Author's Note: I'm sorry for taking so long to upload this chapter, but for a while there, I had a serious case of writer's block. But I think you'll find after reading this chapter that it was well worth the wait **wink, wink, wink**. I hope you enjoy it!

Chandler sat alone in his flat and stared intently at the mobile phone on the coffee table in front of him. Kent hadn't returned to the station in almost four days and it was starting to worry him to the point that he wasn't able to keep his mind on anything else at work. More than once, he'd found himself staring from his office out at Kent's empty desk, hoping to catch a glimpse of the young constable suddenly appearing. Every voice that carried through from the incident room would almost instinctively make him look up from whatever he was doing to see if it belonged to that familiar face with the mop of curly hair and wide, brown eyes.

"To be honest sir, he's very embarrassed about what happened and I think he's afraid that you're mad at him," Riley had confessed to him when he'd cornered her about Kent.

"Of course I'm not mad at him! What makes him think I'd be mad at him? I just want to put this behind us and have him come back to work."

But as much as Chandler wouldn't care to admit, it was more than that. Something strange and deeply uncomfortable inside of him really missed Kent. It was a kind of longing that felt almost unquenchable. Why did he miss him so much? What was it that made him feel so empty without seeing Kent's smiling, eager face?

Chandler loosened his tie and reached for the mobile phone but pulled back almost immediately. As much as he wanted to place the call, he couldn't bring himself to do it. What would he possibly think of to say to him after what had happened? What if Kent refused to talk to him?

Feeling defeated, Chandler rose from the impeccable sofa and poured himself a fresh glass of white wine, downing it in a single gulp while intermittently looking back over at his mobile phone.

This is ridiculous! Just call him and get it over with, you bloody idiot, he thought to himself as he poured another glass and walked cautiously back toward the sofa. Chandler picked up the phone and began scrolling through the list of names until he reached Kent's number but he couldn't bring himself to dial. He simply stared at the name shining on the screen and thought back to his DC's final words to him. He could still hear the words echoing in his mind and he immediately felt his cheeks burn red.

"Don't you get it?! I'm in love with you!"

Chandler gulped down the remaining wine in his glass and dialed Kent's number. He shut his eyes and counted the seemingly endless rings before a soft, unsteady voice answered on the other end.

"Hello?"

"Uh, Kent? It's DI Chandler."

"Oh… um… hello sir," the gentle voice replied.

"I just… um… we haven't heard from you in a few days and I was just wondering if everything was alright. We've all missed you down at the station and I just wanted to know when you think you'll be coming in," Chandler stammered nervously.

There was silence on the other end of the line but Chandler still sensed a presence. "Kent? Are you still there?"

"Um, yes sir. I'm sorry. I, um… I'm not sure when I'll be coming in. I haven't felt well and I thought I'd take a few days off. I'm sorry I didn't ring you before."

"Kent, listen… if this has something to do with what happened the other day, you don't have to worry. I'm not angry with you."

"Kent?" Chandler persisted after a momentary silence on the other end.

"I'm really sorry if I made you uncomfortable, sir. I don't know what came over me the other day," the voice replied hesitantly. "I guess I was just angry or something. But it won't happen again. I… I'm really sorry."

Chandler smiled quietly to himself in spite of the awkwardness of this conversation. The softness and fragility in Kent's voice stirred something bittersweet inside of him that he couldn't ignore.

"You didn't make me feel uncomfortable at all. I just hope that we can put this all behind us and get back to work."

"What about my transfer?"

"I never had any intention of signing it, Kent. You're an integral part of our team and we don't want to lose you. But I… I guess that's up to you. Would you prefer to be moved to another department?"

Chandler became slightly nervous when his question was met with silence on the other end.

"Kent? I said do you wa—"

"No," the voice replied quietly.

"Well then, excellent. Let's just put this behind us and get on with it," Chandler declared with a beaming smile.

"I just don't want to make things awkward for you. I really shouldn't have said anything the other day."

"Kent, it's fine. I promise you. I wasn't offended at all. You don't have anything to worry about."

"Thank you, sir. I'll be in tomorrow morning."

Chandler ended the call and dropped the mobile next to him on the sofa. He leaned back against the cushion, shut his eyes and couldn't help but smile to himself.

Kent arrived at the station the following morning and tried to make himself as inconspicuous as possible. Except for a few puzzled comments regarding his absence, nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. Riley appeared to be out following a lead and Mansell was obnoxiously bragging to a few other constables about his date the previous night. Kent carefully placed his scooter helmet on his desk and sat down to the overflowing pile of paperwork taking over. He immediately began sorting through the seemingly endless heap of witness statements and crime scene reports, all while carefully trying to resist the temptation to look over toward Chandler's office.

The recent memory of what happened almost a week ago in front of the fish-and-chips shop still burned in his mind like a bad dream. He would never forget the look of total shock on his DI's face when he yelled out the secret that had been eating him alive for almost three years.

What was I bloody thinking?! he cringed to himself. I'll never be able to live this down.

Kent burned red with embarrassment and tried to think about something else, anything else. He just wanted to completely forget about how much of an ass he'd made of himself. He couldn't even imagine how uncomfortable and awkward Chandler must have felt after what had happened. Any other man would have probably punched him in the face if he ever admitted to them what he'd admitted to Chandler. It was very mature and kind of his DI to be so forgiving about what had happened. But then again, Chandler was always so formal and reserved about everything that he probably felt like he didn't have any other choice but to excuse Kent for what happened. Either that or Riley must have talked him into it.

"Oi, mate, did you catch the Manchester game on telly last night?" Mansell asked as he sat on the edge of Kent's desk. "It was unreal!"

Kent simply ignored him and kept his focus on sorting through his paperwork.

"Oh, I take it you're a Liverpool supporter then," Mansell stated with a smirk.

"I don't follow football," Kent finally replied curtly.

Mansell quietly scrutinized his partner for a moment before adding, "I hear Riley's invited us all to a party at her house on Friday. You bringing anybody?"

"A party for what?" Kent looked up and eyed Mansell suspiciously.

"I dunno. But if there's gonna be beer involved, I don't give a rat's arse what it's for. So… you going?"

"I don't know," Kent replied softly. "I might have other plans… I'll have to see." He already knew what his answer would be though. He wanted to go for Riley's sake. But with everything that had happened over the past week, he was terrified to face Chandler in an informal, social setting. At least at the station, his only interaction with his boss would be work-related. But in a social setting when nobody was thinking about work, it would be entirely different. What would he say to him? What if Chandler spent the entire evening ignoring and avoiding him?

What was worse, was the possibility of having to sit there alone watching Chandler happily cavorting around with whoever he ended up bringing as a date. And apart from all that, Kent was in no mood to be forced to socialize with the likes of Mansell. It was bad enough having to put up with him at the station when he was sober. But the thought of having to endure his partner while he was drunk was something that nightmares were made of.

Kent looked up Mansell with a slight look of disgust just as Miles walked by with that all-too-frequent scowl on his face.

"Oi, Skip! So what's this party all about then?" Mansell called out to him.

"The boss thinks it would be a good idea for all of us to get together outside of work… give us a chance to unwind and take the edge off. Riley and her bloke volunteered their place for the occasion, so that's that. You both planning to attend?" he asked, eyeing them both carefully.

"Bloody hell ya!" Mansell replied enthusiastically.

Miles then directed his attention to Kent and asked in his best deadpan voice, "What about you, lad? You coming as well or are you too good for the rest of us?"

"Maybe. I'll have to see if I've made other plans, though."

"Oh rubbish! I want to see you there with your best dancing shoes on and I've personally seen to it that there will be karaoke. So you better start practicing."

Kent rolled his eyes and took a deep breath.

He usually didn't care for these types of social situations, especially with people from work. He wasn't ever very comfortable with the though of having to endure forced conversation with people with whom he had nothing in common. Kent was the type who was always much more keen on sitting in a dingy pub listening to local bands than singing cheesy karaoke tunes with a bunch of older married people. And in this case, the idea of having to spend anymore time than he had to with Mansell made him cringe.

"He'll be there," Mansell replied to Miles as he gave a Kent a rough pat on the back. "I'll see to it personally."

"I can speak for myself, you know," Kent replied with visible annoyance after Miles had left.

"Well, you haven't been speaking up very much lately. What's the matter with you, anyway? Some girl chucked you over for another bloke?"

Kent immediately shot him a cold glare. "No. It's none of your business."

"Oh, come on, mate! Don't be like that," Mansell went on as he placed a hand on Kent's shoulder. "Lately, you've been walking around here like you're on the bloody rag."

"Piss off, you wanker!"

Mansell simply laughed to himself and walked back to his desk.

The rest of day went by quicker than Kent had anticipated or even wanted it to. Apart from the paperwork he had to catch up on from the previous few days, the squad's caseload was unusually light, which was a welcome relief to him. But it also unfortunately gave him extra time to stew over his situation. Chandler still hadn't come out of his office, which made Kent even more nervous. Even though the DI had told him that everything was okay over the telephone, there was still no telling whether or not he really meant it. What if it was going to be like this from now on? What if Chandler was so uncomfortable around him after what had happened that he was going to go out of his way to avoid him now?

Kent's heart sank at the thought.

What have I done? he sighed heavily to himself.

Kent tried to keep his focus on the paperwork in front of him, but he couldn't help himself. He slowly lifted his eyes toward Chandler's open office door and let them settle in on the man sitting at the desk. The older detective seemed to be working intently on his laptop computer; but almost immediately, he looked up and their eyes locked together. Kent instantly felt his cheeks burn red and his heart began to pound faster.

Stop staring at him! You're just making it worse!

Kent tried with all his might to pull his eyes away from Chandler's stare, but there was something in the older man's gaze that wouldn't let him break free. It was so intense that it shot an almost irresistible sensation up and down Kent's spine and he felt his head swimming. He felt as if he was being pulled into the deep blue eyes staring back at him intently and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't pull away.

Chandler finally gave him a slight nod of recognition and Kent managed to pull his eyes back down toward his desk. He face felt so hot that he was sure everybody else around him could sense it too.

What the bloody hell just happened? he exclaimed to himself as he tried to catch his breath.

"Kent…"

He looked up in surprise to see Chandler approaching his desk hesitantly.

"It's good to see you back. I hope you're feeling better," Chandler stated with a smile.

Kent could feel the dry stickiness forming in his mouth as he tried to reply, but couldn't.

Chandler looked down momentarily before returning his gaze. "I take it you'll be at Riley's party on Friday."

"I just heard about it. I… um… I'll probably stop by but I don't know how long I'll stay."

"Well, we'd love it if you can make it. I hope it will give us all the chance to clear the air and relax," Chandler replied.

"Yeah, I guess so," was all Kent could reply. He moved reflexively in his chair and was sure his fidgetiness was embarrassingly obvious.

Chandler stared at Kent for a brief moment as if in thought, before adding, "Are you planning to bring anyone?"

"I… um… no. Not really," Kent replied with a nervous, forced smile.

"Well, I guess I'd better get back to work. I'm glad you're back with us."

Kent sensed a slight smile peek out from the DI's face and he simply nodded carefully in response. He wasn't sure how to react to this gesture.

Chandler hesitated momentarily as if he wanted to say something, but then swiftly turned on his heel and walked back into his office leaving Kent sitting alone at his desk, completely baffled by what had just occurred.

Chandler carefully studied the wristwatch and fountain pen placed neatly beside each other on his desk and he couldn't figure out which one wasn't aligned correctly. He gave the pen a slight nudge with the tip of his finger, but it still didn't look right. Chandler knew from experience that he usually resorted to this type of behavior when something was on his mind, but for the life of him, he couldn't figure out what it was.

Or maybe he didn't want to know what it was.

It was a strange and unsettling sensation of longing that made his chest ache.

Why do I feel like this?! he pleaded to himself.

The gentle brown eyes… The soft lips and dimpled cheeks…

Chandler shut his eyes tightly and tried to recoil from the images lingering in his mind but they wouldn't disappear and the words that he'd heard in shock almost a week ago suddenly vibrated in his head. As much as he tried not to, he found himself replaying that voice, over and over again.

What in god's name are you thinking?! You've got to stop all this. It isn't right!

"Oi!"

Chandler was shaken from his thoughts as Miles entered his office abruptly.

"What the hell's the matter with you?" Miles exclaimed. "You've got the look of a man who's got his balls in the blender."

"Lay off, Miles," Chandler replied wearily.

"Well, snap out of it, because you've got a date on Friday night."

Chandler shot a startled look. "What?! With who?!"

"I already told you! Don't you remember? Judy's niece, Charlotte. We told her all about you and she's rather keen on meeting you. Judy's already given her the invite."

Chandler let out an audible groan and rolled his eyes. "No, Miles! I already told you. I'm not interested. How many times do I need to spell it out for you?!"

"Oh, rubbish. How do you know you won't like her unless you give her a chance? We've already invited her to the party so you might as well give it a go."

Chandler gave Miles a stern glare and clenched his jaw. "For the last time: no. I'm not going to say it again."

"Well, pardon me," Miles replied sarcastically. "I'm just trying to look out for you. What the hell am I supposed to tell her? She's already planning to attend!"

"You can tell her that I'm already taken."

"By who?!" Miles responded with an exaggerated laugh.

"Nobody… nevermind. Just… just tell her whatever you like but don't get me involved," Chandler replied shortly.

"You do realize that you're getting older by the minute, don't you? Before you know it, you'll be a bloody old spinster."

"Well, maybe I like things the way they are now," Chandler replied coldly.

"Listen, I never said you had to propose marriage in the first five minutes! Just talk to her and see how you get on. She's going to be there anyway, so you might as well say hello. I could just as well pass her off to Kent, but that lad's still in nappies."

"I highly doubt Kent would be interested either," Chandler muttered but quickly caught himself.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing," Chandler answered hastily. "Let's just drop it, shall we?"

"I'm really glad you've decided to come, love," Riley said to Kent as they exited the station together. "It wouldn't be the same without you. And I promise I'll protect you from Mansell if he gets too bloody awful."

"But what about him? What if he brings some beautiful woman and they spend the entire night in each others' arms, just rubbing it in my face?" Kent replied.

"Oh, come off it, lad. There's no need to be so melodramatic about it. Anyway, as far as I know, he's not bringing anybody," Riley stated encouragingly. "From what I hear from Skip, the boss is off dating. So that may be your ticket in," she winked.

"Oh, don't be ridiculous. He'd sooner shag Buchan than even look at me."

Riley studied him for a moment in quiet thought, then replied, "I think you're giving the DI a lot less credit than he's due. Just give him a chance... I think you'd be surprised."

"But the problem is he won't give me a chance. I all but blew that ship out of the frigging water when I told him I was bloody in love with him! God! What the fuck was I thinking when I did that?! I mean… what would you do if some woman came up to you and said that?!"

"Well… at first I'd be flattered… then I'd start running," Riley joked.

"Oh, ha-ha," Kent replied with sarcastic annoyance. "It's not bloody funny. I've never felt such a fool in my entire life."

Riley sighed in defeat. "Well, just come and stick with me the whole night. We'll have our own laughs and the boys can do their own thing. It'll be loads of fun."

Kent started his scooter and drove off into the dusk thinking about his boss. The chilly London air tingled his exposed neck and he couldn't help wondering what Chandler's fingers would have felt like touching him. But it was useless to wonder. It was never going to happen no matter how much he wanted it to. He was never going to be able to find out what it must have felt like to be wrapped in Chandler's strong arms like Morgan undoubtedly did. And he hated her for it. He didn't want to, but he couldn't help it.

She'd gotten everything that Kent wanted. And she knew it, too.

It was written all over that cold stare she'd given him that day in the witness room. It was obvious that she knew he was jealous of her. How could it not be obvious? He practically gave himself away every time he glared at her. But it really wasn't her fault, and it wasn't Chandler's fault either. Kent really had no one else to blame but himself. He was in love with someone who could never love him back and there was nothing else to it.

I love you so much, he whispered as he felt the sting of tears pierce his eyes.

The loud thump of music booming from inside Riley's house unnerved Chandler as he approached the front door holding a bottle of wine. He'd been dreading this moment all week. It wasn't that he was against his staff having fun on a quiet Friday night. God knows they all needed it at the moment. But he didn't know how to fit in; he didn't have it in him to relax and be carefree like the rest of them. At every other party he'd ever been to with his staff, he would always end up standing to the side and watching everybody else let loose. He always wanted to join them; but he as much as he tried, he didn't know how to.

Chandler carefully knocked on the door and then shut his eyes and took a deep breath, preparing himself for the onslaught of the loud, drunken voices coming from inside.

"Come in, boss! Come in!" Riley exclaimed upon opening the door. She was holding a half-empty bottle of lager, and Chandler could tell by looking into her eyes that she was already feeling the effects of her drink.

"Come in and make yourself at home. It's all very casual tonight, so there's no need to be nervous," she went on, as if sensing his apprehension.

Chandler followed her into the sitting room where a larger crowd than he'd expected was mingling. He glanced carefully over the faces around them, taking note of his staff as well as a few other constables from the station. He also noticed a few other faces which he didn't recognize, which made him even more nervous.

"I hope you don't mind, but I invited a few of the neighbors over as well," Riley slurred to him in a hushed voice. "I wanted this to be a right party."

"That's quite alright. The more the merrier," Chandler replied with a forced smile.

"Oi! The boss is here!" Mansell yelled from the crowd and raised his glass. "Now we can get this party really started!"

Chandler smiled apprehensively and waved in return. He truly felt like a fish out of water and would have given anything at this moment to sneak out the door, but he knew he had to be there to support his staff. He was well aware that they all secretly thought of him as an uptight stick-in-the-mud, and the last thing he wanted to do was perpetuate that notion.

Chandler glanced around and noticed that Riley had left his side to join Kent on the sofa. They both appeared to be laughing at something that Riley had apparently just said, and Chandler couldn't help but focus in on the dimples on his DC's smiling cheeks. There was something adorable and sweet about Kent, Chandler thought to himself. He immediately became aware that he was staring at his constable, but for some reason, he couldn't pull his eyes away. He smiled to himself as he tried to imagine what they were laughing about and he wondered what kinds of things Kent would have found funny or amusing. What was Kent like outside of work? What did he like to do on his off-days?

Chandler was lost in his thoughts before he realized that Kent was staring back at him. His eyes immediately locked with the young DC's from across the room and for a brief moment, Chandler felt himself become dizzy.

"Boss! There's someone I want you to meet!"

Chandler immediately recognized the voice behind him and flinched.

Oh god. Not now of all times, he sighed to himself as he turned around to face Miles and his wife Judy. Standing between them was a young woman he could only guess as being Charlotte.

"This here is Judy's niece, Charlotte. She's down visiting from Bedford. I thought you two might have a lot in common, seeing as how she took several courses in sociology at Oxford," Miles stated with a knowing look.

Chandler gave a forced smile and offered a handshake. "It's very nice to meet you, Charlotte."

"Likewise," she replied with an eager smile that was all-too self-aware. "Uncle Ray has told me about a lot of the cases you've investigated together. Very impressive, I must say."

"Thank you," Chandler replied quietly.

"Well, we'll leave the both of you to it," Miles interjected before taking his wife by the arm and leading her away quickly. Chandler eyes glazed over with annoyance as he watched Miles and Judy walk away.

He could have killed his sergeant at that very moment. What was he supposed to bloody talk about with this girl?! It was bad enough that he was there alone, but to be forced into conversation with someone he had absolutely no interest in was the absolute limit.

"So… how long have you been head of the Whitechapel force?" Charlotte asked uneasily, as if sensing Chandler's uneasiness.

"Oh… um… a little over three years, I guess," Chandler replied distractedly as he let his eyes wander back over to the sofa on the other end of the large room. He immediately noticed that Kent had been watching him, but the latter instantly redirected his gaze when Chandler's eyes met his. There was a noticeable expression in Kent's eyes and Chandler almost intuitively knew what the younger man was thinking. The more Chandler thought about that look in Kent's eyes, the more he wanted to distance himself from this girl. Something instinctive inside of him wanted to make sure that Kent knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that he wasn't interested in her.

"Well, it was very nice to meet you… um… Charlotte," Chandler stated abruptly. "Good luck with your new career."

"Oh… thank you," she replied in a perplexed and deflated tone as Chandler immediately walked away.

Kent took a sizeable swig of his lager and glanced around the crowded room from his vantage point on the sofa. His heart was still aching after what he'd just seen, but at that moment, he'd convinced himself to try and push it out of his mind. Riley was right. He needed to move on. For his own sake, he couldn't allow himself to be in love with Chandler anymore because it could only end up destroying him inside.

Sooner or later, his boss was going to find the woman of his dreams and probably marry her and have a big family and Kent knew that he had to accept that. He looked around at the different men milling around the room and wished he could meet someone new. At this point, it didn't matter who it was. He just wanted to find someone to replace Chandler in his heart. Kent glanced around at all the people laughing and carrying on and at that moment, he'd never felt more alone in his life.

"You look rather pensive at the moment," Buchan declared as he sat down next Kent. "A penny for your thoughts?"

"I guess I'm just not in the mood for a party tonight. I think I'm going to go pretty soon," Kent sighed quietly.

"Oh, you can't leave yet, lad. We haven't even done the limbo line yet!"

Kent shot him a sardonic glance. "Well, that's not really my scene," he replied sarcastically.

"You need to lighten up, m'boy," Buchan answered. "I get the feeling that you take everything far too seriously. You only have one life to live so you might as well make the most of it."

Kent looked thoughtfully at Buchan. The older man was right; Kent had been miserable for too long and he was tired of it. He wanted to know what it was like to be happy again. But it was easier said than done. He didn't know if he had what it took to end his feelings for Chandler and the very thought daunted him.

"Ah, sir! It's good to see you out of your office!" Buchan suddenly exclaimed.

Kent looked up to see Chandler approaching them.

"Here, take a seat. I'm just going to go freshen my drink," Buchan declared as he rose from the sofa and offered his spot to Chandler. "And while you're at it, try and cheer this lad up a bit."

Kent could feel his muscles stiffen as Chandler sat down next to him on the sofa. He was at a total loss words and the awkward silence coming from his DI wasn't helping matters.

"I'm glad you came," Chandler finally said as he glanced over at Kent.

"Thank you, sir."

"I thought I'd come join you because I rather feel out of place here, to tell you the truth," Chandler added with a nervous laugh.

Kent offered a quick glance in return and replied tensely, "You're not the only one. In fact, I think I'm going to leave in a few minutes."

'That doesn't sound like a bad idea. How did you get here, by the way? I didn't see your scooter out front."

"I rode the tube. I figured I'd be too drunk to drive home, but now I wish I'd just taken my scooter, because I'm not nearly as drunk as I thought I'd be," Kent replied while anxiously clearing his throat.

There was a momentary silence between them as Kent tried to think of something to say. He noticed through the corner of his eye that the other man appeared to be casually glancing around the room and it was at that moment that Chandler adjusted his leg slightly and the sides of their knees met. Kent immediately felt a startling bolt of electricity shoot through his entire body that was so powerful it left his head feeling almost delirious. He sat completely still, waiting for Chandler to notice the contact between them and move his leg. But he didn't. Kent licked his dry lips and gulped nervously as the seconds wore on like minutes.

After what seemed like an eternity, Chandler finally adjusted his leg and cleared his throat. "Um… I could give you a lift if you'd like."

Kent was speechless.

What the fuck is happening right now. Oh Jesus.

"Um… that's not necessary sir. I don't want to put you out," he finally stammered.

"It's no trouble at all. I was… um… I was thinking about leaving soon myself."

"What about your date?"

"My date?!" Chandler asked incredulously.

"Um… that girl you were with."

"Oh, she's not my date. Far from it," Chandler replied quickly. "She was just a niece of Judy's. I came alone."

"I really don't want to inconvenience you, sir. My flat is right by the tube station." Kent slid his visibly trembling hands underneath his thighs to hide them. His head was spinning out of control.

"It's no trouble at all. Trust me," Chandler replied quietly as he gazed into his DC's eyes.