Above us only sky.
"Where were you just now Finn?" His head shot up at her entrance, unconsciously flinching into himself a little.
"I just…went for a walk." Finn muttered, his eyes downcast. She was going to know. She was going to look at him and see it on his face. See it clinging to his skin. See him clinging to his skin. She would know how stupid he had been. She would be disappointed.
"I know this is hard." Finn began to sweat, his head shaking on its own.
"No…" He whispered. She couldn't know. Not already. It couldn't possibly be so obvious…right?
"And I know this is going to take some time to get used to and get over." She continued, taking a seat on his bed. Finn watched her hesitantly out of the corner of his eye. He felt horrible for sweating – like the creep would seep his ugliness out of Finn's skin through his very pores.
"I just wish you would try, Finn. For me." Finn began to shake his head. "I love Burt." Wait, what? Finn's eyes widened. She didn't know. She hadn't figured it out. He was safe.
"Of course." He said quickly, anxious for her to leave. "I'm going to try. I promise."
She smiled, and for a moment, Finn thought it was worth it. "I love you." She said softly, bending down to kiss his forehead. Once she left, Finn found himself relieved. His secret was safe, for now. Everything would be fine. So long as no one found out, he could forget about it and everything would be okay. It would.
For some reason, the words sounded false even to his own ears.
…X…
"Is everyone happy with this song selection for sectionals?" Almost everyone in the room nodded or made some noise of agreement, other then two. Puck, who clearly wasn't happy with the song choice, and Finn, who was lost in his own thoughts.
Mr Schue frowned. "Finn?" He prompted, causing the boy to look up slowly. "Are you happy with the choices?"
Finn blinked, bringing himself back to the present. "What?" He said slowly. "Oh. Sure, yeah. That's fine." He said noncommittally.
"Great." Mr Schue beamed "Well here's the sheet music for the male lead." He handed the paper to Finn, who took it slowly.
Finn stared at the music for a moment, before shaking his head and looking up. "I don't want to do the male lead." He said finally, his eyes cast downwards so they didn't meet his teachers' eyes. "You should give it to Kurt."
"What?" Schue looked shocked. "Why not?" He asked.
At the same time, Rachel interrupted. "He's joking, of course." She rolled her eyes. "Very funny, Finn."
"Shut up Rachel." Finn muttered with a glare. Taken aback, the girl fell back into her seat.
"But, Finn-" She began, looking concerned.
"I said," Finn stood up quickly, his fists clenched and anger in his eyes. "Shut the fuck up. I'm not doing the lead." With that statement, he left the room, ignoring the open stares and looks of shock on his fellow glee clubbers faces.
"What did I say?" Rachel whined, a mixed look of concern and hurt on her face.
Kurt rolled his eyes. "I would have thought it was obvious." He said, glaring down imperiously at the drama queen. At Rachel's confused look, he continued. "Stop speaking for him. He can speak for himself." Kurt shook head. "Honestly, how he deals with you…"
"Kurt." Schue said sharply. "That's enough."
Kurt merely shrugged, not looking at all sorry. Schue sighed, knowing he wouldn't win this battle. "Okay guys, let's keep practicing. Puck, you can take lead for today."
"Maybe later Mr. Schue." Puck said, standing quickly. "I'm gonna check on Finn."
…X…
He didn't know why he had done it. Why he had flipped out in glee…he had been totally uncool. To Rachel, to Schue. But, for some reason, he didn't feel he should take it back. He didn't want to sing male lead anymore…it wasn't important. Not anymore.
"Finn!" He turned at the voice behind him. Puck. He really didn't want to deal with his ex-best friend's obsession right now…
"Yeah?" He said finally, meeting his eyes like nothing was wrong. Because nothing was wrong. It wasn't.
"Dude. What was that in there?" Puck asked, motioning towards the choir room.
Finn shrugged his hands falling into his pockets. "Nothing man. It was nothing."
Puck frowned. "You seemed kinda pissed at Rachel man." He raised an eyebrow. "What was that about?"
"She's annoying." Finn admitted. "And she's getting on my nerves lately. That's all."
"Okay…" Puck didn't look convinced. "She annoys the shit out of all of us. But that was still kinda harsh dude."
Finn shook his head. "I…" His eyes narrowed. "What's it to you anyway?"
Puck looked a little uncomfortable – probably remembering the last time I asked him that question…. Finn thought to himself. He would not beat him up again. He wouldn't. He was better then that.
Finally, he just shrugged. "I've said it all before Finn." He said simply, clearly unwilling for a repeat of last times' confrontation.
"I know." Finn said after a moment's silence. "I know. And…well, I believe you." He admitted.
"You mean…?" Puck probably couldn't help the hopeful expression that made its way into his face…but it still made Finn want to laugh at him a little.
"Yeah." He sighed. "It's cool. We're cool." He nodded, as if trying to convince even himself. "I'm over it."
Puck smiled. He really did have a nice smile, a lot nicer then the man's…Finn cut himself off. No. There will be no thinking about that. It never happened. Nothing is wrong. He reminded himself quickly.
"So what's up?" Oh yeah, Puck was still there.
"Nothing man. I just don't want to sing lead anymore." Finn said, shaking his head.
"You sure?" Puck frowned again. Wow, Puck must be really worried…he was never usually so persistent. If he was worried, then Finn must not have been acting as well as he had thought. Time to step it up.
He flashed him a smile. "Of course! Kurt deserves some solos, he sings better then me anyway. And the whole thing means a lot more to him then it does to me." That was partially true…it probably did mean more to Kurt, but that wasn't to say it meant nothing to Finn. No, sometimes, Glee seemed like everything. All he had.
"I guess." Puck seemed to finally be willing to let it drop. For now. Finn knew he would bring it up again another time though…he wouldn't be so lucky as to escape it fully.
"What about Rachel?" They fell in step as the bell rang, as their lockers were in the same direction. "You going to break up with her?"
The thought hit Finn quickly, making him stop. Break up with her? Could he do that? He supposed he could. But did he want to? Mentally, he made a list of pros and cons to his and Rachel's relationship. Unsurprisingly, the second list was almost four times the size of the first. Finn smiled.
"Yeah. Yeah, I think I will." That would help, he was sure of it. It might even fix everything all together he thought. A part of his mind knew this wasn't true, but a bigger part of his mind wanted to believe it was. Dump Rachel and everything will get better. Everything will work out. Somehow, he still didn't feel convinced.
…X…
Kurt was happy. He was going out with Blaine tonight, it would be perfect, and nothing and no one could bring him down.
"Hey fag!"
Well…maybe someone could.
"What do you want Karofsky." He sighed, turning to face his main tormentor.
The bully sneered and let loose another one of his oh-so-creative comments he seemed to think passed as insults. "Where's the queer team now, homo? Did they get sick of being infected by your queer-ness?"
Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Really? Are you serious Karofsky? That's the best you can come up with?" He shook his head. "You insult me by your lack of ability to insult me." He scoffed.
Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say, because less then half a second later saw the brute once again shoving him into the locker. And how this boy just oozes creativity. He felt his back ache as his spine was pressed up against the solidity of the locker, the padlock digging into his lower back. He said nothing, hoping ignoring the brute instead of baiting him might help.
It didn't.
Being after school hours, the hallways were unfortunately deserted. This gave Karofsky the perfect opportunity to practice his right hook on his favourite victim. Kurt winced as the first hit landed, jolting somewhere near his ribs. Luckily, today's episode seemed to be short, because he only received one more fist to the gut before the bully left him be.
Kurt smiled as he straightened up. He was wrong – even that couldn't ruin his good mood that day. Because Blaine asked him out. Him. Kurt didn't even lay any hints. Nothing. It was going to be amazing.
Speak of the devil, or think in this case, his phone lit up in his hand. Blaine.
"Hello?" he said quickly with baited breath.
"Hey gorgeous." Oh. My. God. Pet names, already. Kurt quickly struggled to think of something suitable.
"Hey." Or not. Kurt shook his head in an attempt to shake the nerves that had overcome him and talking to his boyfriend.
"You excited for tonight?" Blaine asked smoothly, his voice sounding perfect like always.
"Yes." Kurt answered, wincing as his voice seemed to wobble a little bit with his nerves. Why did Blaine always have to be so damn collected?
Blaine laughed softly, making Kurt blush a little. "Good to know. I just wanted to check with you, is it okay if I'm a bit early? I figure if I leave now I can be there around six thirty. Is that alright?"
"Of course." Kurt answered quickly, quelling the sense of panic that rose in him.
"Great. See you soon, Kurt."
Oh, crap. Blaine was going to be early…this would put his schedule of by half an hour! Now was the real question; to spend less time on his clothes or his hair, because one of them would have to be cut. Hair it is.
With the decision made, Kurt hurried to his car, anxious to get home and buy himself some more preparation time.
…X…
The date had been perfect. Just as Kurt imagined it. They had gone to breadsticks, and Blaine had offered to pay. They had had an easy conversation that carried through the whole meal – it turned out, they had a lot in common.
Talking to Blaine was so easy, so perfect. Kurt couldn't have asked for more.
The pinnacle of their date, however, was when Blaine kissed him goodbye at his door…
"We're here." Blaine said quietly, jerking Kurt out of his thoughts.
Kurt smiled and opening his door. He swallowed nervously; he wasn't sure if Blaine would walk him to the door or not. To his pleasant surprise, he did.
As the approached the door, Kurt found his hand encased in Blaine's. He pulled slightly, turning him towards him.
"I won't come in." Blaine said, sounding a little disappointed. "I don't want to shock your dad so soon." He flashed one of those gorgeous smiles, making Kurt melt on the spot.
"That's okay." Kurt smiled. "He would probably just interrogate you anyway…"
Kurt trailed off as he caught Blaine staring wistfully at him. He met his eyes, his nerves lighting up again..
"You are so beautiful." Blaine whispered, lust in his eyes. He took a step forward his arm sliding up higher onto Kurt's. Suddenly, before Kurt could blink, Blaine was kissing him.
His mouth was soft and warm, but not wet and sloppy like Kurt had imagined kissing to be. At first, their lips were just joined together, resting against one another's. But after a few moments, Blaine pulled him closer, his mouth opening as he did so.
Kurt found himself extremely nervous at this point – he had no clue how to do this!
Blaine forced his own mouth open and before Kurt knew what was happening there was a tongue in his mouth. Kurt pulled away sharply, panting a little.
"Blaine, I don't know…" He was cut off by a soft finger on his lips.
"Shhh." Blaine said with a smile. "Just relax. You will like it." He didn't give Kurt a chance to respond before he captured him in another kiss, this time his mouth opening straight away.
Despite still not feeling completely comfortable with this, and worrying they were moving too fast, Kurt obliged him and opened his own mouth. He closed his eyes as he let his mouth be ravaged by the more experienced teenager. Eventually, he found that it wasn't so bad – it was still weird, and a little scary, but it started to feel pretty good.
Of course, that was when Blaine pulled away – the moment Kurt began to enjoy it. Figures.
"I'll call you." Blaine whispered, before turning around and walking back to his car.
Kurt was left standing at the door, shell-shocked, for several long moments before he too turned and entered his house.
Kurt shivered as he remembered the scene, smiling slightly. It had been nice. Blaine was very good looking - he was stupid to have hesitated like he did.
"I'm such an idiot." Kurt muttered, shaking his head as he lay down on his bed. "I shouldn't have tried to tell him I wasn't ready. I enjoyed it, didn't I?"
Eventually…
His brain supplied, making him cringe a little. So it had been a little weird, and more then a little scary. And very, very fast. But the date had been perfect. The night had been perfect.
Perfect.
You just keep telling yourself that…
Kurt growled, mentally telling himself to shut up. He liked Blaine, and the date had been perfect…right?