Listening to this dub: youtube .com/watch?v=vj9NKB27kNE

'Tis amahzing.

Sorry for the lateness. I'm still alive. Full of love.

xoxo

kyo

I stared at the math in front of me, illuminated by my small lamp. It was getting dark outside. I felt like I should have been hungry, but Matt had been serving me - something I was very unaccustomed to. I'd heard him walking around, locking himself up in his room, even. But I heard him leave a while ago to go back to the living room. I imagined he must have returned to his thousand crane wish. I briefly wondered where he'd even heard the legend, before deciding it must have been Yoji.

... But what could Matt have wanted so badly? Something he wouldn't even tell me about? Had he told Yoji? I was willing to bet he had. It wasn't fair. I should have been closer to him. If we hadn't been polar opposites, would he have told me?

He said he had told me. Just not directly. 'In his own way' he'd told me. He probably knew me well enough to know I couldn't just guess by behaviour or something like that. I mean, he should know me well enough to know that, at least. Then what the heck did he mean?

"Ugh. This is so stupid. I'm supposed to be studying, but because of dumbass Matt and his dumbass mind games, I can't concentrate on anything!" I pouted out loud. Anything but Matt, I added, not out loud. "Stupid Matt, keeping secrets from me."

It's not a secret. Yoji probably knows.

I shook away the thought, picking up the black crane that had been dutifully watching me study. "I bet he told you, huh? Is that what he meant when he said he told me in his own way? What, are you my replacement?" I stared at it like it would whisper back to me. Of course, it didn't. I fiddled with the bird in my hand, watching the folds of the paper carefully.

The second they're said they belong to the wind and it'll take them everywhere.

It all started that day, huh? With a colourful crane that was once an invite.

If you write them, they are the pen's, the paper's.

I carefully unfolded the bird, staring at the blank, undisturbed black. Then flipped it over for good measure, feeling like an idiot.

I'd like to go to the winter dance with Mel.

I stared at the tiny white handwriting. It was messier than mine, but it wasn't illegible - although I think it was written in white china marker. There were about 100 things bouncing through my head at once. He means as friends, one assured. But usually people don't have trouble just asking a friend to go to a dance as friends! another yelled. It's a joke. Matt doesn't joke. Matt always jokes! He wouldn't joke about that! He just means friends. He doesn't think of you as anything more than a friend. Why would you even think he's thinking something else? Are you thinking something else? How do you like Matt? Idiot, don't travel down that train of thought. You're the straight-forward one.

My face must have gone from peach to pink to green back to pink to red to redder to purple to green. I felt like every colour but the black Matt had compared me to.

So just confront him.

I took the paper and bolted for my door, throwing it open. A few cranes lay on the floor in front of my door, looking like they'd been thrown from the couch at my door. I almost stepped on them, but quickly hopped over the small pile. "Ma--!" I started.

"Mello, look!" He chirped and threw a yellow crane at me. "It's the thousandth one." He grinned. I clumsily caught the bird, only to drop it anyway.

"M-Matt?" I murmured, almost as quiet as a whisper. He blinked. I shook my head then held up the creased paper. "Wh-what the fuck, Matt?! This is your own way, you bastard?! If it were anyone but me it would have taken ages to find this!" His face flushed beat red. "You do know the dance is tomorrow anyway, right? What if I found this, like, three years from now, you dip shit? Do you know how confusing that would have been? Fuck that, how confusing it already is!"

He recoiled into the couch. "S-s-s-sorry," he whimpered. "I didn't think you'd ever... a-and...." He sniffled.

"Grah! D-don't start crying!" I spazzed. He buried his face in hands. "J-just... explain it to me, okay?"

He shook his head, curling up into himself.

"Matt!" I huffed, carefully walking around the 999 paper birds. "Just tell me what you mean."

"Wh-what...?" He sobbed, peeking up at me.

"Did you want to go... just to the dance? With friends... as friends?" I rubbed my neck.

"Uwgh...." I flinched away from the weird sound as Matt awkwardly tugged his goggles off to rub at his eyes. "J-jerk!" He snapped at me. "Why would... would I be afraid of ever asking that?" he cried. "That's stupid! Y-you...."

"So... when you say go the dance... you really mean...?"

"I-I won't say it, you asshole!" He snapped.

"Yeah, yeah. Take a pill." I waved a hand. "But... um...."

"D-don't." He covered his ears. "I know what you're gonna say!"

I pried his hands from his ears. He struggled against me. "Matt, just let me think, okay?" He halted, staring up at me with big, green eyes and tear-stained cheeks.

"Th-think?" he repeated.

"And... I'll tell you tomorrow," I murmured. "Okay?"

"B-but...." He lowered his head.

"Welpe, lift your head!" I bit. "Don't be a pessimist! Don't assume you'll get a certain answer," I huffed.

"Y-yeah?" He murmured, shaking like a leaf. I dropped his wrists.

"Get some sleep, alright?"

"Yeah," he answered. I made my way back towards my room. "Ani Ohevet Otcha*, Mello," he murmured. I didn't know what the words meant or in what language they were, but they felt somewhat comforting, anyway.

"Good night," I added before hiding in my room to spend a mostly-restless night battling with myself.

*'Tis "I love you" in Hebrew. I hope.

It's because of Razuri-chan from dA that I decided Matt was of Jewish origin, by the way....