TITLE: Whatever's On Her Mind Chapter 2
PAIRINGS
Faberry (Quinn/Rachel)
RATING: Was T but ive changed it to M just cause I think I may make it a bit more mature now.
A/N: I've got a plan for this story but it's not set in stone so feel free to suggest ideas where this could go
I'm now taking suggestions for fanfics on here and tumblr; see my profile for details, and to submit
SYNOPSIS: What could have happened if Quinn just told Rachel the truth in the bridal shop, if she just confessed her long denied feelings? How will Rachel react? How will they come back from the revelation?
Rachel's POV
"Can I come in" I ask her but she looks unsure, I know she must be wary over what happened earlier today "Please?"
"Sure" she says ushering me in from the rain "Can I get you a towel?" she asks but before I have chance to response she is heading over to a closet in the hallway and pulling out a fresh towel for me. She walks back over and hands it to me, I take it and wrap it around my shoulders as I visually shudder and shake from the cold I feel.
I make a futile attempt at wiping my tears but I know she's already seen them. "What do you want?" she asks but I can't make out her tone, I don't know if she's embarrassed, angry, scared or just upset.
"Did you mean it? Like really?" I tried phoning her earlier but she wouldn't pick up, I don't blame her but her confession made me think. True I don't know how I really feel about her in that way. I've never thought about it before but I know I like Quinn as a friend, I need time to figure out if it could ever be anything more than that. I would like to take the time but I'm so confused by all this, I love Finn, don't I?
"Yes I meant it Rachel" she's certain with her answer, no pause or hesitance she looks down at her feet, desperately avoiding my eyes, its hurts me a little that she feels she can't look at me at present but I know it must hurt, I felt the same way when she was with Finn and I had to watch them act the way we now do. It's seeing her like this that proves to me she and her feelings are genuine
"How long?" Quinn now looks at me like she needs more of a question than two words so I expand "How long have you felt this way?" her eyes dart away once more
"I'm not sure exactly how long, but a while I guess, though I only recently realized what it was that I actually felt, I tried so hard to just push my feeling away but I guess that didn't work, it just made them stronger" she walks into the living room and sits on the couch, I follow her but don't sit down I don't want to ruin her couch with my wet clothes "Then when you told me about Finn proposing, something broke inside of me, I couldn't work it out at first but it didn't take me long to realize I was in love with you" listening to her say those words makes my heart skip a beat, I'm not sure if hearing Finn say them has ever truly done that to me.
"Are you gay?" I'm not sure if I should be asking this but I did anyway, it wouldn't matter, she knows it doesn't matter, but I don't want to make her uncomfortable and I'm about to tell her she doesn't have to answer when she says...
"I don't know, I don't like all girls but I don't really like boys either" she looks at me and I can see how confused she is over her sexuality I don't want to push her if she's not ready but she goes on, into a deeper confession "I've never loved anyone else, maybe my loves only meant for one person" I see her jaw clench as she speaks, she's trying hard not to cry I can tell, cause I myself have done it several times today "But it doesn't matter, I know nothing will happen. Your with Finn, your destined to be together, I'm sorry but I don't know if I can sit there when you marry him, pledging the rest of your life to him in front of everyone, all our friends, I hope you understand if I don't turn up"
My own jaw is now clenching again as I recall an earlier memory, one I must confess myself "Well you might not have to worry about that, not yet anyway"
She looks up at me in even more confusion "What are you talking about, you're not marrying him?" she questions.
"I don't know, I want to, but I don't want to, you were right in the bridal shop when you said about being too young, but I do love him, I just need more time to figure all this out, I've been thinking so much and it's just all too overwhelming right now, so I told him I wanted to wait just a little longer, were delaying the wedding" Quinn didn't move she didn't react at all, I had no idea what she was now thinking. "That's if he'll still take me"
Flashback- 7 hours earlier
Rachel was sat on her bed, tissues in hand, crying into them, Quinn's confession had given her lot to think about. She'd always been so sure with who she was, she'd always thought she loved boys and especially Finn, Finn was to be her husband. She was going to spend every living day with him, least that was the plan, a plan thrown completely off track with her current feelings. Her chest hurt from the way she felt. Her heart ached but she didn't really know why. She'd never looked at girls in that way, she's only ever seen Quinn as an enemy then more recently a friend, a friend she really didn't want to lose after today's events. She didn't have many friends and she couldn't really afford to just let one go. But what if Quinn was more than a friend to her. She did find the girls extremely beautiful, she'd even told her so, she could picture herself growing old with Finn, having a family, a home, a life, but she could also picture that with Quinn, it didn't change the way she'd end up.
"Hey why are you crying?" Finn's voice came from her door as he crept into her room, walking up to the bed and sitting down, wrapping his big arms around the small girl and pulling her closer "What's wrong Rach?" his voice caring and his touch comforting, that's what she liked about him, he was always there for her in her hour of need. He always made her feel loved always put her before himself. But Quinn did all that too and they weren't even dating, in fact Quinn may have even cared for her more when she was like this than Finn did.
"I need to talk to you" Rachel's voice fell small in her room as she pulled away from the bear like embrace, Finns face was quickly panicked.
"Are we braking up?" he asked, disappointment looming in his tone
"No, no that's not what this is about" Rachel assured wiping at her tears with a fresh tissue and putting her current one in the pile of used ones. She took a deep breath to prepare herself, what she was about to tell Finn would definitely hurt him as well as her, but she had to do it before it was too late to hold off. She looked into his eyes and took his hands. "Finn I love you"
"I love you too" he interrupted smiling with that goofy grin he usually sported
Rachel nodded and smiled back before continuing "I know and I know we want to so desperately get married, but I want us to wait, like I want us to delay it for a little longer"
"Why, is there a problem, did you not find a dress or something?" he asked curiously
Rachel shook her head "No I found one, a beautiful one in fact, Quinn said I …." Rachel stooped at the thought off Quinn telling her she was perfect. Rachel wondered for a brief moment if Quinn meant perfect overall or perfect in the dress, it didn't matter, how she could not have figured this out sooner, she was so blind to the way Quinn felt, so blind to whatever was on her mind. So blind to whatever was on her own mind. She was meant to be a friend to the blond but she was so busy with her wedding planning and boyfriend she practically didn't take notice of how Quinn was truly feeling. She told her not to marry Finn in the bathroom that day at school, she told her to let go, she told her she had plenty of time, then she sang that song, the song she clearly aimed to Rachel, and Rachel knew it but she just didn't want to admit it at the time, but now she was, it was obvious how Quinn felt. "She said I looked perfect in the dress, the dress isn't the problem"
"So I'm the problem" Finn asked trying to figure out why Rachel wanted to postpone the day that was meant to be the happiest day of their lives
"No course not, there's nothing wrong with you Finn, I just want more time, I need more time, to be sure"
"You're not sure about us?" offended he pulled his hands away from his girlfriends and furrowed his brow at her
"It's not like that Finn, I just…were so young still and we have plenty of time to get married, I just don't want to miss out on anything" Rachel could see Finn was angry, but she knew deep down he understood even if he wasn't the brightest.
"Right, so how long for?"
"I don't know a couple more months maybe" Rachel shrugged unsure of how much time she would truly need to sort her feelings out
"Fine you know what Rachel, take as much time as you need and when you've finally figured out what it is you want, you cone and find me, yeah?" he didn't give her chance to respond before he stood up and abruptly stormed out of the brunettes room, leaving her to shed even more tears for the next several hours. Had she done the right thing? What if she did truly only want Finn and he didn't take her back when she was ready to admit that? She spent the rest of the night crying and trying to call Quinn till she finally gave up and headed over to her house, hoping her dads wouldn't notice she was missing.
End of flashback- 7 hours later
"So what does this even mean Rachel, why are you here?" she asked me, but I couldn't give her a straight answer cause I truly didn't know myself. My feelings were all over the place, I'd never felt so confused in my life.
"I don't know yet Quinn I need time to figure all this out, it's not easy for me" I stressed
"What and it's a cakewalk for me? Rachel I told you I love you and now your delaying your wedding to the guy you told me not 13 hours before that you were madly in love with and would do anything for, that's gotta mean something" she stood from the couch raising her voice slightly
"I don't have an answers yet Quinn I don't know what I want, I thought I did love Finn, I do love Finn" I corrected myself "But all this with you, it just made me think that's all, it doesn't mean anything yet, I need to work this all out before I lose both of you" I say sadly hoping she doesn't tell me I've already lost her
"Are you and Finn still together?"
"I don't know, maybe we're on a hiatus, he seemed pretty angry" I sadden remembering his face drop at my words earlier.
"So now what?" Quinn sits back down on her couch
"I guess we wait, when I know what my feelings mean, you will both be the first to know"
"Wait you didn't tell him did you? About me?" she seemed genuinely worried at the thought of Finn knowing about her confession
"No, he's doesn't know anything, I just told him that I wanted to wait cause we're still young" she gasped in relief "I didn't tell the girls either, they just think you weren't feeling well that's all"
"Thank you, I'm not ready for everyone to know, cause I don't even know myself yet, not for sure, If I'm, you know, gay or not" her voice was small and almost cracked saying the G word, she even looked around like she was making sure her mother wasn't around.
"Well looks like we both have feelings we need to figure out" I say trying hard to shed a little light on the situation.
She doesn't responds instead asks me if I want to stay the night as its raining "We have the guest room already set up"
"Thanks but I should get back or my dads will notice I'm gone in the morning, they don't know I'm here" it's funny I had never snuck out before and would have never of dreamed about sneaking out this late for anyone else.
I took off the towel and held it back to Quinn. "Take it with you, maybe it will keep you from getting soaked all over again"
"Thank you, ill returned it washed and pressed at school on Monday" I assure her hugging the towel for some form of comfort
"Rachel, how long did you postpone the wedding for?" She asked one last question
"A couple of months for now" I hope it shall be enough time for me to figure these feelings out but still I have no clue how long this stuff takes, Quinn took years to figure herself out, Santana too, Kurt another example. I hope I can have the time I need to take.
"I'll walk you out" Quinn gets up and leads me back to the front door ""Bye Rachel" she doesn't even look at me, but she is somewhat smiling. This is definitely hard for her.
"Bye Quinn, I'll see you at school" she doesn't speak again; she just gives with a sight nod, jaw clenching again, as she opens the door. I walk back out into the rain holding the towel above my head for some shelter, as I run back through the darkness towards my car, turning back to see Quinn has already shut the door.
A/N: let me know what you might like to see later for this story, i have some ideas of where it can go but if theres an scene you wanna see spacifically i may add it in.