Title: Eternal Contemplations
Author: fading_tales
Pairing: Damon/Blair (Vampire Diaries/Gossip Girl cross-over)
Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Diaries, Gossip Girl or any of their characters.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Timing means nothing and everything when you have an eternity to live.

Chapter Nineteen

"Go ahead."

Damon pushes past his brother and makes a beeline to the bottles of whiskey and vodka.

"Say it."

"Say what?" Stefan plays along as he shuts the front door behind him.

Damon raises his glass to Stefan as if in a toast before he downs it in one gulp.

"Say… 'I told you so"."

Stefan crosses his arms

"Katherine compelled me. A century and a half. Wasted."

"Damon…" Stefan begins, unfolding his arms and moving towards his brother.

"Nuh nuh nuh!" Damon tsks, waggling his finger as Stefan's proximity gets closer. "I don't want your pity."

"It's not pity. It's concern," Stefan clarifies. "You know, because I care about you."

"After all I have done… to you, to Elena… to this town. Why would you? I got what I deserved."

"Because I know that it wasn't really you-"

"No. Don't make excuses for me. Everything I've done… every single person I've hurt. That's all on me."

"The fact that you are owning up to it mean you're not all that bad. And it doesn't matter what you've done. I'm your brother and I love you."

"How could anybody love somebody like me?" his tone turns from glib to hoarse and full of self-loathing.

"Blair did."

Another swig of amber liquor empties the bottle.

He chuckles. "That train has left the station," he replies, back to being dismissive.

"Well then buy another ticket and get on another one. It's about the destination, not the train."

When Damon refuses to get up from his position, sprawled on the couch, Stefan throws his hands up in the air in exasperation.

"She'll never forgive me."

"Why don't you try apologizing first and see what happens."

"It's too late…"

"Stop torturing yourself. You're just trying to find excuses to be unsatisfied and unhappy. It's never too late. Seize the moment!"

"Katherine still needs to be dealt with. I kind of just walked out on her… I doubt she'll be in a good mood."

"I can handle Katherine."

"Have you forgotten the last time she got you naked and stabbed?"

"I thought she was Elena."

"Last time I checked they both still have the same face so the chance of being fooled twice isn't as unlikely as you'd like to think."

"Elena and I have developed a system for that."

"Oooh, a system. Sounds fancy."

"Damon," Stefan warns. "Stop deflecting."

"Can't you just let me wallow in peace." He hugs a pillow to his chest, determined to wallow.

"Damon, stop being a whiner and get up off your ass and go find Blair," Stefan sighs. "Besides… what do you got to lose?"

His pride? His dignity? No. He already lost a hundred and fifty years of his life chasing after a manipulative, demented, psychotic bitch. Time wasted by being her naïve, obedient little pet. Risk getting hurt? He's already hurting. He doesn't expect that it could hurt any worse. He's got nothing to lose. It doesn't take too much longer for him to make up his mind.

"Thanks for the pep talk."

Damon pushes himself off the couch, set his glass on the coffee table and pats Stefan on the shoulder as he makes his way to the door. He drives for eight hours straight and winds up in front of the Waldorf house.

xxx

He's the last person she expected.

"What are you doing here?"

"You forgot your stuff in your hurry to leave," he gestures towards the two suitcases by his side.

He flashes her his most disarming smile, but she's not having any of it. She's Blair Waldorf so of course it won't be easy.

"Can we talk?"

She crosses her arm defiantly, ready to launch into some scathing monologue about what a jerk he is, but the look on his face stops her. He's smiling, but it looks like that smile would crack at any moment. He looks oddly… fragile.

"Where's Katherine?" Blair asks, trying to peek over his shoulders. "Is she with you?"

The wince he wasn't careful enough to hide tells her everything.

"It's over."

"How can it be over? Everything you did was for her. Katherine this. Katherine that. It was positively nauseating," she says with an eye roll.

"Yes, I have realized that I have been a fool for a long, long time."

He thought the moment he slammed the door on the way out he'd be able to get over Katherine. After all they weren't even in love. It was all just mind games and illusion. But the moment she is mentioned he freezes up. He doesn't like that Katherine is still capable of upsetting him. Granted, it has been less than twenty-four hours since he had become enlightened.

"What happened? What did she do?"

"Typical Katherine behavior. She compelled me. She used me to get close to my dad. And it wasn't even for a scandalous reason," he jokes.

She doesn't laugh.

"It was all a lie. Everything was a lie. I went through all that trouble for something that wasn't even real."

Blair has never been a fan of Katherine, that much has been clear from the start, but she didn't want this for him. There were many ways she would go about getting rid of Katherine Pierce, but not at the cost of his heartbreak.

"I've always been the one to tell you to let go of Nate, but it seems like I'm the one who doesn't know how to let go."

"I'm sorry."

She doesn't know what else to say. There doesn't exist any words that could quantify just how much her heart breaks for him.

"Don't be. I'm not sorry," he declares dismissively. "I'm relieved!"

That fragile smile of his comes out again, but it doesn't reach his eyes. His jaw ticks in that way it does when he's upset. She reaches out and touches the spot. He brings up his hand to cover hers.

"Do you want to go get a drink?"

His eyes are pleading for her to say yes, so she does. For the moment everything that had happened between them is forgotten. She just knows that he needs her and so she's going to be there for him.

xxx

He finds them an empty, closed pub, breaks open the lock and makes himself at home. He plunks himself down at the deserted bar and fixes himself up a drink. He's gone through two shots of whiskey before she even has time to sit herself down next to him. If he was anyone else, she would have been worried for his health.

"Are you going to just stare at me or are you going to take a drink?" he asks, when she makes no motion to join him.

He pours her a glass of scotch and she downs it in one gulp. For awhile they have a routine worked out. He'd pour and she'd drink.

"Don't you want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what? About how I wasted a century chasing after a daydream? How the woman I thought I loved was basically a combination of a spoilt, bored vampire and some mind tricks? I'm good, thanks," he retorts sharply, slamming his drink down on the table hard enough to crack the glass.

He was able to put up a good enough front for Stefan, but now here with Blair the wounds feels fresh again and his mask is slipping.

He realizes this is not the way to go about repairing his relationship with Blair, but he's nervous and edgy and a billion other things. He's so used to self-sabotage he doesn't know how to function any other way. Maybe rejection would be easier if he knows he messed it up on purpose.

Blair is a bit miffed at his attitude. He's the one asking her to drink with him and now he's building walls around himself and making caustic comments when she was only concerned.

"It's not like it is any worse than what you've done to more than a handful of girls," she points out.

"Yeah, yeah. Karma's a real bitch."

She leans over to him and whispers in his ear, "So is Katherine."

He looks back at her seriously and for a moment she thinks she made him angry, but his lips curl into a genuine smile and she smiles back.

"I'll drink to that," he declares, raising his glass.

They clink their glasses and toast Damon's new found freedom. They continue the evening with more shots and badmouthing Damon's ex-vampire beau.

"You know... it's not really fair that I'm the only one who's going to get smashed."

He chuckles. "I can't exactly do anything about that now can I? Vampires just have better perks than Immunes."

She gives him a dirty look and tries to kick his shins, but he evades her pointy heels.

"But if it makes you feel any better, I'm currently in a very vulnerable state, so you can take advantage of me if you want. In fact I insist!"

She rolls her eyes and ignores his flirty comment much to his disappointment.

"I'm just saying. I'm supposed to be helping you drown your sorrows, but at this rate I don't know if I can stand up straight by myself."

"And here I thought Blair Waldorf was a girl who knew how to hold her liquor."

"We've finished like four bottles!"

"I drank three out of the four!"

"You're undead! You can't get alcohol poisoning!"

"Technicality," he replies, waving off her logic.

"Why do you keep on drinking when it doesn't even affect you?"

"Because I like to pretend that it does. It gives me an excuse."

"An excuse? For what?"

"For telling the truth."

"You don't need to drink to do that." With a sly smile, she adds, "You could just get Bonnie to make you a truth spell."

Ouch. He had thought she had forgotten about that little lapse in judgment. He should've known better. Blair Waldorf never really forgets anything. He just hopes she forgives better than she forgets.

"You know that I didn't want to hurt you, right?"

"I know… I got hurt anyways."

"Blair…"

"No. It's okay. It's not your fault that Nate slept with Serena. You only made him tell me what he should've told me without help from a magic spell."

They fall into a melancholic silence. Five minutes ticks by and Damon's sick of it.

"When did we get so… emo?" he declares. "We are so much better than this. We shouldn't be moping around, we should be partying!"

A smile is playing on her lips again and he wants to keep it there. He spins her around on the bar stool and catches her when she falls out of it laughing.

"What are you doing?" she asks breathlessly.

"Having fun. And you're going to join me."

xxx

They spend the rest of the night dancing on tabletops, singing out of tune and mixing all sorts of crazy concoctions and daring each other to drink it. For the moment, they're just Damon and Blair again. This is the best either of them has felt in a long time.

Eventually the buzz of all the alcohol dies down and Blair is starting to get sleepy. She pillows her cheek with her hand against the cold tabletop of the bar while he makes a mountain out of shreds of a paper napkin besides her.

"So… are you back with Nate?"

He just had to ask.

"Yes," she replies sleepily.

Of course she is. On paper Nate Archibald is perfect and Blair chooses her boyfriends based on their resumes and bank reports. He knew the answer before he even asked, but he wanted to hear her say it. He'll be content enough with just having her, anyway he can have her. Even that means watching her be with some other guy. He tells himself that and yet the next question still stumbles out of his mouth.

"Why?"

He doesn't want her to know about Katherine's involvement in Nate's proposal. He's not going to be the one that breaks her heart again, but maybe... just maybe it doesn't matter because she's not in love with Nate. At least he sincerely hopes she doesn't.

"Because…" She trails off, closing her eyes. Because I couldn't be with you.

She struggles to come up with a better lie, something he won't be able to see through, because she can't tell him the truth.

Blair's eyelids open and close languidly, her slow, steady breath fogs up the glass top of the bar.

"Don't fall asleep now," he complains.

"I'm just thinking…" She yawns. "Of the answer…"

She continues to keep her eyes closed, but moves to lay her head down on his shoulder. He doesn't move, he doesn't breathe, he doesn't want this moment to ever end. The heartbreak of Katherine's selfishness dissipating as the body heat from Blair's cheek warms his cold shoulder. You'd think he'd be more cautious with such romantic notions after that betrayal, but he starts to think that eternity might not be so bad with Blair by his side.

"Liar. You're falling asleep," he whispers.

"I'm just resting my eyes for a moment," she murmurs.

He doesn't argue. She turns her face up towards his when their silence goes past ten seconds.

"Why aren't you saying anything?"

"Is there something in particular you want me to say? I thought you were sleeping."

"I told you, I was just resting my eyes."

"Uh huh."

He notices that her eyelashes are long, so long that they graze her cheeks when she blinks. Was she always this beautiful?

"I've had a lot to drink."

"Mm," he agrees.

"I think I'm a bit drunk."

He reaches to brush back a stray strand of hair and his hand lingers above her cheek. "Probably."

"If you were a nice guy you'd take me home."

"We both know that I'm not a nice guy," he whispers conspiratorially.

"You're not," she answers scathingly.

He smirks and shifts in his seat so that she'd be more comfortable leaning against him.

"Are you happy?" he asks as he traces an indiscernible pattern on his shot glass with one finger.

"Happy… isn't the right word."

"Then why?"

He doesn't need to elaborate further. She knows he's talking about Nate. He seems to be fixated on this topic.

"Because…"

She looks away and he turns her to face him again.

"No. You need to answer this time."

She looks up at him with those big brown doe eyes of hers.

"Why Nate?"

"Because…because you-"

He kisses her then and so she doesn't get to finish her sentence.

He kisses her like he's been wanting since she left. There's no Katherine or Nate in the audience this time. He's not kissing her to make a point or to rile up some reaction from a third party. In fact they are the furthest thing from his mind. There's nobody else, except for them.

All those doubts he had, they disappear like fog in the sunshine the moment her hands snake around him and she kisses him back. Third time is the charm. It only took him a slap and a jealous ex-boyfriend the two times around. But this time, this time it's all them.

He makes sure that she can feel just how much he has missed her with his kisses. Her mouth is hot against his and all that frostbite he's got from Katherine begins to melt. Her fingers tickle the back of his neck as she runs them through his hair and he smiles into the kiss.

All their issues, Nate, Katherine, Vampires, Immunes, everything is still all up in the air, but it doesn't matter. All he knows is that right now all is right with the world. He's exactly where he's suppose to be, doing exactly what he's suppose to be doing, with exactly the right person he's suppose to be doing it with. And that person isn't Katherine. And he's more than okay with that. More than more than okay. He's the happiest he's ever been.

xxx

"Who are you thinking about?" she asks.

"What do you mean?"

"You only kiss me when you're missing her."

They both know who "her" is so she doesn't elaborate.

"So tell me… do I make a good substitute?"

It doesn't escape her notice that his types are brown eyed brunettes. She wonders if that's what attracted him to her in the first place. How much she resembled Katherine. A sufficient body double for when he couldn't have the real thing. He says he was compelled, but it must have felt real. And if it felt so real, then how can he say it wasn't real?

"No one else."

Katherine and Blair have often been likened to one another: calculating, spoiled, bratty, manipulative. But their similarities are really quite superficial. Despite all of her barbed comments, her strong sense of entitlement and superiority over others, Blair wears her heart on her sleeve. Her mask of nonchalance and indifference constantly slipping and she would often scramble to keep up appearances. Katherine on the other hand… has no heart to speak of and if there's one thing that can't be substituted, it's the heart. To Damon, the distinction is quite clear.

"Only you. It's always been just you. Every single time we've kissed. It was always you on my mind. I never thought about anybody else and that should've been the first sign."

"The first sign for what?"

"The first sign that I was falling in love with you."

He's like a puppet master pulling on her heart strings. She almost hates how much power he has over her emotions. He brushes a strand of hair from her face affectionately before he kisses her one more time.

"Who are you thinking about?" he whispers against her lips.

"I'm tired of thinking," She whispers back.

"Good answer," he says with a smile. "Thinking is overrated."

He goes for another kiss, but she stops him with a finger to his lips.

"I spoke too soon," he jests.

It earns him a scowl. Blair Waldorf never really stops thinking. She just can't let it go. Insecurities die hard.

"Honestly. What about Katherine?"

"I gave her a proper kiss off."

"Well you were always good at kissing," she teases.

"I know," he replies cockily. "Let me show you just how good." He smiles at her devilishly.

"Did you really just walk out on her?"

"You would have been proud. It was very dramatic," he beams at her. "Now enough talking."

But Blair doesn't let things go so easily. She stops him with a hand on his chest and he tries to suppress a growl.

He's impatient, eager to start their relationship, but she's not quite ready. She wants to give in, but the more cautious side of her, the side that got burned once already won't let her take the leap.

"But where would we go? Where would we live?"

She always had so many plans for the future and she's stubborn about them. A person doesn't change overnight. Not even for Damon Salvatore.

"I mean I have school and my family! I had all these plans with Nate-"

He clenches his jaw at the sound of Archibald's name. His name doesn't belong on her lips.

"You want a house? I can give you a house. School? I can put you in any college you want. Family? I can be you family! I will take care of you. You'll want for nothing," he promises.

He has money to spare and persuasive charm to boot. Anything Nate can offer, he can match. Hell, he could double it.

"And what about when I start to age? I'm not a vampire. I can't… We can't."

"We can. We can figure it all out. Love conquers all doesn't it?"

"That's naïve thinking."

"I'm willing to risk it if you are."

"Is this for real? Or am I rebound girl?"

"Blair Waldorf? A rebound girl? Perish the thought."

"Are you really serious?"

She's so use to teasing and joking with him that sometimes she can't tell when he's being serious or not.

He takes her hands into his, brings it towards his chest where his heart should lie. She could almost pretend she feels it beating in there. Make herself believe that falling in love with a vampire wasn't such an impossible task.

"What can I say to convince you that I'm serious? Tell you I love you? Because I can say it a thousand times. Tell you I've missed you? Because I miss you even when you're standing right in front of me. Tell you that I'd die without you? Because if you walk away now I will take off this ring and burn because dying would be better than watching you walk away again."

He makes a motion to take off his ring before her hands stop him.

"No need for theatrics, Salvatore. I believe you just fine," she says smiling.

The bottom line is that no matter what happens, he's the one she wants and she's a fool if she lets him go. The curse of being a romantic, despite all of her realistic inclinations, her true nature comes through. Besides what's the point of all her planning, all her plotting and scheming if it's all for a life without him?

This time she's the one that leans in and kisses him. He doesn't complain.

A/N: Finally some much needed Damon/Blair interaction. I was really happy to write this chapter because Damon and Blair have both been so angsty and just down right mope-y and I missed writing their fun banter. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed. This fic is starting to wind down to the last few chapters, so I hope you all continue to follow me till the end! Thanks a lot for all the reviews and comments! Keep them up! =D