Chapter20

He said, "I love you."

My jaw dropped, if we weren't in Spanish I would've responded with something better than, "We're gonna need to talk about this." I didn't say it back. I couldn't say it back. This threw my, taking it decently slow, plan out.

The bell rang and I didn't move, neither did Noah. He looked at me, "Well?"

"We'll talk after school, okay? I won't go on a date with that Dave guy. We'll talk later." I respond as I slowly stand up and head to my next class. His words echoed in my head the entire day "I love you."

I should be overjoyed; he wanted to be with me. For some reason I felt awful. Maybe it was because I couldn't say it back, but I felt like a terrible human being.

Lunch rolls around and I decide that I'll sit with Kurt, Mercedes, Tina, and Artie for the day. Normally I sit with Noah, Finn, Rachel, Quinn, and sometimes Brittany and Santana. I sit down and Mercedes glares at me as if I've overstepped a boundary.

"Can I sit here?" I ask softly.

Artie nods, "Sure, Scar."

Mercedes just rolls her eyes and looks in the opposite direction. Kurt isn't there yet so he can't tell me what I did to upset her.

"I'm sorry, Mercedes, did I offend you in some way?" I address the situation.

"Let's get something straight, Kurt is my best friend and I don't trust just anyone hanging around him." She says.

I respond taken aback, "No offense, Mercedes, but I've known Kurt longer, and I've been his friend since he was born. If anyone should be overprotective it should be me!"

She's about to answer when Scott sits down. We both glare at him; apparently we have a common enemy. Kurt's not with him, so I assume Kurt's buying lunch. Mercedes and I make eye contact, we both make an understanding. This could be quite the dysfunctional friendship, but as long as Scott's around it's our job to make sure he doesn't hurt Kurt.

I spot Noah looking around the lunch room; he spots me and drops his head. I feel guilty, but I need time to absorb everything. I smile weakly to him, as he goes to sit next to Rachel who's probably going on about an arrangement of one of the glee club songs.

Kurt finally gets to the table. He smiles as he puts his lunch tray down next to Scott. As he's about to sit down, Scott grabs Kurt by the waist and pulls him unto his lap. Kurt blushes a deep red and I can tell he's uncomfortable with the public display of affection. Scott nibbles on Kurt's ear and Kurt gets even redder than before.

Mercedes and I exchange glances, we don't like this guy. He seems sketchy. I look at Artie who seems quite uncomfortable. Tina's jaw drops as she sees Scott whisper something into Kurt's ear.

I clear my throat as I ask Artie, "So how's everything going with Abby?"

He shrugs still looking wide-eyed at Kurt and Scott.

I glance over to where Noah's sitting; he's just playing with his food, not really eating much. I feel a plunge of guilt in my stomach.

Kurt taps my shoulder and I jump. He's still on Scott's lap but it's no longer as awkward because Scott stopped being insanely affectionate. "You okay, Scar?"

"I'll tell you later," is all I can manage to say.

I get up and I walk into the hallway. I just need to get out of there. I walk into the bathroom where I see Santana.

"Well, well, I was just going to talk to you!" Santana snaps at me.

"Oh," I say surprised, "What about?"

"Stay away from, Puck! Clear?" She says as if I'll just do what she says.

"No, actually," I answer, "I don't think I will."

She raises her eyebrows at me, "I don't think I was asking."

I shrug, "I don't care. You don't scare me! I'm room New York, sweetie, I've seen a lot of things much scarier than you. So unless you want to get hurt, stay away from me. I can handle myself just fine, can you say the same?"

Her jaw dropped as I left the bathroom. I nearly ran into Kurt. He was crying.

"Kurt, what's wrong?" I ask him concerned.

"Scott. He's just so touchy. I don't like it!" Kurt cries into my shoulder.

I hold him close, he cries his heart out. "Kurt, it's okay. Have you talked to him about it?"

He sniffs, "Yes, he got really mad. He said that he wants everyone to know that we're going out." Kurt hiccups, "He said that he wants to make sure that no one even looks at me like they want me. No one ever did before, though, so why would they now?"

I hug him tighter as he says, "What am I supposed to do?"

"What does he do?" I ask, unsure that I understand the situation correctly.

Kurt sniffles again, "He touches me, everywhere."

Then it clicks, "Did you tell him 'no?'"

He nods, "He just doesn't care. He thinks that since we had sex, that it's okay to just do those things. He wants everyone to know that he's my boyfriend. He doesn't care how."

Rage is growing inside of me. I want to punch Scott in the balls so hard right now. "Did you threaten to-"

"No, Scar, I'd never! I really like him; it's just that one thing that bothers me." Kurt lies, I know that there's more that Scott does, but I won't make him more upset than he already is.

I nod as he hugs me tighter. Kurt Hummel makes me want to cry. This poor boy has gone through so much. He deserves so much better than this Scott guy.

The bell rings and we're off to separate classes. I hug him tightly before saying goodbye. I walk into my next classroom to see Noah slouching in his seat. My seat is across the classroom, we make eye contact for a second before he looks away. Did I mention that I'm a terrible person?

The whole class I'm staring at Noah. He's doing his best to not look at me. Every once and a while he looks at me and our eyes meet, but then he turns away again.

The day finally ends and I meet him at his locker. "Can we talk?"

He shrugs, "I guess."

"What you said, was probably one of the sweetest things anyone has ever said to me. But I just can't say it back yet. I want to, but I've never said it to anyone before-"

"Neither had I." He says bluntly.

"Really?" I ask softly.

"Yeah," He nods, "and after that, I don't think I'll ever say it again."

"I'm sorry," I answer, "I don't do well with these things."

"With what things?" He demands.

"Emotions! I guess, I take after my dad, I can't handle emotions. I freak out! I'm sorry, you have every right to hate me! I really like you, but I want to take things slowly and I know I said I wanted a relationship, and I do, but I wasn't ready for 'I love you' yet." I sigh, tears running down my face from the stress.

"You really like me?" He asks.

I nod, "A lot."

"You wanna be my girlfriend?" He asks seriously.

I nod again, "I'd be honored."

"Cool." He responds, "So we're going out now?"

I snicker rubbing my eyes, "I guess."

"Will you wear the jacket every day?" He asks still pretty serious.

I nod yet again, "If that's what you want."

"I do want that."

"So I guess I'll wear it every day."

He picks me up and twirls me around. He kisses me sweetly, and I can't help but smile. As we're walking out of the school, I can't help but see Quinn glaring at me from where she is in the parking lot.