Emily arched a brow at Jasyn as he swooped through the trees, doing a cocky dive before pulling up and darting upwards, his huge hawk form was silhouetted against the full fat cheese moon that was rising over the bayou. Jasyn flew back to her and transformed in mid air, landing naked in a crouch, he casually manifested clothes on his body as he straightened.

"I told you I can fly at night," Emily groused, rolling her eyes at him, Jasyn rolled his eyes back before he came forward.

"You may be able to get in the air, babe, but that doesn't mean you can fly."

Emily gave him a dirty look which Jasyn laughed at.

"Well, show me," Jasyn challenged, Emily glanced at him.

"No, you'll laugh," she said almost petulantly, though she was secretly very worried about making an ass of herself in front of him.

"Only if you fall flat on your face," Jasyn said sincerely, Emily couldn't help but chuckle. Emily walked forward and prepared to take her hawk form, she glanced at him and saw him watching expectantly, Emily faced the water and inhaled deeply hoping she didn't completely balls it up. She willed her hawk side to come out, it wasn't hard to do. Emily compared it to the start of a horse race; the horses in their stalls knew they had to run when the stall doors opened and so they ran. When Emily called her hawk, she came. Simple.

Emily shook her feathers and took flight, soaring above the treetops and looking down on the magical and somewhat mystical terrain of the Louisiana Bayou. In the day it wasn't something that Emily was particularly fond of, though she had visited once or twice to catalogue the different creatures that made their home there. But at night under the moonlight it looked utterly captivating; Emily's hawk eyes tracked the path of an alligator as it sidled through the water. Her hawk sight was so strong she could have counted the humps on its back if she wanted to, but she flew too low over the tree tops and a stray branch caught her foot. She wobbled a bit then made her landing, luckily she'd recovered her grace and landed promptly and upright, she transformed in front of Jasyn in a crouch.

"Why aren't you getting up?" Jasyn said, amusement in his voice that made her sure he had seen her bobble it over the trees. Emily ground her teeth but refused to show her mortification, she raised her head and he was smiling manically, she felt the breeze hit her bare butt.

"I don't know how to make clothes appear yet," Emily said primly and Jasyn roared with laughter, taking his good sweet time about flashing some denim on her naked ass. Emily stood up with dignity and brushed her palms, she gave him an are-you-quite-finished kind of look which only seemed to amuse him more.

"Let's take a break," he said, his hand lifted casually towards his face, perhaps to scratch his nose, he suddenly froze. He became so completely still that not even that raised hand trembled as most people's are wont to do, Emily followed his lead feeling her heart rate begin to pick up. Out of the darkness a bird took flight noisily from the trees making Emily jump, Jasyn's head snapped about and his sharp eyes followed its course across the moon's face. As if someone had used a remote to un-pause him, Jasyn moved his hand to his cheek where he scratched his stubble with a rough, rasping noise as if noting had occurred.

"What was all that about?" Emily asked still looking at the tree the bird had vacated, Jasyn shrugged carelessly, Emily made a frustrated noise. "Do you have to be evasive about everything?"

"I must be on my guard at all times," Jasyn answered tonelessly and lowered himself to the ground, Emily twitched her head, watching him was like watching water flow - elegant and natural.

"Why?" Emily said and plonked herself down beside him; she crossed her stretched legs at the ankle and braced herself back on her stiffened arms.

"Why what?" Jasyn murmured distractedly, his restless eyes forever moving.

"Why must you always be on your guard? Why can't you let your hair down?"

She reached up and made to flick at his soft, platinum strands, he moved faster then light and caught her wrist, his green eyes slashed to hers and Emily knew she had been warned off. Feeling stupidly hurt but not willing to show it, she shrugged indifferently and pulled her herself from his grip.

"Can you really be asking me that after the other night?" Jasyn asked sarcastically, he and Emily had respectfully and silently agreed not to talk about the events of Halloween night, from their kisses all the way up until she had accused him of murdering her family. Jasyn knew Emily's inquisitive nature wouldn't be repressed for long and knew she would begin to pry and poke into what happened, she had been delicately skirting the issue for the last hour.

"Why is Arion after you?" Emily held her breath, praying he would not evade the question. She had been building up the courage to ask him about Arion and what happened between them on Halloween. Last night while they both sat so calmly together in the surgery Emily could not make herself break the comfort between them. Then she went and did just that by asking him whether or not he wanted kids.

"I am a slayer - or so I'm told," Jasyn answered with a shrug, "I have a bounty on my head so huge I can practically feel it bending my spine in half."

Jasyn's voice was somewhat wistful and distracted as he said this, his eyes focusing on the scene before him intensely. Yet Emily spied in his face a sense of enjoyment at simply watching the wind play in the tree tops and the moon shine on the water.

"Is that why you're at Sanctuary?" Emily asked tentatively.

"I suppose so."

"Well, you either are or you aren't, its not a difficult question," Emily retorted sharply, Jasyn slid a sideways glance at her and Emily pressed her lips together, knowing that her mouth was one day going to lead to her extinction.

"I'm there for that. I'm there because even creatures like me want a night where they do not fear their enemy's knife in their back."

"Lucky you," Emily muttered contemptuously and Jasyn arched a brow, Emily gave a half grimace half smile before explaining. "I still have enemies there."

"I said I slept without fear of being killed, I did not say that I didn't have enemies," Jasyn retorted snappishly. Emily sat in thoughtful silence for a moment watching his perfect, granite hard face awash in cold moonlight, she scrutinised it and only saw more mystery.

"But most of them are Katagari, you're a hero," Emily said with something akin to encouragement in her voice, Jasyn gave a soft disdainful snort.

"Oh, you are young," he laughed heartily, though Emily noticed the absence of mirth and the swell of bitterness and she was at a loss for something sarcastic to say.

"Can I tell you something?" he said suddenly, his eyes wide and conspiratorial.

Jasyn leaned back on his elbow so their faces were close and their eyes connected. Emily did not feel the electrifying arousal that Jasyn normally produced in her, but the excitement of his imparting knowledge unto her, she leant in greedily soaking his words up like a sponge.

"Betrayal can come on all sides, Sartas, from the most unexpected places," Jasyn said softly, he tucked a strand of Emily's hair behind her ear like he was a father telling his child a bedtime story. "I will die one day, perhaps in the near future and it could be from either an Arcadian or a Katagari. Do you want to know why? Because everyone has a price … hmm? Every friend can become an enemy, every stranger a threat, every shadow a spy. The Arcadians kill me because I kill them, because I'm a slayer and so on and so forth. But the Katagaria? They will kill me because I am trouble, because they believe me to be a slayer as well, because in their seedy little minds they know me to be a threat to everyone - to their power, their lives."

"I don't understand -" Emily began but Jasyn cut her over swiftly.

"I am a threat to everyone … They cannot live with something like me in the world, knowing I can't be controlled."

Emily was frowning hard as she stared intently into his serious face, "And what are you exactly?"

"A slayer."

"But what is that?"

Jasyn looked thoughtful for a moment then leant back and Emily would have given her right arm to know what he was thinking, he gave her a drolly grave look if you can imagine, before answering.

"I kill indiscriminately and without mercy," he answered apathetically, he didn't say it but Emily could almost hear his voice adding 'so they say' sarcastically on the end of that sentence.

"But you're kind to me," Emily said, rallying diffidently to his defence and Jasyn snorted derisively.

"No, I'm not."

Emily blinked then thought hard again, "but I thought only humans were untrustworthy?"

Jasyn gave her a strange look, a surveying, appraising look before answering. "Trust no one, Emily. Not a soul."

Silence bled between them and Emily felt her mind wandering over the things that Arion had told her, things that she was now certain didn't hold as much truth as she had initially thought. Taking a deep breath Emily got ready to start questioning again.

"Arion said you were a child-killer," Emily repeated her words from Halloween night, she almost winced at how stupid they sounded now, she did not believe even Jasyn, with all his faults, could be so cruel.

Jasyn blew out a tired breath and pulled his knees up and leant his forearms on them, he did not look at Emily when he spoke.

"It wasn't like that," he murmured with anguish lacing his voice, "it just wasn't like that. It wasn't that simple. Not that clear cut, not black and white. Just not that damn simple!"

Emily wanted to lay a comforting hand on his tight, tense shoulder but did not, he wouldn't accept it.

"I was lucky enough to know my parents until just before I hit puberty," Jasyn said matter of factly, "they were slaughtered by a clan of Arcadian hawks hell bent on revenge for the murder of their Regis. My brother had killed him. I never found out why."

Emily's nails cut into her palms as she listened, she dared not breathe too loudly for disturbing his thoughts.

"My mother got me out and hid me with her family but she died soon after because she was bonded to my father."

Emily nodded, Jasyn had explained to her what bonding was, she had melted on the spot at the thought of a man loving you enough to want to die with you.

"I went through puberty in the care of my mother's sister and her mate, they were kind to me but the years of losing their children to the war had hardened them to a point where affection was not shown. Then one day they died too."

"How?" Emily breathed, her eyes wide and eloquent with sympathy that Jasyn could not look at her, he felt her need to touch him and prayed that she would not.

"Silly really," Jasyn huffed out, "my aunt was out hunting for food and a poacher shot her. She was bonded to my uncle so he died too. How undignified was that? To be killed by a human?"

Jasyn shook his head and tutted lightly, he was silent for a while and Emily was trying hard to keep her mouth shut so that she didn't prompt him. As fascinating as the insight into his past was, she didn't see how it was connected to Arion's accusation of Jasyn being a child-killer.

"I suppose a two or three years went past with me being on my own. The anger inside me brewing, growing everyday. I was hunted by Arcadian sentinels who would train using young fledglings like me for sport. I fought every one of them and killed every one of them, which I will not apologise for."

"I would not expect you too," Emily murmured but she wasn't sure if he'd heard her, he was staring at the tree before him with such intensity that Emily was surprised he didn't set it alight.

"I was one hundred and eighteen years old when I met Arion. I had hooked up with a group of hawk brothers whose parents had perished in a fire when Arcadians set their home to burn. By then I had gained a reputation as a vicious Arcadian killer and just to give themselves a legitimate reason to send out their best forces on me, they pronounced me a slayer. They sent force after force on me and I killed them all. Rivers ran red with the amount of blood spilt in those battles. Eventually they began to lessen, they were too scared to face me and I lived for about six months in relative ease. There was the occasional skirmish now and then with sentinels wanting to make their bones but nothing major."

"Then Arion came along," Jasyn said through clenched teeth, "to give him his due, he was smarter then the other Arcadians I'd faced. He knew that we were equally matched in force so he knew that I had to be defeated another way. He came through Andre. Out of all the brothers I was closest to him, he was as crafty and conniving as a hawk could be and I admired him for it, he was older then I but physically weaker. Still I was young, I was willing to believe that though he would double deal others, even his younger brothers, he would not do so to me. But he did. Arion offered him money in return for setting me up. Not only that … I had found out afterwards that Andre had been mated to an Arcadian."

"Oh my Lord! Really?" Emily gasped and Jasyn nodded.

"I couldn't believe it either. Of course, he treated her worse then if she had been a dumb dog. Anyway, I got a message that Andre wanted to see me about something very secret and very important. I went to an old farmhouse in Toulouse; they had planted his scent everywhere and the smell of blood. I rushed in thinking to save him but Arion was there instead and caught me unawares. We fought for hours and I came out victorious that time. I think it was because I had a burning hatred within me for Andre. I knew he had set me up and I was determined to settle the score. I went to his home, I found him there in the middle of beating his pathetic mate, his brothers were all around too. I tore through all of them in a blind red mist. "

"Were they all involved?" Emily asked quietly.

"I don't know," Jasyn answered his voice equally as soft, "all I knew was that I had been betrayed by the only people I had in my world. And so they had to die. I cut down Andre last letting his fear build until he begged to be spared, even offered to give me his mate in payment for his life. I tore out his throat and watched his drowned in his own blood; suddenly I felt a presence behind me. I spun around and lashed without looking, it was a boy. Arcadian of about thirteen."

Emily watched him talk about it so coldly and casually she really was waiting for him to shrug.

"His throat was slit and he fell holding the wound. His mother, who was almost crippled from the beating she had received from Andre, crawled towards him, but she could not reach him."

"The child was going the same way as his father; he wouldn't die for another twenty minutes. He was suffering. Drowning in blood, unable to breathe. All he would be able to think about was that he couldn't breathe and the fear of not being able to draw breath. So I took out my sword and -"

Jasyn stopped, he breathed rapidly through his nose trying to instil calm into his heart. He tried never to think about that day, he hated Arion all the more for it. Jasyn never said that he hadn't killed innocent people when fighting; he never denied that he was a murderer or a bully. He never insisted there had been a logical explanation for everything he'd done in his past; he never insisted he was fair or righteous. But he wished he had been just so when it came to this day he could look Emily in the eye with a purer heart.

"I stabbed him through the heart and let him die in my arms," Jasyn finished abruptly; Emily closed her eyes and held her hands over her heart. It was such a bloody, complicated mess.

"What of his mother?" she asked quietly, Jasyn turned his head away from her as he spoke.

"When Arion arrived she'd already passed from her wounds, but I know what it looked like. I didn't defend myself or tell them I didn't do it, I just flashed myself out of there and have been gaining reputation ever since."

"It was a mercy killing," Emily whispered, Jasyn shrugged, his face twisted with anger and the effort to hold back emotion.

"It was murder," he said simply, "it doesn't matter what anyone thinks."

"It was mercy," Emily insisted and this time she touched his back very gently and felt him stiffen, she rubbed once in a big, soothing circle.

"I haven't known peace since that day," Jasyn whispered, "from my enemies … from my own mind."

Emily watched him abruptly rub a hand over his face and held it over his mouth as he gazed into the darkness. He turned to her quickly, making Emily jump back to stop their bodies from colliding, he leant close.

"My point, Emily, is that things are shaped into what they are," Jasyn said, his eyes boring into her, the intense blue was astounding and heart breaking, "things are rarely born evil."

Emily controlled her lip and didn't let it quiver; instead she put her hand on his head and guided it without much resistance into her lap. He lay there with his eyes closed, breathing methodically in and out.

In and out, Jasyn thought to himself, in, out, in, out.

He just had to focus on the way his lungs worked, the feeling of the air pushing in and flowing out, it was the only he knew to stop water from forming in his eyes. Why was she doing this to him? Why wasn't she pushing him away? He needed her too. He needed her to condemn him, to hate him like everyone else. Perhaps he shouldn't have been so truthful; perhaps he should have told her he meant to kill the boy. Jasyn saw it now in his minds eye, the way he had knelt in the bloody mud and held the boy in his arms as the light faded from his eyes. The sound of agony ripping through Jasyn's clenched teeth, coming all the way from his breast. Hating that he had now become the thing that the Arcadians had named him for years, he was a slayer.

How could he be doing this? Letting Emily entrench herself closer and firmer into his heart, he's very presence produced more harm to her and more threats then it did protection. How could he feel this way about her? Unless …

Jasyn groaned out loud and Emily began stroking his hair, trying to soothe him but only causing him more pain.

On Halloween night Jasyn had sat in his own room and reaffirmed his old promise to himself that he would never, ever touch her. For Arion now wanted her and should she bear Jasyn's mark she would never be safe again.

"You are not evil," she whispered sweetly, lovingly into his ear, Jasyn turned his face into her leg.

"Why are you doing this to me?" he said but his voice was muffled, her hands stilled in his hair.

"What?"

Jasyn flew up from his position and gained his feet, he backed away from her, Emily was looking utterly bewildered and perhaps a little frightened.

"Get up," he commanded and she did as she was told, forever keeping a watchful, wary eye on him. "Now flash yourself back to Sanctuary."

Emily didn't move but simply stared at him and Jasyn felt his emotions rising rapidly and unsteadily to the top.

"Now!" he roared at her, making her jump and immediately flash back to Sanctuary. When she was gone Jasyn dropped to his knees and began to pound the ground with his fists, causing dent after dent in the firm ground, sending mud splatting at trees and rocks and in the water. After all the years of feeling nothing and practically being a corpse, why were the Fates bringing him this woman? Was it their plan to make him suffer for the crimes he had committed? He was not an innocent man but neither was he guilty, he did not accept that judgement. He would never have killed if Arcadian hadn't tried to kill him first and he may have killed innocents in the heat of battle but never had he attacked someone unprovoked - Jasyn gasped, he hadn't been guilty of that until Emily! Not until Emily had he ever tried to kill someone for just being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Jasyn moaned miserably into his hands and rocked himself, and not for the first time but it was definitely the most ardent time he wished to be someone, anyone, else.

But at least she knew, Jasyn thought comfortingly to himself, if no one else knew that he was innocent of most of the rumours that had been spread about him at least she did. The rest of the Were-Hunter world could think of him as a scum bag, a rabid mad bastard in need of being put down. But Emily knew the truth and Jasyn could live with some semblance of peace knowing that she knew, even though most the time he would be in hell from wanting her so badly.