A/N: Sorry for such a late update. Here's the climax of the story. Really long chapter. Hope you guys like it, though.

I have a twitter account now, if you guys are interested about my updates (or not!).

/ScienceGeek91

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all Twilight characters.

Edward

The moment Bella's hands touched my skin it felt like my entire body had erupted in flames. I felt the kind of passion and desire for the woman before me that I hadn't felt in a really long time. In fact, I had no idea that I was even capable of having feelings of that strong intensity. I had thought time had frozen me and my body was past feeling all human emotions. However, I found out that wasn't the case, apparently.

As she inched her body closer to mine, I realized I too wanted to hold her close, badly. That thought scared me; hell, it terrified me. Just as she was about to touch her lips to mine, I decided it was time for me to stop; I needed to end this somehow. All I knew was that she was someone who still had her entire life ahead of her. She deserved loving someone who would love her back. She didn't need someone like me who couldn't return her feelings. And I couldn't feel the same way, because I was beyond being able to have any kind of emotional attachment. Getting close to her would be a terrible idea when I was so….broken. Broken beyond repair.

That is why, even though acting this way was causing me immense pain for reasons I was unaware of, I pulled back from the embrace of her warm delicate body. I saw surprise and shock wash over her face and it broke my heart to hurt her this way. But, in the long run, this would be best for her.

"I-I am so very sorry, Bella. I can't do this."

With tremendous effort, I forced myself to turn my back to her and ran out of the place and reached the haven that was my car.

I sat still for a while inside the Volvo. My heart was still pounding in my chest. With trembling hands, I reached for the glove compartment and took out the CD that I'd already played almost a thousand times, once for every time that I'd been unhappy. I started the ignition and decided to go back to my loft. As I let the smooth melody of Coldplay's 'Trouble' engulf my mind, I realized what a fool I was. I had been about to make the exact kind of mistake that I was afraid making of. I should have stayed miles away from Bella. Every second that I had been close to her, I had hurt us both. If I had been careful enough, things wouldn't have gone this far. However, now I'd come to my senses. If tonight's incident ever repeats itself, I was going to make the situation clear. I have to be strong enough to be able to see the pain in Bella's eyes at my refusal. But I will be able to live with that as long as I know that she'll not be under my cursed shadow anymore.

Bella

I had read so many things about being in love. I had spent so many hours watching cheesy love stories on the television screen. In real life I'd witnessed people being nauseatingly in love. However nothing could have prepared me for what I felt at present. From what I'd heard, people are supposed to feel happy and content with their life when they were in love, even if it was one-sided. What I felt was nothing but a numb, empty feeling in my chest. I felt like I had been trying way too hard to hold on to something, or rather someone who didn't belong to me in the first place. At the moment, that seemed to be the rational explanation of the sense of loss I felt. Whenever I tried to close my eyes in hopes of seeing his angelic face alight with happiness, all I saw was him walking away the previous night at Central Park.

Of course, I should have seen this coming. What was I thinking, hoping that someone as magnificent as Edward would take an interest in me, plain old Bella? I should have known better than that.

I had called David and told him I wouldn't be able to go to work as I had caught a bad cold. That wasn't exactly a lie though. I did have a cold, but if only that were the case I would never have skipped work. I doubted a broken heart is considered as an illness so I used the cold as an excuse. Honestly, I liked to think that I had missed a day's work because of the cold alone. I hated feeling like a lovesick teenager pining away for someone who couldn't care less about me. My mum, Renée noticed me lying on the bed all day and asked what it was all about. I rarely kept secrets from my mum, so once she kept eyeing me with concern, I started babbling.

"And then he just….left," I concluded when I had told her the whole story. "Mum, this is the first time something like this had ever happened to me and before being able to experience fully what this was, I lost it altogether." I had been holding my tears back all this time, but after saying those words out loud, my eyes welled up.

My mum hugged me and I shed my tears, ruining her dress. "Oh, sweety, I am so sorry," she said patting my back. "I am sure you'll meet someone even better."

This angered me. I pulled back from her arms and looked at her, "Mum, he was the definition of perfection. I really doubt that there's someone better than him," I said, placing my head on her shoulder again.

"Whatever happens happens for the best, dear. We don't know what's written in our fate." She took my face in her hands and said, "I am saying this not because I am your mother. I am telling you the truth. You are a wonderful person and you deserve happiness. I promise you'll find that very soon."

-----------------------------------------------------x---------------------------------------------------

By afternoon, I got sick of staying in bed all day. Gearing up all the courage, I decided to go to the orphanage for my class, as it was a Thursday. Hoping against all hopes that I wouldn't run into him, I reached the classroom. Like always, the kids kept me distracted from all the drama going on in my life. The fund-raising concert was one day later and I had to practice again after class.

With a heavy heart, I went to the empty classroom I had rehearsed in earlier. I practiced my song for a couple of hours and left quickly after promising Sister Charlotte that I'd back the next day for the final rehearsals.

On Friday, I decided to go back to work. At the magazine office, everyone seemed to treat Alice differently. Before, whenever she came down to the second floor, everyone just walked past her without so much as a 'hi.' However, now, Alice was an instant celebrity. Alice herself seemed a little different. Even though her hair was no longer shiny and long and her short, spiky look was back, Alice wore a different set of clothes to work. Instead of the usual jeans and tee, Alice was sporting a plain-looking top and a knee-length skirt together with black ballet flats. She was talking animatedly with David, holding some papers in her hand and gesturing towards the numbers printed on them. Once she was done, she spotted me sitting at my desk and smiled.

"Hmm, nice change in your wardrobe, I see," I remarked, when she walked over to my desk.

She laughed a little nervously. "No, I just borrowed them from my neighbour." At my surprised look, she lowered her voice and spoke conspiratorially, "I just wanted to see my co-workers' reaction at this change. You know, how people say they don't judge others by their outer appearance?"

At that moment, as if to prove her words, Olivia, who had never spared a glance for Alice or me, was walking by and stopped when she saw Alice.

"Oh, Alice, dear! It's so good to see you!" She squealed like they had been best pals for ages.

"Um, yes, hi…?" Alice began, trying to remember who that person was.

"It's Olivia, the seamstress," I muttered slowly under my breath.

"Oh, oh, yes, hi Olivia," Alice greeted in a sarcastic tone.

"I'll tell you what, I am going to the mall after work. Why don't you come with me?" she asked.

"Why would I want to go the mall with you?" Alice asked, shocked. "I mean, we don't usually hang out like that, do we?"

Olivia seemed stunned too at Alice's reply. "Oh, well I thought, there's always a first time for everything, right?"

Alice immediately faked a smile and replied in a sweet voice. "Of course, but I am afraid I already had plans after work. Thanks for asking though."

"Oh, sure, whatever." Olivia walked off, looking a bit pissed off.

"You see what I am trying to say?" Alice asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Crystal clearly," I replied.

"Um, Bella?" Alice began, looking slightly embarrassed. "Okay, this is a bit awkward for me. But I wanted to say 'thanks'. For treating me the same way always," Alice said, looking down at her feet.

"It's not a problem, silly!" Alice looked up at my response and smiled before leaving.

After work, I realized that I still didn't have a dress to wear at the concert. Even though my appearance won't matter to a certain person, I still needed to look presentable. Since it was a semi-formal occasion, a formal evening wear would be inappropriate. On the other hand, since I would be going on stage, I didn't want people to see me in cocktail dress either. So, before leaving the office, I browsed at some online stores. Just when I was about to give up the whole internet shopping, something caught my eyes.

It was a Grecian, silk satin, evening dress in midnight blue. It was floor-length and consisted of self ties at the empire line. The sleeves were short and the neckline was a modest v-shaped one, that didn't show too much skin. Below the waist, the pleating gave the dress an elegant flow. It was something right out of a Disney fairytale, except it was less dramatic and more based on 21st century fashion. Without giving it a second thought, I purchased the dress. I had the perfect pair of strappy heels that would go with that dress.

When I reached the orphanage, I saw a truck load of supplies parked outside the main gate. After I was inside the premises, I found out that stage for the concert was being set up on the so-called soccer field. I noticed Emmett walking around busily, shouting out orders to random men around him. He spotted me and waved and I smiled back. Just as I was about to walk over to where Emmett stood, I saw Edward helping a couple of other men setting up the stage. I walked towards Emmett in a state of daze, with my eyes fixed on Edward. He had his back to me which is why he was probably unaware of my presence.

"Bella!" Emmett exclaimed in his booming voice as I got nearer. I smiled in response.

"It's been so long, Emmett," I said.

"Aw, did you miss me much?" he asked, mischievously.

"Yeah, may be a little," I replied, pretending to be embarrassed.

He laughed out loud and the noise caught Edward's attention. He whipped his head backwards and saw me standing there with Emmett.

"So, all set to steal the show tomorrow night?" Emmett asked.

"You bet," I replied, distracted by Edward's gaze on my face.

I quickly got out from my reverie and pretended to not notice Edward standing a few metres away, looking even more irresistible wearing a grey shirt that clung to his broad chest and sporting a little film of perspiration on his forehead. He was still staring at me with the typical unfathomable expression on his face and that didn't make things a bit more comfortable.

Now that I came to think of it, it was downright embarrassing for him to see me this way after that fateful night's incident. What was I thinking, attacking him like that, only to be pushed away? I was beyond pathetic.

That is why I quickly excused myself from Emmett and rushed towards the orphanage building for my final rehearsals. Thankfully, I was able to go through it successfully, without having Edward even once in my mind. Okay, he must have popped in there once, or twice. When I was finally satisfied with my preparation for the performance on the following night, I quickly left the place after saying goodbye to Sister Charlotte and Emmett.

The next day, in the afternoon, I found myself sitting cross-legged on my bedroom floor, with my fairytale dress that had arrived early in the morning, lying on my bed while I pondered over how to doll myself up. I rarely went out with friends and so I didn't actually have much experience with applying make-up. Besides, I was terrible at it and couldn't bother with all the different products the cosmetic industry produced. Having no other option, I decided to call Michelle. Before she got promoted at the art department, she'd started off as the make-up artist's assistant, initially. So I figured she'd know a thing or two about it.

Michelle was a lifesaver. She arrived at my place in an hour and brought her make-up kit along with her. After gushing over my dress for a while, she got down to business.

While she did my eye make-up, she asked subtly, "So, where are you headed to, anyway?"

I sighed and decided to tell her about my volunteer work.

"By any chance, did you meet that Edward guy at the orphanage?" she asked, still feigning nonchalance.

I had no idea what she saw on my face, but she took my expression to be a 'yes.'

"So, does this dressing up have to do anything with that?" she asked, now curling my hair with her curling iron.

"Oh, c'mon, it's not like that. Besides, he's not interested," I replied, after realizing a little too late what I'd said.

"And you are?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I told you, it's not like that. We're very different from each other and it doesn't matter if I am interested or not," I said, heaving a sigh.

Thankfully, Michelle ended that conversation there. That was one of the reasons why I asked her to come. I could have asked Gabriella too, but she would have pressed on about the issue even if I'd made it clear that I didn't want to talk about it. But then, Gabriella would never have guessed this. She wasn't as observant as Michelle was.

After she was done with my hair and make-up, I decided to put on my dress. After Michelle had complimented me on how terrific I looked, she took off, wishing me good luck. I grabbed my coat and purse and hauled a taxi.

The backyard of the orphanage which had been the soccer field all this time looked completely different. The stage had been set up right next to one of the doors that lead to the orphanage building. In front of the stage, the crowd was beginning to gather. I noticed the orphanage kids huddled at a corner. Jessie and some of his friends noticed me and waved excitedly. There were some outsiders gathered as well, with more people pouring in as I stood there watching. A minute or two later, the door next to the stage opened and I saw Emmett's head peeking out. He spotted me and gestured towards the door.

I quickly made my way to the door that Emmett held wide open. It lead to a room that was serving its purpose as the dressing room. Emmett was dressed in a white dress shirt and black formal pants, grinning from ear to ear.

"Someone looks excited," I commented, noting his enthusiasm.

"Bella, Bella, look at you! Trying to impress someone, are we?" he asked with a mischievous grin.

I ignored the second part of the question. "You cleaned up pretty well, too."

"Oh, Bella! Tonight's going to be awesome!" With these words, his gaze trailed across the room all the way to the corner where Rosalie Hale stood, with her back to us and her left leg resting on a desk while she tied her ballet shoes. She was wearing a pale pink, muslin ballet tutu and her hair was tied up in a bun. When she turned and faced us, I saw, from the corner of my eyes, Emmett dropping his jaw. Rosalie looked breathtakingly beautiful.

She smiled, came forward and extended her hand. Emmett was about to put his hands forward when she spoke.

"It's Bella, isn't it? It's nice to see you again," she replied with a sweet smile.

I could almost hear Emmett silently muttering profanities as I shook hands with Rosalie. After that she just turned backward and walked to the room at the back, without so much as a backward glance at Emmett.

I looked at him, his face devoid of all his previous confidence.

"I've never had trouble with charming women, Bella, but this one is now getting on my nerves!"

I smiled at this. "Maybe you should approach her differently. Don't be obvious about your feelings, you know. Let her keep guessing."

"I suppose it wouldn't hurt to try. What could I lose though, right?" he asked.

"Nothing much, except for your pride and dignity, in case she doesn't come around. But don't worry, that's just a remote possibility," I added, as an afterthought.

He got all serious and I laughed out loud.

"You'll do fine," I said punching his arm and regretting it immediately. My fingers made a loud cracking noise.

While I was flexing my fingers back and forth, Sister Charlotte entered the room.

She was dressed in her usual clothes. She had her traditional black habit on, complete with the matching black headpiece.

"At first, some of our children will be doing a dance number from 'The Wizard of Oz.' Ms. Hale will be performing after that. Mr. McCarty, you'll be next. Ms. Swan will end the show with her song. Good luck to all of you." With that, she left.

Emmett and I settled down on chairs facing the stage outside, so that we could see all the performances, without anyone seeing us. I briefly wondered where Edward was. After all, he had been in charge of the entire concert. Wouldn't he at least have the decency of showing up?

A bunch of eight-year olds took the stage first, as had been instructed by Sister Charlotte. The enthusiastic performers danced around the stage rhythmically to 'If I Were King of the Forest' in their adorable colourful costumes. They exited the stage while the audience clapped endlessly.

Next, it was Rosalie's turn. Emmett told me that she had been practicing at a ballet studio which is why we hadn't seen her around during rehearsals. He also said she took up ballet when she was around four and was extremely good at it. As if to prove his words, Rosalie started off her performance with so much poise and grace that it was hard to believe that it wasn't some animated figure I was watching on television, but a real person. She leaped gently in to the air and came to rest just as smoothly on her toes. She finished by spinning on one of her toes until I started feeling dizzy and then came to an abrupt stop. The place was filled with deafening applause from the crowd as she took a bow and left the stage.

When she entered the dressing room, Emmett's name was announced. I could tell he wanted to congratulate her on her performance, so I leaned towards him and whispered, "Not now. Let her keep guessing, she'll come around." I repeated the same things I'd told him earlier.

He squared his shoulders and confidently walked out on stage with his guitar in his hands. The moment he started playing, I started panicking. I'd go up on that stage in a few minutes and present my vocals for the audience to scrutinize. The all too familiar stage fright engulfed me and I hugged myself, hoping not to fall apart into pieces.

Much too soon Emmett finished his song and as he walked off the stage, I realized I had no idea what or how well he'd played. But I didn't have any chance to regret that because on that precise moment, I heard my name being called.

With my legs feeling as soft as jelly under my silk dress, I walked towards the stage, hoping that I looked more graceful than I thought I did. I heard the swishing sound my dress made as it came in contact with the floor, and I let that bit of sound comfort me. A microphone had been set up on a stand. I re-adjusted it until it was in the same level as my face. I cleared my throat, took a deep breath and started the song.

It seemed like clearing my throat had been unnecessary. As soon as I'd opened my lips to sing the first verse, I noticed the person I'd been looking for the entire evening, standing at the back of the crowd, with his hands crossed across his chest, and the usual serious look on his face. Even among the throng of people, Edward stood out from others. My breath caught in my throat at the mere sight of him standing yards away – he wore a white button down shirt under a black suit with black pants. As always, he looked astoundingly gorgeous.

Somehow, his appearance boosted my meagre amount of self-esteem. I cleared my throat once more and began my song.

Imagine me and you, I do
I think about you day and night, it's only right
To think about the girl you love and hold her tight
So happy together

If I should call you up, invest a dime
And you say you belong to me and ease my mind
Imagine how the world could be, so very fine
So happy together

I can't see me lovin' nobody but you
For all my life
When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue
For all my life

As I continued singing, I didn't dare remove my eyes from Edward's face, in fear that I might mess up the whole performance. Like the other day during the photo shoot, he made me feel more relaxed and confident and I gradually felt my stage fright subside. However, as soon as I'd started singing, I noticed a strange expression taking over his beautiful face. I had seen so many expressions on his face – annoyance, anger, warmth. But this mask he wore seemed completely alien to me. Nevertheless, the expression was obvious.

It was one full of pain; blinding, excruciating pain.

As I watched from the stage, he scrunched up his face and squinted his eyes. It seemed like he was writhing on the insides in physical pain. I stood there, away from him, feeling helpless.

I finished the song in a state of complete daze. As soon as it was over, I noticed Edward turning his back and leaving. I jumped off from the stage and dashed towards the dressing room. In my hurry, I hadn't paid attention to the audience's response. I had no idea if they were clapping out of mere politeness or if they had thoroughly enjoyed the performance and were enthusiastically showing their positive response with the loud applause. All I knew was I had to go find Edward somehow.

I reached the dressing room and grabbed my purse. I scooped out my cell phone from it and dialled the number I had fortunately stored in it just a few days ago.

"Hello?" Alice answered after the first ring.

"Alice, you have to tell me Edward's address," I blabbered, out of breath.

"Bella? What is going on?" she asked, clearly stunned.

"Please, Alice, I don't have time for explanations. Just tell me where he lives. This is important!" I practically screamed.

"Okay, here it is…" I tried to memorize it as she gave me the directions to his loft.

When she was done, I said, "Alice, thank you so much. I promise I am not going to cause any harm to your friend. Trust me. And I swear I'll explain this madness to you later."

After hanging up with Alice, I rushed to the streets outside, stopped a taxi and got in. After giving directions to the taxi driver, I started worrying. Edward looked so hurt and I was afraid I'd messed things up between us after the incident on the other night. I tried to mentally prepare myself to be able to face his rejection again, but at that time, I wasn't going to his place to change his mind or push my luck. I just wanted to make sure that he was alright.

It was then that I thought of it – what if Edward didn't go home? Where will I look for him then? I quickly shook off that thought. If necessary, I'll stay there all night, waiting for him. At one point, he had to come back home.

The taxi came to a halt in front of an old-fashioned building in Brooklyn. I got out quickly, shoved a few dollar notes through the driver's windows and rushed up the stairs, two at a time.

On reaching the fifth floor, I noticed two doors facing each other at the end of the corridor. I walked forward uncertainly, wondering why on Earth I hadn't asked Alice which door lead to Edward's loft. As I neared the doors, I noticed the one on the right side was closed, while the other on the left side was ajar.

Tentatively, I pushed it further and noticed the place was almost in complete darkness, except for a small source of light. The light source turned out to be the television screen, I figured as I walked further into the apartment. Some sort of video was playing on the screen of the flat-screen television that hung on the wall. The occupant of the house seemed nowhere in sight.

As I took a closer look at the television screen, I recognized the song playing in the background. It was the same one I had sung just about an hour ago. The screen showed a young woman with a flock of dark curly hair, wearing her white wedding gown and dancing her first dance with her new husband.

I can't see me lovin' nobody but you, for all my life

When you're with me, baby the skies will be blue, for all my life.

As the song continued playing, I shifted my gaze over to the husband. He was wearing the usual black suit with black tie, his bronze coloured hair in disarray. He face was as familiar to me as my own, but somehow, he looked like a completely different person. He was smiling widely at his new bride, who was dancing in his arms. The scene was so remarkably beautiful that it was hard to look away from his face. He looked so happy!

I was standing a few metres away from the television and from the illumination provided by the light from the screen, I spotted a loveseat at the back of the room, facing the television and two single-seat couches on either side of it placed at right angles. A slight movement at my peripheral vision brought my eyes back to the screen. That was when I noted a shape against the wall from which the plasma hung, sitting on the floor, with its back to the television.

The moment the light from the screen was shed on the familiar reddish-brown mane of hair, I inched closer and sat down beside him, with my back to the wall. I was careful to maintain a distance from him, as I had very recently learned that he was married. I felt sickened with myself. I had been throwing myself at a married man? But if that was the case, where was his wife then? The beautiful dark-haired woman who looked like she completely belonged to Edward?

Edward was still wearing the same set of clothes he'd worn to the concert, except that now he had taken off his suit. He was starting intently at something on the floor, just like he had that day at the orphanage. If he had acknowledged my presence, he didn't show it.

I sat there silently for a while, wondering whether it was ethical to feel this way about Edward now that I know about his marriage. I stopped thinking for a while.

"Edward? What's the matter? Tonight, why did you leave all of a sudden?" I asked in a rush without pausing to breathe.

He was still focusing on the patterns of the carpeted floor, not paying attention. I was not even sure if he had heard me in the first place.

Hesitantly, I inched closer. "Edward, are you okay?"

He didn't answer right away. After a few seconds, he looked up and met my eyes. His expression surprised me. It was still the same one he wore at the concert. He still looked like he was in intense pain.

"This video, what does this mean?" I asked, not being able to hold in my curiosity for any longer.

"It means exactly what you think it does. I am married, Bella," he replied, his eyes looking like they had witnessed immensely difficult times. His eyes made him look a decade older.

Even though it was pretty much obvious, but hearing it come out from his lips – the confirmation of the fact – didn't make it any less painful. I stared back at him, hoping to find out why he seemed so much in agony. As I opened my mouth to ask him so, he lifted his eyes to mine again and all I saw was the deep set emotions for the woman on the screen above us.

He began talking.

Edward

Just like any other weekend, I had taken the refuge of my loft and turned on our wedding video. Like always, being the coward I was, I had turned my back to the screen – I still did not have the courage to see Angela's face when I knew that I would never see her standing before my eyes again. That is why I had shunned myself from watching it. I'd placate myself just by listening to our first dance song or by listening to her honey-soft voice on the video. Yet, I was not strong enough to actually make myself watch that video.

That night, things were a little different, though. I realized that how ironic it was that Bella had to choose that particular song…..

But never in my wildest imagination had I expected her to show up at my door.

I had no idea what to explain to Bella, or even how to begin. I knew I had done injustice to her by not disclosing such a significant part of my life. However, now that she had come to know about it, I decided it would be best to just go ahead and tell her everything. She deserved to know the truth, not being lied to.

I told her every single detail, beginning right from the day I had met Angela. She listened to it wearing an emotionless mask on her face and seemed calm enough as I kept talking. Once or twice she would reach up and scratch the bridge of her nose or smooth the skirt of her dress. During one of her latter actions, I noticed that Bella had dressed up for the occasion. The song she had sung brought back the old memories so fast that I barely had time to see through the haze forming in my vision. That was the same song that had been playing on the radio as I had driven Angela to the beach on our first date. It was her idea to choose that song for our first dance after the wedding, as man and wife. I remember standing amongst the crowd while Bella kept on singing the song – our song, Angela and my song – and it felt like all the pain I had kept stored at one corner were seeping through my veins, crumpling me, disabling me.

Nonetheless, at that moment, as Bella sat next to me, I noticed that, that particular shade of blue did wonders to her ivory skin. The dress looked like it was made for Bella to wear. She looked perfect, beautiful beyond words. Her brown hair was all curled up and it fell back on her shoulders, covering the sides of her face with a dark veil. All these thoughts were not helping me in my current situation so I shoved them aside, resolving to never bring them back to my mind again.

As soon as I came to the part about that fateful day of my life, I realized the familiar feeling of my hands freezing, in spite of the beads of perspiration that had appeared on my forehead. Impulsively, I ran my fingers through my hair, hoping to ease my nerves, but that was of no help.

"It was New Year's Eve. I was going to perform with the orchestra at the Lincoln Centre that night. It was not a big deal, but being one of the 16 violinists seemed like a great honour for me and I remember I had felt excited. Angela sat among the audience while I sat on stage playing the violin she had gifted me on an anniversary. I had put my best efforts that night and I recall the conductor praising me and the other violinists afterwards. When I got down from the stage," I paused to take a breath, "Angela rushed towards me and jumped up into my arms. She was in tears and said she was proud of me," I said with a small sad smile.

I took another pause. The difficult part was coming up and I hoped I had enough strength to tell her the entire story. After taking a deep breath, I began again. "Since it was the end of December, the winter season had struck New York with full force. There had been a blizzard the previous night and the roads were still covered in snow. I was driving my old car, an Aston Martin Vanquish. Out of nowhere, a little girl ran across the street and came right in front of my car. Her mother was following her to try and stop her and so to avoid hitting them both, I-I t-took a right turn and……" I started stuttering. It was hard to go on. I was having trouble breathing.

Without uttering a single word, Bella reached out and gently took my hand in hers. I looked up to meet her eyes and saw that she still wore a neutral expression. After a few seconds, she said, "Edward, you can go on if you want. However, if it's painful for you, then don't." After saying those words, she started rubbing soothing circles on top of my thumb. That relaxed me for a while and I decided I might as well finish the story, no matter how much it hurt.

"The roads were slippery, so the car spun on the snow-covered road and ran straight into a phone booth on the pavement." My breath was coming in harder then. "Angela…..she was lurched forward and….there was an ear-splitting crash as the windshield broke into pieces…and then all I could see was blood. I-I couldn't think clearly. S-she was s-s-seven months pregnant, Bella!" I couldn't control myself any longer. I snatched back my hand from hers and covered my face with my hands.

Like before, remaining utterly silent, Bella reached forward and wrapped her little arms around my shoulders. They were not long enough to reach me shoulder blades, but the gesture was oddly comforting. She slowly patted my back and even though I didn't put my arms around her, I let her console me. That somehow encouraged me to continue.

"She had lost so much blood. They could save neither her nor….my baby." I sighed deeply, pressing my nose deeper into Bella's hair, and allowed the sweet fragrance of her hair calm me down. I breathed in deeply the heavy scent and added, "I was unconscious for days. When I eventually woke up, I found out that my life was over."

I removed myself from her embrace. "I killed my own family – my wife and unborn child – with my very own hands. I mean, how much more meticulously could a man destroy the reasons of his existence?" I saw her shaking her head, and interrupted whatever she was about to say. "Do you know what the worst part is, apart from living a lonely, meaning less life? The fact that kills me further is that I don't have a scratch on me, Bella! I survived the accident that wiped out my family, and I am healthy as a horse! Ah, the cruel jokes life plays on us…" I said, with a mirthless laugh.

After I was done talking, I realized I was out of breath. I felt exhausted, like I'd run miles or lifted some heavy weights. In spite of that, it felt strangely good to let all those thoughts out for someone else to speculate. I noted Bella's expression again. It was one full of shock, horror and agony – all at the same time. I waited patiently, gave her time to fully grasp the meaning of everything I'd said.

A/N: Review please?