Lux despised tutoring. It was almost bearable when Eric was her tutor, but even then...who loves spending an hour being reminded of how dumb they are? Every chapter and every question, it's just a constant punch in the face that it will always be hard for her. It was now that she dreaded Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

"Lux, please pay attention. Let's try question four again," her tutor reprimanded while Lux gazed outside. Question four? She couldn't even remember question 1, 2, or 3 for that matter.

"I'm sorry, I guess I'm just foggy. Early on a Monday and such," Lux said, redirecting her attention to the work in front of her. Her tutor pointed to the the question and took another sip of coffee. They spent another half hour working through some of the more important quotes of Pride and Prejudice.

"Lux, I know this is difficult, but it's going to be essential to passing your English class. It's going to take more time I know, because the language is older and more confusing."

Lux wanted to scream. Is this what everyone thought of her? She understood the words just fine. She could read the language and understand exactly what they were saying. It was the way the questions were worded that confused her. She just wasn't able to connect the two pieces together. I blame it on lazy synapses, she smiled to herself.

Finally the clock creeped closer to 8 am. Lux never thought she'd be happy to go to actual class. Having all this one on one tutoring was unnerving. At least when Mr. Daniels was tutoring her, she had someone who more or less understood her. More than the teacher working with her now. She was only mildly aware that she was tapping her pencil incessantly on the desk. Subconsciously or maybe consciously she was trying to drive her tutor insane.

"Alright Lux, you can go." As Lux quickly packed her bag she was reminded not to be late for their Wednesday session.

"I can't wait...I'm quite literally dying of anticipation." Ok so maybe that was a bit harsh, she thought as she trudged down the hall to her first class. There seemed to be a lot more harshness in her words these days. It was something she decided that she would have to work on...at some point in the future. She barely noticed Eric heading her way. But she did notice. Because no matter how preoccupied she was with the inner workings of her brain as soon as he came into sight, nothing else really mattered. He smiled at her. It wasn't a smile she ever saw him give others. Not even Paige. Just a half smile that was more in the eyes than in the mouth. In his lips. And she wished it made her feel special. Because she was falling for that sheepish mouth of his.

Lux, you better check yourself before you wreck yourself. She couldn't help but grin widely at her own thoughts. Damn Baze and his childish need to watch theatrical trailers on YouTube.

"What's so funny?" Eric had stopped in front of her. She gave him a questioning look. "Your smile. What's the cause?" He clarified, adjusting his shoulder bag. Everyone in the school seemed to fade into the background. She pondered his hair for a brief second. Because it was just so damn messy perfect. It would take her an hour to achieve such a nonchalant hairstyle. And she was kind of dying to know if he just rolled out of bed that way or...actually what she really wanted to know is why she was still stuck with tutor-bitch. Why he didn't want to tutor her anymore. Seemed like a fairly easy question to ask. But nothing between them was in anyway easy.

"The cause isn't important Mr. Daniels. It's more about the effect." She was pleased with the neutral tone she achieved.

"I don't know, I'm pretty interested in the cause," he said smiling. Why Mr. Daniels, are you flirting with me? If I wasn't so damned angry with you, I might be enjoying the slight banter. Lux didn't want to be cruel. She didn't want to be angry. A wiser person would have been up front with him. Maybe she was blowing everything out of proportion. The feelings of anger were impossible to shake though.

She looked up at him, trying to gauge things. Damn smile. The real world started to creep back in. The sounds of everyone around them seemed louder now. It would never be just the two of them. He really meant it when he said they couldn't be together.

" I was just thinking of something I saw online with Baze the other night," Lux said distantly, before she continued on to her next class.

"Lux?" Eric called after her. But Lux wasn't stopping. She quickly detoured to the bathroom. The mirror told no lies. She looked at her reflection for a moment before splashing water on her face. The tension between the two of them was becoming unbearable. He already said they couldn't be together. Why it had taken her this long to actually process it, she had no clue. But now it hit her. Now it bitch slapped her in the face. He would always be nice towards her. Flirtatious even. But that would most likely be it.

She stared back into the mirror as the water droplets dripped off her skin. Sooner rather than later, he would find another Paige. God, this sucks. She patted her face dry with a paper towel and forged on to her next class.

The day passed her by and it was pretty uneventful. Lux did her best not to be consumed by the thoughts that seemed to lurk around every corner. When the day ended, she was beyond grateful.

Wednesday tutoring, if possible was worse than Monday. And Lux had already adjusted to the early hour of the session.

"Lux, I mean honestly. It's not that hard. Take the quote and analyze it for me. You keep telling me what it means but I want more than that. Themes, motifs, syntax. Don't just translate. I just don't understand why you aren't taking this seriously."

Watch it bitch.

"I am," Lux responded in disbelief.

The tutor shook her head and rolled her eyes slightly.

"Then pay attention, okay?" Lux simply nodded, feeling horrible. Was she really this stupid? She opened Pride and Prejudice to the marked page and read it yet again.

Which do you mean?" and turning round, he looked for a moment at Elizabeth, till catching her eye, he withdrew his own and coldly said, "She is tolerable; but not handsome enough to tempt me; and I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men. You had better return to your partner and enjoy her smiles, for you are wasting your time with me."

The school bell rang in the distance.

"Lucky for you Lux. Have this analyzed and written up by Friday, alright?" Lux nodded and walked somberly out of the classroom. It wasn't until she spotted Tasha that her mood brightened slightly.

"What's got you down, girl?" Tasha asked pulling books out of her locker.

"Stupid tutoring. Isn't it supposed to make you better? I mean isn't the idea to somehow make you smarter, therefore making life slightly easier for you and classes easier to get through?" Tasha closed the locker door and put on her backpack.

"I mean it's sound reasoning. Why? Don't you feel smarter?" Tasha draped an arm around Lux and squeezed slightly. "It'll get better. Promise," she smirked. Lux managed to smile back. It was good having Tasha back. "Hey, do you have plans after school?"

"Baze is picking me up. He didn't say what we were doing though. You wanna join?" Tasha shook her head.

"I was just going to hit up the library with Jones. I'm still playing catch-up. But you know, it'll be good for you to take a break from studying. It kind of been the theme of your life this week. Is that why you've been so down? Are you still afraid of failing out?" Tasha asked concerned.

That was the other thing. She couldn't even tell Tasha. She couldn't tell anyone. As soon as one person knew what she was feeling and who she was feeling it for...it would all go to hell.

"Yeah. Just stressed about school."

Just before her last class let out, Lux got a text from Baze.

Hey kiddo, major stock market crisis. Working late-already called Cate. She'll pick you up. I'll make it up to you soon.

Cate could easily see that Lux was upset.

"Do you wanna grab some food?" Cate asked trying to cheer her up. Lux just shook her head. "Ice cream?" Lux shook her head again and got into the SUV. "A wad of cash?" Cate said trying to lighten the mood.

"Can we just go home? I'm tired." Cate reached out to stroke Lux's hair.

"Of course we can." Cate was starting to worry. It had been over a week now that Lux's mood had been so somber. At first she was sure it was school and the recent tests. But now she was concerned it had to do with something else. Someone else. Possibly Bug, but she didn't think so.

When they arrived home Lux dropped her bag down by the front door and headed straight to her room.

"I'll be up in a bit with something to eat, okay Lux?" No answer. Cate tried to think what a good mother would do in this situation. Her own mom would have shoved food in her face. So she thought it might not be the best idea to do that. She headed up to Lux's room. "Sweetie, you okay?"

Lux lay on her bed with a glazed blank expression. "Just talk to me. I'm here." She sat down next to her sad lump of a daughter and waited. Lux didn't know what to say. She was upset about so much. Most of it being Eric. Some of it being school.

"What do you do when..."

"When what?" Cate gently urged Lux to continue.

"How do you get over someone? How do you move on?" Her stomach curled in on itself as she said those words out loud. Cate thought for a moment.

"Well, I suppose it's dependent on the situation, you know? Sometimes space is the most important thing to moving on."

"That's what I thought," Lux replied miserably. She knew there could only be so much space between them. More than she wanted anyway.

"But Lux, sometimes we only think something can't or won't work. That doesn't mean we're right. Look at all the obstacles Ryan and I have overcome. I mean I know you're only in high school so I'm praying your hurdles aren't like mine and Ryan's, but I'm almost sure they can be crossed. Just take it easy," Cate advised, giving her a hug. "Give yourself a break."

Lux sat up and leaned against the headboard of her bed and closed her eyes. Take it slow. Focus on other things. It made sense. She seemed to remember reading or hearing that if you just let something go and stop obsessing about it, sometimes it comes back. Kind of sounds like a carrier pigeon though, Lux thought grimly.

"Cate, what if it's someone else who won't try to overcome the obstacle. What do you do then?" Things were becoming clearer to Cate. She smiled.

"Then you don't give him a reason not too. You just be the best version of you that you can possibly be and wait for him to fall in love with you." Lux could never imagine Eric being in love with her. Sure, they had a connection, but love? "Then he'll be able to leap over all the hurdles with ease," Cate gave Lux another quick hug and told her to rest for a while. Lux couldn't resist a small smirk knowing that Cate had practically told her how to get her teacher to fall in love with her.

Lux rested her head on a pillow, but found that she couldn't rest. Her mind was buzzing with all of this motherly advice. Her brain was more congested than ever. A few minutes later she eyed her sneakers in the corner of the room and decided to go for a jog. She pulled on a pair of purple knee high socks, a pair of black shorts, and Baze's old Mr. Magoo T-shirt.

"I'm going for a run, be back in a couple of hours!" Lux yelled to whoever was in the house as she flew out the front door. The original plan was to head towards the bar, but she realized Baze wouldn't be home as he was working late. Mckinley park was a good place and not too far so she headed in that direction.

As the wind whipped by her face, and the ground hummed beneath her, she realized how much of a stress reliever this sport was. Things were feeling clearer already. Suddenly, everything seemed possible...or at least slightly more manageable. She pushed herself harder to go faster. She breezed through the park with ease. Not so many people today, she thought to herself offhand. She kept going. Her tongue was dry. She realized she should have brought water. Suddenly she knew she had to push herself to the limit if she was ever going to release this pent up anger. Changing the song on her iPod, she started off. As she picked up the pace, she realized that it was getting colder. Probably why there were less people out. The sun was slowly fading in the distance, but she still had plenty of time. With each stride her heart beat faster. No one loves you. Everyone leaves. Stupid. Useless. Waste of space. Foster Freak. Thoughts that somehow usually had a hold on her were cast away. They were wrapped in the wind and blown in an opposite direction, making room for new thoughts in Lux's head.

Courage. Determination. Heart. Love. Ability. Lux didn't know what to make of these words that sprang to her mind, but she went with them as she forced herself to move faster. To the limit. Her chest felt a bit tight, but she kept going. Now the trees were just a blur as she zoomed past them. The song on her iPod suddenly changed. Something way too slow. Not wanting to lose all of her momentum, she forced herself to keep running as she looked down for a new song.

"Whoa!"

Lux looked up as she crashed into a person in front of her.

"Oh, God. I'm so sorry," she yelped losing her grip on the iPod. Fortunately he caught it.

"Lux?" It was Eric. Of course it was. Because this is the world's giant joke. Eric handed her iPod back. "Are you that pissed that you want to cause me physical harm?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. She looked at him. From the outfit he was wearing she could tell that he was running as well.

"No, I mean...I wasn't looking," Lux fumbled over her words. Her heart was thumping like the energizer bunny. She had pushed herself too far. "I'm sorry, it was an accident," she mumbled, jogging away at a slow speed. She went to put her ear buds back in, but she felt light headed and dizzy. Please don't still be behind me. Please God, just let him have run in the opposite direction, she silently prayed knowing that if she didn't sit down soon, she'd fall down. She should have known better she thought bitterly. She hadn't been running in a month. She shouldn't have expected to just pick up at the same pace. There was a bench in the somewhat near distance. Lux slowed her pace to a walk. She was determined to make it. She gripped her iPod firmly and kept walking. Just need a quick rest and I'll be fine. However, as she thought that, the trees seemed to be moving faster. Dancing wildly around her was a better term. She wished she had brought a jacket. As she sank to the grass next to the path, she also regretted forgoing lunch earlier that day.

"Lux!" She heard footsteps coming closer. Go away. Please. He kneeled down in front of her.

"M'fine," Lux stated weakly. She felt him pull her up. "No, don't." He reached to pick her up.

"Don't what, Lux?" He asked gingerly picking up her small frame. He started walking towards the bench.

"Don't pick me up. Put me down. I'm not some fairytale princess." He kept walking. "Put me down!" She knew she was probably dripping sweat. She didn't need to be carried. He gently put her down, but never released his grip. "I can make it," she said quietly. She let him support her as they finally found the wooden bench. As they both sat down, she more or less collapsed against him, resting her head on his shoulder.

After a minute or so, as she regained some of her strength she realized what she was leaning against and apologized, switching positions.

"No apology needed," he answered handing her his water bottle. "Water?" he asked. She took it gratefully.

"Water...the essence of wetness," she grinned with effort and drank thirstily. He stared at her for a moment and burst into laughter. "What?" she asked innocently.

"Nothing," he said pulling off his University of Minnesota sweatshirt, " I just didn't know you were a Zoolander fan." She handed him back his water bottle.

"Well, it's just that there's a lot more to life than being really good looking...and I'm glad he was able to figure that out." Eric looked at her and Lux swore it was the same look he gave her at the billboard.

"Here," he said giving Lux his sweatshirt, "take it, I don't like it when you shiver," he said sincerely.

"I'm really not that cold," she lied. It wasn't that she didn't want to take his sweatshirt. Because she really did. She really did want too. He pushed it towards her no taking no for an answer. He watched as she pulled it on over her head. It smelled like him. And her heart started beating faster in a different way. It was too big for her in all the right ways. She pulled her knees up to her chest and used the sweatshirt to cover her.

"Come here," he said softly, pulling her into his embrace. She leaned into his chest and let him wrap his arms around her. Her ear rested against his chest and she listened carefully to the steady thump of his heart. "You ran yourself pretty ragged," he remarked after a few minutes of silence. "You...scared me."

"Just trying to clear my head. It's been a tough week, I guess." He reached over and tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. He wished he knew what to say to make this all better. He thought it was selfish for wanting her in a way they couldn't be.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked. She shook her head slightly, not trusting herself to talk about anything right now.

The sun set completely and Lux knew their moment would come to an end, so she savored it while it lasted.

"My sweatshirt," Eric said, his voice barely above a whisper. "It looks better on you. You should keep it." He tightened his arms around her ever so slightly. Just enough for Lux to notice. He breathed deeply against her.

"Thanks Minnesota," she said smiling into his chest.