Chapter 17

"Father!"

It all happened so fast, Len heard his mother's sudden cry. The hair of his back roused as gooseflesh ran down his skin. The place suddenly created ice that shivered him, froze him on his place, even turning his head was difficult. He gulped, knowing fully well something bad had happened, and he was a part of it.

He felt a hard nudge at his side, making him incline on the door as the other occupants of the room wasted no time to rush out. His peripheral vision caught a glimpse of his grandfather, the sight simply held the pulse of his heart. It was ethereal; the scene that had happened when he was a child returned and haunted him.

The painful grimace his grandfather showed him, the attempt of his father to held the old man that life starting to vanish, his mother's agonizing weep for his grandfather, the worry, so dense, from every house helpers rushing to tend them, and the look of his real father—longing but worried, confused and battling for choice. He saw the man glanced at his grandfather and back at him. The man gave a nod, seeking for his understanding, asking for a second chance as Len knew the man needed to help whom was in need—for now, his grandfather needed most of the attention. Len didn't respond, his eyes blank and in the depth of grief. He felt numbed of other pain.

A bitter thump roared in his chest, guilt marred his conscience. He closed his eyes, memories flashing in his eyes, the present predicament blending with his past, simply adding more acrimony within him. It was like a poison, the guilt and old memories made good bile to destroy his system.

The sudden feel of loneliness didn't help either. Sounds muffled, however he could still hear the faint sound from downstairs, everyone in panic as the head of the house was at risk. He was alone. The person who aid to him whenever his lonely was downstairs, dying because of him. His eyes closed tightly, breathing labored, he tried closing every senses he has, and he attempted ignoring everything for thinking it would cease the ache within.

"Len…"

He heard someone call, but he didn't respond, he didn't move, his eyes kept closed and unyielding.

He felt arms enclosed around his waist, the warmth of another person soothed him lightly, and the hands on his back giving delicate caresses to console him, to assure him everything would be fine.

"Len…please."

The lady-like voice, finally, he recognized, he opened his eyes, blinking the dark spot due from closing his eyes tightly. He encased her little frame within his arms, pulling her closer as if seeking for comfort. Len laid his head on her shoulder, breathing starting to calm and allowing himself to be filled with her presence.

"It's my fault…" he avowed achingly.

~NeKo Meow~

"Ryoutarou just called, Mr. Shouzaburou is far from danger now. It was only because of stress." Manami entered the living room, looking as Kahoko heaved a deep exhale.

"I'm going to inform Len." Kahoko smiled, the news brightened her face.

Manami simply nodded at her direction with a small smile. Despite of the fact that the old man was far from danger already, she couldn't take away the worry in her mind. Heart illnesses are very traitorous. The old man could be fine now but how about next time. He was old, and very susceptible of complications. Manami sighed, muttering a small prayer.

Kahoko went upstairs; the news might help the lad ease a bit. He had been forsaken himself the whole time. Kahoko couldn't blame him as he had encountered too much that he could handle, one was enough—to know that he has a father and he wanted to take him away. But it didn't go well, after the surprising news, his grandfather—in which Kahoko knew well, Len trusted so much—got heart attack, causing the lad to think it was yet another of his fault.

Kahoko felt the same; she knew how it hurts to see the people whom you loved in harm. With an audible exhale, Kahoko knocked. She waited until the knob turned and a man, who seemed finer than earlier, greeted her with his blank stare. Kahoko smiled, inviting herself inside the room without the lad's consent.

"Mr. Shouzaburou is ok now."

"Hn."

"What's with that reaction? Aren't you happy he's ok now?"

"It wouldn't happen if it's not because of me."

"You didn't do anything! How many times do I have to tell you? It's not your fault. No one's fault, period."

"It—"

"You know what? Mr. Shouzaburou would be much happier if you visit him. And I assure you, he'll never tell that you're at fault. If you tell him, you'll just get scolded."

"I don't feel like going anywhere. Would you mind, I want to be alone." Len sat on his bed and exhaled.

"Stop doing that depressing sigh." Kahoko pouted, strode to his direction and leaned. "Stop being emo, let's go, Mr. Shouzaburou is waiting," she said before hitting his forehead.

The lad grumbled, glaring afterwards. "No."

"We will." Kahoko marched to where his cabinet was, opening the said compartment to get his things. "So…what do you want to wear?"

"I can do it on my own."

~NeKo Meow~

"Len," Mr. Shouzaburou mumbled. His face unusually hit with paleness, his eyes looked somnolent and dull. A faint glow glimmered only when he saw his grandson.

Len didn't talk but simply approached his grandfather, he didn't voice the ache and remorse inside of him—the feeling of guilt and shame that keeping his presence distant despite of their reachable expanse. "I-I'm sorry," his lips mouthed.

"Don't be." Mr. Shouzaburou shook his head. "Don't be. It's not your fault, it never been your fault. You're just trapped in a situation you should not be in."

"Grandfather."

"I'm sorry, Len. I should have consulted you first. I have said you're old enough to understand. Nonetheless, I have taken your freedom to decide for yourself. I'm giving you now the wisdom to act for yourself and whatever your decision is, we will respect it. All I want is for your welfare, Len. Don't think that I'm trying to let go of you If even possible, I'd like you to be in my ward, however, there is a person who has more authority to be with you. I've never been against on it as well. I know you'll be safe with him. Everyone deserves a second chance. Len, I want you to understand, that there is always a time that you have to break the wall you formed. Try to see other people in a different way. You'll only know it when you give them a chance"

Give him a chance. Len clenched his fist, drowning his mind with thoughts. Would he be able to return his feelings when he was just a child—the long for a father he never knew the desire to experience love by a real parent, and to imagine how it looks to be by his side, as a son and not a stranger?

He wanted it before. Would it be like tidal waves crashing the wall he formed?

"Mr. Shou—" the nurse opened the door with Kahoko behind her. "It's time for your medicine and checkup."

Mr. Shouzaburou nodded to his grandson. Len stood up and bade to leave, Kahoko following him.

He stopped, eyes widened in a fracture of time before it subsided.

"I'll just wait outside." The man smiled awkwardly, turning around.

Kahoko looked at the man and back to Len, a knowing glint showed in her eyes. She nudged Len out, smiling. "You need to talk," she muttered before closing the door.

"Hi—"

"Looks like we have to wait," the man muttered, sitting on the bench beside the door.

Len thinned his lips, and casually ambled to the opposite side.

"Aren't you going to sit?"

Len didn't respond and looked away. Would I ever…?

"It might take a while, why don't you sit, there's still a space."

…be able to give him a chance? Len sighed. "I'm fine."

The man didn't talk more, his eyes fixated to the boy just in front of him, scrutinizing his expression.

Len looked back, feeling someone staring at him. He felt uneasy but it all changed into surprise when his eyes met his. "Are you all—" he paused. Why am I concern?

"I'm sorry." The man chuckled. "You're so much alike your mother. I'm just wondering if you got something from me, or do we have anything in common. It's just curiosity. Father's instinct, the feeling that your son gets or learns something from you is our joy. Well, I'm not even sure if that will still happen. To be honest, I want it to. I want to experience to be a father to you. I longed for it after I learned of your existence." He sighed closing his eyes to ease the sting of tears grazing the brim of his eyes. His lips quirked into a small smile and said, "I'm just happy I finally met you."

"Le—" Kahoko paused, continuing only when Mr. Tsukimori nodded his head. "I'm going home now, are you coming?"

"Hn." Len inhaled, realizing he held his breath for a moment.

"Anyway," Mr. Tsukimori stood. "I hope we can talk some other time, Len." He smiled to Kahoko as he strode into Mr. Shouzaburou's room.

Kahoko smiled back before she walked towards Len. "You're so lucky. You still have your father." She commented walking away.

"What do you mean?"

"Silly." She chuckled. "Even though you've been separated for so long, you still have the chance to be with him. What you've been wanting before, if ever you do, can still come true. You only need to do is to accept and try. Say, what if, after we return to the mansion, why don't you talk to your father again and reconcile?"

~NeKo Meow~

It has been three days since they returned to the Mansion from their trip to the beach. Mr. Shouzaburou's health was doing fine; he was admitted out of the hospital with some precaution from the doctor that he should rest more often and never tire himself.

A little knock on the door, hauled Mr. Shouzaburou away from his thought. He didn't move from his bed and only voice a small 'come in'. He heard the door knob turned.

"Grandfather, would it be fine to talk to you for a while?"

"Sure, come in, Len."

"I just want to ask…" he hesitated.

"Yes?"

"About…M-Mr. Tsukimori."

Mr. Shouzaburou smiled, patting the bed for Len to sit beside him. "Do you want to talk to him?"

Len only nodded.

"You know, Len, son. Whatever your decision, I'll respect it. It is your choice and I'll be happy for you."

~NeKo Meow~

"You're back." Kahoko jumped from her room towards the terrace.

"Hn."

She smiled and looked at the night sky above. She pouted afterwards when she failed to see the stars. "Such a dull sky," she mumbled.

"Did you say something?"

"Ah, nothing. By the bye, how's your meeting with your father?" she shook her head, smiling embarrassingly for catching off guard.

"It's fine. We talked about mother and some stuffs."

"So, is it a good thing?" Kahoko peered, looking as the lad's expression softened. It calmed her in some extent, but something within her lingered discomfort. I should be happy, right?

"He asked me to come with him."

Kahoko's breath hitched, stretching her arms to hide her reaction. "That's nice." She looked away. "That'll be a great opportunity. Have you told it to Mr. Shouzaburou?"

He nodded. "He said he'll be happy for me whatever decision I make."

"Hmm…" Kahoko paused, reluctant to continue but a part of her wanted to know what his answer was. She didn't want to hear the news from anyone but him, only him, may it be good or bad. "So, are you?" she looked at him. Her eyes uncertain as possibilities battled one another. Are you going to leave?

Authoress' Notice:

For now, Chapters one and two are the only beta edited. I was planning to make the new update before uploading all the old chapters, but I think it'll be longer before I update the new one so, since some of you are looking for the other old chapters, I just reupload it. Read: Not beta edited yet.