Disclaimer: I don't own a thing but I sure got that swing.
A/N: So got some mixed reviews on the last chapter so I tried to step it up with this one, my longest one yet! Shout out to Soprano009 and crazy4castle, definitely the best reviews ever!
Thanks for reading and I beg you to review, without further ado...
See what I did there? with the rhyming?
Chapter 7: The Talk
"Wow, I am never going into a bookstore with you, ever, ever, ever again." Kyra sighed with mock annoyance as she and Rick stepped out of the small, but jam packed book shop.
After meeting Freddie, who turned out to be exactly the kind of lawyer she wanted representing her, Rick invited her along to run errands; basically just wandering around the city. Kyra knew that Rick was just trying take her mind off things ever since he noticed she had a clouded expression on her face, like she had drifted of shore a bit after their meeting. Having to relay all the little details of how her marriage had fallen apart and how resentful and bitter the divorce proceedings were going was brutal to say the least.
"Oh, c'mon it wasn't that bad, we were only in there for," Rick glanced at his 'Speedmaster First Omega in Space' watch (a birthday gift from his mother. He tells anyone that'll listen that astronauts where that watch in space), "three hours? Holy shit, it's already 4:30?" Rick exclaimed, shocked at how he had completely lost track of time throughout the day.
"Yeah, fully aware of that. In fact, I have been informing you of the time every hour since we got in there, you dork." Kyra smirked as they meandered towards the subway.
"Don't act like you were waiting on me in there," he gestured his thumb back towards the bookshop. "And don't think I didn't see your nose pressed to the page of that Jazz Age book for a solid hour. Always such a hypocrite," Rick clicked his tongue in disapproval, secretly loving the fact that he has found someone who gets as lost in a bookstore as he does.
He hasn't had someone to do that with since Alexis was little. He used to make a little scavenger hunt for her to do while he did research or fell into the beginnings of dozens of books.
"Alright, alright I admit, I was completely absorbed for a solid two and a half hours, but the last thirty minutes are on you Mr. Mystery Writer."
"Fair enough. So what's your plan for the evening?" Rick asked, fishing to see if Kyra still was shaken up about the meeting that morning.
"Mhmm, don't know. I have some portfolios to look over for new artists wanting to show there stuff in the gallery. Then I'll probably eat, call my brother, and early to bed. Geez, I live the life huh?"
"The life's not all that it's cracked up to be, trust me. Nights at home with Alexis and my mother are always better than nights galavanting around like a jackass with high society." Rick turned up his nose with a finger and issued a very pompous expression as he finished his sentence.
"Believe me I know how dull and annoying 'high society' can be. Need I remind you who my mother is?"
"Yikes, no reminder needed." Rick laughed.
"Speaking of mothers..."
"Yet again, another smooth segue," Rick cut in.
"Sagacious is my middle name, now how's Martha. I've missed her over the years. Still a crack up I'm sure."
"Sexy word, say it again," Rick joked earning a disapproving head shake from Kyra, but he could swear there was a little smile to it.
"Such a boy, but really, how's Martha?"
"Same old Mar..." Rick immediately sealed his lips and widened his eyes, before clearing his throat to correct his mistake. "She's the same vibrant, vivacious woman as she was." Kyra cracked up, knowing Rick would be in big trouble had Martha been around when he used 'old' as her descriptor.
"Nice save there, she would have washed your mouth out with soap had she heard you say that."
"Don't you dare rat on me Blaine, I have dirt on you too ya know?"
"And when in the world would I get the chance to tattle?" Kyra played along, but still knowing full well just how many secrets Rick had on her.
"Tonight," he replied confidently.
"Huh?" Kyra offered, caught off guard and a little worried about what it would mean to their tentative friendship to go over to his apartment.
"Have dinner at the loft tonight, catch up with Mother, meet Alexis. God I cannot believe you've never met her before. Its so surreal."
"You're serious?" she said with less question, more surprise in her tone.
"Of course I am. Don't make me beg Grá. Catch up, see my place, meet my daughter, early dinner and off you go. No harm done." Rick asked, nearly groveling for her company. It was as much for him as it is for her. Sure he wants to be there for her to take her mind off things with her divorce, but he also is completely entranced with the way they fell back into their past relationship, minus the sex, Rick adds. His writer's mind was enticed by the paradigm of their deep bond and knowledge of one another paired up against the unknown lives they have lived and people they have become in the past seventeen years apart.
Also, as selfish as it sounds, Kyra is a wonderful distraction from Kate.
"I guess it'd be nice to see Martha again, and the way you've been talking about Alexis I feel like I should be the one begging to meet her," Kyra pondered, still not quite giving in, but the look on Rick's face, so hopeful and excited at the prospect of her acquiescence, she knows her answer already. Plus, judging by the way his voice sent shivers through her when he called her 'Grá' again, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to spend more time with the man. Time to figure out what it all meant, this new friendship? Relationship?
In the past, they both had a habit of going with the flow of things, enjoying the moment, and getting lost in the experience. But then all of a sudden they were into thing fairly deep with no guidelines, definitions, or boundaries and that's when they ended up hurting each other. If the inkling of the idea of starting a relationship with Rick again held any real hope, she wanted to institute some sort of structure, though she knew they were both terrible at following rules.
"Alright, I'm in. Dinner at your place," Kyra begins with a smile and the jump of her shoulders. Rick looped her arm through his as they descended the stairs into the subway station. "And we should probably talk."
"Oh geez Kyra, those are the four worst words known to the male species. Well that and 'Do I look fat?' No wonder you're getting a divorce." Rick said nonchalantly, not meaning it maliciously but judging by the way Kyra halted her movements, squinted her eyes and furrowed her brow in a hurt frown, with her lips fully pouted; he'd say he hit a nerve.
"Too soon?" Rick asked, hoping to sand over this with humor.
"Yeah. A bit." Kyra clipped, face still holding the wounded glare.
"Yeah, I just replayed it in my head and I really sound like an insensitive pig. I'm sorry, you know I didn't mean it to hold any seriousness."
"Yeah, you lug, I know," she offered, a small smile breaking her pouty, full lips.
"Forgive me?"
How could she not looking at that same tilted head, puppy dog eyed, baby blue sincerity that he always pulled out and melted her heart with in college. "Ugh, make me dinner and I'll consider it." But as she bumped into his side to steer him toward their train, they both knew his faux pas was forgiven and forgotten.
Kate spent her midmorning panicking and floundering in assumed heartbreak, but by noon the case she had been called in for picked up, got interesting, and she did what Beckett does best: Dive head first into her work. She knew how to do that, but diving into the deep end with Castle? She'd drown, yep, sink like a stone.
She let her work completely absorb her, initiating her blinders. She forced all thoughts of Castle and stupid, cheery Kyra out of her mind and instead held onto thoughts of motive, opportunity, weapons, suspects. Detecting and solving murders were Kate Beckett's element, the process was second nature to her, nearly instinctual. The simple pop and drop in the park turned into a scathing tale of brotherly betrayal and marital infidelity. A case Castle would have had wet dreams over, but his loss. Apparently he had other avenues of research now, Kate thought bitterly.
She road the high of suspects, leads, and false alibis, and before she knew it; it was 5:30, the case was closed, and she was walking through her front door with take out in hand. However, before she could let her mind settle and fall into the current of hypothetical scenarios involving Castle and Kyra, Kate stashed her food in the fridge, changed into yoga pants and a hoodie, laced up her Nikes, and sprinted out onto the street. The sun had already set for the November day, but the street lights offered enough light to ease Beckett's inherent paranoia of the city around her.
When Castle ran it was an escape. It offered his ever imaginative mind a chance to delve into describing the sensations aching throughout his body instead of taking the moments of his life and casting a 'what if' spell on them, making his hardships so much worse. For Castle, running would quiet his mind.
But for Beckett, running cleared her head of any extraneous influences and allowed her to narrow all her intense focus onto the problem at hand (i.e. Little Ms. Bride and Writerboy). It forced her to confront her emotions and actions without distraction and denial. So that was exactly what Kate embarked on as she propelled down block after block.
She silenced to self-pity and assumptions. Just like a murder investigation, eliminate biases, assumptions, and follow the evidence and the facts. The fact of this situation was that Castle was mad at Kate, rightfully so. But she could fix that with a apology, easy...hopefully.
Fact: Somehow Castle has started spending time with Kyra.
Fact: Kyra is getting a divorce because of a cheating husband. Yes, a little nerve wracking- she is single now- but...
Fact: Castle told Kate he loved her.
Fact: That doesn't just disappear.
By the time she ran through this evidence and mentally established a timeline, trying to figure out how long Castle and Kyra have been seeing each other (Yes, she realized her investigative process was a little creepy when applying it to her love life), she was finishing out on a sprint down her block.
Kate hauled her heavy legs up the stairs as quickly as she could and finished on a heavy inhale at her door. She had a game plan in her mind, now she just needed to execute it. She unlocked her door with the key hidden in the pocket sewn into her spandex capris and headed straight for her phone to call Castle.
No more stalling.
As the phone rang, she took in a heavy breath, holding it in her expanded lungs, trying to calm her uneven breath. Probably should have waited a few minutes to catch my breath, hopefully he finds it sexy. Yeah, add in a little innuendo to get his mind in the gutter, butter him up before the apology.
But she never got that chance to send Castle's mind spinning into images of 'Sweaty Kate' because the phone rang until it went to voicemail and she couldn't say the apology she needed to say over voicemail. With sweaty fingers she hung up to try again. Went to voicemail.
With a growl and a hand running through her hair, Kate headed for the shower. When Kate Beckett made a decision she held to her guns and carried out her plan of action. Tonight was no different. She was dead set of apologizing to Castle that evening. If he came to work tomorrow, she knew he would let her off the hook, brush it off. But Kate knew better, knew him better. Under his 'devil may care' exterior was an incredibly caring guy who would carry that hurt around with him. She wanted to apologize and tell Castle that she didn't see him as that Playboy author anymore. He was so much more and he deserved to know.
With that thought fortifying her resolve, she quickly changed into jeans, a thick, beige knit sweater, her brown leather jacket, and her heeled boots. Bit the bullet Beckett.
Dinner at the loft went 'fabulously,' as Martha put it. Fabulous, that was her word for the evening:
"Oh Kyra, you look just fabulous!"
"Richard, this pasta is fabulous, no marvelous!"
"I can't tell you how fabulous it is that you two found each other again."
That one raised Alexis's eyebrow and made for an awkward transition to how Alexis's college applications were going. Martha knew better than any of them that Richard and Kyra are not together or even dating, she just liked to stir the pot. Her own little social in all honesty a part of her hoped that the two kids' old spark is still present.
Martha had been Rick's confidant, sharing how he felt about Kate with her and Martha had always hoped that the detective would give her charming son the chance. But lately, she had noticed Richard's utterly crestfallen expression when she walked into the room, before he got a chance to put up mask for her or his daughter. She adored Kate and truly believed she is good for Richard and visa versa, but as she fondly remembered, so was Kyra.
Both woman were lovely, beautiful, and good to and for her son in very different ways. When Richard was in college, he was full of life, excited, ambitious, and even more immature. Kyra calmed him, focused his million-mile an hour mind on what she was guiding him towards. She was endlessly patient with him without loosing her playfulness. Their chemistry was that of two high school sweethearts that had grown into the normalcy of constantly touching and sweetly flirting.
Kyra gave him confidence and direction at a time when Richard was being shot down by publishing houses and his work was being constantly berated, in that way she made him a better writer.
But, Martha couldn't help but counter those thoughts with thoughts about how Detective Beckett had taken the arrogant, lost, and misdirected man he was at the time of their meeting and held him to a higher standard. She called on him to be a better man, advised him on the inter-workings of a teenage girl to make him a more attentive father at the important times and a less attentive one at others. Their chemistry roared like a flame between their dueling minds, like Richard told his mother, "Kate is a mystery I'll never solve, but damn I'd be happy to spend forever trying." Of course he masked the vulnerability framing that statement with an immature comment.
Kate had flooded his mind with endless inspiration and coaxed him into maturity, into a man Martha was so proud to call her son.
Martha was certain that both women had shaped Richard into the man he was today. The only other opinion that had ever mattered more to him were that of his mother and daughter.
Rick mad tomato basil pasta, an arugula salad, and wild rice with mushrooms and broccoli. Kyra was impressed. When they were together Rick's diet consisted of pop tarts, Cambell's soup from a can, and Capri Sun with rum (a strange concoction he insisted was the best cocktail in the world... jury was still out for Kyra- he did a lot of alcohol and candy combinations back then that turned out pretty good).
Over dinner, the conversation revolved mostly over getting to know Alexis and Kyra filling in Martha on where life had taken her, though she quickly passed over her recent divorce. Kyra was completely taken with Alexis, but who wasn't?
She found the teenager's maturity and quick wit so surprising and refreshing. For the first part of the evening Kyra noticed Alexis was more reserved and straight laced, offering insight on her applications, her ambitions, and her internship at the morgue. But as the night wore on Rick cajoled Alexis into a relaxed, quick to laugh and tease, almost goofy mood which warmed Kyra's heart.
Kyra found herself observing their relationship like it was a work of art. She was so impressed by their friendship that cloaked the, obviously intense, father-daughter dynamic that held them together. She mused that they must be quite close since its been just the two of them for most of the young girl's life. Seeing Rick as a father only drew her to him more, intensified her attraction for him. An attraction she was trying to hold back because she didn't want things to spiral into unknown territory.
"Don't you dare tell that story Alexis, or I will ground your ass until prom," Rick sternly warned, though everyone at the table could tell it was an empty threat.
"Richard, everyone knows Alexis is the one that typically grounds you," Martha chimed in.
"Plus, you're way too much of a softie to carry out any of your punishments. He would sent me to time out for five minutes but end up sitting with me playing Ro-Sham-Bow because he would get lonely," Alexis revealed laughingly.
"Oh, Rick they're going to tell me all the secrets and black mail material I could ever need. You rethinking this whole dinner thing yet?" Kyra teased, pushing her empty plate further on the table to cross her elbows and forearms on the table.
Rick growled and scrubbed a hand through his hair, messing up is perfectly combed locks. Always the drama queen. "You girls just be careful," he started, pointing at Martha and Alexis, "I'm the only one who cooks around here, you'd starve without me."
"Has Dad told you about how he saved me from drowning and he taught me how taught me to ride a bike in just one day, or how about the time he helped me sell enough girl scout cookies to get the grand prize?" Alexis eagerly rattled off the list of Rick's fatherly accomplishments with a coy smile. Martha and Kyra busted up in laughter while Rick smugly nodded rolling his wrist to gesture for Alexis to continue.
"Good girl, daughter of mine. That earns you dinner for a week and two special Sunday brunches."
"Oh, thank God. I don't think I would have survived and don't worry Kyra, meet me after dinner and I'll tell you how Dad got locked in my economics classroom on Back to School Night."
Castle chucked a cranberry left over from his salad at Alexis, crossed his arms, and pouted at the head of the table. Kyra simply winked at Alexis.
"Well kiddos as much as I love that story; makes me proud of you son," Martha said, laying a condescending hand on Rick's shoulder, "I have grand plans for the evening and I am running perfectly, fashionably late." Martha sweeps a hand down her elegant but bold emerald green dress, accessorized with a pink belt at her waist and gemstone jewelry.
"And I am banishing myself to my room to finish my Charles Dickens essay. Stupid thing is due tomorrow and I couldn't land on a topic until this morning."
They all say their goodbyes and goodnights, Kyra sincere in her comments about how lovely dinner and the company was. Martha made her grand exit, Alexis bounded up the stairs; her iHome's music being heard from downstairs, and then there were two.
Kyra glanced at her watch, saw it was nearing seven. "I should probably head out as well."
"No, c'mon stay for a little bit longer. We didn't ever get to talk about what we 'needed to talk' about" Castle whined, adding air quotes to the infamous phrase.
Kyra leans back in her chair and rests a hand on her chin as if in debate with herself. With a sigh, they both know she had decided to stay. "So what Mr. Mom, are you going to offer me more wine or am I going to have to go ask Alexis about Back to School Night?"
"Wine, right. On it!" Rick replied with glee, hopping right up and bounding over to the counter for the bottle. "I can't believe there is any left, usually Mother knocks out a bottle all by herself. She must have been trying to behave for you."
Kyra laughs before adding, "Some where deep in her memory she's probably still has flashback to when we had to go pick her up at that party at that Harlem jazz club and I ended up holding her hair back in the bathroom."
Rick humorously shivers at the memory. "Please don't make me relive that. I have never been propositioned by such handsy old women."
"Oh, but your often propositioned by regular, unhandsy old women?" she laughed.
"In my line of work, you'd be surprised by how bold some of the fans get. I've had to gently let down old woman, several gay men, and countless twenty somethings."
"Countless, huh? It must be hard to be Richard Castle," she teased.
"I could be there father!" Rick exclaimed in genuine disgust at the thought of dating a girl in her twenties. Kyra scrunched up her nose in that adorable way Rick always to love.
"They'd be lucky."
"Huh?" Rick asked caught off balance by the seriousness in her tone of voice.
"They'd be lucky if you were their father. Alexis is lucky that you're her dad. You are so amazing with her."
"She's easy. Parents her self mostly, but she lets me pretend I had something to do with how incredible she is."
"You had everything to do with it Rick. Trust me, I was a self-proclaimed Daddy's girl and I know a club member when I see one. Alexis adores you. Seriously, head over heals smitten with how great a man you are."
"Thanks Ky." Rick simply replied, but the wide smile gracing his lips and eyes expressed how happy he was to hear that she believed him to be a good father. It was a weak spot for him. He was constantly worried that he hadn't been enough for his daughter. He wanted so badly to give him what he never had, two parents. But he felt as though he had failed her.
"Means a lot coming from you Kyra."
"Why?" Again Castle was taken aback from Kyra reply.
"Why? huh, well... I guess because your you. I mean, you know me and that means what you say, it uh, it carries weight. You really mean it," Castle stuttered to come up with an answer. "Jesus, I am supposed to be better with words, literally built a career with it," Rick laughed at himself, feeling less embarrassed when he noticed Kyra's endearing smile.
"I'd just like to state that earlier today you were making fun of me for my lack of subtlety and smoothness." Kyra goaded, easing Rick back into the humor he was comfortable in.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm going to start over. Ready to be amazed by my suaveness? Wait that sounds wrong, suavability? Oh, I like that."
"Get on with it Rick," she laughed.
"Okay, I guess what I mean is that it means a lot to me that you say that because I know your not bull shitting me just to be nice. You know me, you've seen me fuck up and called me out on it so to know you're... I don't know? Proud? Of me, of the way I've raised my daughter reassures me that I didn't ruin her because I couldn't give her the mother she deserves."
Silence prevailed over the two as they sat across from each other at the dinning table, Rick's eyes fighting their uncertainty and embarrassment about what he just revealed and Kyra's holding a sense of awe at the man in front of her.
"I am proud of you Rick," she began staring straight into his mesmerizing gaze, silence reinstating itself. "And now I kinda get the whole millionaire wordsmith thing," she finally choked out with heavy emotion lacing her voice. Rick gives a half laugh and rubs his neck in discomfort at his wealth being brought up.
"Yeah I guess its what I have so I may as well use it where I can."
"Yet, you were afraid to have 'the talk,'" she jokes.
"Oh, so this was all a ploy to get me to have 'the talk,' why Kyra Blaine that showed quite a bit of suavability." Kyra broke into laughter and Rick held a proud smile.
"Alright, stop using your wit and humor to distract me from this menacing talk," Kyra said after their laughter subsided.
"Fine." Rick sighed dramatically in defeat.
"Alright, I don't want to dance around things because I'm exhausted from having that half assed communication woven into my marriage, clearly it doesn't work, so I'm just going to jump right in and start..."
"It's kinda sexy when you cut the crap and get down to business," Castle cut in with wiggling brows and a coquettish smile.
"That." Kyra pointed right at him, "That right there is what we need to talk about. Whatever the hell this is needs some sort of explanation otherwise one of us will end up getting hurt like last time. "
"I'm pretty sure we both got hurt last time."
"Point taken. But I don't even think this," she said, gesturing a hand back and forth between them, "is even a 'time.' Meaning I don't think we should even think of taking this anywhere past a friendship."
"Even if..."Rick started but was quickly interrupted before he could even go there.
"Rick, 'what if' situations ruin things, first of all. And second of all, neither of us are in a place where we are ready to start anything that would last and I wouldn't want things to ever end badly with us, because last time it really did suck to loose my best friend."
They both looked at one another thoughtfully. Rick realizing that a part of himself was disappointed at closing the possibility of a relationship with Kyra. However, he fully realized she was completely right, as perusal. He was completely and seemingly irreversibly in love with Kate Beckett and Kyra was still in the process of going through a messy divorce. If they started anything now things would crash and burn and blaze miserably.
"I think your right. And I know how much you love hearing that," Rick added, noticing the smug smile that irrupted across Kyra's lips. "So what? We just keep it...friendly? Try not to over think it all?"
"Yes, exactly. I don't want the pressure of 'will he, wont he.' Honestly, I can't handle that right now. My life is a mess Rick. Like some days I just eat ice cream and watch John Hughes movies or Grease kind of mess and you're someone that knows me, really knows me and knows what I need. So it might be kinda selfish of me, but... I need a friend," she finished shyly.
"Trust me I know how exhausting the 'will she, wont she,' 'she loves me, she loves me not' routine is and I would never want to drag you through that. So I am good with being there for you. However you need. I can be a friend, a damn good friend, in fact," he offered, smiling at her smile. "Perhaps eventually the best friend," Rick finished with childish excitement.
"Don't get ahead of yourself hot shot, I still have Angie..." Kyra started.
"You're shitting me? You are still friends with her?!" Rick gasped in disbelief.
"Best friends, so watch what you say about h-"
Before Kyra could finish her threat a knock sounded throughout the loft. Rick hopped up to grab the door and Kyra followed suit. "While you get that, I'm going to go to the bathroom and then I really do need to get going."
"Fair enough, I've held you hostage for long enough. Bathrooms down there," Rick offered, pointing as he heads for the front door. Kyra shuffles her way down the darkened hallway.
Kate nodded to Martin, Castle's weekend doorman, and the fact that she knows that Martin works the weekend and Peter works weekdays is a testament to how close she and Castle had grown over the years.
She paced the width of the elevator as it ascended to Castle's decadent apartment. She silently attempted to figure out what she would say to him when she got to his door. She was nervous, she hated to be nervous like this. It was just Castle, why was she freaking out? They are together more hours in the day then not and that time only continued to expand.
But he has never been mad at me. I've never had to apologize to him for anything. Either Castle let it go or he was the one screwing up.
Kate never let anyone in close enough to have their words hurt or affect her all that deeply. But somehow, she had let Castle in, and she realized that the same stood for him. Castle had allowed Beckett in and her actions and her words affected him, held the ability to hurt him. What was that Spiderman quote Castle always quoted to her? Something about great power has great responsibility.
Ugh, I was always a X-Men, Electra, Batman type of comic book geek.
Kate stood in the hall, a ways down from his front door, taking a deep breathe. She was giving herself just a second to breath, push down the irrational anxiety that was boiling causing her to feel like she had lost him, although she didn't even know what that would mean.
With that thought haunting her, she turned and glided towards his front door.
If I can just apologize, things will be fine.
Beckett lifted her fist and rapt on his metal door three times before steeling her resolve to apologize and let him know she wanted him to wait, she wanted him.
Castle swung open the door, a smile plastered across his face while still starring down the hall towards Kyra's disappearing body. He turned his head back to the doorway, "Beckett?"
"Castle, hey."
"Hi. What are.. What are you doing here? We have a body?" Castle asked clearly a little flustered at her showing up at his apartment unannounced looking freshly showered and utterly beautiful, but very confused as to why.
"I really needed to talk to you." Kate blurted out, apparently her usual reserved hesitance flying out the window and being replaced with urgency. For a reason, unknown to Kate, Rick chuckled at her explanation.
Worst sentence known to the male gender, and I've gotten it twice in twelve hours.
A minute, literally a minute of silence, took hold over the pair at the door and to both, it was excruciating. Rick's excitement at the shock of seeing Beckett at his door passed and his latent hurt and slight anger he still held toward Kate veiled his thoughts, yet taking a closer look at Kate's unobtrusive posture, genuine look in her eye, and solemn tilt to her lips, the anger melted and he was left with just the hurt.
"Rick, don't rag on Angie, she may be crazy but she is as loyal as they..."Kyra started as she walked back down the hall, seeing Rick at the door, but the visitor was out of sight.
"Oh. Kate. Hi." Kyra finished with a reflexive smile as she saw the detective looking utterly taken aback.
"Kyra. Hi."
A/N 2.0: Review that's all I ask. :)