Chapter 20
It wasn't really a big deal. Kahoko decided. She was just going to sleep beside Len in a ridiculously small bed, not a big deal. They just need to share a blanket and squeeze themselves in that ridiculously small bed. Not really a big deal. She was just going to be intimately close in a ridiculously small bed with the guy who just made her mind swoon with his gentle smile earlier. It was just a ridiculously small bed, not a big deal.
"It's not a big deal!"
"Kahoko, it's okay, you can have the bed. I got myself another blanket. I can just sleep on the floor." Len interrupted noticing how her face blanched and suddenly blushed. The transition of colors on her face was beyond Len's knowledge he simply shrugged it off instead of asking.
"N-no...you pay you use."
"I won't let a woman sleep on the floor." Len lie on the floor, not planning to argue anymore. They still needed to wake up early for another long travel. On Len's estimate, they would reach it before ten in the morning.
Kahoko pursed her lips and lie on the bed, feeling guilty. "I can't sleep," she whined, noticing herself looking above...directly at the hole which seemingly turning darker and bigger within her sight. A sudden gust of cold wind and a vast imagination shook her bones. She sat up, feeling her chest as her heart thumped rapidly beneath it. She coughed the air in her lungs and shot a glance over the man sleeping—innocently—on the floor. She warily glanced at the hole.
SCREEEECH
Kahoko jumped out of her bed and curled herself beside Len who sat up out of surprise. "What?" his gruff voice irritated.
"I heard something." Kahoko covered her face with the blanket.
"Must be rats..."
"I don't know...maybe a ghost." Kahoko shook her head, still covered with the blanket from head to toe.
Len sighed. "Don't be ridiculous, it's just a rat." He pulled the blanket and covered himself as well, looking as Kahoko's face hued red again. He raised a brow.
"Don't look at me."
"You're on my floor." He stared at her expressive amber eyes for a moment before his sight travelled south, to her pink cheeks that seemingly turned more crimson up to her slightly parted lips. He placed his left arm beside her, effectively trapping her between the floor and his body. He leaned forward, never removing his heavy-lidded eyes over her mouth. He could feel her warm breath caressing his cheeks as he removed more distance between them until he was a lean away to finally erase the space between their lips. His stare was like a caress until it lingered in her eyes.
Kahoko paused from breathing, curious at what he was going to do next, the powerful gold swirling in his eyes drowned her other thoughts into oblivion, erased any other things around them except his presence that seemed too potent to ignore.
She watched when he partially opened his mouth. "Go to sleep..."
Kahoko blinked, feeling the wave of coldness enveloped her the moment he moved away. She glanced at her side and found the man, his back facing her. She blinked again. What did just...
"Go to sleep." He didn't bother turning around.
"I can't sleep."
Silence responded back, Kahoko thought he wouldn't speak again until she heard a rustle at her side. She glanced at his direction but he didn't make a move of looking at her.
"Kahoko..."
"Yes?"
"Do you trust me?"
There was a long pause. "Of course."
"Don't doubt then."
"I—"
"You don't have to be scared, Kahoko."
"I'm not..." Kahoko pursed her lips. He wasn't talking about just a mere ghost, he wasn't talking about rats, or the darkness, or the scary shrill of the wind. She knew what it was but she chose not to open the topic. "Good night, Len."
~NeKo Meow~
The sunrays trickled through the window and pressed warm caresses over Kahoko's face. She winced a bit when the heat was already too much to handle. She cracked one eye, noticing the unfamiliar sight, she opened her other eye with a start. At first, she was confused until the haziness of her mind cleared and the memory of the last night occurrence flashed before her eyes. She sighed and looked at the empty space beside her. "Len?"
As if on cue, the blue head peeked from the bathroom door, dabbing a towel on his face. "You should get up and prepare. We will leave soon."
"Without eating breakfast?"
"After breakfast." He went back inside the bathroom to get his things. "Hurry."
~NeKo Meow~
As they got near their destination, Kahoko started feeling a strange throb in the deepest part of her heart. A throb that she tried to hide and forget hence she wouldn't feel any more pain. The place looked awfully familiar, a wave of nostalgia beating the sense out in her mind. The sight of the wide area of green tackled her eyes. The fresh air she hadn't smelled for years, the comfortable silent and quiet murmurs of nature, and the laughter of children playing on the street.
Kahoko's eyes widened. There is a preschool at the right curve. Her eyes watered when they turned right, meeting an old yet still standing small school at the corner. A temple...old man's house...the park...the bakery... Kahoko's mood lightened up, her heart thumping excitedly contrary to what she first felt earlier. Iikun's house...and...our house...
Len didn't stop, though, they continued to venture until toward the hill.
And...
They stopped at the top of the hill, Len parking the motorcycle at the side. Kahoko exhaled the air she seemed holding earlier as she looked around. There were few people visiting, the others Kahoko couldn't seem to remember anymore but the place didn't change. It was still the same. A weak pain throbbed through her heart, nonetheless it didn't bother her like it did before.
"Len...how—"
"I asked your friends about this place and the inn keeper last night about the direction. I hope we're in the right place."
Kahoko closed her mouth and nodded.
"It's your turn."
"Huh?"
"Lead the way."
She looked ahead and hesitated. Can I really...Kahoko tilted her head at her companion, feeling his cold hand held hers.
He gently squeezed her hand for assurance. "It'll be okay." He was looking ahead as if he knew where the place was. Kahoko smiled, looking at what he was looking.
They strode toward the direction they were eyeing and stopped just in front of the two tombstones at the side.
"Mama...papa..." Kahoko's eyes watered. How long it had been? She didn't know anymore. Although, their faces started blurring in Kahoko's mind, although they didn't able to experience seeing her grow up, the reassuring voice that turned to hums, the warm caresses soothing her whenever she hurt herself, her father's voice that promised security, the fresh baked cookies her mom would make still had a distinguishable, although faint, tang in her senses. Kahoko still and clearly feel the love and dedication they gave to her in that limited time.
It was something she couldn't just forget, something that would not just fade in years. The feeling and memories remained. It wouldn't just go away; it stayed in the depth of her heart.
Len approached them and knelt on one knee, wiping away the dirt on the slab.
Kahoko blinked back the tears and looked at them. It didn't hurt...it didn't frighten her. It didn't explode like a fire and burn her in agony. It felt...
Kahoko breathed. She felt home. She felt complete and relaxed.
She walked toward the fence and glanced over the view of the community beneath the hill. Clear blue sky spread over the horizon, clouds swirled like feathers overhead, and pastures stretched and covered half of the land with its relaxing green hue. They were all in her mind...the happy memories didn't leave.
"Let's go." Len stood up and dusted his pants.
Kahoko pivoted and watched him, a small smile tugging her lips.
~NeKo Meow~
The travel back home had been awfully quiet. Len didn't mutter a single word until they reach the mansion. Kahoko assumed he was tired and talking would exhaust him more. She buried her face on his back, smelling the scent of familiar mint she started to get used to. It was refreshing and soothing; it wasn't too strong or too faint. It was distinguishable but not too spicy. It was Len.
"You know..." Len began when they passed the mansion's gate.
"Hmm?"
"You should stop sniffing me like a dog." He stopped just in front of the door, shifting lightly hence she stopped from her odd ministration.
Kahoko pushed herself away, a healthy hue of red dusted her face. She winced out of realization and guilt wiped over her face when she noticed he was really telling the truth. However, as if she was going to admit it, no. "I did not."
"Hn." His only reply, an awful amount of sarcasm oozed out in a simple exhale of that sound. Len's lips slightly twitched, amused, but it fell into a thin straight line when Kahoko glared at his direction, giving her the look of indifference and irritating her more.
She was about to give an ugly retort but she didn't get any more chance as the others appeared out of the door and bombarded them with questions.
Kazuki jumped between them and stared at Kahoko. "How was it?"
"Eh? It's good to be back...I guess."
"Kaho-neechan, can we go there too?" Keiichi looked at her, his big aqua eyes shining expectantly.
The redhead giggled and patted his hair. "Sure, next time we will go there."
"Oi, you two, you owe me for being a human wall." Ryotaro winced, massaging the invisible pain on his back. There were at least two big pain relief patches on it.
"I'm tired." Len muttered nonchalantly.
Kahoko watched as he regarded her before marching inside the house.
"Junnosuke said you should bring his motorcycle back." Kazuki shouted.
"I don't think he will do that." Ryotaro shrugged and went inside the house as well. A nice little time with his bed would ease the sore on his back.
"Oh, Kahoko, you're back." Manami observed Ryotaro's retreating form before giving out a small chuckle. She spun around and gazed at her friend. "Tired?"
Kahoko wouldn't have realized it if Manami didn't mention. Her eyes felt heavy as a loud yawn escaped her lips. Probably, she wasn't used travelling that long anymore. She had been a kid when she last did it. Nodding her head in agreement, she gave her fair head friend a smile before she ran upstairs.
"You don't seem too tired to me." Manami giggled, and followed suit.
~NeKo Meow~
Tomorrow...
Kahoko's heart leaped out, seemingly feeling it smashing against her ribs. Tomorrow. Anxiety pinched over Kahoko's face, although it wasn't as painful and confusing like before but there was still a tinge of worry clambering her mind.
She didn't able to spend her time with him yesterday. She had been in bed until the late afternoon and found out he was with his father preparing for their trip tomorrow. She, fortunately, was able to assure him she would be all right, not because she was forced to but this time she finally found the answer to her sudden confusion last time. Although, they didn't able to finish talking as he had things to do, Kahoko was still at ease the moment he gave her a small yet genuine smile.
His eyes shone with relief, a vibrant shade of gold contradiction to the dim one he displayed when she first told him that he should leave. It comforted her, and the guilt inside her dispersed in the air.
"I should give him something." Kahoko rummaged through her cabinet and grabbed her purse. "Manami, I'll be back this afternoon." She waved a hand, almost hitting Manami.
"Kahoko, be careful!" Manami pouted, leaning on the stairs. "That girl..." she smiled, shaking her head.
~NeKo Meow~
"What is she doing?" Kazuki jumped on the couch and watched as the redhead ran upstairs and downstairs for the he didn't know how many times. He lost count when he found her holding a pack of cookies, and a box of doughnut. She gave him a big one, and all things disappeared in his line of vision, it was only him and the cookie.
"Kazuki-nii, I got a bunny cookie." Keiichi cooed at his side. The sofa he was currently sitting was a disarray of pillows, unfortunate enough to taste the battering and jumping the hyper kid did earlier.
"Kahoko is being strange again."
"I'm not! And I'm not going to give you doughnuts if you say that again, Kazuki-san."
Kazuki groaned in protest. "You can't do that Kahoko."
"I'm just kidding." Kahoko giggled and shoved a piece of paper in front of the two. "I already gave Ryotaro-kun and the others."
"What are we going to do with this scratch?"
"It's not a scratch, it's an invitation."
"Oh! Birthday."
"No, Keiichi, it's camping. We will camp tonight outside. I expect you both there."
~NeKo Meow~
"What is this?" Len raised a brow.
"It's your farewell party. We're camping."
"Unnecessary." Len was half way turning when Kahoko dragged him beside her, forcing the lad to sit on the log. He wondered where did they got it but decided to keep it on himself. It was nothing of importance.
"So...what are we going to do?" Ryotaro scratched his chin with his index finger, trying to avoid sounding harsh.
"Eat."
"Kazuki-san, you shouldn't be talking when your mouth is full." Kahoko pouted, shooting a reprimanding stare at Ryotaro. "We'll spend our time together, tell stories and whatnot."
"Sounds uncool."
"Come on people, more happy memories the better."
~NeKo Meow~
"They said when someone left he or she turns into a star ...and guides their loved ones in the earth." Kahoko smiled, craning her head on the side to look at Len.
"Hn." He considered as he continued reading the book he was holding.
Their camping ended when Keiichi started getting sleepy. One by one they stepped inside their sleeping bags and dozed off. Kahoko recounted their time together when she noticed that Len wasn't around. She trained her eyes over her right and found him at the garden bench, reading a book.
"Len, look!" Kahoko laughed, pointing at the stars winking at them. "Those three stars are mine and that's yours."
Len flipped a page, covering his mouth when tiredness got into his system with a yawn.
Kahoko pouted. "Len!"
Silence echoed, and a faint rustle of clothes and paper.
"I said look at your star!" Kahoko barked, snatching the book and throwing it elsewhere in the darkness.
Len frowned then sighed. "Fine." He gave her a penetrating stare.
Kahoko flinched. Her heart roared, and a strange tickling sensation fluttered through her stomach. "What are you doing?"
"Staring."
"Stop that." The blood in every vein in Kahoko's body bubbled and gave ringing bells in her ears.
"You said I look."
Her face flamed red with embarrassment and understanding. "Not me, the star!" she tried to point, jabbing an accusing finger toward the sky adorned with an ocean of glitters.
"How will I supposed to know what star? There are a lot of them. It's much easier to look at you."
If possible, she would have swooned from what...heart attack? She felt her heart constricted intensely.
Len got up on his feet, approaching her, footfall slow, measured and torturous...on Kahoko's point of view. She gulped, lifting her head upward to look at his face. She paused, cursing herself for looking at his eyes, instead she focused on his chin as she became—as an excuse—a solid fan of that part of him.
Len's lips quirked upward. He lifted his hand and captured her chin, tilting it to see her face. "It can't be helped." He let go, grabbed the book on the ground and returned to his seat.
Kahoko blinked. He did it again! Frustrated, she marched on the bench and sat beside him, shooting annoyed glances over his direction. The man only shrugged, and pulled out something from his pocket.
"I've been meaning to do this, but you ruined my plan."
She was about to protest when he captured her hand and placed something on it.
"Here..." He didn't let go this time. "When we visited your parents, I told you that what I was going to do has something to do with you."
Kahoko nodded, at a loss for words.
"I told them..." he smiled, gentle, warm, and honest, this time he allowed it to last for her to remember everything about it. This time he removed his mask and allowed her to see the overwhelming glint of certainty in his eyes. "I'm not going to let you feel lonely ever again, Kahoko"
"Len..."
"I'm going to leave...but that doesn't mean I'm going to abandon you. Do you trust me, Kahoko?"
Kahoko closed her eyes, remembering the feeling overcame her at that time in the hill. She pondered over the memories she had with her parents, her grandmother and with her friends. They came and went by, but a part of them remain, the fragments that she used to cherish until now. It didn't left...the feeling never disappeared. She opened her eyes, and felt calm and certain than before. The ache in her heart lessened immensely into a faint tingling, until it completely disappeared and replaced with sheer comfort. Yes, they didn't leave; it was she who tried to forget them. But now she wouldn't. "Yes."
"I told you before, I will never let you go. Believe me, I will never."
Her eyes stung, the feeling of fervent assurance washing away all her doubts. She believed him, she trust him he would do what he said. She wasn't afraid anymore, she wasn't scared anymore, she knew he'll be there. And she wasn't going to push the memories aside, she would sincerely accept it without giving a doubt.
~NeKo Meow~
Kahoko, let me be your star. Kahoko smiled over the memories and gazed at the bracelet on her right wrist, a single star gleamed against the light. She looked back at her laptop screen and typed down what she was going to tell him.
It had been a year since he left. At first, she felt lonely but what assured her in that moment was the absence of fear in her heart. She didn't fear the same manner she felt when she lost her family. However, Kahoko paused and reconsidered, she never lost anything at all to start with, hence the reason she must not feel scared. It was more likely she gained more. She shouldn't feel it when she knew there are more good things ahead of her.
She chuckled and looked forward. Hey, how have you been? Kazuki-san told me you're not responding to his email. I told him you always respond to mine, but that's the stupidest thing I ever said. So, he asked me to tell you that he's still alive. Kahoko laughed, remembering the pleading puppy eyes the green haired guy gave to her. Well, not exactly that, but he wants you to respond to his message.
"Kahoko, here's what you told me to buy for you." Manami shouted behind the door.
Kahoko clicked the send button and closed her laptop.
We're doing fine, it sounds funny, though, when you left, everything seems a little bit tamed. Ryotaro-kun won't admit it but he definitely misses you. And you know what? Kahoko choked out a laugh, walking while thinking about the message she sent to Len, definitely he would find it amusing. Well when you left, oddly, Nami-son is taking an interest in making Ryotaro-kun's life miserable, I assumed it must have something to do about last time when we stole her cousin's motorcycle. She's still thinking if he wasn't blocking the door she would have caught us, much to Manami's chagrin. They're doing well anyway, Ryotaro-kun is creating a harem. Just saying, I'm assuming you wanted to know.
Kahoko sighed and looked at the long stairs before her. "Okay, let's go." She told herself.
Shouzaburou-san is faring well. We usually look at your old pictures...oops, that's supposed to be a secret. But I find your baby picture in a bunny outfit cute so I print it and made myself a t-shirt. Oh, I have to tell you, Oba-chan loved it so I made one for her too. And Kazuki-san...and Nami found out so she got a dozen...oops.
"Nao and Mio must have gotten here first." Kahoko blinked and placed her bouquet of flowers beside her grandmother's grave. "Everything is faring well, grandma." She smiled.
After some time retelling to her grandma what she had been doing, Kahoko decided to leave. She was on the last step when her phone rang.
"What are you doing calling overseas?" Kahoko shrieked.
"Can't I call you anymore? It's my phone, I use I pay."
"But, you can just email me."
"Talking about email, I read it already, will you explain this old pictures and bunny tshirt you are talking about."
Kahoko shivered. This is trouble, she mumbled to herself. "Sorry, Len, I can't hear you." She faked a static sound. "Len, huh, what?"
"Don't be foolish, I can clearly see you blowing on the mouthpiece."
"You what?" Kahoko snapped her head in front and saw him looking straight at her on the other side of the road. She lifted her right foot when he talked again.
"Stay there. I don't want to see another woman getting hit by a car in front of me."
Kahoko chuckled noticing the humor in his tone. He's getting over it. Seemingly, seconds ticked so slowly before Len was able to pass the road. He stared at her face when they were arm length away, engraving in the back of his brain her look he hadn't seen for a year. And apparently the face he missed so much. The thought knocked his voice off, his throat suddenly went dry as his heart thumped pleasingly against his chest. Who is she for you? It had been echoing in his mind. She is...He knew it long time ago; he felt it before he had realized it by words.
Kahoko blinked, she couldn't believe that what she was looking at was the same man she longed to see, the man who she missed so much, she imagined hugging him at first sight, but at this moment, she just froze, unable to do anything but stare.
"I'm for real, Kahoko."
The sound of her name on his lips gave a fluttering feeling inside her stomach, her face warmed, as the rush of excitement and glee coursed through her body. "Len!"
"I am—"
She cut him off with a hug. She couldn't believe this. Her eyes began to sting as tears welled up her eyes, she buried her face on his chest, all the same time letting herself enveloped to his warmth and minty scent. "You're back."
"Yes," he said, wrapping his arms around her, and slowly pulling her closer, removing any more space between them. "I'm back."
Who is she for you?
He cupped her cheeks and lightly pushed her chin to look at him. She complied, both staring at gold and amber. His hand travelled from her cheeks to the back of her head as his arm snaked over her waist to the spine of her back. She shuddered over the touch but she didn't take her eyes off of him, she observed, and examined every spark and upsurge of emotions in his eyes. She watched when it darkened into a honey, closed half way to gentleness until a distinctive glint of longing washed over her. Everything about him, at that very moment exuded tenderness yet there was this potent aura of security blending and soothing her person.
Fascinated, she let the feelings overcome her, feeling his fingers fluttered across her scalp and comforting her. She watched as he leaned forward so dangerously near she could taste the scent of peppermint on hisdangerously close lips. She blinked, pushing him. "W-wait, what are you doing here? Oh! I didn't mean to push you."
Len hissed, ruffling his hair out of irritation. "I can return if I want to."
"No, I mean, you should be spending time with your father."
"Kahoko, I already did."
"But, are you sure that's enough, so are you just visiting?" Kahoko continued. "Ah. You're just dropping by to see us, that's great, the others will love that."
"I'm going to stay."
"Huh?"
"Last time when you met my mother, you told her something. May I know what?"
Kahoko pursed her lips and blushed. "W-what are you talking about, Len, that's so last year ago, I forgot."
"Kahoko, you're not a good liar. Tell me or..." he pulled her again, leaning.
"I promise her I'm going to take care of you."
"So, I don't suppose I'm late to help you fulfill that promise." He smiled.
"Oh..." she blinked "No, not at all." She laughed.
"And another thing..."
"W-what...hey!" she squeaked, feeling herself crashed against his chest. She was about to protest when his lips pressed softly against hers slowly and patiently as if testing. After a moment, she closed her eyes, returning the same fervor he was giving her, and allowed herself to drown in the strange and new feeling dancing through her stomach and giving fast thump in her heart. Her arms wove around his neck as her hands ran through his hair, calming him in the process.
Who is she for you?
She is... He lifted his face, looking at her eyes sparked with a raw sense of longing and contentment. The girl I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. His arms tightened around her, enclosing her within his grip, letting her feel the calm wallop of his heart. It wasn't suffocating or too tight for comfort, it was just enough, Kahoko considered, savoring his warmth.
She thought she lost everything, but actually it stayed within her. People come and go in her life but they left a piece of them that helped her grow to who she was now, and that strength and lesson she had gained, would always be a reminder that once they were there, and once lived with her.
"Kahoko..."
"Y-yes?"
She thought she wouldn't feel the emotion she once felt before; she thought she wouldn't feel the warm, calming voices and laughter of people who look after her. She thought she wouldn't be able to feel again the comfort a family could give, and the security a home can provide. She thought it was something she cannot have ever again. She thought it was too late... beyond repair, a cycle of pain. But she was wrong, it wasn't, never. It was never too late.
"Let's go home."
~THE END~
Authoress' Corner:
End Scene. Yay! I finished it! /cries blood. Warning: Long Authoress' note coming.
I don't feel like it actually synchronized with the whole story. /dies with so much digressing and possible hypocrisy in this ending/ this is so different from what I imagined for an ending last year [I planned on ending it on the camping but I decided since I've been away for centuries, I make it a bit longer than supposed]. But I had SO MUCH FUN writing this, especially the latter part, I got it from the deepest and darkest part of my soul. I just love it. I'm not sure if you can connect with me, I, unfortunately, am not good at expressing deeply. But I do hope you enjoy this last installment of Never Too Late. Tell me what you think. I plead for your opinions, because, right now I'm slowly dying out of apprehension. I feel like...it's not...er...I don't know. /cries
Thank you to those people who I stretch their patience so long but still hold on to this story until now. Thank you for reading, reviewing, favorite-ing and alerting this story. Really really thank you. I'm in a very good mood right now, but royally nervous. Haha. Please, put down all your pitchforks, you're scaring my muse away.
AND NOTICE: I NEED A BETA EDITOR FOR MY WANTED: TEMPORARY WIFE. A beta-ed who has the stamina to proofread 24 chapters with an average of 3k words and overwhelming errors. /sweatdrops.
/Post Script: On my profile/
And.../drumrolls/ I dedicated this to my little sister who isn't little at all. Haha. My illegitimate online slave little sister. You know who you are, aside from Kaji, your birthday is today, November 12. Happy Birthday. I make it sure to publish this on the same date of your birthday. I'm not really good at remembering anniversary but I know I was able to meet you because of this story. I'm not sure if you can read this [because you're busy with study, but I hope you do.]and I'm not really planning on posting this update in my fb group on the same date because you'll know. So, if ever you're reading this, surprise.
And yeah, if you'd notice...I didn't greet you 's a part of ze surprise Haha.I'm a sadist, without your knowing I'm spreading your birthday around the world right now. /dead
You know I have Len syndrome and I'm not really expressive.../dead But I'm always in the shadow keeping tabs.
NeKo Meow out~