A/N Part two, here ya go. Sorry it took so long, living situations are being changed, so will take awhile to post anything else, though I do hope to have something posted for How To Save A Mockingbird this next week.
Please R&R! : )
Burn With Me
Part Two
Martha's screams echoed in his head as the Doctor threw himself out of his bed, the plea still on his lips as she had fallen, limp, from his grasp onto the floor. He planted his feet on the floor, running his fingers roughly through his hair, sending it into even further disarray as he attempted to sort out dream from reality, his breathes coming in ragged arches.
Had he really killed her, had her really killed Martha? No, no no no. He remembered them escaping the grip of the sun. He and Martha had both left the small ship they'd been on, minus the captain and a couple passengers, but that was unavoidable wherever he went, all the time. Martha was alive, and safe. She had to be.
But it had felt so real… her throat in his grip, her screams in his ears, watching her writh and fall to the floor… dead. Had it been real? No. No it couldn't be.
But, if that was the case, why did he continue to hear her screaming?
Blankets still wrapped around his waist tore off the bed as the Doctor scrambled to his feet. Yanking open his door, he bolted down the hall to the room where Martha spent her nights – at least, the ones they spent aboard the TARDIS; the screams originated from there.
Martha, her sheets wrapped tightly around her body, sweat-soaked as his own has been. The Doctor knelt on her bed, grasping her shoulders firmly. "Martha!" He shouted, shaking her. "Martha, wake up! You're dreaming, dreaming, Martha! Please, wake up!"
Her screams turned to mostly unintelligible pleas; all he could understand was his name. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, and blankets clenched in her fists as her body went rigid.
The Doctor growled in frustration and helplessness. He stroked her cheek and hair, trying to calm her down. "Martha, Martha, please wake up! It's ok, we're in the TARDIS. Remember the TARDIS? Blue police box, bigger on the inside? We're safe, Martha. Please wake up!" He shook her shoulder again.
With a gasp, Martha's eyes shot open, and she shrieked, flinching away from the Doctor, falling off the opposite side of the bed. The Doctor hurried to her side, reaching out to steady her but stopped when she flinched again, breathing rapidly, eyes wide and staring at him.
The Doctor watched her warily. "Martha?" he asked gently. "Do you recognize me?"
His Companion stared at him for several moments. Finally, she nodded. "Yes." She sighed. "Yes, I do. Sorry, Doctor. Just…" she trailed off, a faint blush creeping up her cheeks, her eyes flickering down to the floor. "I had a… a nightmare." She drew her knees up to her chest. "Sorry if I woke you."
"No, no, no. No, it's ok," the Doctor reassured her. "I was already awake." He gave her a small smile, which faded. "What did you dream about?"
Martha shook her head. "Just… about what happened, back on the ship, with that – that sun creature." She shrugged. "That's all."
The Doctor raised a single brow at her. "That's all? You didn't scream like that on the ship." He touched her arm, this time not drawing back when she flinched. "There's more than what you're saying. Please, Martha, tell me what happened."
Martha rested her chin on her knees with a sigh. She thought about brushing him off, but the Doctor would just keep after her, in that concerned way of his, until she relented. He meant well, but she didn't want to upset him with what her dream had been about. She was in a lose-lose situation. Well, he had asked her. He would understand, wouldn't he?
After a moment, she said, "It was about the sun creature, like I said. And you, being possessed by it. But… things went differently than they really did." Her lips pressed tightly together. "A lot differently."
The Doctor scowled inwardly. He could see where this was going. Cautiously, he sat down next to her, taking her hands in his own. "I attacked you, didn't I?" he asked softly. "In your dream, I hurt you, didn't I?" A quiet sob was all the confirmation he needed. "You know I'd never willingly do that to you!" He squeezed her hands for emphasis. "Never! It was just a dream, Martha."
Martha shrugged, her eyes still on the floor. "I know, Doctor. But… it was so, so real." She glanced up at him briefly. "You, possessed, were real. My fear, was real. My pain was real. So very real."
The Doctor slipped his arms around her shoulders, indulging them both in a rare form of physical contact. They both needed it. He pressed his cheek to her forehead. "I dreamed that, too. That's why I was awake when I heard you screaming." He let out a sigh of his own. "Just like when we truly were on the spaceship, when I was possessed, I could still feel, see and hear what was going on." He drew in a shaky breath. "In my dream… I attacked you, maybe even killed you." He tightened his grip around her. "I couldn't do anything to stop it from happening."
In his arms, Martha was shaking. Twisting his neck, the Doctor could see her eyes were wide and staring at the far wall. They were devoid of tears now, but there was something else there, something she hadn't spoken of yet. He returned his head to hers, tightening his grip. He had seen her face down aliens, humans, even him… and never show this amount of fear. Was it of him? Given, she had every right to be, after what had happened, both on the ship and in her dream. But was it something more, was it because he was male? He knew she didn't have a special someone back in her time. Never even mentioned ever having one. Had someone hurt her before? The Doctor could feel his teeth clenching as his mind, well-travelled as it was, even just in the human worlds, to know what could happen to a young woman. If someone had… he'd find them, and –
"I'm sorry, Doctor."
Broken from his train of thoughts, the Doctor tried to remember if she'd said anything before that he might've missed. "Sorry? Sorry for what? Your nightmare?"
She took a deep breath. "Yeah. Just… I really, really hate fire."
That brought him up short. "Fire? What's so bad about fire? Sure it destroys everything it touches, but it also brings life."
"When I was little, six years old, my mother lit some candles, and then left the room. My brother got curious about them, how she'd been able to light them. Then he found the lighter. He started running around with it, clicking it on and off. He ran by the drapes I was hiding behind, and they caught fire. I had burns on my skull, neck, arm and back. It took years and loads of surgeries to reverse the damage. I've hated and feared fire ever since." She sighed. "And then that sun… and you…"
The Doctor tightened his arms around her, slipping her head against his shoulder. He closed his eyes tightly. "Oh, Martha I'm so sorry. If I'd known, I'd never have brought you there."
Martha shrugged. "You didn't know, Doctor. It's ok. I should be over it by now anyways."
"Nah! Not necessarily. Fears sometimes stay with us for a very long time, sometimes forever. As long as you don't let that fear have constant control over you, let it manage your life, let it control you, that's what's important."
"What do you fear, Doctor?" The words left her mouth before she could stop them. Horrified, Martha added, "Sorry, Doctor. That wasn't polite of me to ask." She tried to sit up, but the Doctor still held her.
"It's alright, Martha." He said softly. "Everyone has a fear, even a Timelord like myself." He stopped for a moment. In the distance, he could hear the TARDIS engines, their steady beats a comforting sound that was always there. But what was in his arms, safe and alive, was fleeting, and no matter how hard he clung, his Companions always moved on, for one reason or another.
Always.
They each meant something different to him, each brought their own spunk to their adventures. They all mattered dearly to him, and gave him what he desperately craved.
Companionship. Relief from travelling alone.
Alone.