*I don't not own Twilight…nor am I Stephanie Meyer*

Chapter songs:

- All Around Me: Flyleaf

-Stay with Me: You Me At Six

-Dizzy: Jimmy Eat World

This chapter will contain flashbacks from the previous chapter so that you don't have to go back and read the last chapter again…seeing as it has been so long… and that I was kind of blanking…so I did what I could to get the chapter out.

Previously on Kill Me and I'll save you

My behavior around Rosalie was less than acceptable, but I think I felt it my responsibility to take care of this myself. I knew that she was deterred. And I had hoped that would happen. I needed her out of that way so that I could work on myself. I didn't need her trying to counsel me into thinking that I could go veggie and live this amazing life without any kind of consequences. It just wasn't that easy.

My thoughts were more conflicted than usual, and it was all because of this human.

They would bring you together and tear you apart.

It just depended on how you let them in. I needed to deal with this Cullen situation on my own, but I couldn't kill them. Any of them.

Carlisle had been my father and my mentor for years before I went rogue, but he raised me, in more ways than one and I owed him at least. But the rest of the family. They didn't deserve to suffer either. This whole conundrum was going to do my head in.

God help me if I was going to figure this out.

***

APOV

What Rosalie was thinking going to see Edward I have no idea. She knew just how dangerous he was and he is so very strong, no matter how much she tries to deny it.

Whatever persuaded her to even go anywhere near him is completely beyond me, she knows that he would kill her if he got the chance, the fact that he let her go is a miracle, I wouldn't have thought that he would do that.

She hasn't told me what went on, and whether she got to tell him what she wanted to say to him. I know that she found him… and I know that she tried to speak to him, but whether she got across the message that she was trying to convey, I've not a clue.

She got home about three hours after I had seen her while at the hospital with Bella, but she went straight to her room and locked the door. Not that a simple human lock would deter me but it's the principle behind the matter.

It says:

"If you were human this lock would stop you, so play human and leave me the hell alone"

So I've decided to respect her wishes and leave her alone... for now.

RPOV

I was sitting in my room contemplating the events of the day. A day that I had imagined would have gone either so much better, or so much worse. That's what scarred me the most; of all the things that could have happened today. I got stuck with the middle stick…again.

"Go on, I won't give you another chance, and I wouldn't let just anyone go, but your hot and so is that little sister of yours… so get gone, and don't bother me again, or I won't be so lenient.

He could have killed me and used me as kindling to his fire that night. He could have just listened to what I had to tell him, and he could be here talking to my family and fixing the past. But no…he let me go, to come home and feel even more ashamed of myself than I already did. This was my mission. Bella is like a daughter to me, and this was the one thing that I was going to do for her. But alas, I had failed once again.

"You should be worried, by the time im done with her; there won't be anything to worry about"

I felt a shiver run down my spine at the memory of his vicious words. The whole thing had been a bit of a disaster…what was I thinking.

Edward wasn't just some kind of…monster…, there was subtle conflict in his eyes, not one that said, do I kill her quickly or do I slowly drain her drop by drop… it was more of a 'I don't know if I want to do this at all vs. quick fix and move onto the next victim.'

Is this theory proved in him letting me go? Or is he just the laziest vampire on the planet. I personally want to believe the former.

Carlisle had told Emmet and I about him to a greater extent when we were out looking for him. Emmett looked uncomfortable. Carlisle was morose and depressed. I was listening intently.

"He was a good human and a good vampire…the right morals… no excessive need for blood…nothing more than any of us need.

He learnt how to feed quickly, and he learnt how to hunt even quicker… the tracking came later…but as more of a advantage…and I had no cause for concern.

When he told me that he was leaving in search for something that felt more natural, I was heartbroken, I thought he might take after me, and be perfectly content in just staying vegetarian and looking after the human race rather than preying on them. I guess I was wrong.

He packed up all his stuff saying that he was going to move to Alaska for a while…perhaps find some 'real vampires'. Rather than just one that pretends to be a vampire.

I yelled at him saying that there was nothing good about being a vampire…and that he needed to fight the urge, because it was going to get him killed. He laughed me off saying that the humans were the ones that were going to be killed not him.

I would have cried if I could have.

The vampire that I had raised was nothing like the monster that was leaving me on my own doorstep. He was like a son to me. I raised him through his first year as a vampire…I thought I had taught him to be a good vampire. The way that we are now."

"how long was he with you" I asked.

"he was with me for 6 years."

"What happened next" I was becoming more and more interested in the full story. It gave me insight into what Edward might be thinking. And perhaps make it easier to find him.

"I sent the next year looking all over Alaska and areas alike…trying to find him and convince him to come back. But I never found him so I came back to forks. Perhaps hoping that her would see the error in his ways and come back to me anyway. But alas he did not.

Then one day I went strolling through the woods looking for something more appetizing…and perhaps harder to hunt so that it would take away the plaguing thoughts of Edward out of my mind.

That's when I found Esme. She was so beautiful… and I couldn't let her die. And you know the rest of that story.

But I think the fact that I was so glad and eager to jump at the chance of changing Esme is mainly because I was lonely. I missed Edward… he made eternity easy… and when he was gone time went on forever (no pun intended) I had to find something to take my mind off of Edward, and I was fortunate to find her. She saved my life…in one way or another."

We hadn't said anything else. We just ran in silence. Examining everything and hunting Edward down. Evidently not finding anything.

***

There was a slight knock on the door, followed by my name… it was so quiet that I thought I might not have even heard it.

Knock. Knock.

"Rosalie"

"oh just come in already Alice" after some careful thinking I knew that it had to be her, the only other person that knocks like that is Esme and Bella and neither of them are here.

"I must say Alice. Knocking is completely out of characteristic for you" I said with a small smile on my face.

"Oh shut up rose, this is my attempt at being understanding"

"ALICE, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL HER THAT YOU'RE TRYING TO BE UNDERSTANDING!" I heard Jasper say from downstairs.

Laughing I turned to Alice and smiled at her. "What do you want Alice?"

"I… I just wanted to know what happened today" she sighed… I knew that no matter how nosy she was…she always had people best interests at heart.

I felt my face soften as I thought about the day that had passed. Could I blame her for wanting to know what happened? No…I'd b just as nosy.

"I…I don't really know Alice… it's tough to explain." I said regrettably.

"How about you just try? I need to know what happened rose, both for my own curiosity and Bella." I gasped.

I had completely forgotten about Bella. She needed me, I was out there doing this for her, and yet I was being so selfish about the outcome.

"You should be worried, by the time im done with her; there won't be anything to worry about"

I sighed and began retelling the story of what went on this morning, beginning to end.

(You don't have to read this if you don't want to, just an excerpt from the last chapter)

I was getting so close now; I could smell the blood of the poor human girl that he was feeding off. It was no doubt that he had flirted and seduced her before he made his move. It made me sick. But I kind of envied him in a way. He had a freedom that was untouchable…that was until Bella came.

I had abandoned my car a while back, opting for foot. That would seem a less harsh way to come at him, not at an offensive view but at something that showed I meant no harm. God I felt like I was approaching an alien.

There could only have been about 25 metres between me and Edward now, a distance at which he could surly tell that I was near. And he had to have smelt me. He had come in contact with me and family more than once. He had to have familiarized my scent by now.

My creeping around the trees had slowed, and I was trying to be more careful than I had planned to be. I had no idea what kind of situation I would find him in.

I was closing in on him so quickly I must not have been going as slow as I thought I was. I crept up behind a tree that sat about 2 metres away from where Edward was draining his victim.

I decided that I was going to have to make the first move if I didn't want to be attacked prematurely. I would have an advantage as he was still distracted by his dinner.

She was gorgeous. Tall, brunette, squared jaw, high cheek bones. She was dressed in a tight little black dress and 5 inch black peep toes. She had a light shading of makeup decorating the top of her eyes and a small line of eyeliner finishing it off. I may have envied her in the human world, but I knew that she could not compare to my supernatural beauty, vain that may be, it was true.

I took this as my chance to make my presence known and stepped out from behind the tree.

"You know, though a deer is not nearly as satisfying as human, it doesn't leave such a taint on your soul, or your breath for that matter." I said, trying to be as light as possible in the opening of what could eventually be a conversation. I didn't want to push the important things onto him too quickly. I was going to have to be careful. Just as Bella had said. I owed her that much.

His head snapped up from the limp human girl's body so fast that even I was stunned, human blood, I realized to myself.

"What are you doing here? How did you find me?" his questioning was met with a rough guttural growl from his chest as he started to come towards me. I backed up trying to appear as defenseless as possible..

"What are you doing here!" he shouted right in my face. I would have normally expected him to be at my throat by now, but as was shown in the fight with the family not three weeks ago, it was quite obvious that he was different from others.

"I, I, I was worried…" I stuttered. I was more afraid than I anticipated. How Bella stood up to him was amazing.

"You were worried? What on earth could you have to be worried about here? Well apart from me?" he had a point, I hadn't exactly planned out how I was going to tell him about Bella and asking him about what he felt etc, I had thought it would just come out when it was important.

"I was worried about Bella" I said truthfully, figuring that was the best way to approach it.

"You should be worried, by the time im done with her, there wont be anything to worry about" he said menacingly.

"Are you sure? She was in a coma, she was out of it for two weeks, does this not affect you in the slightest?" I watched his eyes, looking for the smallest hint or flicker of emotion. There was nothing.

"Oh im sorry…" he said unremorsefully "did I put your little human sister in the hospital?" he said this all with a mocking quality to his voice.

It was then that I realized that I was in trouble. I had fucked up big time. He felt no remorse for what he did, let alone to Bella. I was foolish to think that I could come out here and talk to him and convince that he could change and that if he did, he could be with Bella, and that she would be okay around him etc. but what I thought I had seen was just a reflection of my imagination.

I had been unbelievably foolish and now I was going to truly die.

But what surprised me the most was when he stood back and held his arm up as if to offer me a passage in front of him.

"Go on, I won't give you another chance, and I wouldn't let just anyone go, but your hot and so is that little sister of yours so get gone, and don't bother me again, or I won't be so lenient. And don't worry, I have no plans to bother your family again…your too much damn work for me, I need an easy meal." and he grinned menacingly as I took his offer and sprinted in the other direction.

When I finished retelling my story I lifted my head to see not just Alice sitting on my bed, but Esme, Carlisle Emmett and Jasper all standing either by the door or just inside the room.

I could see that Esme wanted to cry, she would have if she could… Alice looked sympathetic…but her eyes… they displayed something not so understanding. Something a little more hostile… something even a little bit psychotic.

Emmett looked furious, and Carlisle looked more morose than ever, I think he was seeing what his son had finally become. He was realizing that he has lost him forever, lost him to the blood lust… the overbearing strength and amazing feeling that human blood provides. He was mentally weak…that's all that proved.

"Well…judging by what we all just heard… he's vulnerable…and unsure…he wants to pursue Bella but yet it is almost too hard for him to stay away. I personally think that he's going to come back" Jasper was looking around the room to gauge everyone else's opinions on what they thought that Edward's next move might be.

"Jasper's right…I think that Edward will not give up until this urge that he seems to have is gone… he seems easily irritable." Alice said motioning about towards jasper and looking at everyone as well.

"We need to find him… before he finds Bella"

Before we knew it everyone was screaming and yelling trying to get their opinion in about how to proceed…but we all agreed on one thing…he had to be stopped.

Oh man you guys have no idea just how sorry I am that this update took so damn long. School has just been SOOOOO hectic. I started year 11 or my junior year this year and I just have to say that you can blame my having not updated…on them XD but the good news comes now. I'm on holidays and completely free to do nothing for the next 2 weeks, so even though you may not get a chapter every day, I will be writing/ perhaps reading all the time and so I will just have a gazillion chapters to play with.

Another reason why this might all take a bit longer than anticipated is that rather than just writing them now im trying to get them right. Rather than just putting down any old thing.

You guys have no idea how bad I feel that I have taken so long. So this is my apology…in a way.

I need you guys help for one thing though, my story has kind of gone off on a tangent and I have no idea where I want to go. I know my final destination…but achieving it has proved more difficult that I could have planned. So I need you guys to give me a hand and tell me where you think this should go…ideas for the next chapter and things like that. This has essentially become a readers decide story XD

I love you all so much you have no idea, the fact that I am still getting people reading this even though I haven't updated in MONTHS gets me giddy.

Enough of my time and word consuming ramble and on with the chapter.

PS. 1 review for the last chapter…what going on here?