Author's note: alright I have to say this. Swanstream you are my favorite person at the moment. You review all of my stories. You're so sweet. AND you like Julia more than Clare? Be my best friend? Please(: lol. But anyway, I cried while writing this chapter and you'll cry reading it. (and I lied. This chapter wont be that long only because I have to go nighty-night. Sorry)

For all these times that I hear you say "Give me something to believe in. Give me someone to believe in"

"This concert was when me and Julia had our first kiss," I whispered. Clare had moved to sit next to me again and she read the date on the ticket.

"So, do you want to keep it?"

"I want to keep everything in this room, Clare, but I cant. You can throw away the ticket,"

She nodded. "You really are getting good at this," she said, putting the ticket into the bag.

"Yeah, well…" I trailed off, not knowing what to say. Some things were easy to let go of. Other things I needed to hold on to.

Clare picked up a notebook and put it down when her phone rang. "My mom is out front. I have to go home. Don't finish with out me. I'll be back tomorrow,"

I nodded. "Bye, Clare,"

"Goodbye, Eli," she kissed me and walked out of the room.

I looked down at the notebook she had picked up. It was a math notebook from 9th grade. I didn't know why I had it. I opened the notebook and looked at the picture of Julia that was in it, along with her phone number.

I touched her cheek through the picture and tried to remember what her skin felt like. Why? Why couldn't I remember? I was already forgetting her!

No.

My head was pounding, so I walked to the bathroom to get an aspirin. I shuffled through the medicine cabinet, looking for the pill bottle when something fell.

It was a razor. It fell right into the sink and clatter against it. I stared down at the razor.

Once I touched the razor, Julia was all I saw. A blurry memory of her. The lines were melted, I couldn't make out the details of her face.

Without even realizing what I was doing, I felt the razor break skin on my wrist. I should pull it away. I should stop my arm from bleeding.

But I didn't want to.

Because the deeper I cut, the clearer the image of Julia became. I could make out the grey eyes sparkling in the sun. Deeper. I could see the shine to her black hair. Deeper. I could see the lines in her skin, permanently there from smiling. Deeper. I could see her bright white teeth, clashing against her black outfit and hair. Deeper. I could hear her laugh. Deeper. I could hear her say my name.

"Eli!"

Deeper. Yes, Julia? I answered in my mind.

"Elijah!" Deeper.

You know I don't like being called that.

"Eli, stop it!"

Deeper. I want to see you, Jules.

The image became stronger and I felt like she was right there. Deeper. She frowned and glared at me, grey eyes becoming slits. Deeper. I wanted to feel her. What did she feel like now? Deeper. Warmth. I felt warmth all over me. Deeper. Julia, you're so warm. Deeper.

"Eli, oh my god!"

No, God, Jules. Me. I'm here with you. Deeper.

"Help!"

Deeper. Julia, I will help you. I'm here.

"Eli…"

Deepest.

Author's note: OHHHH giant cliff hanger. I literally cried writing this. If this ever happens to Eli on the show Stephen Stohn will definitely hear it from me. Eli should never ever do this. I love you guys forever and you'll have to review to find out if he's okay. (: