A/N: Hello friends :) Hopeless here. This is the last chapter for Innocence is Bliss and the conclusion to Kaiana's backstory. Now that I think about it, I could have titled this fanfic Hard Ground Makes Stronger Roots, after one of the lines in Ventari's Tablet. It fits Kai perfectly, and I think I might change the title.
Moving on, I hope you've enjoyed this and if you're curious about Kaiana and Drysi then I'd recommend the main story. If you're coming from the main story, then I hope you've enjoyed as well. I'll see you around.
Love, Hopeless
Kaiana stared up at the ceiling of the pod she was in. As far as she knew she'd been there for only a couple days, but time seemed to have slowed down, making it feel much longer. All she had to keep her occupied were her thoughts. Yet that was all she could think of. The guilt hurt more than her wounds.
I killed them... They were horrible and twisted people, but I killed them.
Tears welled up in her eyes. It hurt to reach up and wipe them away, so they fell down her cheeks. She closed her eyes and bit her lower lip in an attempt to distract herself.
"Are you okay?" a voice asked. Kaiana recognized it as the apprentice girl. Drysi was her name.
The sapling shook her head and breathed deeply. "No."
Drysi looked at her for a moment before coming closer and sitting down on a stool beside where she lay. "You can tell me if you wish."
Kaiana opened her eyes and looked at the girl. Her jade eyes were soft, kind, and sympathetic. She seemed truly interested.
With a sigh, she closed her eyes again to try and drown out the real world. "I was stupid. I didn't pay any mind to the mentors and gardeners, and I got in trouble because of that. People got hurt because of that."
"What happened?"
Tears welled up in her eyes and fell. "I didn't know at first," she said, her voice cracking. "They wanted to force me to reject the Dream, and I hurt them. They would've hurt me if I didn't, but I didn't mean to. I…" Her voice cracked and she began to sob. Forgetting about how much it hurt to move, she turned on her side and brought her knees to her chest as an attempt to comfort herself. "I still don't understand. Everything is so confusing. Who were those sylvari? The mentors mentioned them once, I think. They were empty inside, but also full of emotions I don't understand."
"Nightmare Court," Drysi said, her tone suddenly low. "I don't know much about them other than that they believe that the Dream is a Nightmare, and that Ventari's Tablet is evil because it was written by a centaur hundreds of years ago. It doesn't make much sense to me. They claim that they want to free us from the Dream, but they're so twisted inside that they attack, kill, and destroy as they wish."
She was silent as she let this sink in. Her eyes opened and met the bright green of the apprentice.
Drysi shifted where she sat before standing and coming closer. "Erm, here." She reached out and brushed her thumb against Kaiana's cheeks. The sapling stared up at her, confused. "There. That's better."
The face from her Dream flashed before her eyes. It was much clearer now than it had been at first, and it was obvious that Drysi was the girl in the vision.
When the vision faded, she found that Drysi was trying to get her attention.
"Are you okay Kaiana?" she asked.
Kaiana nodded as she sat up. Drysi backed away slightly to give her space to do so. The sapling rubbed her arms and seethed. The whips had been poisoned and her wounds weren't healing as fast as they would have normally. Drysi neared again and placed a gentle hand on the girl's back to help keep her steady.
"You shouldn't move," she said. "Your body is still trying to get rid of the poison, so you're still weak."
"I don't care," Kaiana said, sneering slightly when she said 'weak'. "I can't stay still any longer. I want to go back to the Grove and speak with the Pale Tree."
Drysi nodded at this. "Okay, buy at least let me help you. Aviala would scold me if I let you go alone."
Kaiana frowned, but reluctantly agreed. "Okay," she said.
Another nod and Drysi came closer, helping the sapling onto her feet. Kaiana stumbled and nearly fell. Drysi took her arm and helped her stay up. Kaiana's face flushed golden out of embarrassment, something that made her falter as she stood.
Drysi smirked. "I told you that you were weak," she said in a teasing tone.
"Oh, hush up," Kaiana retorted, amusement showing at the end. Her expression soon shifted to a smile, something she hadn't done in a while.
Drysi stared in shock for a moment. She'd yet to see the sapling smile. It brightened up her face and she looked as if she was pleasant to be around.
"You need to smile more," she said as she assisted Kaiana. "The sad looks and scowls don't do you justice."
"I haven't exactly had much to smile about lately," the sapling said, the smile fading as she spoke.
"I… I realize this," Drysi stammered. "But things are better now, yes? It will take time but life will return to something similar to normal eventually. 'Hard ground makes stronger roots'."
Kaiana looked up at her with a curious look in her eyes. The older girl was young, not much older than she, but she understood so much more. The tablet hadn't come to mind at all while she was with the Court, probably from being surrounded by the Courtiers' personalities.
The two girls walked arm in arm along the path that would take them to the Grove. Neither of them said anything as they crossed the bridge to the main level of the massive city.
The sapling breathed deeply, the calm feeling of being home allowing her to relax. "It's good to be home."
"Have you been gone long?" Drysi inquired.
"Too long," she answered. "I'd been gone for a few days before I got to you and Aviala. I've been with you for a while now. That means it's been almost a week now."
"That's not so bad," Drysi said. "Some sylvari leave and never return, yet they are content in their new homes. Most of the Firstborn no longer live here either."
"I could never do that. After being gone for so long I don't want to leave for too long if I can help it. The Caledon area would be fine, but not too far away."
"Be careful what you say Kaiana," Drysi warned. "You might be eating your words someday."
"Kaia," she said.
Drysi's brows furrowed. "Pardon?"
"You can call me Kaia. Or Kai," she said, almost shyly. "Kaiana can sound like a lot."
"Really?" the older girl said, surprised. "I think it's a lovely name as is."
"Just know that you can call me that if you want."
Drysi still seemed confused, but nodded. "Okay."
Kaiana nodded. She looked around the clearing before noticing a familiar face. Her face paled when she saw him.
"Oh, by the Pale Tree," she thought out loud. "How could I have forgotten about him?"
"Is something wrong?" Drysi asked.
The Firstborn Kahedins, the leader of her Cycle, met her gaze and his eyes grew wide while his mouth fell open in shock. "Sapling! What happened to you!?"
She and Drysi neared him and she rubbed the back of her neck nervously. "Hello Kahedins," she said softly.
"Where were you?" he inquired. His tone had no disapproval or harshness to it at all. He was only concerned. "You disappeared without saying anything, and you're covered in bandages."
"It's a lot to explain," she said, looking at the ground. "I… I'm sorry for vanishing..."
Drysi spoke up, interrupting her. "It's not her fault," she said quickly, her previously gentle pace now rushed. "Kaia had been with the Nightmare Court until a couple days ago. She came to Aviala and me during that time. Aviala wanted me to tell Kaiana's friends what had happened, but…"
Kahedins held a hand up to interrupt her, Drysi's fast pace confusing him. "The Court?" he said. Drysi nodded. His face fell and he nodded slowly before turning to Kaiana. "Are you okay Kai?"
Memories of before filled her mind again and her face paled. Her eyes closed and she swallowed.
Drysi took hold of Kaiana's hand. It was different than when Lena had done it. When Drysi held her it comforting; reassuring that everything was fine. Kaiana let her fingers wrap securely around Drysi's hand as she spoke. "I will be," she said softly.
"Kaiana wants to speak with our Mother," Drysi said, speaking normally again. "We were on our way before we started speaking to you."
The Firstborn nodded. "Don't let me keep you then. Thank you for taking care of her, Drysi. Good luck to you Kai."
The two girls nodded goodbye to him and went on to the seedpod elevator. Drysi helped her in and followed behind. The door closed, leaving the two together.
Kaiana let go of Drysi's hand and leaned against the wall of the pod as it began to float up. The golden sylvari looked down at her.
"Is it okay if I come with you to speak with her?" Drysi asked.
The sapling met her gaze and nodded. "Yes."
The pod landed on the upper floor and Kaiana took hold of Drysi's arm. She was able to stand on her own now, but she felt more at ease close to her.
The Pale Tree had the ability to speak to sylvari and the other races through an avatar. She looked like a sylvari, but she was much more than just that. Kaiana had spoken to her soon after she awakened. Again she smiled warmly at her as they drew close.
"Come closer my children," she said kindly. "I'm sensing unease from you Kaiana. What is wrong?"
The two girls drew closer. "Mother," Kaiana started. She let go of Drysi's arm and swallowed. "I've done something horrible. A few days ago I met a sylvari named Lena. I found her intriguing. She spoke of a place where my Dream didn't matter. I told you before of how my Dream scared me, and I've been leaving the Grove to try and forget. Those words seemed to be wonderful, but the longer I stayed the worse I felt. I didn't know they were Nightmare Court; I only knew that the sylvari there were horrible. Something happened and they attacked me. I managed to run away, but I killed so many to get here." Her eyes filled with tears and the Pale Tree looked at her softly, not interrupting her story. "I feel horrible. It hurts to think about what a monster I must have been."
"You are no monster, Kaiana," the avatar told her. "You are feeling remorse for your actions. That alone shows that you are still sylvari. The ones you killed were once my children, but sadly are no longer. Their actions have led them to a path of destruction and hatred. You were doing what you had to do to stay safe."
Kaiana nodded. "Thank you Mother." She shifted and glanced at Drysi for a moment. The girl's face was neutral. Looking back at the Pale Tree, she said, "Mother, when I told you about my Dream I mentioned that I saw a sylvari girl. I think that I've found her."
The Pale Tree looked at Drysi and smiled kindly before nodding. "So it would seem."
Drysi frowned and looked from the Pale Tree to Kaiana. "What are you talking about?"
Kaiana turned towards her. "In my Dream I saw five faces. They were all faded and I couldn't tell what they were at first. But then I saw you and the face became clear. You're one of the faces that I Dreamt of."
Drysi blinked at this, unsure what was meant by this. "So we were supposed to meet," she summarized. Her unsure expression shifted into a smile that was returned.
The sapling looked back at the Pale Tree. "Thank you for listening Mother," she said. "I will come back if I have more to say."
"I look forward to our next meeting."
Kaiana nodded a good-bye and turned back towards Drysi. The two girls turned around and started towards the elevator.
Something small and green ran around the two of them. Kaiana looked down and found herself meeting the gaze of a pair of dark eyes. It was a fern hound puppy.
"Get back here," a male sylvari scolded. The puppy's ears twitched to catch what he was saying, but she ignored him.
Kaiana smirked and kneeled down to the puppy, petting her ears. The fern hound licked her nose, bringing a smile to the sapling's face. She petted the pup's head and the hound tilted her head slightly, as if directing her to the right spot.
"You're a little ball of trouble, aren't you?" she teased, scratching the hound under her chin. The puppy panted blissfully and her tail wagged.
"Hm. It seems she's taken a liking to you," the man said. "She hasn't shown interest in anyone 'til now, and she won't behave no matter what I do."
The sapling moved her fingers and scratched a spot behind the hound's ears. She smiled brightly. "Can I take her with me?"
He seemed surprised. "Well, every ranger needs a companion I suppose."
She frowned, "How did you know I'm a ranger?"
"It's in the way you stand," he explained. Kaiana's brows furrowed and he went on. "Your posture. You look as if you spend your time using a bow."
"I used to," she started, remembering how she'd left it behind, "but I don't have one anymore."
He smiled before looking around for something. He stepped back over to where he'd previously been and picked up a bow and quiver full of arrows. "Here," he said, holding them out to her. "You can have mine if you'd like."
Kaiana blinked at this and her mouth fell open slightly. "Are you sure?"
"I'm sure. I spend my time with hounds so often I never get a chance to use this anyway. It'd be better in your care than mine."
She stood up and took the weapon, looking it over fondly. "Thank you," she said.
He nodded to her, still smiling.
Drysi kneeled beside her and looked at the puppy, petting the hounds soft leafy head. "What will you call her?"
The hound looked at the girl and tilted her head to the side, curious.
"Emmer," Kaiana said. "It sounds like a sensible name for her."
Emmer's tail began wagging again, as if she liked the sound of this.
"Come on Emmer," Kaiana said as she stood. She looked to Drysi and smiled at her, holding a hand to help her up. The older girl accepted, returning the smile, and held on even after she was standing.
"Let's go home."