Author's note: *another sigh* I really didn't want to update again tonight. Not because I don't love you guys but because I'm not sure where this is going yet. But I needed to let you guys know this:

There are three chapters left. This chapter about cleaning his room and finishing it. The next chapter about Julia's birthday and then my surprise ending. As you know, this book is kinda all over the place time wise so this isn't the next after the last chapter. This is about a week later. The Julia's birthday is like a month later and the last chapter is two months after that.

One reason for the book ending…I'm running out of lyrics. Lol. The song isn't that long. If you haven't listened to it yet you really should. I'm in love it that song. K, long author's note. My bad. I'll shut up now. Here's the chapter.

Can you see the road you're walking? Are these signs too hard to recognize?

"You're doing great, Eli," Clare whispered as I stood over the trash bag, clutching Julia's favorite hoodie to my chest. I knew this hurt Clare that I even had her clothes, but they still smelled like Julia.

I needed them.

"Clare," I whispered and held my hand out.

When I felt the smooth texture of her skin, the hoodie fell from my hand. "I'm here," she whispered.

I turned to her and hugged her tightly, knocking the breath out of her. She hugged me back and I pulled away, shaking my head. "Wow. Sorry. So, uh, what next?"

"All you have left is the rest of her clothes and a black plastic rose," she smiled. "You've really progressed,"

"Thanks. So should I just pick up all of her clothes or go one-by-one?"

"What do you think will be easier?"

I sat on my bed. To be honest, it would be easier to pick up every single item and hold it close, bringing Julia's smell back to me and remembering what she looked like. But I was struck with fear. What would Clare do if she found Julia's bras in that pile? Clare knew I had been with Julia and Julia stayed with me for a bit before she…died, but it would still be awkward to hold up Julia's hot pink bra in front of my girlfriend.

So I lied to make Clare feel better. It's what boyfriend's do. "Big pile into the trash,"

"You sure?"

"Yes!" I said, a little too mean. Maybe I could sneak into the bag after Clare left and remember? No. No, Eli. Remembering Julia without Clare nearby is what cause my 'incident' a few months ago.

"Okay, okay," Clare said and brought the trash bag closer to the small pile of clothes.

I took in a deep breath and picked them all up at once and gently put them in the trash bag.

Clare sighed. "Good job, Eli. I'm truly amazed at how good you are at this. Especially compared to the beginning,"

I took her hand. "You stayed here. Just like you promised,"

She smiled and squeezed my hand. "What kind of girlfriend would I be, if I weren't?"

"You're not like other girls, Clare," I said, getting lost in her blue orbs. "I love that about you,"

She smiled bigger. "You sure aren't like other guys. But that's why I love you,"

I leaned in a kissed her on the lips. "Thank you. For accepting my baggage. For helping me. For not leaving me when things got rough. Thank you for you,"

She wrapped her arms around my waist and laid her head on my chest. "You're welcome,"

I sighed into her hair and kissed the top of her head. She pulled away and clapped her hands together. "So. One more thing and then we're done. You can do this,"

I looked at the black plastic rose and closed my eyes. "Clare, actually, can I keep this?" I asked.

When I opened my eyes, she was holding the rose in her hand and she looked at me. "Eli, this is the last thing. You're doing so good,"

I sighed. "Yeah…but…That…um, that was Julia's favorite thing," I lied, rubbing the back of my neck and biting my lip.

Clare sighed, too, and handed me the rose. "If you need to keep it,"

I took it and clutched it close to me. "Thank you,"

She kissed me on the lips and then pulled away. "I should be getting home,"

"You want a ride?" I offered, placing the rose on my bed.

"No. Fresh air will do me good. Besides I rode my bike over here,"

"I can put your bike in the back of the hearse,"

"Eli. I know it's hard for you to let a girl ride her bike away from you, but nothing's going to happen. It's 3pm. Bright. We aren't fighting. I'm happy. Focused. We're all good,"

I let my breath out. "You're right, you're right. But call me the second you get home, okay?"

"Alright," she kissed me again and walked out of my room.

I grabbed the rose and held it in one of my hands. I remembered when I got Julia this bouquet of black roses. Yes, I used that cheap line, I'll love you till the last rose dies and gave her nine real roses and one fake one. I was holding the fake one and realized how true it was. This rose wasn't dead and neither was my love for her.

I had to keep. Even if Julia wasn't here and even if throwing away the rose wouldn't mean killing it, I couldn't let it go. I could let her go. Not all the way.

Not yet.

Author's note: so I wouldn't call that a cliff hanger but it did leave you wondering, didn't it? I hope so (;

Preview for the next chapter? Graves, tears, booze, blades, rain, and voices.

If you want it you better review. No reviews=no updates.