Fuck, fuck, FUCK!

She had just handed the phone off to her dad. The police were on the phone, and had to talk to him. Nodding and saying submissive things, his side of the conversation didn't give her much to work with. But it wasn't too hard to figure out...

What could have possibly happened? She'd gone to Costco or something- how hard could it be to just shop for food? But obviously it had been just too much for her, and her mom had to mess up the first week in months without anything going wrong. Well, until now that is.

"Natalie," her dad said in a tone she knew all too well. "I've got to go pick up your mom- can you, I mean- will you be ok?"

Natalie sighed, looking up at him angrily. "Dad- what happened now?"

"Not now, Natalie, I have to go."

"Fine- just go."

"Are you ok, or can you ride along?"

What he meant by ride along was go over to the grocery store and sit in the car while he apologized to whoever her mother had freaked out at, and brought her back in. Then they would act like she wasn't there, and argue the whole time.

"No, dad. I'm fine. Seriously- I'm fifteen. I don't need you to take care of me!" she glared at him, and he looked like he wanted to say something, maybe something encouraging, but he just turned and left.

An hour later when he returned with Diana, Natalie sat up from the couch.

"Dad? Mom? What happened?"

"Not now, Natalie," her dad said, his eyes pleading with her.

"Come on- tell me!" she raised her voice.

"Natalie- just shut up!" her mother screamed. Nat just rolled her eyes.

"You are so fucked up!"

"Natalie!" her father screamed, but she didn't care. She just ran up the stairs and into her room. "Natalie! Get back down her right now!"

Slamming the door, she sat down on the floor with her back to her bed, taking her head in her hands, trying not to make any noise as the tears fell down her face. Trying to push all the frightening images she'd had of her mother over the years out of her mind, she just let herself cry.

At school the following Monday, she made a vow to act like nothing had happened. No one else knows, she told herself. Just act like it's ok. It was usually pretty easy- she wasn't exactly an outcast at school, but she wasn't popular either. She'd had two really close friends throughout middle school, Elizabeth and Danielle, but by high school they had grown apart. Or rather, their parents had found out about her mother and told them- Natalie could remember the day she knew that they knew- they never looked at her the same way again. It was like, because her mom was crazy, then she was suddenly unstable. Well, they weren't good friends anyway

And now, she was too smart and too weird to be friends with. Boys were put off by her intensity and girls were a bit scared of her, and certain people had heard rumors about her mom going into the hospital in the middle of last year. Talk about a great freshman year. Not.

When she walked into the school, no one was there, as usual. She arrived forty minutes early to practice piano, and she wandered downstairs to get some peace, some time away from it all, and just let herself dream that one day she'd maybe get away from all this shit. When she was done playing, she had five minutes to go until her first class, which was geometry.

At first she didn't notice people looking at her, for she was too wrapped up in her own mind. But by the time the warning bell rang, signaling two minutes until classes started, she was starting to feel a bit self-conscious. What the hell? Why was everyone staring? They seemed to all stop talking when she walked by, too... Instantly her mind jumped to the incident on Friday night- but no, it couldn't be that. No one would know, would they? She didn't even know the details!

Bits of conversation followed her down the hallway. Though she wasn't listening, she still caught snippets, and the gave her no more information.

"I heard she like attacked Shelby's mom..."

"They had to call the police..."

"She ruined, like, $400 worth of stuff!"

She rushed into geometry, and was almost late. Her heart was pounding, and as she ran to her desk, she closed her eyes, trying to block everything out. She didn't need to hear anymore, or want to. Why can't it all just go away?Everyone was already there, and a bunch of people were in the corner of the room talking. She was an unfortunate class without anyone she really got along with- most of the class were part of the 'popular' group- a group of losers who just sat around drinking and partying on the weekends, and they were all gossiping. Other than that, the class was made up of her, this super shy kid who looked like a stoner and tended to get bad grades (he sat behind her in class and always looks upset when he got tests back) who was busy listening to his ipod, a kid who she knew to pick his nose, and a stuck up choir girl. Not her cup of tea.

"Goodman!" one kid called from the corner of the room. She jolted up from her seat, so surprised that someone was talking to her. It was this blond kid who was on the football team, and his uber-tanned girlfriend. Natalie didn't like to stereotype- well, she didn't like when people stereotyped against her, at least- but these two just called for it. They were the slut and the manwhore of the high school.

"Hm?" she asked, unable to form a response but for surprise. By now the bell had rung and the teacher had come into the class, looking bleary-eyed and not ready to teach at all. Manwhore looked him up and down before deciding he wasn't a threat, and then continued.

"What's it like living in the nuthouse?"

For a second she just stood there staring, but then it was as though someone had dropped her in a tank of boiling hot water and then instantly into another tank, this time filled with icy cold water. Her tongue seemed not to move, and all the sudden she could feel everyone's eyes on her, waiting for a response.

"I- what?"

"Here!" one girl said, tossing a crumpled page of the local newspaper at her. When she unfolded it, she saw it was the front page, and her eyes balked at the headline:

SUBURBAN WOMAN LOSES CONTROL AT LOCAL SUPERSTORE

And there, in all its 6x7 inch glory, was a picture of her mother, amidst a pile of scattered merchandise and spilled cereal. She didn't need to read the rest of the article- she'd seen it all before. Her mom losing control and leaving others to pick up the pieces. The bits of chatter she'd heard before ran through her head, and she wondered who Shelby was. But instead she shook her head- no, the part about attacking someone was probably just gossip. But this- losing control at Costco- no, she couldn't deny that. Concrete evidence was right here in her hands.

She gradually faded back into the present, and looked up at the kids talking to her, searching for a trace of kindness on their faces. Come on, she thought, somebody help me...

But she was drowning, and no one was coming... They gradually began to laugh at her, and their laughter stung. Tears, damned tears, came out of a hidden place in her body, and she tried to look away.

"Oh, look, she's crying. Maybe she should go home to mommy," the instigator said.

"Oh- she can't, can she? Mommy's crazy!" a voice threw in.

"She's probably nuts too, ya know," somebody else said. "I hear if its in the gene pool, well..." he made a signal with his fingers indicating insanity.

Their laughter just grew. Usually if someone teased her, she would threaten to kick their asses or something of the like- but this came out of nowhere a surprise and a direct hit in one.

She's probably nuts too, she heard in her head over and over again, an echo of her deepest fears shouted out to the entire world.

"You should probably control your mother better, you know," the tan slut said. "She can't go around acting like that- it's dangerous."

"You know," Natalie heard another voice from behind her say, and she cringed, imagining another attack. "You should probably control yourselves better," the voice said. She turned, and saw that it was the stoner ipod kid. He was not looking at her, but at the group of kids in the corner. "You're a bunch of assholes for going around picking on other people. Especially smarter, more talented people." He glared at the group for a second, and Natalie's heart flipped- was someone really sticking up for her? Did she hear him right? "At least think of some more creative insults- you sound like losers... jeez."

And with that, he'd put his headphones back on. For a brief second, she wondered what he was listening to, before he looked up at her and smiled warmly. The corners of her mouth twitched, but she couldn't bring herself to smile just yet.

"So you've got the failing, idiot pothead on your side... good for you."

"I think they've found love, Matt," on of the kids said to Manwhore, whose name was apparently Matt. Natalie wasn't good with names. It was so great that the first one she learned out of the whole class was his. Not.

"Aw- the emo crazy girl and the stoner... How sweet," he said, leering. The tan girl cackled.

"That's enough," came the teacher's voice from his desk in the back of the room. He glared at the kids in the corner, and turned to smile at Natalie. His smile sickened her, and she turned away.

"Natalie, come here for a second," he said, and her stomach churned. Like hell, she said to herself, but he just said her name again and she felt herself walking towards the desk.

"Natalie," he whispered, trying to act concerned while all the other students listened in. "What they did was uncalled for. If you ever need to talk, me and all the other teachers are here..." he droned on and on, but all Natalie could think about was how he ignored the conflict until after the majority of damage had been done. Thanks so much, Teach. You're such a great help.

She knew it would probably only make it worse, but she asked for a pass to leave early anyway. At first the teacher protested ("I'm not supposed to let students leave...") but finally he gave in. Ignoring everyone's eyes on her, she walked back to her seat to retrieve her backpack. About to bend down for it, ipod stoner boy handed it to her, smiling again. Not a happy smile, but a kind one. This time she smiled back. But only for a second.

When she got home, she didn't speak to her mother or father. She couldn't forgive them for not telling her about all this, and she wouldn't even give them the power of knowing that they'd hurt her.

"How was your day?" her dad asked, noticing her miserable facial expression he picked her up from school.

"Being a sophomore sucks," she said simply. "I can't wait to get out of here."

The next day at school, she braced herself for math class. When she walked in, everyone was quiet. Though it was harsh still, it was better than yesterday. For a second, she looked at Ipod boy. He wasn't looking at her- in fact, he was looking everywhere but her. Well, I guess one good deed is enough. He probably wasn't actually very nice anyway, she told herself. She didn't want to admit she had kind of banked on him possibly being her friend.

Well, fine. If he could ignore her, she could ignore him. She didn't need him.

That was why she was so surprised when, a year later, he walked into her practice room.