A/N: I have a twitter account now, in case you guys are interested about my updates (or not!).

/ScienceGeek91

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all Twilight characters.

Bella

I had promised myself that I would not shed a single more tear for Edward. I wouldn't let his rejection cause me any more pain that it already had. Yet, I couldn't stop myself from weeping really hard as soon as I had stepped out of the apartment building. I got into a cab and wept silently at the back seat so as not to arise any confusion in front of the cab driver. Once I got home, I avoided everyone's stares and rushed up to the safety of my room. Slamming the door behind me, I slid down on the floor and bit on my lip as fresh tears rolled down my cheek. I sat there in the darkness of my room until the sun set. Thankfully, my family members gave me my privacy and no one, not even Renee came up to check on me.

When I had run out of my tears, my insides felt empty and it was not because the last meal I had was at Edward's house. After sitting in that position for so long, my back hurt. However that pain was very insignificant to what I felt on the inside. It was like a part of me was missing, like I had left it behind. My throat felt dry. I got up in an instant, as a result of which my head spun and I had to steady myself by holding the door. I wrenched open the door, flew down the stairs and reached the kitchen. I took out a water bottle from the fridge and started drinking the ice cold water from the bottle itself. The water slashed down the side of my lips, drenching my clothes I hadn't changed since morning.

I finished the entire bottle within a minute and after I was done, I pressed the cool surface of the bottle on my forehead, hoping the condensation would calm my nerves. That was when I realized that in my hurry to reach the kitchen, I had not paid attention to anything else that was going on in my house. Now that I was coming back to my senses, I could hear the television on in the living room with some football match going on. Charlie must be home. I could also hear Renee on the phone talking with my Grandma Marie. Oliver must be up in his room. It seemed strange to realize that all these people were there for me. They cared if I was unhappy. If I wished, I could gather them all the living room and cry my heart out, if I had not done that already. They would still be patient with me as I related my pathetic story to them. Then why should I waste my time behind people who didn't care that much?

So I wiped the last lingering teardrop from my face and raided the fridge until I felt like I was going to be sick. Next, I walked up to my bedroom, removed my day old clothes and took a shower. After putting on a fresh pair of pyjamas, I knocked on my parent's bedroom and found my mother doing some knitting. I smiled wide at her and plopped down on the bed and talked to her about the most random things. My mother didn't guess anything was wrong because we do this practically on every weekend. After sharing all my workplace gossip with her for an entire hour, I had to stifle multiple yawns. So I bid her a goodnight and went back to my room.

Once I had lied down on my bed, I hid my head under my pillow to muffle the sobs that threatened to escape my mouth, as the tears started streaming down again.

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Monday morning

It had been several hours since our current issue had hit the newsstands. We were all at the edge of our seats, our nails already bitten as we waited tensely for the reviews. My situation was even worse than the rest of them. If we didn't get positive reviews, I would be unemployed. And finding another job in this time of global economic crises was simply impossible; which is why I sat at my desk, with my fingers crossed.

David had showed me one of the copies in the morning. The pictures were even more awe-inspiring on the glossy pages. The whole setting, the Central Park background and the greenery – everything looked utterly amazing. Alice looked splendid as well, not precisely supermodel material like Heidi Klum, but still marvellous in her own way.

However, as much as I would have liked it to be otherwise, I had other matters at hand to worry about. Edward was still very much present in every corner of my head. On top of that, his words still blared in my ears, loud and clear. But the truth was that I was hurting to see him go through so much pain. And I had to do something about it since apparently no one else was. If he continued to live this way, he would not survive. May be that had been his intention all along – to stop living in order to die.

That thought sent a tremor through my body. No, I could not let him waste his life in this way. I didn't care that he didn't want me (I tried not to flinch at this thought). I didn't give a damn that he absolutely lost his temper when I advised him to yank himself out from this miserable state. If he would let me, I would try to save him.

I was jilted back from my superhero mode at around noon when David called me into his office.

"Bella, we just got the initial reviews. So far they seem positive enough," he said cheerfully.

I heaved a deep sigh of relief. "Does that mean I still get to work here?" I asked hopefully.

"Oh c'mon, my mother was not exactly being serious when she said that. We both knew what we were doing when we carried out that photo shoot. As a matter of fact," he sat up straight and cleared his throat, "if things go as well as they are looking at the moment, you could start expecting a promotion soon," he added, with a smile.

My eyes grew wide and my jaw dropped. "Are you kidding me?" I asked, not completely taking his words to be true.

"Of course I am not, Bella. I am very impressed with your work so far and you absolutely deserve this. I remember you mentioning that you did a little bit of writing, so does a position of a columnist sound good to you?" he asked, with mischief in his eyes.

I screamed out loud. "David! That's huge! You really can't be serious about that?"

"Now, now don't get too excited about that. It's really a small column. More importantly, I would have to see some of your writings before I could consider you for that position. Do you understand what I am saying?"

I nodded, as gradually my spirits were sinking. I would have to write something really good if I really wanted that promotion. Nevertheless, I forced a smile and said, "David, I feel so honoured that you would even think of me to be capable of such a job. I promise I will try my best to hand you some really good pieces of writing. I will not let you down."

"I am counting on you, Bella. Oh, and one more thing, who was the photographer who took Alice's pictures for the photo shoot. It certainly wasn't our usual man, James, was it?" he asked.

I wrinkled my nose and shook my head. None of the people working here were fond of that shabby-looking creepy photographer. He kept hitting on everyone. "No, it wasn't. James took off a week before the photo shoot saying that he got a better offer at some magazine in L.A. This new guy is called Jasper Whitlock. He had worked with Harper's Bazaar and Vanity Fair before so he seemed pretty appropriate for the job. Why do ask?" I questioned.

"No, I just noticed that this issue's photographs were livelier, more personal than the stuffs James had been shoving down our throats since the past few years," he pretended to shudder at the thought. "I personally don't regret his leaving this job," he whispered conspiratorially.

I laughed. "I definitely second that."

I felt exuberant after talking with David. I also wished other aspects of my life had been going this smoothly as well. I decided not to make myself unhappy over that detail any more. With that thought in my mind, during lunch I climbed up to the third floor to congratulate Alice on the successful magazine cover.

However, after I had climbed two flights of stairs as I started walking towards the accounts section, I suddenly heard someone talking in hushed voices.

"Why won't you leave me alone? I thought I had made myself pretty clear the last time we saw we each other." I recognized Alice's voice.

"No, please don't say that. You have no idea how hard these past two years had been for me. I waited all this time, hoping that you would change your mind. But I couldn't take it anymore." The male voice was unfamiliar.

"But you know what I want. I have responsibilities, Jasper," Alice pleaded.

"I know that now. I was stupid to pressure you earlier. But I have realized my mistake now. We will do things the way that you want," Jasper said.

I pressed myself against the wall so that they wouldn't see me. So Alice and Jasper knew each other. I knew eavesdropping was not the best thing to do but doing so I had come to know that the two must have had a history. Well, I knew better than to mention about it to Alice. When the time was right, I hoped she herself would tell me about it.

It seemed bizarre now. I had seen the photographer snapping away Alice's photos and not for a single moment had it seemed like the two had had something going on in the past. Jasper Whitlock - the tall, lean and blond young man who had just joined Haute Couture – had been in a relationship with our little pixie, Alice? It really was hard to believe. I was aware of the fact that he was a talented photographer, but romancing someone like Alice? The guy must be exceptional.

Once I was sure that both of them had left the staircase hallway, I made my way to Alice's cubicle. She had her bent down, reading something lying on her desk. When she sensed me standing there, she looked up and smiled. That was something I still needed time to get used to. It was still surreal to have her behave friendly with me.

"Hey there, Bella. What's up?" she asked, with all the previous strain in her voice I had heard during her conversation with Jasper gone.

"You tell me. I just talked with David and he said the magazine sales are going quite well so far. So what do you think, are you expecting any calls from Donatella Versace or Oscar de la Renta anytime soon?" I asked, hoping to distract her from whatever was bothering her.

She laughed out loud and I knew my plan had worked. "Is that so? That's good news then, I guess. Enough about me, tell me about you. How are things going?" she asked, raising an eyebrow and I knew what she was talking about.

I pretended not to notice the hint in her voice. "Everything is going very well, thank you." I told her about my upcoming promotion, carefully avoiding talking about Edward.

She seemed excited enough about my good news and fortunately didn't mention the issue about Edward, for which I was thankful.

We headed to the cafeteria together for lunch. Once we had filled our food trays, Alice lead the way and I was surprised when she didn't stop at our usual table where Eric, Michelle and Grace were already seated. She gave them a friendly wave but kept walking towards an empty table at the corner. I gave them a perplexed look, trying to convey that I was just as confused as they were. Without a word, I kept following her.

Once we reached the empty table, she stood before a chair, holding her tray. "So are you going to tell me what exactly is going on with you and Edward?" she muttered through her gritted teeth, narrowing her eyebrows.

I swallowed loudly but did not back down. My previous resolve about not asking Alice about her love life broke and I opened my mouth before I had even thought it through. "Only if you tell me what is going on with you and the photographer guy." I hated being so nasty but if there was any way I could escape her interrogations regarding Edward, I would take it. However, it seemed like her concern for Edward won over everything else, even discussing her personal life.

"Fine," she muttered, dropping the tray on that table. She looked clearly annoyed and I smiled sweetly back at her. "I hate you, Swan, like literally," she spat.

I sighed, removing my precious charade of cheerfulness. "Yes, I kind of hate myself too, at the moment." At my response, she looked confused. Suddenly, Alice grabbed my hand, startling me and asked, "What on earth happened?"

So I told her all about my foolish attempt to get Edward out of his depression. She listened to all of it, slowly chewing her tuna sandwich. Once I was done, I took a swig of water from the bottle to wet my parched throat and said, "Okay, now go ahead and scream at me."

To my utter amazement, she remained just as quiet as before. She didn't even pay attention to me. She looked at her food tray while she opened her can of soda. The can opened with a sharp noise, and some of the drink spilled on the table. Very calmly, she started wiping the table with a napkin. After the table was spotless, I said, "I am growing a beard over here."

She carefully dumped the dirty napkin into her food tray. After finishing her soda, she finally looked up to meet my eyes. "You are a very stubborn person, Bella. Has anyone ever told you that?"

Needless to say, I was shocked to see her go out of track. I was expecting a full-blown speech on how I should stop messing with Edward and stay out of his life, etc. If she hadn't known him all her life, then she would have scolded me for losing my dignity and trying to forcefully make a place for myself in his life.

"And….?" I prompted her to continue.

"And so I figured you wouldn't listen to me if I asked you to stop making these attempts. You would still keep trying even if he said you 'no' right in your face." I winced slightly at this. Seeing my reaction, her expression softened and she gave a small sad smile. "He himself brought this upon him. Not the accident, no. That was just a cruel twist of fate. The way he is treating himself now, that is definitely his fault. And once he makes up his mind about something, no one can change that. So, I am sorry to say, but you giving a shot at this might be futile. He is not going to change," she concluded with a sigh.

I listened to her the entire time with my mouth wide open. After she stopped talking, I realized that and snapped my mouth shut. Of course, Edward wouldn't change his mind. But like Alice had said, I was just as obstinate. Even though this detail about me was sort of new to hear but now that she had said it, it seemed very much true. I would still try to help him get back on his life, if he would let me.

This reminded me about my last night's resolution on not interfering with his life anymore. No, I didn't promise myself that. I had vowed that I wouldn't try and hope about a…..future with….us together…in it. No, I was not that big of a fool. Instead, I would make an effort to make him smile; so that he could forget about his pain for a while.

Alice had been silent all this time. I was so deeply immersed in my thoughts that I was suddenly surprised when I realized I was at the office cafeteria, sitting with Alice.

"I care about him, Alice," I said, placing both my palms on my chest for emphasis. "Every time I see all that pain in his eyes, it kills me. I can't sit here and do nothing while he destroys himself that way." I shook my head. Saying those words out loud motivated me even further.

She sighed again. She placed her hands on the table, clamped them together and rested her forehead on top of her adjoined hands. "I really hope you succeed in this, Bella. It had been hard for me too, to watch him in agony for this long." With her head bent, her words came out as a muffled sound. I reached out and tried to comfort her by patting her shoulder.

"I am sorry I eavesdropped to your conversation with Jasper," I mumbled, feeling ashamed.

Her head snapped up at this revelation. "So that is how you came to know, huh?" she questioned, raising an eyebrow.

I panicked. She would burn me alive now. "I swear, I really didn't mean to. I only went upstairs to tell you about the magazine sales. Then when I heard your voice, I got confused and stopped there at the staircase hallway."

"Don't bother. There's nothing to hide anyway. My story is not something overly dramatic or something. Jasper and I met when we were in college. We were in a relationship for five years. Then he asked me to move in with him and I said no." She concluded with a shrug.

I couldn't hold my curiosity. "So why did you say no?"

"I was not that type of a girl, Bella!" She stated it like I should have already guessed. "I didn't want to be some kind of a burden for him. I didn't need him to take my responsibility. Besides, I had two little brothers to think about. I couldn't just leave them on their own…" she said.

I understood what she meant. But somehow, I could see Jasper's viewpoint as well. "Alice, I am sure he didn't want you to lose your independence, if that's what you were worried about. I bet he just wanted to take the relationship to the next level, to make things more permanent, you know what I mean? He didn't want you to think of yourself as a burden of some sort. Five years is a long time, Alice. And today, I heard the pain in his voice. He really seemed to have missed you. But, then what happened? Had you stopped seeing each other since the last two years, like he had said?" I asked.

Alice sighed again and wrapped her hands around herself, looking like she was cold. "No. He got an offer as a photographer in Paris and he had said he would sort things out with me after he got back. I shifted houses and he kept looking for me, until he heard about this position of a photographer at this magazine. He agreed to do the job, before even realizing that I worked here as well. He saw me first on the day of the photo shoot. Oh Bella!" she cried out suddenly. "It was so difficult for me to smile at the camera and pretend to be normal while he of all people took my pictures. It's amazing the way things turn out. He had been nagging to take pictures of me since we met and every time I had refused. I could tell from his expression that day at Central Park that he couldn't have been happier. As for me, I was still reeling from shock of seeing him after so many months. I can't describe how I felt at that moment; it was such a strange feeling. I was still angry at him at the same time I felt ecstatic to see him."

"Now I realize that I had been running away from him. I don't know why. We had such amazing understanding between us but still I felt afraid sometimes. That fear became too much to swallow at one point and so I purposely lost contact with him after he left for France. And now he is back again and I don't know what to do." She concluded and looked up at me with tired eyes.

I stared at Alice with awe. I really did not expect her to be so open and honest about a topic that was clearly very sensitive. Yet, there she said everything out loud. It felt nice to know that she had come to trust me after all this time.

"You know, it's not very unusual. I bet there are loads of other people who had been exactly in your shoes or even worse circumstances. We are humans after all. It's okay to freak out once in a while," I tried to console her.

"This is not 'freaking out', Bella. It's called having 'commitment issues'," she replied back, with venom in her voice.

"You need some more time, that's all," I still tried to make her feel better.

"You are an annoyingly optimistic person, Bella, do you know that?" She remarked, after pulling herself back together.

And I had no reply to that.

A/N: Review please?