Coursing through My Veins Like Fire
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, they are the property of Kerman and Netflix productions.
Chapter 6: I Feel It When My Heart Beats
One of the conditions for not being sent to maximum security after the ass whooping Piper delivered to Doggett, was to attend mandatory anger management sessions with her counselor three times a week. Tiffany's team of lawyers managed to get her sessions with the Chaplain, though Piper's certain the Chaplain got the raw end of that deal.
Piper's just finishing her first session on Monday with Caputo and is on her way to one of the private visiting rooms to meet her new lawyer for the first time. CO Price stands guard outside the door and pats Piper down roughly before letting her enter the small, windowless room. A tall black woman greets her with a professional smile, introduces herself as Reese Porter and motions for Piper to take the chair across the table from hers.
"I'll just dive right in," Reese informs her client, opening several files and spreading notes onto the table. "I've spoken to your parents and reviewed your case, Ms. Chapman and while the assault charges are very serious, I believe I've found a way to prevent the court from adding more time to your sentence."
Piper blinks, speechless.
"You're surprised," the attorney chuckles, "while you were in solitaire, I subpoenaed all of the security footage from the night of the incident. Interviewed your cellmates who spoke of the confrontation with Ms. Doggett in the showers but the clincher was your recorded conversation with your ex-fiancé a Mr. Lawrence Bloom. You explicitly informed him that you were being harassed and that you feared for your life. The prison listens to all outgoing phone conversations and the guard on duty" she flips through more stacks of papers to retrieve a name, "former CO Sam Healey, knew you to be in danger and did not report it to his immediate supervisor. This level of neglect put your life in danger and as a result, will be the catalyst to push for time served when we present our case before a judge."
Piper sits with her mouth hanging open, once again unable to form a single word.
"Congratulations Ms. Chapman, you very well may have dodged a bullet."
They go over a few more items and before the fog completely clears, Piper is shaking Reese's hand and walking back to her cube to rest before her shift in the kitchen. Walking through the doors into Spanish Harlem, she spots a shock of shiny orange hair to her right. They're kind of friends now, since the talk where Jess divulged most of Alex's well kept secrets, she and the red head have been getting along much better. Jess has even tried to get her closer to Alex but the older raven haired woman continues to keep Piper at arms length.
She waves to Jess on her way back to her bunk and plops her tired bones down onto the uncomfortable mattress. The cell block is quiet this time of day, with most inmates still at work and soon Piper's mind begins to reboot from her earlier shock. There's this nagging thought in the back of her brain that she's met Reese before. Her lawyer looked very familiar but Piper can't recall in what context she knows the woman.
Reese proved herself to be every bit as crafty as her mother claimed, so maybe Piper has seen her on tv, a correspondent on Court TV maybe? Her lawyer's image dances before her eyes just as they shut and she drifts off to sleep. Piper sees herself standing at a bar with a younger Alex flirting with her. Young Alex with her dark hair coiffed to perfection, lures Piper to her rowdy table of friends. Alex gives a brief introduction then dismisses the bunch with a promise of fun the next night and her friends quickly leave her to it. The last person to rise from the table is a pretty black woman no older than 25. She's the only one who looks Piper in the eye as she says goodnight and Alex gives the girl a grateful nod and tosses out 'night Re', before turning all of her attention to Piper.
Piper's eyes fly open, she sits up on her cot, breathing deeply as the memory slowly begins to fade. "Reese Porter" Piper mutters out loud, "Alex!".
Alex has been ducking the blonde's advances for the past two weeks. If Piper comes to drop off her laundry, Alex is polite but she doesn't linger in conversation and always makes sure that another inmate is close by so they can't speak privately. Piper's cornered Alex in the library a few times but the raven haired woman is proving to be a damn good escape artist and quickly maneuvers her way out of these uncomfortable situations. Jess has been a huge help, along with their ragtag team of friends who have grown tired of all the drama they're producing. Movie Night seems to be the perfect time to initiate another strike and Montgomery plans to bring her A game.
"The hell are you doing?" Alex questions her sister who is twisting in her seat trying to get comfortable.
"There's a bit of a draft here, hey Chapman," Jess calls over her shoulder to the other woman, "you're wearing a sweatshirt. Mind switching seats with me?"
Alex's eyes widen when she sees the blond trying not to seem too eager as she hops out of her chair.
"If you're cold Jess we can move." Alex begins to rise but a firm hand placed on her shoulder pushes her back into her chair.
"Nah it's alright Lex, you can stay. It'll be easier to move one person rather than looking for two seats together."
Alex narrows her eyes at her devious sister's smug smirk when Piper gingerly takes her vacated seat.
"Oh and I forgot my headphones, you don't mind if I borrow yours right Lex?" Jess doesn't give Alex time to answer before swiping the earbuds from Alex's loose grasp, "I'm sure Chapman wouldn't mind sharing."
Leaving a timid Piper and a sputtering Alex in her wake, Jess takes the empty seat between Sister Ingal and Yoga Jones.
"Very nicely done, dear." Sister Ingal pats Jess on the knee, chuckling at the flummoxed couple in the row ahead.
Alex shakes her head in disbelief of her sister's unsubtle tactics. She mutters "meddling little shit", and takes the proffered earbud from Piper's outstretched hand with a quiet 'thanks.'
"I remember the first time we saw this movie together," Piper breaks the strained silence, "we were in Miami and there was this big rain storm that washed out our plans to hang out on the beach all day. Instead we piled a bunch of blankets on the living room floor and watched old movies on AMC for hours."
"You were surprised that 'Funny Face' is my favorite Audrey Hepburn movie. Although I gotta admit that it barely surpasses 'Wait Until Dark'." Alex smiles at the memory of snuggling Piper close to her while singing softly in her ear. "Yeah, that was one of my favorite vacations."
Piper suddenly bursts into a peal of giggles, Alex groans instantly knowing what she's laughing about.
"You...you even knew the whole beatnik interpretive dance Jo did in that club!" Piper laughs harder at the blush creeping across Alex's cheeks. "It was too cute."
Alex joins in her uncontrollable laughter, mesmerized by the light shining in Piper's blue eyes. That was one of her most treasured memories of their former relationship. She'd never felt so comfortable with a lover to act like a total goof and not care about maintaining her cool rep.
Stuck in that suite for two days while torrential rain pounded against the patio glass doors, Alex came to the startling conclusion that she was unmistakably in love with Piper Chapman. That same untamable feeling is currently churning in her stomach.
They quiet down with the rest of the crowd as the lights dim and 'S Wonderful' , begins to echo through their shared earbuds. Piper's hands are slightly sweaty from her tight grip on the chair to keep herself from reaching for Alex's hand, causing her to fidget but Alex solves the problem for her.
"Sit still, kid." Alex admonishes mildly, "I forgot how squirmy you get during a movie." She places her right hand over Piper's left, prying her fingers away from the edge of the chair and holds Piper's hand snugly in her lap, all without taking her eyes off the screen.
Piper smiles to herself, giddy like a teen who just got to first base for the first time and joins in as Alex whisper sings along with Jo to 'How Long Has This Been Going On.'
A row behind them, Nicky gives Jess an over the shoulder high-five.
After the movie, Alex walks Piper back to her dorm. She gracefully leans her tall frame against the wall, grinning down at Piper who's back to nervously fidgeting.
"Good night, Pipes." She runs her hand down her former lover's arm, fingers clinching Piper's in a firm grip and then releasing as she turns to walk away.
"Alex," Piper haltingly calls out, ducking past the nosy women shuffling through the hallway, "can we...we need to talk." She finishes with a decisive nod. "There's a lot of things that I've been uncovering over the past two weeks, about you and how it all relates to me. I just...I want to understand, because it feels like I don't know you anymore and I don't know what to do with that."
Piper feels a twinge of guilt at the hurt look that momentarily crosses Alex's face but the brunette quickly masks her emotions.
"Yeah, I um, tomorrow after I finish up in the laundry, that's assuming the Mensa members I work with don't fuck anything up. We can talk."
"Okay, then. Good night, Alex."
"I fight for you," Alex's voice pulls Piper back. "Through all of my bullshit and our disconnects, it's the one thing that remains true. I'll always fight for you Piper."
True to her word, Alex meets Piper out by the track after work the next day. Piper inclines her head towards the dirt path and they leisurely begin to walk.
"How's your Anger Management sessions going?" Alex asks "Do they make you hit pillows to work out your aggression and try to guess which inkblot reminds you of unicorns frolicking in a meadow?"
"No," Piper snorts in amusement, "it's mostly a lot of unraveling of my tightly wound anxiety over what my real feelings are versus what I think I should be feeling because its more socially acceptable. I've started a journal as a tool for capturing my emotions."
"Sounds like you're making strides. You know, if only there was some phrase that could adequately encompass everything you've described, something like White Anglo Saxon Protestant."
Piper chuckles, bumping Alex's shoulder and calls her a jerk.
"So, I know that Jess told you about my life before Litchfield," Alex kicks off the conversation "but what have your other sources revealed?"
"How did you know that I spoke with Montgomery?" Piper suddenly worries that Alex will be angry about her sifting through her past.
"Please, I knew that Jess blabbed the second she sat down for dinner that night. Kid's got about a dozen tells, I love playing poker with her." She jokes to let Piper know it's okay. This conversation is long overdue.
"Look Piper, I wanted to tell you that you were right to leave me." She holds up a hand to cut off Piper's protest, "As devastating as your timing was, and it really, really fucking sucked, still it was the right move. I never really got that working for the cartel meant my life was not my own. And the higher I rose through the ranks the worst it got. There are only two ways you get out of the business and I'm currently serving my escape clause. I knowingly put you in danger so many times and I hate myself for it. I'm sorry Piper."
"I...thank you." Piper is taken aback by the confession. "All I wanted was for you to acknowledge that my fear was genuine. There were so many nights I'd lie awake hoping you were okay and would come home safely to me, Alex."
"I was too caught up in the thrill of it all to see what the collateral damage was," Alex sighs and looks off into the distance "towards the end everyone was scrambling to cover their own asses that they didn't notice I'd been MIA for a while."
"Is that when you started the charity work. Montgomery said you helped set up clinics and read to sick children." And screwed your way through entire villages, is left unsaid but Piper knows that Alex is aware of her overactive sex life.
"Yeah, I traveled with Jess and her mentor Nathan, not so much after Quinn moved in with me. She was only sixteen and needed stability, so I cut down on being away for months on end."
"Tell me about your family, Montgomery said you found a brother and three other sisters?"
The tension instantaneously eases from Alex's body and she smiles at Piper before beginning.
"You've met Jess obviously, she found me actually. It was about a month after my mom's funeral, I stayed in town trying to figure out what to do with her house and car and stuff. My aunt tried to help me settle her affairs and pack but every time I'd see an old picture I would just break down. That's when I started using," Piper cringes, she'd hoped this would be a happy topic, "I dipped into my supply one day just to take the edge off and didn't stop until a month later when this strange girl, mysteriously appeared in my mom's house. I don't know how long I was passed out but when I woke up I was being dragged into the bathroom and had the icy cold shower turned on me. "
Piper gasps, literally feeling like someone kicked her in the stomach. Jess saved Alex's life, now she really feels like an asshole for being rude to Montgomery.
"I guess it was a good thing she was in medical school." Alex tries to make light of the bad memory. "After I sobered up, she introduced herself as Lee Burley's daughter. I thought for sure she'd bail, there's only so much projectile vomiting a girl can take but she hung in there. Jess saw me at my absolute worst and somehow decided I was still worth loving."
"You were always worth loving, Alex." Piper says softly, to which Alex does that nervous readjustment of her perfectly straight glasses, so Piper changes the subject. "What about your brother, Damon? Montgomery said you guys are all really close."
"Damon is...hard to describe, you gotta just meet him to really get him, you know? He's the only one who knew our father. Damon played guitar for a metal band under the same label as Death Maiden, he won't talk about why he and Lee no longer speak but I think it has something to do with his mom. Now he's a Vintner, he runs our winery in Hudson Valley along with our oldest sister, Mary. Though he's been living in the city and working out of his workshop while Quinn is in school and I'm here."
"You own a winery, too?" Piper's surprised about all the things she doesn't know about Alex life outside of these walls. "What did you do, buy each of your siblings a company?"
"Sort of," Alex shrugs "like I said I rose pretty high on the food chain within the cartel, ergo...lots of money. I couldn't just stuff it all in my mattress, so I had a guy clean it and we all decided, why not use it to build something for later on down the road. Jess paid off her mountain of student loans and funded her clinics. Damon and Mary bought the vineyard and Jennifer has an art gallery in Chelsea. Mary used to be a tax attorney, she knew all of the tricks of the trade to get us around the whole drug money thing. "
"And when he's not cultivating wine grapes you make your brother bribe prison guards?" For a second Piper thinks she caught Alex off guard but the taller woman barely bats a lash.
"Damon does whatever I ask of him," Alex answers with an even tone, "or I should say he puts me in contact with people who can fulfill my needs. If I didn't trust you as much as I do, I would think you are wearing a wire, Piper."
"You said I could ask questions," the blonde reminds her, "and one of my biggest questions was why have you committed a handful of crimes for me when you've been more than happy to ignore me for three weeks!?"
"Because I love you."
Piper stops short at the sincerity of her words. Alex steps closer so that Piper has to lift her head to gaze into those shimmering aquamarine eyes. "I love you, Piper."
"Why was it easier to give all of that up, to change for them but not for me?" It's the question that's been nagging her since the talk with Montgomery. Alex wasted no time turning over a new leaf for her family but refused to even consider leaving the game for the woman she claimed to love.
"I don't know." Alex shrugs helplessly. "They needed me."
"I needed you, Alex. I needed you and you were too busy trying to find a way to smuggle heroin into Istanbul to give a shit about me!" her temper is quickly rising, Piper takes a breath and a step back to calm herself. "And now we're stuck in this place and I find out that you've been pulling strings like some creepy ass puppet master to fix all of my problems when in reality my biggest problem is you!"
"Oh I'm your biggest problem?" Alex asks incredulously, she flips her glasses onto the top of her head and leans closer to an increasingly irate Piper. "Fine, I'll admit that Madison gave the Feds your name because she knew that dragging you back into this mess was the best way to hurt me. But Piper, you are fucking high if you think that everything that's happened to you from day one is my fault! You pissed off Red, I was the one who tried to sneak you food against my better judgment. You were the one who sent Doggett into that bathroom to mess with that kid and it was also your bright idea to confess to Caputo to get her out of psych. I told you she was fucking crazy and to let her rot but no, you had to be the better person and come to her rescue when in reality you just couldn't live with the idea that someone may not like your narcissistic ass!"
"Inmates?" CO Fischer cautiously approaches the pair. "you guys were getting kinda loud there. Is everything okay?" She had been watching Chapman and Vause's discussion for a while and though she couldn't hear what they were saying, the shift in their body language suggested that it was time to break it up before Chapman flies off the handle again.
"It's fine," Alex shakes her head, "we're done here."
"Alex," Piper calls after her ex but Alex continues to walk away.
A/N: So this didn't turn out the way it was suppose to but hey, it's one more chapter than I originally planned to write. Funny Face and Wait Until Dark are two of my favorite Audrey Hepburn films, they are amazing if you get the chance, watch them! Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to review, it really does motivate me to continue.