Coursing through My Veins Like Fire
Disclaimer: All characters are the property of Netflix and Kerman
Chapter 7: Every Time My Heart Beats
Alex skips dinner that night and barricades herself in the library reading Walt Whitman's 'Leaves of Grass'. She even paid Taystee in Pepsi and candy bars to look the other way as she hid within the stacks, munching on her meal of pretzels and drowning her sorrow in poetry.
"Now I will dismiss myself from impassive women, I will go stay with her who waits for me, and with those women that are warm-blooded and sufficient for me, I see that they understand me and do not deny me, I see that they are worthy of me, I will be the robust husband of those women." Red quotes from 'A Woman Waits for Me', in her heavy Russian accent. She sits on the worn carpeted floor, taking great care to make herself comfortable next to an impassive Alex. "You skipped dinner, Nicky is looking for you and your Montgomery is pissed."
"Jess is always pissed at me for one thing or another." Alex snorts.
"Sisters," Red chuckles at the startled look Alex gives her, "I have two of my own, each one a bigger pain in the ass than the other. Always think they know what's best."
"Yeah, that sounds about right. I've only known her for about eight years but it feels like we've known each other our entire lives. It's kinda weird."
"There is no greater bond than blood" Red nods sagely, "though love is a close second. My husband, he loved me until I get position he coveted in the organization, then his love wanes. We've barely spoken since I have been here."
Alex gets the impression that is not something Red tells just anyone. Since the reclaiming of her kitchen debacle, Red is a shadow of her former fierce self. Many of her 'daughters' turned their backs on her once they realized Red indirectly caused Gina's burns. The only few who remain loyal are Nicky, Boo and occasionally Lorna. Alex finds herself wanting to reach out to Red, not for a mother figure, she's had one of the best mom's on the planet but more as a friend who can relate to Red's ambition and knows how it feels to have your life torn from you all because you wanted to be better than the hand you were dealt.
"I take it your talk with blondie did not go well?"
"God, does everyone know about our issues?" Alex groans. She was never one for gossip, mostly because she was often the focus of snotty gossip girls growing up. Mendoza was right, this place might as well be renamed 'Litchfield High School' their mascot could be a chicken, Red would appreciate that.
"You do not hide your feelings well when it comes to her. For example, when Norma tells me you give food to blondie after I cut her off, I think 'this one has balls'. So I went easy on you."
"You call a 45 minute foot rub, going easy on me?" Alex snorts in disbelief.
"Compared to what others had to go through, yes."
"Have you seen your feet?"
Red smacks Alex in the back of the head, "Don't be smartass. I went easy because of what you told me. That you wouldn't let the woman you loved starve just because she's a stuck up idiot."
"Apologizing for Piper's fuck ups are like second nature to me. Yet, I don't recall using those exact words?"
"It was implied." Red gives Alex a look that dares the younger woman to deny her feelings. "You have wrong idea, staying away will not keep her safe. How will she know she is in danger if you are not there to keep these men at bay."
"We're in prison Red, I think it's time to admit I've failed epically at keeping us safe."
Piper impatiently shifts from one foot to the other, waiting for the prerecorded message to inform her caller that a prisoner is trying to make contact. She blows out a breath when Polly accepts the call then immediately rips into her.
"If you're calling to complain that Supercunt is still ignoring you or she has another prison wife then I'm hanging up."
"Hello to you too, bestie." Piper's tired voice serves to make Polly feel bad for being bitchy.
"Sorry, Finn has an ear infection and he's been cranky all day and Pete's out of town for some work function. God, I cannot wait until you get out of prison, maternity leave is so boring."
"About that," Piper clears her throat and speaks into the phone receiver in a low voice, "I've met with my lawyer and…nothing is set in stone yet but it looks like I may be getting out of here soon."
"Are you serious Piper, that awesome." Polly exclaims. "Way to bury the lead."
"Well I didn't want to jinx it, things haven't exactly been in my favor lately."
"So you did call to complain about Supercunt." Polly let's out an exasperated sighs and gets comfortable in her chair. Once Piper starts talking about her ex she can drone on in circles for hours. "Fine let's hear it, you discovered she's not the evil twat she portrays herself to be and you're falling in love all over again."
"I don't think I ever stopped loving her, Pol." Piper sounds so defeated, Polly wishes she could visit more often. As much as she loves her best friend, getting sucked into Piper's drama tends to mess up peoples lives.
"Have you talked to her? Apologized for being so wishy-washy with your feelings?"
"I tried to talk to her earlier today but we just ended up yelling at each other until a CO stepped in and she walked away. Everything is just so mixed up and the more I try to untangle it the more I feel like I'm drowning too far off of shore. It feels like I died in there, locked away in the SHU. Perpetual coldness and solitude. I cry every morning because all I could do was think about her, who she was fucking while I slowly lost my mind. How incredible our sex was. More than anything I wanted her to forgive me for cataclysmically fucking up. Cheating on Larry, blaming her for everything shitty in my life and she just... let me." Piper takes a deep breath, letting out a shuddering sob she nearly chokes on her tears. Faintly, Polly's tender shushing and calming coos filter through her anguished cries. "She told me she loves me, I don't...how can she still love me, Polly? I am so fucking stupid, why didn't I say it back?"
"Piper, look she may not have turned you in but she's still responsible for you being in jail. This Madison person named you but that woman you're crying over put you in the middle of her crimes." Polly tries to reason with her friend but her dislike for Alex has been waning the more this mystery unfolds. She'd spent the car ride home from Litchfield defending her contempt for the raven haired woman to Cal, who has become intrigued by his sister's ex-lover. And when Carol's only complaint appeared to be about how Alex has a criminal record but so does half of Wall Street these days, Polly knew she was fighting a losing battle.
"I was jealous, Madison was like Alex...they were both fearless. She wanted Alex and she made it known every single time she saw me. She would taunt me about how she posed as Alex's lover on a trip or how random people said they made a cute couple. I hated her, so much! Alex got rid of her because of me. She passed Madison off to another importer to appease me and everybody knew. But I guess Madison got the last laugh." Piper laughs hysterically, loud enough to draw worried glances from the nearby inmate on the other phone and the guard keeping watch. "I wish I could go back and fix it, that's the moment things began changing for us. I made Alex give up one of her people so she was short on runners and she asked me to fill in. I went to Brussels to prove that I was worth it, that she didn't risk making herself look vulnerable to dangerous people for nothing. My stupid jealousy and pride put us on this path and now...I've been given a second chance to fix us but I didn't say it back. Why didn't I just fucking say it back?"
Alex is walking down the hall when a disembodied hand reaches out to grab her then yanks her into the dark utility closet. But the owner of said hand grunts in surprise when Alex quickly slips out of her grasp, spins around and pins her would be assailant against the cold cinderblock wall.
"Piper...what the shit!" Alex quickly lets go of the arm she twisted behind Piper's back and the blonde turns around, sagging against the wall in relief. "I almost broke your arm!"
"Yes I know, I was there. Fuck that hurt!" She rotates her shoulder to work the blood flow and ease the pins and needles feeling away. Alex reaches over, gently rubbing the sore spot as well.
"Sorry, you know you can't sneak up on people like that in prison, kid." She says contritely, Alex lifts her hand and rubs the frown lines on Piper's forehead away.
"Sorry, I just needed to tell you something "
"I'm really not in the mood to fight with you right now, Pipes." Alex interrupts, she reaches out for the doorknob but Piper's hand quickly closes over hers.
"No wait! Don't go, please Alex." Pipers voice cracks as she begins to panic. She's forced herself to wait in this cramped closet for almost twenty minutes, fighting off flashbacks from being locked in a cell no bigger than this for months, all so that she could catch Alex before the woman could make it back to her dorm for the evening count. Piper takes a deep breath to steady her nerves and block out the voices echoing screams in her head.
Sensing a change, Alex comes closer, her thumb brushing across Piper's furrowed brow and she ducks her head to better see the blonde's unfocused eyes.
"It's okay, kid. I'm here, I'm right here just focus and listen to my voice," Alex softly repeats until crystal blue eyes gaze directly at her with some form of recognition. "Has that been happening often?"
"It comes and goes," Piper swallows, as she becomes more cognizant of her surroundings, she recalls her mission and shakes off the lingering effects of her memory. "How...?"
Alex shuffles her feet, she looks as though she doesn't want to answer but doesn't want to lie either. After a pause, she settles for the abridged version.
"Lena would get the same look in her eyes sometimes, her brothers were monsters." The muscles in her jaw tighten, "And Quinn, she'd have full-on panic attacks whenever a memory from her childhood would suddenly resurface. It's been years since she fled from that hell hole but she still has the occasional night terror. I really fucking hate not being there to comfort her like I used to."
Piper went from focusing on her pain to trying to sooth Alex's. It's a better solution than the breathing techniques Caputo has been putting her through. Although a bit counterproductive, the tightly wound ball of anxiety in her chest slackens considerably.
"I don't want to fight with you, Alex. Again, sorry for sneaking up on you but you skipped dinner and I need to tell you that…I'm grateful for everything you've done to protect me. Reese is an amazing attorney, she's working out a strategy that'll hopefully get me less time for the assault. And while I still maintain that you should have told me about your relation to Montgomery, I'm sorry for acting like a jealous bitch towards your sister. And," She takes another fortifying breath to steel herself against a possible rejection, "and I love you, too."
Alex stares blankly back at her for several long moments, fear starts to creep in and Piper's flight response is ready to kick in but a pair of soft, plump lips are pressed against hers and all thoughts are magically erased.
Oh how she missed the feel of Alex's capable hands caressing her body. Of Alex's tongue gliding in and out of her mouth, she missed the clean nondescript scent of Alex's skin. Most of all, Piper missed the way Alex instinctively knew exactly how and where to touch her.
"Pipes wait." she breaks the kiss and inhales deeply to try and clear her lust filled mind. Alex knows that she should put a stop to this, if for nothing else than the sake of self preservation. The last time Alex let Piper pull her into a dark room and launched herself at the older woman, she ended up with a broken heart and a string of scores to settle. Alex tries to back away but Piper's insistent hands grip her face, pulling her back for another kiss.
"Don't stop Al, please." There's a wild look in her baby blue eyes that has Alex hypnotized.
Alex presses her body against Piper's smaller frame. One hand snakes under her uniform top to drag her blunt nails across the blonde's stomach. Piper lets out a hiss of pleasure as Alex's fingers tease her taunt nipples.
Piper's moaning gets louder the further down Alex's right hand travels. She presses the palm of her hand slightly against the blonde's center and Piper lets out a sharp yelp, climaxing hard. Alex wraps Piper in her arms, holding her until the tremors settle and she basks in that euphoric feeling.
"Damn," Alex chuckles "talk about a hair-trigger, I barely touched you kid."
"Don't look so smug," Piper says in between pants. "it's been a while."
"Words cannot express how much I miss having a real bed. Taking you up against the wall in a cramped closet or a grimy shower is getting fucking ridiculous." Alex buries her face in the crook of Piper's neck, placing kisses against her heated skin. Too soon it's time to head back to their separate dorms for count but this time when they part, Alex gives Piper a quick kiss and a promise to save her a seat for breakfast. Piper enters Spanish Harlem with her clothes in disarray and the biggest, 'I just got laid' smirk known to man.
A/N: If this seems kind of rushed it's because I'm trying to wrap it up within the next two to three chapters but new ideas keep popping up and its way too distracting. Thank you to everyone who has read/reviewed/favorite this fic, hopefully the ending will live up to your expectations.