November, Two Days Before the Wedding

Natalie didn't think she had ever been so busy. Everyone was arriving, and she couldn't make another petty decision without going crazy. The wedding was on Saturday, and they had checked into the hotel today, along with everyone in Henry's family and her own. Henry's sister Emily was ten years older than he was, and his parents were much older than Natalie's. Henry had been- how to say politely- well, a 'surprise and blessing,' to quote Marianne, his mother. Her dad and both sets of grandparents were there, friends from college were arriving more and more by the day, and cousins and aunts and uncles were trickling in quickly. Emily and her husband were there, too, along with their young daughter Anna, and Natalie's favorite piano teacher had arrived. Coworkers were coming in on Saturday for the wedding, including the boring old principal of the school Henry had been working at for only a few months. Everyone was there, in fact, except one person.

"Dad," Natalie said again, for the hundredth time that day. "Have you spoken to mom?"

Dan looked at Natalie again, rubbing the corners of his eyes. "Yes, Nat- she's running late, but she'll be here any minute. Don't worry, everything is going to work out."

Again, she just swallowed her worries and nodded. It would have to work out. This was her chance for everything to be ok.

"I'm going to go check on your grandparents," Dan said. "She may need help getting her luggage upstairs."

Natalie just nodded and let him pat her on the knee. He left her sitting alone on the hard couch in the lobby of the hotel, staring at her converse sneakers.

The past few months had been such a whirlwind- she and Henry had left grad school, and he'd been very busy looking for jobs in local areas. Within a month, a high school had picked him up to by the band and jazz band director in the fall. He joked that they hired him so fast because he was right out of school and couldn't be paid much, and Natalie didn't really argue. In the meantime, he'd been going to houses and teaching beginning piano. Henry had been getting a lot of headaches recently. She, on the other hand, was working as an event and performance planner with the Boston Symphony, planning when people were coming to watch rehearsals and such. For the time being, it was a good job. Neither were making much money, but hey- they couldn't ask for more. After all, it was only November and both their businesses had given them two weeks off for the wedding and honeymoon- a rare and precious commodity.

She'd even gotten together with her mom a few times recently, for lunch and such. Apparently Diana was well enough to attend the wedding- Natalie had made sure to contact her doctors- and it would not be too much for her. She was sure she'd given her mother all the correct information- after all, she'd spoken to her on the phone two days ago! She was supposed to have arrived on Wednesday morning; it was Thursday evening.

"Goddammit! Where is she?!" Natalie grunted, digging her toe into the carpeting, and swore loudly. Someone a few feet away from her coughed, and she looked up to see Henry's tiny, ninety-year-old grandma looking disdainfully at her. Natalie blushed.

"Sorry, Rosie..." Natalie stood up and strolled around the lobby, needing some air. Wrapping her sweater around her, she went out in front of the hotel. People would need her soon, to supervise the final decorating of the ballroom they were renting out, but she could let them wait. The demands on her were too much, really- she couldn't thank her father enough for taking so much of this wedding on himself, but he couldn't do everything, and without her mother to chip in with opinions here and there, she and Henry had a lot of responsibility on them.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, and she flipped it open, revealing a picture of a giant cake with Harry Potter on it, complete with the words, "The Magic of Love Awaits!"

What? she wondered, and scrolled down, finding that the message was from Henry. He wrote: Found out this was an option. WTH didn't we get it? ;)

She rolled her eyes, and answered: No words on the wedding cake!

Three seconds later, it buzzed back: So can I get a cake w/ HP on it if there's no words?

She laughed, then typed: You're on thin ice, buddy. Get back to work!

Henry and his dad were picking up the cake and moving it to the hotel, where it would stay refrigerated until the reception on Saturday. Geez- if Henry was texting her about Harry Potter cakes, he much be just as bored as she was with all this crap. Why couldn't they just jump forward a week and be married, without going through all this shit?

Because then you wouldn't get a honeymoon, she told herself. Well, there was a silver lining to everything.

Getting chilly, she went back inside. Some people went out to dinner that night, but she, Henry, his parents and her dad and a couple other family members just decided to eat at the hotel. Every few minutes, she kept checking the messages on her cell phone and fidgeting about.

"excuse me for one minute," she told the group, before leaving the restaurant and going over to the front desk.

"Excuse me," she said. "But has a Diana Goodman checked in yet?"

The perky receptionist bustled over to the computer. "You know, dear... I don't think so. I've been at this desk all day and no Diana came by, but I'll check anyway." She hummed a little and clicked the mouse a few times. "Sorry, sweetheart. Not yet."

"That's ok... Didn't expect her to." Natalie's heart sank even more. She was now almost two days late, and no call. She wasn't answering the phone when Natalie called, either.

Natalie didn't want to tell anyone, but her mom showing up late like this... or worse, not coming at all, was really bothering her. People thought she hated her mother, and could never forgive her. Maybe they'd never be close, but Natalie wanted her mom at her wedding more than anything.

She'll be here, she tried to tell herself. Just wait.

Diana stood in front of the mirror in her bathroom in her apartment, constantly looking at her watch. You can do this, she told herself. Natalie wants you there.

It was too late to make it there for dinner, she was sure, but if she left first thing in the morning she could surely make it. But how would everyone treat her? She'd spoken to Natalie and Dan frequently, but what about Dan's parents? They never liked her, even before she had left the family. And what would Henry's parents think about her? They surely knew everything by now.

Was she strong enough to face all these people? Fear shook through her when she imagined walking into the party, the people there, waiting for her to crack, watching like hungry sharks. They would want her to fail, she would feel it.

I'm not strong enough.

Her phone rang again, and she saw on the caller ID that it was Natalie, again. She closed her eyes and sat on her bed, taking her head in her hands. I have to be strong enough, for Natalie. It's her day, it's her time to shine.

That night, Natalie lay alone in her bed at the hotel (she and Henry had been sleeping together since freshman year of college, but to appease everyone they'd booked two rooms. After all, they were only in the hotel two nights, and they needed to sleep separately on the eve of their wedding anyway). She tossed and turned, unable to sleep. She was supposed to be worried about leaving her single life behind, fretting over having sex with the same person for the rest of her life and all that. But she could only see her mom's face when she closed her eyes.

Goddamit, Mom! she cried out in her head. Couldn't you be here for me just once? I'm getting married, for god's sake. Just think of me for once- I don't ask for much!

If she wasn't there on Saturday, Natalie didn't know what she would do. She would have to make it through the day, and wait until everything was over before she freaked out. She would force herself to have a good time, or at least fake it. She'd save the tears for after the reception.

And Dad will be there, too. Don't forget. That was true. He was so gung-ho over this, it was almost sickening. Natalie could tell that his lack of a real wedding had sort of come out in the planning of her own. But he was so focused on making this nice for her and Henry that she would be ever grateful for it. He'd really been wonderful in the past few years.

If she's not there, Natalie thought, don't you dare do something stupid, like freak out and throw an tantrum. You don't owe her that- don't let her ruin anything else for you. Or Henry. Don't ruin this for Henry.

Henry. She wouldn't mess this up for him. Sitting up in bed, she rubbed her neck and her eyes, which she'd realized were leaking some tears. The red digital clock next to her red 12:09, and she knew she'd have to fall asleep soon or else feel horrible in the morning. But her stomach was feeling jumpy, and she suddenly felt like she had all the energy in the world. She stepped out of bed, pulled on a sweatshirt, grabbed her keycard, slipped on her flip-flops and left the room.

For a few minutes, she just wandered like a ghost through the halls, passing all of the anonymous rooms. She tried not to think about the fact that her mother was not in one of them. She'd been wandering for a half-hour when she started feeling sleepy again; but the thought of returning to her room was not promising. Instead, she found the elevator and ascended one floor level, knocking on the door to room 1412.

"Wha- hello? Who's that...?" the voice came from inside, and she couldn't help but smile.

"It's me," she said, and the door opened. Henry's eyes were puffy and he was squinting at the light, his hair all crumpled on one side.

"Sorry- I woke you! I just figured you'd be awake for some reason... I wasn't thinking."

"No, it's ok, come in." She stepped into his dark room. "Couldn't sleep?" he asked, and she nodded, but then remembered he couldn't see her.

"Yeah. I was just thinking about mom. I mean, she's still not here, and she was supposed to be here Wednesday, and I can't reach her..." Natalie's voice broke. "Henry, what if she doesn't show up? What'll we do?"

"We get through it, and get married, then I send her a strongly-worded letter later."

Natalie just sighed. "Henry- it's not that simple. I'm her only child-I don't care what mom and dad say- I'm the only one. She owes it to me to be here, and I don't know why she doesn't want to be- for god's sake, Henry, when- if, whatever- we have kids, I am never, ever doing this to them, I'll be at everything for them. I mean, what the hell? I'm getting married! This wasn't sudden or anything, she's known for months, why doesn't she care? Why does she hate me so much?"

"Natalie, she doesn't hate you. You know she's got other things to worry about-"

"Yeah- other things like her dead son, and her own health and all that. I asked for one thing from her, really. How complicated is it to love your own daughter? How fucked up to you have to be to spend your whole life wishing she was someone else?" she felt her eyes tearing up while she said this. "And, the fucked up part is, I still love her! I still need her here! I mean, why should I care? She's treated me like shit- the only good thing she ever did for me was leave. And she's not here, and all I want is for her to come back. She hurts me when she's with me, and when she's not- when will I win?"

"She does love you- you know that. She just... can't do it properly," Henry said. "I'm sure she'll be here tomorrow, Nat. But if she's not- well," he drew her closer and wrapped his arms around her, and she buried her face in his chest to try and disguise the fact that she was crying, "you've got a lot of other people here for you. I mean, just look at everyone here who loves you. And what I've been thinking this whole time is that the wedding doesn't matter anyway-"

"I know... it's the marriage," she rolled her eyes.

"I was going to say the tax benefits and sex every night, but ok."

She laughed. "Don't even try to act like you're not a hopeless romantic!"

"Oh, well. See, I have faults, too..."

"Not as hurtful ones," she argued.

"Well, that's why you're marrying me, and not her," he explained.

"Um, eew, Henry."

"Stay here tonight," he said, leaning back onto the bed. She lay down next to him, and instantly felt sleepy.

"'Kay." It was only a minute before they both fell asleep.

That morning, Henry woke early for once, and sat up. Natalie was just stirring, and he noticed it was only seven-thirty. She opened one eye.

"Hey," she said.

"Morning, sleepy."

She groaned and sat up, looking at the clock before flopping back down against the pillows. "I have to get back to my room..."

"Naw, you don't. Come on, it's not like a secret. We practically live together-"

"No, I have to get dressed and everything, and all my clothes are downstairs." She leaned over and kissed him.

"I'll see you at breakfast, ok?"

She nodded. "Meet you in a half-hour."

Opening the door quietly, she went out into the hallway, jumping when she spied someone coming down the hall. She hoped to god it wasn't Henry's grandma again- she didn't need to give any other reasons to think she was 'improper.'

"Good morning!"

Oh, it was just Emily.

"Hey," Natalie said. "How are you?"

"I'm fine. Look at you, sneaking back in the morning..." Emily laughed, and Natalie rolled her eyes.

"I, uh, couldn't sleep."

"I understand," Emily winked. Natalie blushed. Discussing her sex life, or alluding to it, with Henry's only sibling was not exactly comfortable. At least it wasn't grandma.

"I have to go get dressed," Natalie said, moving towards the elevator.

"Ok- see you downstairs."

A few minutes later, Natalie was in the elevator, hair still wet because she hadn't bothered to blow it dry. The lobby was filled with people, some of which she knew, but most of which she didn't, and everyone was greeting her and introducing themselves. Henry came to her rescue and led her towards where her father was sitting.

They sat down on the couch with Dan and Henry's parents and were chatting for a few minutes before Henry turned around and looked out glass doors. A well-groomed woman with light-brown hair was pulling a small suitcase through the automatic doors. Henry turned back around and poked Natalie lightly on the arm to get her attention.

"Look," he sat, nodding to the woman at the desk and smiling.

Her heart skipped a beat, and, abandoning all her anger from the night before, jumped up from her chair and ran over to the front desk.

"Mom!" she cried, and hugged her tightly. "I'm so glad you're here."

Diana leaned back and looked Natalie up and down. "You look good," she said. "Happy. Are you?"

Natalie smiled, nodding vigorously. "Yes, I am, Mom. Thank you so much for being here." Despite herself, she hugged her again, surprised by how wonderful it felt when her mom hugged her back.

"I wouldn't miss if for anything, Natalie."

"Come on, I'm sure everyone wants to see you..."

Natalie tugged her along back towards the rest of her family.

Hoped you liked that! Seriously, anyone who's reading these, PLEASE review. I'm seriously getting desperate- let me know what you think, I really could use some feedback!