Disclaimer: I do not own these wonderfully complex characters.
A/N: This is kind of a filler chapter, need it to build the plot up. Hope you enjoy it! The cost of getting this up early is that it didn't get edited by the lovely Keddster. I was too impatient and wanted some reviews. So with out further ado...
Chapter 4
The weekend passes with more of the same worrying and fretting for Beckett. She was on call Sunday, which offered a decent enough distraction from the anxiety bubbling within about her pending apology to Castle come Monday. Beckett was called in early that morning to over see the processing of a pop and drop in Central Park, but there was no challenge to the case, which, unfortunately, allowed for her mind to over-think and over-analyze.
Beckett sat at her desk trapped in her mind for the morning, reviewing her conversation with Castle at those swings. He was so angry with her. How could he not be utterly furious? Kate thought to herself. Beckett completely abandon him that summer. But, she was hurt, a victim, healing and had the right to do it on her own.
Kate needed that space, that escape, to crawl out of the dark hole she fell into when that bullet hit her heart. She was broken and Castle couldn't see her like that; he would have realized I wasn't his strong mysterious muse, but a scared little girl with PTSD, trust issues, and slew of hang ups. He would have left.
So instead she left. She ran and hid from all the 'what ifs' and in the process she left a broken, hurt man. She thought about him constantly during those summer days, days she desperately tried to fill so they would pass and she would be healed.
Beckett imagined that he was spending his summer days with Alexis in the Hamptons; lighting fire crackers, barbecuing cook outs, and writing in solitary. Alone, just like she was. She left him alone and lonely and confused.
I watched you die in that ambulance.' He watched her heart stop beating and her lungs stop expanding. He was left helpless and exposed, then she just left him without any real explanation other than 'I need a little bit of time.'
God, no wonder he could hardly look at me on those swings.
But Kate was angry too, and understandably so. She lost a mentor and a friend that night in the hangar. Yet, in a strange and heart wrenching paradox Kate was betrayed by that same mentor and friend in such a deep way. She was left desperate for the answers as to why. Why didn't Montgomery tell her? Why was her mother killed? Why her? What had she done to deserve such loss, such heartbreak, such deception and treachery?
And when Roy died, those answers, which had been so close, evaporated with his last breath. And Castle was the one who took her out of the equation that night, dragged her out and ripped away her options and her influence, making her powerless yet again. He did that.
No. No. No.
He saved me, he took care of me, he loved me. Kate reminded and reprimanded herself.
She had placed her anger at the entire situation; at the actions of her captain and at the evils of this world on Castle. Her fury and confusion manipulated her unexplainable questions into a concrete and controllable anger toward Castle. Then she used that anger to justify hiding at her father's cabin.
She knew that. Burke showed her that. But, damn it, she never showed Castle.
That day at the swings she was so caught up in seeing him again, selfishly caught up in the information about her mother's case, and caught up in the surge of emotion that seized her mind, body and soul when she saw this man who loved her. Loved her still, even after all she had done, even though she was still broken. 'Watching the life drain out of someone you... someone you care about.'
With all that swirling in her mind, she missed her chance to explain things to Castle. She thought she had explained that she wanted him, them, if he could wait for her. But no. Now she realized exactly what she had told him.
Oh geez, I started the conversation with saying how much I like Josh? Really?! Idiot...
She meant to say, "I really, really like him. But that wasn't enough because I really, really love you."
But no, I was scared and cowardly.
Instead she explained that she couldn't have the kind of relationship she wanted with her mother's case in the way. And bless that man, he grabbed onto that like a life preserver and that was a testament to how well he knew her, he knew that on some level Kate was talking about a relationship with him.
But now she saw that his waiting for her was based on unstable foundation that could easily collapse with comments about his nonexistent bimbos. The nonexistent bimbos that she was irrationally jealous of.
Ugh, fucking introspection. I need a cup of coffee with a shot of Baileys, Kate thought as she pushed up from her desk, striding toward the break room for that virgin cup of coffee.
Right as she grabbed a mug, the door slammed open and a rookie shuffled in, "Detective Beckett we need you in Interrogation 2."
With a sigh Kate hung her head and geared up for the rest of her shift.
"So you convince me to meet you breakfast at 7:30 in the morning on my day off and you bring me here?" Kyra light-heartedly complained, gesturing to the hole-in-the-wall falafel stand. After deciding to 'remedy' the their estranged relationship yesterday, Rick and Kyra continued to catch up and laugh over coffee. Kyra further explained the details of her divorce and Rick recounted the incident with Kate's comment. He walked Kyra to the subway and along the way convinced her to meet up with him in the morning.
"Ky, its the best falafel in the city I swear, magic chickpeas and enchanted pita bread or something," Rick grinned before opening the door for her.
"The place might be good but that doesn't change the fact that it's 7:30 in the morning, again I reiterate, on my day off!" Kyra frowned in mock distress as they sat at a small wrought iron table.
"You never were a morning person, were you?"
"As I remember neither were you, Mr. 'Ten more minutes,'"Kyra shot back, reminding Rick of his inability to avoid the snooze button.
"Yeah, I had such an unbreakable bond with that snooze button. It was just me and her every morning."
"I knew you were cheating on me! You never did just pressed your snooze button, you caressed it, " Kyra quipped with laughter as the waiter came up to take their order.
"Amir! My good friend, how are you, where's Alexis?" The Arab waiter with steely green eyes asked Rick, much to Kyra's confusion.
"I'm doin' good Jamal, she's sleeping in today. How are you?" Castle replied easily, smirking at Kyra's amused expression.
"The sun is up and so am I, must be a good day," the waiter replied in a slight Arab accent. "What can I get for you and this lovely lady?"
"Mind if I order for us?" Rick asked, smiling at her, and Kyra nodded in response. "We will have two falafels, one chicken shawarma, tea, and a few quatayef."
Rick handed back the menus and said his goodbyes to Jamal before turning back to face Kyra.
"How in the world did you find this place, and how do they know you so well?" Kyra probed with genuine interest.
Rick gave an excited smile, leaning over the table and shifting into story mode. "Well when Alexis was about five I would read her a bedtime story every night and we started reading Arabian Nights, the more tame, appropriate stories anyway. She was completely taken with it all, watched Lawrence of Arabia and Aladdin daily for weeks on end. So one day after she played at the park..."
"You played at the park, using your daughter as an excuse..." Kyra interrupted, grinning even wider when Rick conceited with a nod.
"Yes, after we played at the park we walked by this place," he explained, gesturing around him. "Alexis saw the Arabic writing and dragged me in. Jamal was only about nine and he came up with his older brother, to take our order. Alexis had all sorts of questions for him, which he patiently answered, they're actually good friends to this day. We've been coming here ever since. It's family owned and Jamal's father has some fantastic stories, but don't ever play backgammon with the man."
"That is adorable that you read to her, I wish I was around to see that," Kyra mentioned. She would have loved to watch Rick grow from the young man he was into a father that was so obviously head over heels for his little girl. "Why'd he call you Amir?" Kyra prompted
"Jamal figured out that Richard means 'powerful leader,' and thats what Amir means in Arabic."
"Oh powerful leader huh? I bet you just love that." Kyra taunted leaning closer to him over the table. His eyes had always drawn her in, she never like to talk to him and not be looking at him directly in the eye because they were so expressive and told a story of their own.
"Eh, I don't mind it. But it comes with great responsibility."
Kyra burst out into laughter, "If I had a dime for every time you alluded to or quoted a comic book character, I'd be as rich as you."
"Yeah what can I say I know good literature." Rick smugly says while stretching his arms out and over his head. It felt so good to have Kyra to talk and flirt with because there wasn't any disguised subtext, crossed lines, or walls. Neither of them wanted to delve into what their newly forming friendship meant and instead silently decided to just enjoy each other's company in the middle of their hectic lives.
"So what's the plan for this morning?" Kyra asked as the worked on their shared shawarma.
"Well I called my old lawyer, Freddy, last night and he said that he would have a quick half hour to meet you and talk about the gallery and settlement for the apartment or whatever. Basically just a quick meet up to see if you like him."
"Ugh! I cannot believe Greg is gunning for my gallery! Such an asshole."
"He wont get it. Freddy handled both my divorce proceedings and we were dealing with Gina's grubby, tenacious hands and Meredith's custody threats. Freddy is a divorce attorney warrior."
"Better be, Greg is gearing up with a whole team of top notch prick attorneys."
"I hate that guy." Rick said with conviction.
"That makes two of us. God I want to castrate that bastard!" Kyra seethed.
"Hey Ky, don't let him get to you alright. The more of a rise he gets out of you the more he wins here."
"Damn you and your rationality and your baby blue eyes, can't you just let me stay mad?" Kyra joked, pulling a surprised laugh from Rick. "In all seriousness Rick, thank you so much for all you're doing, and not just introducing me to Freddy but for letting me vent. I needed this."
"Listen Grá, there is no thanks required. I've been where you are and I was lonely and miserable, and that's the last thing I want for you. So I'm here for you." Rick replied honestly.
Grá, what he used to call her when they were in love. It's Irish gaelic for love. He had started calling her that after they visited her relatives in Ireland one summer. And now, he just dropped it into the sentence without noticing, like it was a habit, a beautiful habit. Butterflies fluttered through Kyra's stomach remembering how he used to whisper it to her right before he kissed her below her ear.
Just then his phone beeped on the table.
"Shit, I forgot my phone is dying. Mind if we stop by the precinct, I left my charger there Friday. It's on the way." Rick said.
"Sure thing, speaking of the precinct..."
"Smooth segue there Ky. Real subtle." Rick joked in attempt to steer the conversation away from where it was headed. Why was every woman in his life dead set on dragging him through conversations about Kate Beckett.
They're always the same: Do you love her? Yes. Does she love you? Don't think so. Has anything progressed? No. What did you do wrong then? Nothing!
"You're seriously harping on my skills in subtlety? You're the least subtle person on earth," Kyra laughed at Rick's mock indignation. "Subtle or not we are segueing to a conversation about you and Kate. Have you talked to her or are you still giving her the silent treatment?"
"Its not the silent treatment, I'm just giving her some space. Which is what she is always asking for anyway."
"You still mad at her?" Kyra wondered as they stood from the table.
Rick said his goodbyes to Jamal and his father, Nasir, before grabbing Kyra's hand and looping it through his crooked elbow to walk down the street.
"I'm not really mad at her, just... No, you know what, I am mad. I can't believe after all we have been through together, all I have done for her and shown her she would make a comment like that. Beckett just refuses to give me credit for the ways I've changed and refuses to discredit the stupid 'Richard Castle Playboy Author' rumors. It's like she uses that as an excuse to not to give us a shot. If she thinks I am sleeping around and partying, she really isn't paying any God damn attention to how hard I'm trying here. I mean I haven't had sex with anyone in months!" Rick exclaimed in a worked up rant before realizing what he just basically yelled on a very public, very crowded New York City street.
His face turned beat red as his pace picked up to round the corner, Kyra in tow. "Woah, what? Rick slow down!"
Castle refused to look her in the eyes, the embarrassment clear on his face and in his posture. Kyra, always able to read Rick, knew not to make him repeat it.
"So you haven't... been with anyone in a while? Because you're waiting for her?" Kyra casually asked. She kept her eyes straight forward and let him set the pace of both their walk and conversation.
After a long pause of silence and speed walking Rick slowed them down and answered, "Yeah, I'm waiting for her like a pitiful, pathetic puppy, waiting to get picked."
"Hey, you're not pathetic. If she hasn't taken her chance when you picked her, it's her loss. Maybe it's time to move on?"
A/N 2.0: Review, PLEASE! I love hearing what you readers think. Don't hate me too much for the relationship blooming between Rick and Kyra. REVIEW!