basic forms, though Zack was constantly correcting for his size and weight, something which his early trainers had never bothered with.

"Angeal taught me all the different fighting styles that are common amongst SOLDIERs. At the time, I thought it was a total waste of time, but it's coming in pretty handy now, right?" There was still a tinge of bitterness in his voice when he talked about his mentor, but it was much less noticeable now then it had been a few weeks prior.

'Hopefully that means he's healing,' Cloud thought.

After they were done moving through the basic form, Zack had him block a few strikes. Every strike that Zack sent him was careful and perfectly controlled. When he was in action, he was truly apart from ordinary men.

By comparison, Cloud felt clumsy and powerless. Even this little exercise was difficult for him to complete. When Zack finished with a friendly, 'Not bad' Cloud felt he couldn't be more wrong.

Cloud didn't say anything, he just put his practice sword away.

"You'll be taking on Sephiroth in no time," Zack said cheerfully.

"I highly doubt that," Cloud said cynically.

"Alright, how about 'you'll be SOLDIER in no time'?"

Cloud just shook his head and went to leave.

"Wait." Cloud turned around. Zack was standing behind him, a look of concern in his eyes. "What?" asked Cloud irritably.

"You're doing fine," Zack said firmly. "Better than I expected."

Those words finally broke through the haze of discouragement.

"Thank you," Cloud replied. "I'm really glad that you're here," he added softly.

"I wouldn't miss this for the world," Zack assured him.

They stood for a moment, just looking at one another. The look in Zack's eyes took his breath away, rendering him mute. He thought that Zack was going to kiss him for a moment, but the SOLDIER turned away instead.

"I should see you tomorrow, at practice," Zack said as he left the room.

Cloud clenched his fists, resisting the temptation to walk after Zack. How he longed to break down all the barriers they had put in place to keep their secret. To pretend for just a moment that there was no consequences.

Cloud headed the opposite direction, back to his room. It was the responsible thing to do, he told himself later when he was lying in bed, trying to sleep. Even if it did hurt.

Author's Note : I must admit, Aeris's presence was a very last minute decision. As for the whole "loving the both of them" this can be interpreted a couple of different ways and I'm happy for readers to make up their own minds as to exactly how she feels. Either way, she still waited the five years for Zack to get back, just like cannon. The reason for this will be explained shortly.

Also, for fans of Cloud/Tifa, this is not meant to be the end of their relationship. Instead, I'm trying to set up the same situation they showed in Advent Children - while there's something between them, Cloud's carrying too much emotional baggage for them to have a healthy relationship. That's my interpretation, anyway.