Author's note: I didn't get any reviews, but with this story its all just buzzing in my head and I need to write it out before I forget it so there will be random updates all the time(: I hope you guys liked this one it took some time to detail everything right.

Part of where you're going, Is knowing where you're coming from.

Clare moved to the other side of the room and brought over a broken CD. When I saw it, my heart stopped. I felt my eyes fill with tears and my whole body burned.

"Alright, Eli, we can throw this away because it's broken," she went to go put it in the bag, but I snatched it from her.

"N-no, I cant," I said in a strangled voice, clutching the CD close to me.

"Eli, it's broken. You cant use it. You need to throw it away,"

I shook my head, closing my eyes, fighting the images. I dropped the CD in my lap and clutched my forehead with my fingernails. Maybe I could claw the images out?

Clare's hands were on my, prying them away from my face. "Eli, stop it, calm down, it's okay,"

This wasn't the first time I tried to get rid of the images drastically, but this was different. These images hurt me. I couldn't think about them.

I ripped my hands away from Clare's and gripped my hair. "Julia!" I yelled out, desperate. Maybe she could make them go away- where ever she was.

I felt all of Clare's arms wrap around my shoulders. "Eli, please, you have to calm down,"

I continued sobbing, shaking, tossing my head side to side, wanting the images of that night out of my head.

"Eli, shh, it's okay, nobody's hurt. Everyone's okay. I have faith in you. You can do it. You can throw away the CD,"

"I cant!" I yelled, breathlessly. "I cant throw it away,"

"Eli, it's broken,"

I started rocking back and forth. Clare kept her arms around me and held me tighter. "I cant!" I yelled again.

"Tell me why, talk to me,"

"I cant,"

"Eli, I'm here to listen. It's okay,"

She was pushing me too close to the edge. The images were burning fuel in my brain that only made me angrier. My body ached with the memory and I wanted Julia back. I needed Julia back. "Julia!" I called out again. "Please!"

Clare held me tighter. "Just tell me, Eli, it'll make it easier to throw it away,"

My mind was a hundred different places. On Clare. My parents. Julia. Julia. Julia. Always Julia. That night. That song. That CD. Julia. The way it felt. Julia. The sounds. The sights. The feeling. The taste. Julia.

"It was the CD we were listening to the night Julia and I had sex for the first time!" I yelled, desperate to get the images to go away.

They faded once I said it out loud. I heard Clare grit her teeth. This was why I was holding the memory back. She didn't need to know.

I was calmer now, after getting that out there. I took in deep breaths and waited for Clare to say something. "Eli, it's a broken CD. You can go buy a new one of the same kind to listen to that song,"

The song lyrics started running through my mind and I shook me head again, trying to get them out. "No! I c-cant listen to it, but giving it away seems like I'm giving everything about me away,"

Clare nodded. "We usually talk about your memories. You describe them. To be honest, Eli, I don't want to hear that. Here," she handed me a notebook and pen. "Write it down. That way you can look back at this,"

I took the notebook from her and took in a deep breath. Could I do this? Sit here and write about the most important night of my life without going crazy.

I knew I had to, if I wanted to get better. I wasn't sure how my mind worked but all I know is that when I pick up an item that reminds me of Julia, the images come at me at full blast. But once I talk about the memory more and more the images fade until the pain is bearable. I've never written it before. Only talked about it.

Would this be different?

I began writing with shaky hands.

My Blink 182 greatest hits CD was on. It was the third time I've listen to it since I'd bought it. There was a knock at the door from downstairs and I ran down to answer it.

Julia stood before me in the doorway. Her make-up running down her face with her never-ending tears. The only thing I could do was take her in my arms and hold her while she cried.

"Jules, shh, shh, stop crying. It's okay, shh,"

I pulled her up to my room and sat her down on the bed. She clung to me, crying wordlessly. "Shh," I murmured over and over stroking her hair.

"Eli, I hate her, she hates me," she sobbed.

"Who hates you? What's going on?"

"Megan. She hates me, she wants to make my life hell,"

Megan was her step-mom and ever since her dad remarried, Julia and Megan have never seen eye-to-eye.

"What did she do?"

"She saw that I had a picture of my mother on my wall and she ripped it down. She told me my mother was dead and I needed to get over it,"

I didn't understand her pain of that night until now. I took in another deep breath and kept writing.

"You have every right to miss your mom and if she doesn't like it, she can screw herself,"

Julia actually managed to laugh, but then she cried again. "Megan said if I cant accept the fact that my mom was dead, I should leave. I didn't have anywhere else to go,"

"You can stay here as long as you want. I promise. It's no trouble,"

She nodded into my shoulder then wiped her tears. "Thank you,"

"Anything for you," I promised, pressing my lips to her forehead.

Her arms wound around my neck and she locked our lips.

Kissing Julia was nothing like kissing Clare. I felt every emotion on Julia's lips. She didn't keep anything reserved. She was a wild one.

I kissed her back, my hormones taking over as she moved to straddle me. I moaned in the kiss and yanked on her hair.

She bit my bottom lip and ran it threw her teeth I moaned louder. My "personal area" was starting to tighten against my jeans.

Julia moved her hands from around my neck to unbutton my jeans. When she unzipped my jeans, I couldn't help myself and I was pushing myself onto her.

She began taking off my shirt and I spent no time taking hers off. "Julia, wait,"

"What?" she asked on my neck.

"Are you sure?"

"Of you? Definitely. You're the only one I can trust, Eli,"

"But you're sad and confused. I cant take advantage of you,"

"You're not. I'm completely sure of this. Eli, I want you,"

With those four words my hormones kicked in again and suddenly, I was working her out of her skinny jeans. She slipped my boxers off just as I unclasped her bra and took off her panties.

When I was about to enter her she stopped me. "Condom?"

"Right," I reached for my jeans and pulled out a condom. After putting it on and about to enter her the next time, she stopped me again. "Eli, I'm scared,"

"Of what?" I whispered. This waiting was staring to get painful.

"Will it hurt?"

"I think so. I'll be gentle, though, I promise,"

She nodded and bit her lip.

It felt SO GOOD to enter her. The only bad thing was the tears that escaped her eyes. I caught them with my lips. "I'm sorry, Jules, I am,"

"It's okay. I'm okay. You can move now,"

"Okay…" I started moving slowly in and out of her, trying to be gently, but it was getting really hard to. It felt so much better to go faster.

Just as if Julia could read my thoughts she said, "Faster,"

I didn't need to be told twice.

She met me halfway with the thrusts and once we both hit our climax I pulled out and collapsed next to her.

All I could think in that moment was I just took the most important thing from my one true love and she just took what I've wanted to give her since I laid eyes on her.

I put the pen down and closed the notebook. It was hard to write. But I remembered that night with such detail, that I could finally get it all done. Clare came over and sat next to me. "Done?" she asked.

I put the CD in the bag. "Yeah. I guess it's better to write it down if I cant talk about it with you,"

She smiled. "I understand. But, you can talk to me about anything else. Now, moving on,"

She grabbed concert ticket and held it up. "Memory?" she asked.

I sighed and took the ticket out of her hand. Holding it made Julia feel closer. It brought the burning images back and I felt like I was being burning from the inside out.

Oddly enough, now it felt comforting. The burning let me know what Julia and I had was real. And that we'd be together again someday.

Author's note: okay, in the next chapter you do get the back flash on the concert ticket and just a warning the next chapter will be D E P R E S S I N G. you will cry. I cried. It will also be longer. But sadder. And a ciff hanger. So if you want it…