Title: Blue October, Volume One – Chapter Eight.

Author: Woodland Goddess.

Rated: M

Author's Notes: And so Severus' journey continues on from that fateful day.

Chapter Eight: Testing Waters

A week and a half after his abysmal approach of Lily Evans, Severus found himself sitting at the desk in the backroom of the Pharmacy again, hunched over his notebook and geography textbook, his lifeless hair falling forward to cast shadows across his face. Mr Evans had set him a number of essays that morning, but it was approaching closing time and he had still not finished the first on the list. His concentration had been lacking these past few days and his mentor had noticed.

Piling essay after essay on to Severus' workload had been Mr Evans' way of encouraging him to get his head focused. If he ploughed through the essays Mr Evans had set him, the workload would then ease up and he could relax. The method, however, was not working. Not only was he incapable of thinking of anything but his botched attempt at forging a friendship, the stress of having to get so much work done in so little time had tensed all of his muscles and made him irritable.

Severus and stress were not friends. In fact, he could not even be generous enough to say they were grudging allies. Stress was his enemy as far as he was concerned. It was all well and good if one found ways to relieve stress, but the one thing that would calm him down was back at Spinner's End, waiting for when he had some free time. With five minutes left until closing time, his pencil snapped in his hand. A growl of anger forced its way passed his tightening throat and he flung the broken pieces across the room in a fit of frustration.

He picked up his notebook and started to try to rip it apart, but his anger quickly left him as his hit of adrenaline waned. He dropped his notebook back on the desk and his head followed after it. The faint blue lines underscoring his half-arsed attempt at an essay multiplied and blurred as his eyes came too close to the paper beneath his head. His grip tightened around the notebook and he squeezed his eyes shut as he heard the tell-tale sound of Mr Evans' shoes approaching the door.

The door opened and Mr Evans poked his blonde head around the door – Severus could not see this, of course, but it was what the man usually did when he opened the door before closing time. The Pharmacist sighed and slipped into the backroom, shutting the door gently. "Alright; out with it." Severus shifted his head and peered up at Mr Evans through the parting in his hair. The blonde man was standing not too far away, arms folded across his chest, a concerned expression on his handsome face. "What's gotten your head in such a muddle?"

Lily and Tuney must have kept their silence on the incident at the playground. "I met your daughters in the playground not too long ago," Severus admitted quietly, lifting his head from the desk. There were traces of ink smudged into his cheek, but he was blissfully aware of this fact for now. "I'd usually go to the playground whenever you let me leave here at the end of the day, in the hopes that I'd come across Lily because I...she seemed like the kind of person I could talk to. I don't have any friends..." Severus cringed at that and fell silent.

Mr Evans crossed the room and pulled up a chair, sitting down heavily as he rested his arms on the desk. "Go on," the man encouraged.

"I saw Lily use her powers and I knew for certain that I could talk to her because I have powers, too," Severus said, rubbing his left arm self-consciously. Severus knew that if anyone heard him talk like this with a Muggle, he could get into serious trouble. However, he would be able to argue the fact that Lily was a witch and that Mr Evans had been exposed to the Wizarding World since her Magic first started manifesting itself, thus making Severus' breach of the Statute of Secrecy void.

Emboldened by this knowledge, Severus continued. "I told her that she was a Witch, but that it was alright because my mum's one and I'm a Wizard. Tuney got in a snit over what happened two years ago, when I got angry with her and the bottle of medicine hit her in the face. She insulted me and I insulted her back and the pair of them left in an angry huff – even though they insulted me first – and now I can't think about anything else because I handled the situation so terribly!"

Even thinking about the incident sent Severus into fits of frustration and misery. He buried his face in his hands and let out a sound that seemed to be half a growl and half a cry. The situation was only made worse when Mr Evans started laughing at his plight. It was not the awkward laugh of a man trying to come to terms with uncomfortable news, but was hearty, rolling laugh that came right up from the bottom of his torso. Severus did not know whether he wanted to get up and yell or curl up and cry in response to Mr Evans' laughter.

Severus looked up at him, feeling rather betrayed by the knowledge that Mr Evans was laughing at him. Several minutes trickled past and finally the blonde man got himself under control. "Severus, you have nothing to worry about. Lily is a nine year old girl; by now she'll either have forgiven you or forgotten about the incident entirely. When she's fifteen or sixteen years old...then you'll have to start worrying about whether she'll forgive you; girls can be fickle beasts at that age."

It took several moments for Severus to digest that information and when he did he could not contain the hopeful smile that spread across his pale face. "You really think so?" he asked, leaning towards the man. Every word he spoke was laced with muted hope and excitement. Mr Evans spent several minutes reassuring Severus that he really did believe it and then allowed him to leave for the day, saying that he could continue working on the essays over the course of the week, now that his worries had been put to rest.

Severus tidied up his things and then slipped out of the backroom, making a beeline for the door leading out of the Pharmacy. He was so intent on getting out before anyone saw him that he did not notice the girl with red hair, standing by the counter, an open book in her hand – but that girl had not noticed him immediately, either. With his hands in his pockets, he marched away from the pharmacy, away from the warmth of someone who treated him well, his dark eyes fixated on the path laid out before him. Now that he no longer had to worry about the incident in the playground, he found his head filled with tumbling thoughts of many different things that were too numerous to catalogue.

He was so lost in his thoughts; he did not hear his name being called, or the sound of fast-approaching footsteps. A hand touched his arm from behind and it shocked him so horribly he let out an undignified squeak and almost jumped out of his skin. Severus whirled around, only to have his breath taken away by the happy sparkle of emerald green eyes. Lily. She's here! She found me! These thoughts bounced around in his mind in rapid succession, followed by many more about how awful he must look, to her.

"I'm sorry," she said breathlessly, her expression contrite, though her cheeks were flushed from exertion. The heaving of chest was further evidence that she had been running after him. "I've wanted to talk to you for days, but I didn't know where to find you. I have no idea where Spinner's End is; there's a lot of places nestled on the river bank, you know! Petunia – my sister," she quickly added at his look of confusion, "said I'd find you at the Pharmacy, working in the backroom. I didn't want to disturb you, so I read my book while I was waiting for you."

The green-eyed girl held up her book with a smile. It was a copy of The Fellowship of the Ring, by JRR Tolkien. "I got so caught up in it that I didn't see you leave." Lily let out an embarrassed laugh and hugged her book to her chest, now that she had calmed down somewhat. Severus stared at her, quite mystified by the knowledge that she had been waiting for him. "Anyway," she continued, "I've been thinking...and you were right. It all makes so much sense to me now. I was always able to do things that Petunia and my parents couldn't...and I'm always being warned not to do them in public, in case people happened to see."

Severus let out a sigh of relief. She was agreeing with him, that she was a Witch, that he must be a Wizard. The idea that Lily had finally come to terms with it almost left Severus in a state of euphoria, which he tried desperately to keep off his face. He did not want to seem too happy about it, but mild pleasure at the thought was acceptable to him. The pair of them stood there, in the street, awkwardly, for several moments. It seemed neither of them knew quite what to say now.

Severus dropped his gaze to the footpath, wondering if it would be rude if he just walked away, now that their conversation had finished. A few more moments passed and then Lily broke the silence, sounding uncomfortable and eager simultaneously, though how she managed it was beyond Severus' powers of comprehension. "So..." Severus looked up and watched her tuck a lock of her crimson hair behind her ear. "Do you want to go the playground with me? It's still bright out and it would be a shame to waste the sunshine while we have it."

"Alright," Severus said slowly, unable to stop his heart from racing when Lily smiled at him. "I can't promise I'll be much fun to be around. I've never spent time with anyone my own age before." Severus clammed up then, embarrassed, when she gave him a brief strange look, and set off towards the playground. The red-haired girl followed after him, quickly falling into step beside him. While they walked together, Lily asked him several questions, about his favourite colour and his favourite foods and other such trivial things.

A number of her questions left him blushing and stammering in embarrassment. It was because, unlike other children, he really did not get the opportunity to experience the different kinds of food available, nor programmes on the television. The only question he did not really have a problem answering was the one about books. He had a read a lot of books and remembered them in great detail. Books had become Severus' closest friends over the last two years and he really did not mind it.

He asked her some questions in return, though they were fairly generic. He knew almost nothing about things other children his age had enjoyed and thus found himself falling short of decent questions to stimulate conversation between them. He had no doubt that, over time, he would learn more about the world and their conversations would have more of an even footing, in the future. That depended on whether Lily enjoyed his company enough to keep meeting up with him. Severus vowed to try his best – it was all that he had to offer, really – and if that was not good enough, then so be it.

When they reached the playground, Lily led him through the kissing gates and over to the swing set. At first, Severus was uncomfortable there, due to how much of a catastrophe their last encounter there had been, but her gentle encouragement helped him to relax. Lily placed her book on the ground by one of the poles and they took a swing each, facing opposite directions. They pushed away from the ground, starting a nice, easy swing, working their way towards a faster pace.

While he swung, Severus could help but admire the way Lily seemed so comfortable, even in a stranger's presence. He felt a pang of jealousy in the pit of his stomach. He had no doubts about her future; she would make swift friends when she attended Hogwarts. She would be cherished by many people, not only by teachers who would be won over by her simple charm, but students as well...and he would become an embarrassing thorn in her side, if they became fast friends. Severus tore his gaze away from her, closing his eyes, focusing on the motion of the swing beneath him as he pushed those depressing thoughts out of his mind.

The two of them spent some time on the swings, before moving over to a large stretch of grass. Severus laid down on the ground, resting his head on his arms. Lily laid down beside him, her book clutched in one hand and then continued to ask him questions, in an effort to get to know him a little better. Severus answered her questions as best as he could, but faltered when she asked what his parents were like. "They...argue a lot," Severus answered finally. It was not an outright lie...but it was not the full truth, either.

Eileen did argue with Severus' father...and Tobias always argued back, but usually started it...with his fists...and his boots...multiple times. Lily turned her head towards him and gave him a compassionate smile, reaching out for his hand. Her touch was warm and friendly, but sent goose bumps racing across his pale skin. "Don't worry, Severus; it'll get better," she said sincerely. "I know it will." She was wrong, of course, but he appreciated the sentiment nonetheless. Severus attempted to give her a smile in return, but it must have come across as more of a grimace, because she turned her face towards the sky once more and released his hand.

Suddenly, she laughed and pointed upwards. "Hey, that looks like a baby!"

Severus followed her finger, looking for something that vaguely resembled the shape of a baby, but seeing only clouds. "No, it doesn't. It looks like a cloud," he said, a hint of disappointment riding his words.

"No, look again." This time, Lily took hold of his hand and raised his arm, pointing with his own fingers. "Those are the arms and these are the legs and that, there, is the head. It's a baby – a chubby baby, sure, but definitely a baby. You just have a poor imagination at the moment. It's not a bad thing; they take time to nurture. I'll help you nurture yours and then you'll be able to see cloud shapes as well as I can. Won't that be fun?" she asked, smiling broadly at him, her emerald eyes sparkling prettily in the sunshine.

Severus did not think seeing pointless shapes in the clouds would be much fun at all, but he kept silent. He did not want to alienate her for what she enjoyed, now that they were finally on the road towards friendship. So far, he did not thinking making friends with her was so difficult. They were pretty speaking only of the things they enjoyed. He knew arguments might arise in the future, but at the moment everything was going swimmingly. She must have thought so, too, because she kept smiling at him in a way that made his stomach flutter uncomfortably.

Later, when the sun was beginning to set, the two of them conceded that they had to be heading home. Severus led Lily out of the playground, pausing when the girl tapped his shoulder. He turned to face her, wondering what she wanted to say now. "Do you want me to walk you home?" Lily asked, smiling cheerfully at him as she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

He frowned at her, his brows knitting together. "I should be the one asking you that," he pointed out, looking off to the side for a moment.

Lily laughed softly, regaining his attention. "You can, if you'd like. I could use the company; it's a boring walk home." The matter was settled when she said this and, even though he was certain spending time with him on the streets would give her a bad reputation by mere association to his riff-raff self, Severus accompanied Lily on her journey home. They babbled about books as they walked and the conversation left Severus feeling contented, in spite of the looks people gave him as they passed.

When they reached Lily's house, Severus flicked his gaze around the property, admiring it. The house had two storeys and was well-kept. The front door, brown in colour, had a gleaming brass knocker that looked like a lion's head. The windows were exceptionally clear and the grass was pristine. It looked like a pleasant house to live in; he envied that. He could see Petunia in the kitchen window, carrying a bundle of plates towards the dinner table. Severus turned towards the red-haired girl. "Well, here you are; I've walked you home. I should be going." He wanted to get away before Petunia realized he was out there.

Petunia would come out and screech at him and make a scene. It would ruin the pleasant turn of events that had happened that day. "Thanks for walking me home, Severus! I had a really good time with you today! I'll meet you at closing time, tomorrow!" Lily called out as he hastily walked away, head down, hands in his pockets. A smile was tugging at the corners of his mouth before he even realized it...

To Be Continued.

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