Emily opened her eyes slowly and recognised Carson's surgery, the lights were dim and it was extremely quiet. Her mind quickly replayed to her the events of earlier; unwillingly they were playing her a vision of her hitting concrete with the auditory hallucination of a sickening thud and crack of her skull. Emily shuddered with revulsion and then groaned in pain when the slight movement caused her tenderly sown flesh to tug at the stitches. Instantly Jasyn appeared at her side making her jump and aggravate the wound more, Emily hissed but could not bear to move enough to look down at her chest.

"How're you feeling?" Jasyn said urgently, his voice husky as if he had been woken from sleep; he also looked worried if her eyes were not deceiving her.

"Fine," she whispered her voice a little bit hoarse.

"Should I call Carson or the human?" he asked with concern and Emily stared for a moment, she shook her head.

"Margie, Jasyn," she corrected softly, "the human's name is Margie. And no I just need to lie here for a while without any fuss. But I don't want you to leave!" She added quickly, in case he thought to leave her to sleep. "I get so bored when I'm left in rooms on my own."

Emily thought back to when she was in hospital in Bulgaria after Jasyn had first tried to kill her, but she didn't mention it. Jasyn nodded and settled back into his chair, pulling it closer to her bed, the chair was so low and the bed so high that their heads were almost level. Emily gritted her teeth and shifted slightly so that she could comfortably turn her head and shoulder to look at Jasyn, his face was stony.

"I guess this is where you tell me I brought this on myself," Emily grimaced and Jasyn blinked slowly, he lean his arm on the bed the lay his chin upon it, looking into Emily's eyes.

"Is that why you think I'm here?" Jasyn couldn't help feeling stupidly hurt by her assessment of his motives for being there.

"Aren't you?"

"I wanted to make sure you were alright," Jasyn admitted softly, his lids lowered so she would not see the guilt there. "After all it is my fault you're hurt in the first place."

"No, it isn't," Emily protested earnestly, "it wasn't anyone's fault, really. I just couldn't hold my form."

Her cheeks flushed crimson and Jasyn reached out his hand to stroke a finger over her blush, she was forever embarrassed by admitting her short comings to him and he didn't like it.

"I never told you this," Jasyn whispered gently to her, his voice soothing to her ears, "but Were-Hunters just out of puberty can't even change during daylight. So you may think you've failed but in actual fact you are probably more powerful then a lot of Weres who grew up with the knowledge of what they are."

"Really?" Emily whispered smiling widely, she felt proud of herself but much happier that Jasyn was actually praising her; it made her feel stupidly weepy.

Jasyn nodded and moved her hair from her face, he watched her close her eyes as if soothed by his hand, which was something he had trouble believing. His hands were made for murder and destruction, he'd never touched another being with such tenderness and care, yet there was no denying the gentleness that possessed him now. Emily made a noise of contentment which gave him a satisfied thrill, she opened her eyes.

"That feels so nice."

"I'm glad."

He stroked her a little bit more; thinking that her hair was like crimson silk, then she took his hand in hers and held it, looking up at him with those hazel eyes of hers that looked amber in the dim light.

"Do Were-Hunters scar, Jasyn?" Emily asked him suddenly, she felt stupid asking him such a question when it was obvious she was very lucky not to have been more badly hurt. Yet that small vain part of her, the part connected to her wonderings of what Jasyn thought when he looked at her, needed to know.

"Yes," he whispered, Jasyn thought of his own scars even as his eyes flicked down to Emily's covered chest. "Every Were-Hunter has scars."

"Are we talking physical or emotional?" Emily said with a droll smile and Jasyn huffed out a self-deprecating laugh.

"Both," he replied quietly, Emily's smile turned grim.

"Well, I best keep it covered up or I'll never get another date again," Emily said flippantly to break the silence that fell between them.

"You're still beautiful, Emily," Jasyn assured her seriously and Emily felt that stupid sensation of her eyes filling with tears, praise and approval from Jasyn was kind of like a blessing from the Pope.

Jasyn couldn't believe what he had just said to her, it had been the truth of course, but where were his striving efforts to keep his feelings for her suppressed? Where was his natural and automatic revulsion at having to associate with an Arcadian?

"Jasyn?"

Jasyn blinked and raised his eyes to meet Emily's; her silence had made him think that she had drifted back off to sleep.

"Yes?"

Emily shifted to look at him better; still she retained possession of his hand which Jasyn found he quite liked.

"Why aren't you mated yet?"

He was taken aback by that and found that he couldn't quite meet her eyes when he answered her. Instead he concentrated on studying the slender shape of her fingers and neatly cut nails.

"I told you, it's not a voluntary thing," he replied, "the Fates decide who you mate with."

"Yeah, but surely you can actively look for her?" Emily persisted, "Or do you have to literally wait until 'The One' bumps into you in the street?"

She said 'the one' in a sardonic way that made Jasyn risk a look at her, she obviously didn't believe in the one.

"Something like that," Jasyn answered with the trace of laughter in his voice, "you're shown a sign and then you know this is the person you're bound to."

Emily made a dissatisfied noise and Jasyn found himself smirking, "what?"

"Well," she said slowly not meeting his eyes, "it's all a little bit … unromantic."

Emily risked a look at him and blushed a little before shrugging, "well, it's just when you told me about all the things that a mating entailed I thought it sounded rather lovely. You know, always being faithful to each other and all that? Now I'm not so sure."

"No?"

"Well, the way you put it you could just as soon as got out of a furious fight with someone and then they became the person you're meant to spend the rest of your life with."

Jasyn did laugh then, "it doesn't work like that."

"Oh?" Emily said curiously.

"The mating mark will show itself after two chosen mates fu - err … are intimate."

Emily raised her eyebrows, "you're shitting me!"

"Nope," Jasyn laughed and watched with delight as expressions played across her face while thoughts raced through her mind.

"Well, then … that can't be so bad, can it?" Emily asked cautiously, "I mean, if you are prepared to sleep with this person before you're shown to be mates, it can't be so completely horrid to be mated."

"Again, it -"

"Doesn't always work like that," Emily said wryly and Jasyn nodded a smile gracing his mouth once again, making him so handsome to Emily that she blushed at the thought of how much of a wreck she must look.

"There are cases when Weres have come across one another while the female is in season," Jasyn explained, "by then she'll shag a squirrel if it nibbles its nuts the right way."

"Eww!" Emily wrinkled her nose with disgust but could not contain a laugh; it was the kind of crude humour that Jay and Paul were King of. Jasyn's eyes softened and he tucked his hand more securely around hers.

"In most cases though Weres will simply sleep with everyone that crosses their path, it's the surest way of meeting your mate."

"I suppose so," Emily mused discontentedly, "so then in actual fact you could be mated to someone you detest. In theory you could be mated to an Arcadian."

Jasyn's face turned stony and Emily grimaced and her heart dropped a little, "sorry. You just ate, right?"

Jasyn reluctantly nodded and silence descended, though Emily noted with a small thrill that he hadn't let go of her hand.

"So fidelity matters to you then?" Jasyn said finally and Emily looked up at him, his face was still like granite and she wished he was smiling again.

"It means something to every woman," Emily replied dismissively and heard Jasyn scoff mockingly, she gave him a filthy look which tickled silent laughter into his eyes. It was only that which made her speak to him.

"Yes, it means something to me. So what?" she snapped defensively, "doesn't it mean anything to you?"

Jasyn shrugged nonchalantly, "it doesn't really matter whether it does."

"And why's that?"

"Do you know you manage to sound sarcastic even when you're asking questions?" Jasyn jibed, rolling his eyes at her, "because when mated only the male is bound by the faithful-ever-more law. You women can sleep with twenty guys a night while the men turn into a fucking ktistai."

"What?"

"Celibate … living like monks."

"But surely if you were in love and trusted -"

Jasyn's laugh was so harsh it came out like a screech; he couldn't believe how naïve she was! Love and trust? They were as alien to Jasyn as betrayal and hurt were to her, he would never trust a woman the way she was talking about. To willingly lie down beside her and sleep without thought that she might put a knife in his chest? To allow her to prepare food without the suspicion that it may be poisoned? No, he could not trust, he wasn't capable of it.

"Surely you don't expect me to believe all that love and trust bullshit?" Jasyn sneered mockingly at her, "or to believe that you really believe in it?"

Emily squirmed a little, granted she'd been shitted on by Edward but it hadn't erased her belief that though there may not be 'The One' out there, love and trust were still fundamental parts of many strong, healthy, loving relationships.

"What do you mean?"

"You and the good Doctor," Jasyn said casually but with venom, "Quassim, was it? What was it again? Oh yes - 'I know you'll never forgive me, and I know I don't deserve it ... I made a wrong choice. And I would just like you to know that I've learnt my lesson and if you'd ever find it in your heart to give me some room back in your life, I will not, ever, be as foolish and complacent. Nor will I take it for granted'".

Emily abruptly whipped her hand from Jasyn's, she was seething with rage at the idea of him listening to a conversation so heartfelt and personal and then to mock it.

"You have no idea what you're talking about!" she hissed at him, "no idea at all!"

"Hey, you cheated on the doctor and he was dumb enough to trust you -"

"I never cheat on anyone, and if you took the time to find out more you'd see that Quassim was my friend!" Emily spat furiously, "a friend that warned me against being with a man that would eventually go on to cheat on me and break my heart!"

Emily sat back and stared evilly at him, wishing thousands of horrid things on him; Jasyn tried to think of something to say but had run out of ideas. Clearly it was a touchy subject and he had been less the tactless in approaching it, he had just thought she was a cheating, hypocritical bitch that was trying to schmooze him with all this love and trust crap. He hadn't expected her to be a victim of betrayal herself! Usually the victims were like him, bitter and suspicious but she talked like she still believed in people, that someone out there may actually stand the test. Well, that was youth and inexperience for you …

Jasyn was about to open his mouth and say sorry when the door opened behind them, Jasyn looked over his shoulder and frowned menacingly, it was that stupid, young hatchling.

"You should be sleeping," Carson said kindly advancing further into the room, all Jasyn heard was lascivious intent in his smooth, friendly voice and manner. It was all he could do to keep from growling and blocking his view of Emily.

"How're you feeling?"

"Better," Emily said with a smile, Jasyn clamped down tight on his jealousy and moved away from the bed so Carson could approach. Carson came close and took her hand, feeling her wrist for her pulse she let him. Her eyes were calm as they stared back at Carson and her smile, though tired was in place, Jasyn removed himself from the room less he do something stupid and needless. What did he want with the approval of a little Arcadian hawkswan?

Emily pursed her lips and watched Jasyn leave, wasn't it just typical of him to spoil things? Weren't they having a marvellous little time together when he had to go and be all infuriating and horrid? Still, she hadn't wanted him to leave.

Emily made herself focus on what Carson was telling her, all the while her eyes flicking to the door to see if he might come back to her.

Jasyn slept all through the next day because he was so tired on account of the all night vigil he'd kept outside Emily's room. Carson was becoming more troublesome by the minute, the young Hawkswain may have said that he would not actively make the moves on Emily, but he's kind and friendly, I'm-your-doctor-lean-on-my-shoulder routine was doing it for him. It was five o clock when Jasyn flashed into human form and took a shower, all the while thinking of Emily. Not wanting to say sorry even when you were wrong was the most irritating part of being proud and stubborn, he guessed that's why one was a deadly sin. Maybe she had simmered down enough to forget about the whole thing, and perhaps if he walked in there with the whole 'Honey, I'm home' attitude she would just go with it. Jasyn grimaced as he stepped out of the shower and started to dry, she'd looked very pissed off last night though …

Who wouldn't? Her boyfriend had cheated on her and left her and then there was him rubbing salt in the wound, so to speak. But what was with her and the doctor friend though? The guy had been severely hurt and angry at her and then she'd given her little speech about not taking things for granted and he'd caved. Jasyn didn't want to admit it but he could see why, Emily had something sincere about her, something innocent in her that said if she ever caused someone harm she genuinely had absolutely no intention of doing it. Unless she meant to do it that is, in the case of her trying to slap him senseless the other day on the landing. Jasyn couldn't help huffing out a small laugh at the memory of it, yeah; she was a little spitfire alright. Jasyn's movements slowed in drying himself with the towel as he thought of what Emily said to him last night, her friend had warned against a man that went on to cheat on her and break her heart. What kind of man was it that she had been in love with? He couldn't see her shacking up with any old Joe Public off the street, she had a certain taste, Jasyn would bet …

The guy would be intellectual, like her, because his girl was savvy and sharp. And Jasyn reckoned he would be a city guy, used to fast paced lifestyle, and rich too, you usually had to be rich if you lived in a city. This by extension meant he was likely into material things, the latest trend that money could buy, gadgets and cars and what not. He'd be handsome too, for Emily was beautiful and she would attract the top of the tree everywhere she went. The picture that Jasyn built in his mind of this mystery guy was one he didn't like; he couldn't understand why a man, a human man, would let Emily go. Jasyn was a Katagari Were-Hunter, his life wasn't so simple that he could just forsake everything and choose to be with Emily. But if he was, if he could be, he would be.

Jasyn cursed as he finally admitted it to himself, he wanted her, he liked her and he couldn't have her. He'd never been interested in women for anything more then a one night stand yet now he was stuck around a woman he wanted to be near, one that put fire in his blood and warmth in his heart, he really did like her. She didn't annoy him like most women did, granted at first he thought her stupid, but that was because she didn't publicise how smart she was. And funny! Damn, she made him want to laugh all the time, women never made him laugh; he always thought they were silly. And she was so curious and excited about everything he had to tell her and show her that her eyes literally glowed when they talked.

Jasyn shivered and blinked, he was standing in the middle of he's bathroom letting the cold air dry the beads of water on his body, he looked down and cursed, he was rock hard. It was a familiar sight of course, ever since Emily had been at Sanctuary he felt like he was a callow youth going through puberty again. Especially when he got out of the shower he seemed to be thinking of her, thinking of her drenched in water. He could never imagine what she would look like, he'd seen her naked it was true, but he'd been far to worried about the bloody gaping hole in her chest to appreciate how beautiful she was. Jasyn reached down and took a hold of himself in his fist, he was a big man when erect, by human standards he was exceptional. Jasyn stroked once and bit his lip when pleasure zinged through him, it was rare that he did this, most of the time when he needed release he would simply find himself a willing woman, use her and leave. Besides manhandling yourself was pretty useless in Jasyn's opinion because most times you were hard again within seconds of a release anyway. But there was no other way for Jasyn now, he wanted Emily and he doubted anyone would produce this type of need in him.

Jasyn slipped his hand down to cup the two weights that were his balls and squeezed gently; he gasped and began to stroke himself with fervour. His head was leant back against the glass of the shower door, his legs splayed wide and his toes fisting in the carpet, while his mind put he and Emily inside the shower stall. The hot water was on full and steam surrounding them while Jasyn licked the water from her breasts, her nails were like talons in his back making him moan when she scratched him. Emily was leant against the tiled wall and Jasyn placed himself between her thighs, she lifted herself, locking them around his waist so that the tip of his cock pressed against her intimately.

Jasyn, she breathed in his ear. Jasyn's strokes had increased in speed and when he came he bit down so hard on his lower lip he drew blood, Jasyn rocked his hips against his hand and milked himself dry as jet after jet spilled from him. When Jasyn opened his eyes and looked down upon himself he groaned and turned his face away. No one could believe in that moment he was filled with self-loathing and disgust, he couldn't comprehend why he would desire this woman when her people had slaughtered and brutalised his family and his race. He made him want to cry hot tears of rage, but he didn't. Jasyn cleaned himself up and dressed, his mind a jumble of chaotic and contradictory thoughts and wants.

It was his night off tonight, he usually spent it alone instead Jasyn took a night flight across town to one of those all night supermarket stores that humans visit a lot. In the shadows and darkness, away from the bright lights flooding the car park, Jasyn transformed and walked through the automatic doors. Immediately the humans around him sensed something not right by his presence, the man on the door eyed him suspiciously and though he tried to be sneaky about following Jasyn around, Jasyn spotted him a mile off. Jasyn finally found what he came for, he stopped in front of a brightly displayed section that sold flowers and cards and balloons. Jasyn began to peruse, not entirely sure what he wanted to buy. There was an old woman in an employee's outfit and a boy of about eighteen also an employee, the old woman regarded him suspiciously also but the boy was wearing headphones and had no idea what was going on. Jasyn looked at the cards and frowned, Congratulations on new born babies, new jobs, engagements and passing exams - no, he had no need of them.

Good luck in new jobs, exams, new life - certainly didn't have need of that!

Happy birthdays, happy anniversary, Valentines Day, Halloween, Fourth of July and so on. Jasyn sneered at them and moved down to cards that had more sedate pictures on them, mostly landscapes or picturesque still-life, most of them read: with deepest sympathy.

"Can I help you?"

Jasyn turned to find the old woman with steel gray curls and wire framed spectacles giving him a gimlet stare.

"Where are the sorry cards?" Jasyn asked and the woman's old face pinched up tight as if she thought he was being stupid.

"The what?" she demanded rudely and Jasyn rolled his eyes, old people who thought their age was a license to be rude.

"Sorry cards, woman!" Jasyn snapped, "you know, like birthday cards but instead it says I'm sorry!"

"Well, I expect you have a lot to apologise for in your life," the woman said and waddled off; Jasyn gaped after her, not so much because of her rudeness but more because her words were so accurate. He looked up and found that the guy with the headphones was approaching him; Jasyn sensed that the guy was scared of him and didn't try to look less threatening.

"Don't mind her she just thinks all young people need to be sterilised until they have developed a sense of morality," the guy said drolly.

"Arcadian," Jasyn sneered at the woman's retreating form and the guy frowned, "another word for Nazi," Jasyn quickly explained.

"Oh, cool," the guy said and walked his gangly, rather unsightly form over to the cards; he looked then turned to Jasyn, "all out of sorry cards. We have sympathy ones but I'm guessing you want the more grovelling kind?"

"I don't grovel," Jasyn growled, "ever!"

The guy blanched and held up his hands in surrender, hey man, I can dig that. You're sticking to your guns and all that. I just get make up sex faster if I grovel."

Jasyn raised a disbelieving eyebrow; he would have bet this guy had never had a girlfriend in his life.

"Why don't you try flowers? They work just as well."

Jasyn walked over to the flower display and looked and the variety, there were many different colours and shapes, textures and scents, Jasyn wanted to find one that would be pleasing to all the senses but one that was symbolic of what he was trying to say, he looked at the guy.

"What flower means I'm sorry?" he asked and the guy looked blank, he blinked and cleared his throat quickly.

"Well, you got lilies, but that's the kind of sorry you want to give to the dearly departed, if you get me?"

Jasyn wasn't sure that he did.

"But red roses mean I love you, I know that for sure …"

Jasyn sighed, thanked the guy quietly and stared at the bouquets of blooming red roses and white lilies, he clucked his tongue. What flower would Emily like?

Jasyn cursed at himself and grabbed the first thing he put his hand on, a single gold Calla lily, Jasyn paid for it and flashed himself back to Sanctuary and made his way to Emily's room. Jasyn approached the door which stood ajar, he was careful as always to conceal his scent, at the sound of voices he hid and listened.

"You know, I watch your show all the time?" Jasyn froze that was Sergio, a moronic hawk that had been at Sanctuary for just over six months, Jasyn could barely abide him most days and now the urge to kill him was in need of sating. All Sergio ever talked about was finding his mate and was convinced that she would be a hawk because he was a purest and didn't believe in cross-species breeding. The bastard had now set his sights on Emily and was trying to woo her into bed, Jasyn felt sick at the thought of him touching her.

"Do you?" Emily's voice sounded pleased.

"Yeah, it's truly inspiring," Sergio said oily, "I mean, I didn't know you was a Were-Hunter and I always used to think, damn, that woman has a way with animals. I mean, as a predator myself I would have been prepared to just lay down at your feet."

"Oh, erm, lovely, t-thank you," Emily responded, she sounded like she was blushing and Sergio continued to fawn.

"Well, who wouldn't?" Sergio insisted, "you are so beautiful and talented and …" he paused and Jasyn risked a look around the door frame, Sergio was brushing Emily's hair back from her head, "sexy."

Jasyn watched as Emily gave him a pretty smile that did nothing to deter the hawk's advances, in fact she let him get closer, so if she wanted she could reach out and touch his face. Jasyn let the lily drop from his hand, he was inexplicably hurt by what he was seeing and he absolutely hated himself because of it. Without waiting to hear anymore, because Sergio had practically gotten into her bed already, Jasyn flashed himself to his room. He didn't see Margie step out of the shadows by the staircase, nor did he hear the sharp crack that came from Emily's room when she slapped Sergio's face.

Margie saved the Calla lily before Sergio could stamp upon it as he rushed past, holding his cheek, Margie poked her head around the door.

"Everything alright?" she asked and Emily nodded, laying back into her pillows.

"Everything's fine now," Emily said, "that Serge guy came in here and started trying to wet his beak with the new girl."

"Yeah, he's like that," Margie laughed, "I'm glad you used initiative and slapped him one, it's the procedure we always use on him."

"Won't I get thrown out for that?" Emily asked suddenly, worried she'd broken a rule and Margie shook her head.

"Not if not seen and acknowledged," Margie explained, "and he won't bother about it. Under all that sleaze he's a bit of a sweetheart, with a good sense of humour."

Emily smiled, talking to Sergio had her wishing Jasyn had come to visit her, Emily noted the flower in Margie's hand.

"For me?" she said sweetly and Margie gave it to her.

"Not from me though," she explained and Emily raised an eyebrow at her, "I saw Jasyn hanging about outside your room, he had second thoughts about coming it apparently. Dropped the flower and left."

"Why?" Emily said sounding a little distraught, she checked herself and tried to look puzzled.

"Maybe he thought you were entertaining Sergio," Margie suggested and Emily groaned, Margie gave her leg a sympathetic rub and looked over at her bedside table, "those are cute!"

She pointed to several little Amy Brown fairy figurines, Emily looked at them dismissively still thinking on Jasyn.

"Aimee brought them in earlier," Emily explained, "she thought they would cheer me up."

"Hasn't worked then," Margie said and Emily lay down, holding the flower close to her nose, she had to admit it to herself now even if nothing came of it, she was seriously falling for Jasyn.