We're all just sitting around, doing nothing in particular. We have decided to wait a few days and see if there are any signs of us being hunted down. We do have a plan, we aren't sitting around helpless. But, I do feel helpless. Emmett, for some reason unknown has been avoiding me.
His absence and quiet behavior is unusual. He's not the Emmett I fell in love with back in my apartment. He hasn't cracked one joke and when he walked in on me singing and playing the guitar yesterday he remained silent and just listened. That isn't normal either. Before he has clapped or complimented my playing. Or, like the first time he walked in on me in my apartment, he kisses me. But he hasn't kissed me. He didn't kiss me at all yesterday. The last time he did kiss me was when I was going to bed the night before last.
I'm scared that he feels as though this situation we are in is my fault. I'm afraid that when this is over he won't love me anymore. I'm beginning to think that when we finally leave The Red Castle I'll never see him again.
I lie down on my bed and stare at the ceiling. I remember putting posters of hot men on the ceiling and hoping they might fall on top of me. That was when I was a hormonal teenager. I'm actually a virgin; nobody seems to believe it so I let them think I'm not. I've come close to having sex, but I never actually have.
It's because I've never actually loved anybody. I want to lose my virginity to a person I love and want to spend my life with, not a stranger I meet in a bar, or even a boyfriend I kind of like.
So here's my problem. I am in love now and I have found somebody I want to lose my virginity to. But what if his recent behavior means he no longer loves me back. He said he did; was he lying? I hear my text message alert go off on my phone… 'ROSE! U GOT A TEXT! OMG READ IT! READ IT NOW!' I laugh, Alice and Bella had recorded that for me and I absolutely love it. Bella and I did the same thing for Alice and Alice and I did it for Bella.
I roll over and grab my phone of the nightstand. The text is from Emmett. I bite my lip and open the phone: Rosalie, I love you, so much. And I want you to meet me in the library in half an hour. ~Emmett~ I wonder if he knew I have been doubting his feelings for me. I wonder if he only put that he loved me, but didn't actually mean it. I love at my clock, its 6:30. I sigh; I have thirty minutes to go.
I grab my journal. Music is poetry; therefore, I almost always will turn a poem I write into a song. So now, I begin writing a poem/song just to pass the time…
Never have I wanted you more
Always have I wanted you
But now I find myself doubting you
Can I bring myself
To trust myself
I want to fall
Fall into your arms
And stay for all day
But, oh, oh, I'm sitting here
Just waiting
While my heart is screaming
It's tarring into pieces
And you aren't here to comfort me
So I'm just waiting
Don't try to tell me what to do
I don't want to waste my time on you
If all you're gonna do is fade away
Into the distance, away and away and away
But I will always be waiting, waiting
Because what I feel is real
But, oh, oh, I'm sitting here
Just waiting
While my heart is screaming
It's tarring into pieces
And you're aren't here to comfort me
So I'm just waiting, waiting.
Absolutely not the best poem I have written; But it passed the time and now I have vented my feelings properly. I stand up and notice I'm in sweat pants and a tank top. I change into skinny jeans and a flowing blouse. My hair was perfectly fine the way it was so I left my room and went to the library. What I hadn't been prepared for was to be jumped on by Alice and blindfolded by someone. From the size of the hands and the ring on the left hand I know it was Bella.
"I'm going to kill the two of you," I tell them, they just laugh, "seriously guys, I have to go to the library, and I have no time for games."
"We know," Bella says and they pull me in the direction I was going anyways. I roll my eyes, even though they can't see. However, I must be predictable because Alice says, "Don't roll your eyes, Rosie." They both laugh and continue to drag me into the library.
I hear the library doors open and then shut. I am still blind folded but I hear someone behind me. The blind fold is pulled off and I see roses everywhere. I turn around and Emmett is standing behind me, grinning. He pulls me in and kisses me along me neck. I am surprised, yet completely relieved, maybe he does love me.
We walk into the room, until we are completely surrounded by the flowers. We stand there for a while and I admire the roses. Emmett then says, "Lovely."
"They are," I say, walking to one, and smelling it.
"Well, yes I suppose they are, but I was talking about you," Emmett says, I think he blushes, and there is a shy smile on his face. It must be contagious because I'm smiling as well now.
Emmett walks over to one of the flowers. It's when I realize it is the only red one. Until now I hadn't noticed but all the others are white and pink. He picks it up and walks over to me and says, "You know the red ones mean love, right?"
"What do the other colors mean?" I did know they meant things.
"I don't know actually. Alice just told me I should use white and pink because they match red the best."
"Ah." I nod my head, so Alice.
"Anyway, this one is for you." He hands me the flower and I look at it. The other roses are beautiful but this one outshines them. That is when I realize that it really is shining. I examine it and in the center is a ring. It is a diamond ring, one that I recognize as being my mother's. My eyes widen and I look up. Emmett isn't smiling anymore, he is on one knee. I try not to begin to hyperventilate.
"You know I love you, don't you?" he asks… do I? I just nod, my voice is hiding.
"Then, knowing that, will you marry me, Rosalie?" I stare down at him and a tear rolls down my cheek. The ring is still in the palm of my hand. I look at it, then at Emmett. He does love me, why had I doubted it?
"Yes," I say, "Yes I will, Emmett." He stands and takes the ring out of my hand, putting it on the ring finger of my left hand. He pulls me in and we kiss, standing among the roses.
I actually wrote that song, up above. It's kind of bad, but I wanted it to convey Rosalie's unhappiness and confusion, I hope that it did. So, wasn't that chapter sweet? Now that I have gotten that out of the way, the conflict will really kick in, so look forward to it. Heehee, please review and, of course, feel free to read any of my other stories. =)