AUTHOR'S NOTE: First of all, I want to apologize for taking so long to post this latest update. I've been on vacation for the past week and it took me a little longer than I anticipated to work out my ideas for this chapter, but I promise that I won't take nearly as long updating the next one. In the meantime, I hope that you all enjoy chapter 4. This one's a whopper! ;) As always, reviews and constructive criticism are always welcome and appreciated. Enjoy! XOXO

"Have you had a talk with the lad yet?" Miles asked Chandler in the station's washroom as the latter washed his hands and studied himself in the mirror.

"No, I haven't had a chance to," he replied distractedly. The truth of the matter was that Chandler was afraid to face Kent after their row two days before. For much of the time since that day, he barricaded himself in his office with paperwork so that he could avoid having to apologize to his young detective. He knew it needed to be done, but he was terrified that he wouldn't be able to find the right words to say to make things right between them.

"Well, you better get on with it. That lad's gonna think you meant what you said and start packing his desk."

Chandler didn't reply. He simply gazed down at the sink and thought back to the look on Kent's face those two days before and he felt his chest tighten. Looking into Kent's eyes that day was like looking into the eyes of someone who'd just been told that their spouse had just died.

"…Well?! Do you want him to move?" Miles continued on, sensing Chandler's apprehension.

"No, of course not. That's the last thing I'd want. I'm just not very good at apologies."

"Well, you could have me or Riley have a word with him. Might make things less awkward for you. Riley seems to get on with him so I'm sure she wouldn't mind a bit."

"No. The apology should come from me or it won't mean anything. I just don't know what I'm going to say…" Chandler replied as he rubbed his fingers over his bare wrist. It was at moments like this that he wished he hadn't thrown away the rubber band that Morgan had given to him. For a while, it had become almost a shield to protect him from all the chaos and disorder around him. But now he was left to fend for himself.

"Just tell him you're sorry… that you didn't mean what you said and get on with it. It ain't bloody rocket science, you know."

"That's not the point, Miles. Kent deserves better than a simple 'I'm sorry.' After everything I said, I owe it to him to make sure he knows how much I value him as a part of our team. That's the least I could do. I feel terrible about what happened and I want to make it up to him."

"Then send him a bouquet of bloody roses for Christ's sake! I don't care. Just get on with it." Miles exclaimed.

Chandler sighed and thought back to the moment he saw the broken look in Kent's eyes right before he stormed out of his office. Chandler's heart felt like it had almost collapsed in on itself. He couldn't believe he had it in him to hurt someone like that, especially someone who was as devoted to their career as Kent was. Chandler had failed him once again; but this time, the damage was irreversible. Things would never be the same between them and the prospect of this hurt Chandler even more than anything else. But what was it about Kent that made him feel this way? Why was he obsessing over this?

There was something so mysterious and unreadable about Kent that really bothered Chandler and he wanted to know what it was.

But there was also something so vulnerable about the young constable...

The recent memory of Kent caring for that filthy alley cat flooded Chandler's mind and he immediately felt that very same warm feeling swelling inside him again. There was something about that moment that made Kent look so innocent and pure and Chandler was again overcome by a strange longing to protect him. Maybe it was just because he was so young and small compared to the other men on the squad and Chandler felt more responsibility for him then he did the rest of them. He couldn't explain it but it made something deep inside of him ache and he suddenly remembered that he'd felt those very same feelings once before.

When the hospital nurse had called him on his mobile to inform him that Kent had been stabbed by the Kray twins, Chandler had instantly gone weak in the knees. He recalled the sickening smell of disinfectant and illness as he raced down the hospital corridor to the emergency wing to find Kent lying on his stomach with a blood-soaked towel draped over his backside. He would never forget the look of agony and disappointment on his young constable's face as the nurses wheeled him away to the operating room and at that moment, Chandler had felt a kind of rage boil up inside him that he'd never felt before. It was so intense that it almost frightened him. He wanted to rip apart whoever had done this to his DC and when he finally got to fight Jimmy Kray in the ring, flashes of Kent kept speeding through his mind. In a way, it almost felt like he was fighting to avenge his DC…

Chandler immediately returned his attention to Miles as the thoughts that slowly began to creep into his mind made him uncomfortable.

"Well, anyway," Miles continued, "after this blows over, we ought to have a night out at the pub or something. The whole team. Give us a chance to relax and take the pressure off."

"I don't know if that would be a good idea, Miles. We all need to focus on our work right now."

"Of course it would be a good idea! Why wouldn't it?! Everyone's at each other's throats these days and a night out will let off some steam for all of us. Especially you. If we don't get you out of this office, you're bloody likely to boil over."

"Well, what would you suggest? I won't approve if it's anything too out of control."

"Like I said, a night out at the pub or a party at someone's flat. We may even get you to sing some karaoke," Miles replied with a wink.

"That's not likely to happen, but do whatever you think is necessary," Chandler sighed. "I'll leave it in your hands."

"Cheers. I'll have Riley make the arrangements. She's good at that sort of thing. Oh… and that reminds me. Judy wants you to meet someone. A distant niece. Beautiful girl… Just graduated with top honors from Oxford. You two just might hit it off. Her name's Charlotte."

Chandler cringed. "Miles, not again! I've told you a million times… I'm not interested in anybody. It just never works. I'm used to being alone and I have no plans to change that."

"How can anybody get used to being alone?!" Miles exclaimed. "That's the most pitiful thing I ever heard! Just give her a chance. She's bright and talented, and she has a smile that'll melt your heart."

"Out of the question," Chandler replied curtly. "I'm not interested." And it was the truth. Since Morgan died, he wasn't interested in anybody, romantically or sexually. He'd spent so many years alone, he was now more comfortable than ever being single.

And he didn't anticipate that situation changing anytime soon.

"Well, if you're not interested, then I'll pass her off to Kent. He'd like her, I'm sure. It's about bloody time that lad had someone to go home to," Miles stated as he walked out of the washroom leaving Chandler alone.

For some reason, that last comment bothered Chandler but he didn't know why. Maybe it was the idea that there was someone else in the station who was unattached that made him not feel so badly about the fact that he was alone as well. Riley and Miles were both happily married and always went on about how wonderful their families were. And even though Mansell was divorced, he always seemed to have no trouble finding a new woman to date whenever it suited him. But Kent always seemed to be alone. He never brought anybody to any work functions nor did he ever talk about who he was dating. And for some reason, that was comforting to Chandler. Maybe it was because he felt less like a fish out of water knowing that there was someone else besides him who went home to an empty flat each night.

Chandler hated that part of himself that didn't allow him to open up to anybody. There were always those quiet moments lying in bed with his arms wrapped around a pillow when he wanted so badly to be able to take care of someone and to share his life with them. But at this point in his life, it was probably too late. Each time that a possible relationship seemed to begin taking shape, his personal insecurities would get the best of him and apart from the fact that he was always such a perfectionist when it came to choosing a mate, he was embarrassed about his illness. He hated weakness, and he hated it even more when other people saw it in him.

Chandler sighed heavily as his thoughts returned to Kent. He wished that he knew what it was going to take to resolve this problem between them. What in god's name was Kent so bothered about? It had to be because of the way that Chandler treated him after Morgan's death. There wasn't any other logical explanation. But something distinct in the back of Chandler's mind whispered to him that it was more than that.

"You can't see it because you're clearly attracted to her!"

Chandler winced as he remembered the sting he felt when Kent had made that declaration all those months ago. It was obvious that Kent knew that he'd become distracted by Morgan. But still… there was something in the way he said those words that stuck in the back of Chandler's mind like an itch he couldn't scratch.

Chandler shook himself out of his wandering thoughts and returned to his office where he instantly noticed the bright blue form placed in the center of his desk. He knew almost immediately what it was and who had set it there while he was out. He walked slowly to his desk and he felt his heart sink as he picked up the form titled "Authorization for Departmental Transfer". At the bottom of the page was Kent's easily recognizable signature and a blank line highlighted in yellow, indicating where Chandler was requested to sign.

"Where's Kent?" Chandler asked as he rushed out of his office and into the incident room.

"He's gone out for a bite to eat," Mansell replied in a perplexed voice. "He should be back soon. Is there something you need, sir?"

"Do you know where he went?!"

"I dunno… I think he usually goes to the fish-and-chips down the street. I can call him on his mobile if you need him to come back."

"No. That won't be necessary," Chandler replied distractedly as he rushed out the door.

"Do you want that to go, love" the middle-aged shop attendant asked Kent after she'd taken his food order.

"No, I'll eat it here," he replied quietly. Kent didn't know how or why he ended up at the fish-and-chips shop at half past ten in the morning. After he set the requisition form on Chandler's desk, he found himself wandering out of the station in a daze. He didn't know where to go but he knew he needed to get out of there before Chandler returned to his office. Kent knew it would happen whether he was there or not, but he couldn't bear to watch Chandler sign the form. It would have been the final nail in the coffin.

The shop was almost completely empty except for the cooks behind the counter, but Kent still chose a small table in the back near the washrooms. He wanted to be left alone. The sound of dishes clanging against each other in the kitchen would have normally gotten on his nerves, but today he felt completely numb to everything around him. The last thing he wanted was to leave the Whitechapel crime unit, but he knew he didn't have any other choice. He didn't care which department they moved him to, just so long as he could get away from Chandler. He was tired of being miserable and depressed and in the long run, he knew it would be a relief to put all this behind him.

Kent thought about his flatmates Liam and Jeffrey and wished he could be more like them. They always seemed to have a marathon of new boyfriends walking in and out the door, but Kent was different. When he fell in love with someone, virtually nobody else mattered to him. But maybe that was his problem. Maybe if he became more casual about who he brought home, he wouldn't be so lonely. But even that would probably never work, considering his track record with men.

In the past, whenever he'd fallen in love with a bloke, it was always someone who was straight or unavailable. Erica once told him that the reason he would always fall in love with someone unavailable was because on some unconscious level, he didn't feel worthy of being loved. Maybe she was right. Chandler was perfect in every way. When the older man first appeared on the scene after the first Ripper killing, Kent was in awe of him. He had never seen anyone so handsome and sure of himself as Chandler was. Even his clothes were so perfect that Kent felt like a veritable Oxfam reject compared to him.

Kent also knew that Chandler was straight from the very beginning and he thought he could accept that. But the more he got to know his boss, the more he couldn't help but fall in love with him. He didn't want to because he knew that Chandler would never have the same feelings for him, but he couldn't help himself. The more he tried to ignore it, the more he fell in love. It was like swimming against the current: the harder he tried to fight against it, the more he got swallowed up by it.

"Do you mind if I join you?"

Kent looked up from his daze to see Chandler walking toward his table. He was surprised that he felt so calm and subdued despite seeing the older detective approaching him. At this point, he didn't care anymore.

"Go ahead," he replied quietly as he returned his gaze down to his plate.

"I haven't had fish and chips since I was a boy," Chandler spoke up trying to lighten the mood, but Kent didn't respond.

"Listen Kent," Chandler continued on, "I don't want you to leave. I'm sorry about what I said the other day, but I didn't mean it. I guess I was just upset and lashed out at you because I wanted to know what I'd done to upset you so much."

"I already told you that you didn't do anything. It's me."

"But that doesn't make any sense. All the signals I've gotten from you over the past few weeks point to the fact that you're angry with me about something. I told you before… I don't want to be your enemy. I just want us to move on from this and have a fresh start."

"Can you please just drop it? I really don't want to talk about this anymore."

Chandler let out a heavy sigh. "Fine. If you insist on not telling me what's been bothering you, then I'm not going to push the issue anymore. We can let it drop. But I'm pleading with you right now to give me…to give us… another chance. You're one of the best detectives I've ever worked with and I don't know what I'd do without you. Please just accept my apologies for anything I may have done and let's move on."

Kent immediately felt his heart sink but he couldn't stop the words from coming out of his mouth. "I really think it would be best if I transferred. It's just not working out for me here anymore."

"What isn't working out? For god's sake Kent! Please just tell me what I did!"

"I told you that it has nothing to do with anything you did! It's me! It's my problem!" Kent shouted back and rose from the table. He could feel the burning sting forming in his eyelids again. "Please! Just leave me alone!"

Chandler grabbed onto Kent's arm as he started to walk away. "Not until we settle this."

"Just piss off!" Kent snapped back as he yanked his arm out of Chandler's grasp and ran out the door.

"Kent! Stop!" Chandler yelled out as he followed Kent up the street before he finally caught him by the arm.

Kent spun around to face his boss. By this time, a stream of tears were sliding down the sides of his face and his voice was trembling. "Don't you fucking get it?!"

"No! I don't get it! How can I?! You won't bloody tell me!"

"I'm fucking in love with you! Okay?! Are you happy now?!" Kent instantly froze in fear. He couldn't believe those words had just escaped from his mouth. His head began to spin and for a moment he wasn't sure if this was all a dream or not.

"You're what?" Chandler stammered.

"Just… forget it! Just leave me alone! Please!"

Chandler stood frozen in place. He wasn't sure if he had heard Kent correctly.

Kent ran toward his scooter parked nearby and fumbled for his keys before speeding off down the road, leaving Chandler alone in stunned silence.

Almost two days had passed at the station without any word from Kent. In any other circumstance, Chandler would have immediately phoned him to make sure that everything was alright, but this time he couldn't bring himself to do it. He didn't know what to say to the younger man. Since that morning in front of the fish-and-chips shop, Chandler had thought back to all their previous encounters and everything had started to make sense. All the backhanded jokes from Mansell… the awkward stares… it all now made sense.

"I'm fucking in love with you!"

The words still rang in Chandler's ears as he reached for the jar of Tiger Balm and rubbed it on his temples. He was at a total loss as to what to make of all of this. He knew he ought to have felt more uncomfortable about the whole situation. After all, he had never heard those words spoken to him by another man and he wasn't sure how to react to all of it. But something deep inside sent a sweet tingle up his arms and he couldn't help but replay those words in his mind over and over again.

Chandler glanced down at the transfer authorization form that still sat on his desk. He already knew that he wasn't ever going to sign it. That was out of the question. He didn't want Kent to leave. But how was this going to affect their working relationship? What would people think if they found out? If this had been anybody else, Chandler would have been more concerned with his own reputation. But this was Kent, and for some reason, Chandler was more concerned with how people would treat the young detective if they ever found out. Mansell and some of the other constables in the station would be ruthless about it. Chandler thought back to the look in Kent's tear-stained eyes. It must have taken him so much courage to say those words and Chandler didn't want him to be mocked and ridiculed by anybody if it ever got out.

"Sir? Do you have a moment?" Riley knocked delicately on Chandler's open door.

"Yes. Come in, Riley. What can I do for you?"

"Umm… I've talked to Kent. He said he hasn't been feeling well so he'll be taking a few days' sick leave."

"Thank you. Tell him I hope he feels better," Chandler replied distractedly.

Riley stood in the doorway in awkward silence, before adding, "He also told me what happened."

Chandler immediately looked up at her. He could feel his cheeks burn red and his heart began to beat faster. "What did he say?"

"He just told me what he had told you. I'm sure he'd never want me to butt in and talk to you, but he feels terrible about what happened. I hope you're not upset with him."

"Of course I'm not upset with him," Chandler replied quietly. "In fact, I'm the one who should be sorry."

"What would you have to be sorry about?"

Chandler dropped his gaze down from Riley and sighed. "I honestly don't know. But I just feel responsible. I shouldn't have pushed him like I did, but I didn't know what else to do. I thought I'd done something to upset him, and I wanted to know what it was. But I had no idea it would be something like this."

"Well, I'm sorry if it made you feel uncomfortable," Riley replied with concern.

"It didn't," Chandler hesitated. "I'm just not sure how to handle it. I don't want things to be awkward between us now."

"Well, I know it's not my place, but knowing Kent, I think it would be best just pretend it never happened and treat him like you normally would. I'm sure if he knew that it made you uncomfortable, he'd never forgive himself."

Chandler shifted his eyes away from Riley. He knew she was right. It would be best to just get on with it and pretend it never happened. But he knew things would never be the same between them. How could it possibly ever be? Chandler thought about Kent and wondered what the younger DC was thinking about at that moment, wherever he was. Was he thinking about him?

"Did he say when he'd be returning?" Chandler asked as he shook himself out his thoughts.

"Not really," she replied, before glancing down at the blue form at the side of Chandler's desk. "Are you still going ahead with the transfer?"

"No, of course not. I don't want him to leave. I was just upset the other day and I said things I didn't mean. But considering the circumstances, if he feels he'd be better off working for someone else, then I suppose I can't stop him."

Riley sighed with relief. "Well then, I'll see what I can do to change his mind. I don't want him to leave either."

Chandler spoke up just as Riley had turned to walk out the door, "Riley, I hope you'll keep this between us. I don't want it getting out and causing a problem for him."

"You don't have to worry about that, boss. My lips are sealed."

"And if you speak to him again, be sure to tell him that I hope he feels better soon and that I'm looking forward to having him back at work."

"Will do," she replied with a smile.

"Since when do you smoke?" Liam asked Kent as he joined him on the balcony of their flat.

"Since today," Kent replied shortly. He let out a puff of smoke and watched it drift away in the faint breeze. Kent had stopped smoking since he had been accepted into the police force; but with everything that had just happened over the past few days, he needed a release and a cigarette was the only thing that could provide one at that moment.

"Well, why aren't you at work?"

"I'm taking a few days off. I needed a break from that place."

"I'm not surprised, mate. After all the shit you see everyday."

"It's not that. I… I told my boss I was in love with him," Kent replied quietly as he took another hit of his cigarette.

"You bloody didn't!" Liam replied incredulously. "What did he say?! Do you think he'll give you the sack?!"

"I dunno. He probably will the minute I show my face again at that place." Kent thought back to that morning and his face burned red with embarrassment. What could he have been possibly thinking of by telling Chandler he was in love with him? There was no way that Chandler would feel comfortable around him at this point. Kent would never be able to face him again.

"Was he surprised?" Liam went on, "I mean, you're always bloody going on about him around us. What did he say when you told him?"

"He didn't fucking say anything, but I'm sure he can't stand the sight of me now. Shit! What have I bloody done?! How can I face him?!"

"Well, if he's gay or bi, then…"

"He's straight," Kent interjected. "Believe me."

"Then that bloody sucks out loud, mate," Liam joked. "I'm sorry… I wish I knew what to say. At least you got it out in the open though. But straight blokes aren't worth the trouble. Take it from me."

"Gee, thanks for your support," Kent replied sarcastically.

"Well, what do you expect me to say, Em? Fall in love with a straight man and the only thing you'll get in return is a broken heart. We've all been there. It never works," Liam replied as he took Kent's cigarette and helped himself to a drag. "You're better off with your own kind."

"You think I don't know that?! I hate myself for feeling this way, but I can't help it. And now I've just made a bloody epic fool of myself."

"Well, if and when you go back to work, just pretend like it never happened. Don't say anything more about it. If you go on like normal, then he'll get the message that you just want to put it behind you. And pray to god that he does too or it could get bloody awkward for you."

Kent didn't reply. He simply stared at the tower blocks in the distance and took another drag of his cigarette. He had never felt so stupid in his entire life. How was he ever going to put this behind him? There was no question that he had to transfer to another department now.

"Well anyway, the boyfriend's coming 'round tonight and he's bringing a new guy with him. You wanna stick around and meet him? He just might be able to take your mind off things," Liam said with a wink.

"Ugh, no. Are you kidding me? I'm locking myself in my room indefinitely. I'm not in the mood and I look like shit."

Just then, the buzzer rang at their front door and Liam sprang back into the flat. "Sounds like they're here!" he exclaimed as he trailed off.

Kent immediately stubbed out his cigarette on the ledge and rushed back into the flat toward his room.

"Is Emerson Kent here?" Riley asked as Liam opened the door.

"Yep, but he's locked up in his room, hiding from the light of day. Who should I say is here?"

"I'm Meg Riley, love. We work together. Is he doing okay?"

"Well, he's definitely seen better days. I take it you're here about what happened at work," Liam replied knowingly.

"Yes, I just wanted to check up on the lad and see how he's doing. Do you mind if I just go back to his room?" Riley asked warily.

"Not at all. Second door to your left."

Riley glanced around Kent's flat and smiled to herself as she made her way to his bedroom. It was exactly like she'd imagined it: tidy and small, just like Kent himself.

"Kent, love, it's Riley," She called out as she knocked gingerly on his door. "May I come in?"

Kent immediately opened his bedroom door to see Riley standing there. For a moment he hesitated saying anything, afraid of what she'd say in return.

"How are you feeling, love?" she asked with concern.

"You can probably guess," he replied sarcastically as he showed her into his room and sat on the edge of his bed.

"I just wanted to check up on you. We've missed you at the office."

Kent looked down at his hands and began picking at a fingernail. "I've missed you too," he replied quietly.

Riley studied the young detective for a moment before adding, "I told the boss that you were on sick leave for a few days."

"What did he say? Has my transfer gone through yet?" he replied without looking up.

"No, and he has no plans of signing it. I also had a chat with him about what happened."

"You what?!" Kent looked up incredulously.

"Don't be angry, love. Everything's going to be alright. He's not upset about what happened the other day. In fact, he was more concerned with how you were doing. He wants you to come back to work."

"How could he not be upset?! I just told a bloody straight man that I was in love with him!"

"It's really not as bad as you think it is! I promise you. Chandler's a lot more reasonable than you think. Just give him a chance, love. Nobody else has to know about what happened. Just go back to work and pretend it never happened and get on with it."

"How can I pretend it never happened?! I just made a bloody ass out of myself in front of my boss!

Riley let out an exasperated sigh. "Listen, love. There's no use crying over spilled milk at this point. What's done is done and now you've just got to move on. Just give it a few days and things will get back to normal."

Kent didn't look up to meet her gaze. The thought of returning to work after what had just happened left a nervous, sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. But deep down, he knew he had to face Chandler sooner or later.