Chapter THREE
Grown-Up Pinky PROMISES
Natasha Romanoff can't sleep.
She's been lying in bed the whole time, staring at the inky darkness only illuminated by numerous lights only New York buildings could give. It gave the city an orange and white glow amidst the darkness, noise amidst the silence, and that's why Natasha likes turning to the side where the huge window of her room was located. To remind her she's not alone. Fury's certainly outdone himself this time Natasha thought bitterly as she recalled her previous meeting with the furious Director Nick Fury:
"That god isn't to be trusted, Agent Romanoff. Now, these scientists built a machine that will forever erase his existence. In Norse Mythology books, in people's minds and finally, HE will be gone. This is one of a kind, Agent Romanoff. Loki can be our guinea pig for this little…experiment" Fury spoke evenly. Natasha's eyes dilated, and she said "are you telling me I will somewhat betray the Avengers and make Loki think I'm helping him escape…just to erase his existence? After that, what happens to me? Forever marked as the Avenger who betrayed her teammates and possibly the whole country?" Fury chuckles and he said "where is your loyalty, Romanoff?"
Natasha spoke lowly "this isn't about loyalty, Fury, this is about the good of all American citizens. Won't they think that this whole experiment will be the Avengers' betrayal? This will cause panic. This will cause mayhem, media, propaganda" Fury said "so be it. This mission is to erase his existence, once the people know what we've done, there will be none of that" "and the Asgardians?" that silenced Fury. Natasha doesn't know why she's so eager to get out of this mission. Fury said "we'll deal with the consequences later. Now it's either you accept this mission or you don't."
What about Clint? Natasha thought to herself, and thought of everybody in the Avenger: giving her seething looks, eyes shining with betrayal.
"I accept"
Natasha's own words haunted her, as she looked at the digital clock atop her bedside table. 1:52 am it read. In less than a few hours, she had to go to Loki's cell, and promise escape. Hours after that, she'll have to break him out of there, and then they run somewhere off. The site for the machine Erase Version 1.7 was in Orlando, Florida, which is a relatively long drive from New York. Although, since it is an escape, Natasha would have to prolong their drive even further, so instead of twenty hours it would become even longer. For added effect, somewhere in their drive some SHIELD agents would just pop out of nowhere and begin attacking. Natasha groaned, and stood up. Pulling on some sweatpants and a hoodie, maybe it was best if she began to tell Loki of her "grand plan." The sooner she does this, the faster Loki's existence would be erased from all of the Nine Realms, and the faster she could escape.
She bit her lip hard on that statement itself.
Walking out of her room and riding the elevator down to Loki's cell, she was surprised to find Loki awake. He sat on the floor –that looked undoubtedly cold—with his back turned, so Natasha walked soundlessly. "Can't sleep?" Natasha whispered, in the softest voice she could muster for the man she hated. Loki jumped slightly, before turning around, face morphed into a half-hearted glare. Natasha sat on the floor next to Loki's cell, and placed a gentle hand on the glass, staring straight into Loki's emerald eyes. Loki looked surprised by the action, so he didn't do or say anything. Natasha wanted to scream, wanted to shout that this was all just a façade, but she couldn't. She couldn't compromise this mission, as she was already walking on fragile ice. Natasha looked down onto the floor, and whispered "I'm sorry for what I did…earlier. It was unbecoming. It wasn't professional" she can almost feel the shock in Loki.
Loki doesn't know how to react, so he uses his usual tactic and sneers "don't apologize to me, mortal. You are all beneath me, and when I have my powers returned back, I'll waste no time in getting my revenge." Natasha wants to punch Loki really hard in the eye, but she knows she can't blow her cover. Instead she wears a look of determination and gently speaks "stop this Loki. Stop pushing everyone away. Is…this why you became this way? Is this why you still reject the love of your parents…of Thor? They…care for you Loki, and now I realize my mistake and I want to say sorry" Loki doesn't speak. He doesn't do anything except let his eyes widen. "What's with the sudden change, Romanoff. Why are you apologizing to me, of all people" and Loki turns around. Natasha bites her lip, and pretends to tear up, making her voice waver "I saw myself in you, Loki. I don't know how or why in the world but I did. Damn it." At that, Loki bristles. Loki shouts "what could you possibly see in me that's in you? I'm a monster, Agent Romanoff. I spilled so much blood than you ever had and I do it because it satisfies me and I wish it didn't."
This surprised Natasha. With a few simple words, she was able to make Loki open up in a way that was terrifying yet so raw and so exposed. Natasha speaks with a hushed voice "you don't know how much blood I've spilled, Loki. Clint may have revealed a lot to you but it's so much more different in my perspective. I killed regardless of who they were. I've heard children scream just before I stuck my blade into their hearts. I've seen parents beg before I pulled the trigger. I know how this all feels, Loki. I know. I'm sorry for giving you such a harsh reminder of what happened. What you felt is exactly how I felt. I'm sorry." The silence suffocates them both, but Loki finally whispers "are you jesting me, Agent Romanoff? Are all these words sincere?" the pain in his voice shocks Natasha, but she wants to shout.
Yes! Natasha wants to howl This is all one big trap and you're going to die! I'm going to be there, watching you writhe and scream and be erased from all of the Nine Realms. I'm leading you to your very death!
A cruel laugh almost erupts from Natasha's mouth, but she holds it in. Because Loki can't see, she smiles sardonically, but her words are soft and caring. The words interloped by imaginary pieces of thread that form coherent –deceitful—sentences tumble out of her mouth:
"I mean every word, Loki. I mean every single damn word."
When Natasha was younger, she always wondered how grown-ups did their pinky promises. Now she knew. When there is a promise, there will always be betrayal. They usually ended up with severed pinkies.