Title: Blue October, Volume One – Chapter Twenty-One.

Author: Woodland Goddess.

Rated: M

Author's Note: I am suffering from a very painful Writer's Block; I am flogging my muse, in an attempt to get him back into shape. Thanks for reading/reviewing and for your endless patience, guys! Feel free to let me what you think of this (long awaited) chapter! ^_^

Chapter Twenty-One: Flowers and Heart-Shaped Boxes

Lily proved to be correct; Severus fell in love with Doctor Who, just the same as she and her father had. Every Saturday night, without fail, Severus found himself curled up on the living room floor of Lily's house. Lily would always be beside him and Mr Evans would sit on the couch behind them, his legs a pleasant warmth against their backs. Severus treasured these nights with the Evans'. He cherished the feeling of belonging and relished the chance to enjoy sweets with the pair of them.

His relationship with Mrs Evans and Petunia continued to deteriorate, but it could not be helped. There was nothing he could do that would encourage them to look at him more favourably, aside from coming into a sudden inheritance of money to bring his family out of the gutter rat category and himself into a worthy person category. It was as likely to happen as it was for Tobias to set aside the alcohol and become a real man and a real father. And that's as likely to happen as me becoming a Squib, Severus thought darkly, his head bent and his shoulders hunched over his book on botany.

It was the fourteenth of February and Severus was in a less than pleasant mood. The very idea of Valentine's Day irritated him ceaselessly. Every year, without fail, Tobias would come home with a flower and present it to Eileen and she would smile a special smile that Severus never witnessed on any other day of the year. His eyes narrowing in a hateful glare, Severus tried to focus on his studies. It was proving to be terribly difficult; thoughts of his mother and father kept intruding upon him.

Severus could not fathom why Tobias thought he could justify his behaviour or get away with it; simply because the man gave Eileen a pretty flower one day a year. One flower could never equal the apology, romance and good treatment that Severus' mother deserved with all of her being. Severus wished that Eileen would stop forgiving his father. The man did not deserve it; not after everything that he had put Severus and Eileen through these past six years. Severus' hand tightened around his pen, his knuckles whitening.

Valentine's Day was for fools, he decided. It was for those who thought that romance lurked behind every corner and that true love was waiting with open arms. The reality was more than anyone could imagine. Love did not happen the way that the world thought it did. There was no such thing as love at first sight. Love was not wonderful. It was not magical. Love was a painful, disease-ridden thing that assaulted you over and over. It was an asp, hidden in a basket filled with flowers.

It was an apple laced with poison.

Love had the power to make your heart race and your breath quicken. It had the power to elate you...and crush you. It had the power to bring people together and tear people apart. It had the power to fill you with happiness and with bitterness. It had the power to give you strength and to take that strength away. Love and hate were brothers in the truest sense of the word. They walked hand in hand, embraced and fought over who would become the victor in the walk of life.

Severus' lip curled in derision at the thought. He was fairly certain that he knew which he was not going to be an unfortunate victim of. He would never willingly put himself in the same trap that his mother had been snared in and a curse upon anyone who would try to force him into it. He shook his head, laughing bitterly in self-mockery; no one would ever try to force him to be a victim of love. He recognised the inherent flaws within himself with practiced ease. Even in the years to come, Severus knew he would win no awards for masculine beauty or charm – in the same way his own mother had never won any.

Eileen Prince had been beautiful, yes; in her own way. Conventionally, however, she had been as far from being beautiful as anyone could get. She got worse with age, quite unlike a fine wine. Petunia Evans was in the same boat as the pair of them, though she refused to see it. The knowledge of that did not prevent him from noticing the flare of jealousy within her, whenever she laid eyes upon her younger sister, however. As much as Petunia loved Lily, she would always be in her shadow and that fact would follow her for the rest of her life.

People might pass him over, due to his appearance and negligible social worth, but he was there, existing calmly in the background. He was always watching, always listening; he knew it would come in handy in the future. He was fairly certain that he would not gain many friends while at Hogwarts, but his skills at spying would help him keep attuned to the school grapevine. Severus was only ten now and his skills were still weak, but they would be cultivated as he grew older, wiser.

With a sigh Severus returned to his work. He read through a number of chapters before a pleasant distraction arrived in the form of Lily Evans. The girl virtually skipped into the room, her crimson hair bouncing with her motion. The door swung shut behind her, shutting the pair of them off from the world outside. Severus lifted his head to greet her and had to bite back the groan of despair that rose within him. Lily was armed with a bunch of flowers, freshly picked and covered in dew.

Coming further into the room, Lily reached, with one hand, into her satchel, withdrawing a vase. Severus was almost amused by her forethought. Lily set the vase down on the desk and slipped the flowers in. Severus had to jerk his books back, in order to prevent them from getting wet by the falling drops of dew. Lily's green eyes drifted closed and she hummed softly, her hands resting against the side of the vase. Intrigued, Severus eyed the interior, his eyes glittering as the vase filled with water.

He dragged his gaze back up to Lily's face, flashing a grin at her. Lily opened her eyes, a satisfied smile stretching across her mouth as she noted that her endeavours had been successful. "That spell isn't covered until Sixth Year, you know," Severus said, complimenting her. Lily beamed at him, recognising the comment for what it was. Severus focused his mind and Magic and, with a flick of his hand, the drops of dew vanished from the table. He set his books back down. "The flowers are...nice," he continued, trying not to grimace. "I fail to see why you brought them here, though."

Lily's smile faltered for a fraction of a moment, before it smoothed out again. Severus' eyebrows knitted together in a frown. "I...I...well...it's just...you know..." she stammered, turning her face away as she busied herself with rooting around in her book bag, though he could not fathom why. "It's just something I thought you'd like...to...to...to brighten up the room," she blurted, her cheeks flushing with colour. She muttered something then that he did not quite catch, before turning around, her hands curled at her sides, her back rigid.

"What?"

"I said," Lily ground out through a clenched jaw, "Happy Valentine's Day."

Severus wanted to disappear through the floor at her pronouncement. He rubbed his temple with two fingers; a headache was beginning to develop. "Are you suggesting," Severus began, his lip curling in a sneer behind her back, "that you would like for me to be your Valentine?"

Severus' schooled his expression into a mask of indifference as Lily whirled around, her hair whipping about her. She spluttered indignantly, her cheeks still glowing warmly with the strength of her blush. "No; you're my friend! Gross!" Severus was not certain whether he should be relieved or offended by the statement, so he remained silent. His input hardly seemed to matter, however, for Lily continued to speak after a brief pause during which she calmed herself down. "Valentine's Day is about love; it doesn't have to be about romantic love."

"Most people would disagree with you," Severus commented baldly.

"Most people are fools," the girl retorted, folding her arms across her chest defiantly. The corner of Severus' mouth quirked upwards into an amused smirk; he had to agree with her statement. Lily drummed her fingers upon her arm. "I don't want you to be my Valentine, but I...I do want you to know that I care. I thought you would have been intuitive enough to understand that." If she was disappointed that he had not been, she hid it well. Finally understanding the presence of the flowers, Severus pulled his gaze away from his friend.

He contemplated the vase of flowers before him. There were many flowers in the bundle, though the ones Severus favoured were the Lilium Martagon – or more commonly known as Turk's Cap Lilies. The flowers were pretty enough, though Severus believed gifting someone with flowers to be irrevocably stupid. They would, after all, die eventually. Nevertheless, he appreciated the gesture for what it was. A small smile graced his lips. He reached out and ran his fingertips along the petals of the nearest flower.

Pulling his hand back, he brought his fingers up to his face. The soft aroma of the flower clung to his fingertips. Severus' chest swelled with pleasant sentiment. He lifted his gaze back up to Lily, who was watching him like a hawk, as if his opinion on the flowers was immensely treasured. He bit back the urge to laugh, knowing she would not appreciate his amusement in that moment. "Thank you," Severus offered gently, his smile broadening as he gazed at his friend. Lily's cheeks flushed with a darker blush, a pleased grin dancing across her face.

The pair of them fell into silence and Severus returned to his reading. Lily made herself comfortable and waited patiently for him to be finished with his work. Time seemed to trickle past as Severus worked and soon he felt he had been cooped up in the backroom for days on end. He glanced over at Lily. Her eyes were closed and she was bopping her head to some unknown rhythm, her lips moving as she muttered to herself. Shaking his head in amusement, Severus read on.

Finally, after much waiting, closing time arrived and Mr Evans let them both loose on the world. Lily slipped her hand around Severus' elbow and pulled him along beside her. "Come on; we're going to the Corner Shop," she said sweetly. Severus allowed her to drag him over to the establishment and stepped inside, somewhat reluctantly. The usual mountain of sweet things met him upon entering, though there was now a new edition of heart-shaped boxes, which were obviously filled with a selection of chocolates.

Lily skipped over to the boxes, picking one up. "We can share," she declared, before hurrying over to the counter. Lily handed a few pounds to the proprietor on the other side of the counter, who glanced at Severus and winked at Lily, causing her to blush. After purchasing the box of chocolates, Lily practically ran outside, hauling Severus after her. "Honestly!" she said indignantly as they marched away from the Corner Shop. "The way he was going on, you'd think we were about to get married! I'd rather marry the back end of a dog!"

The comment felt like a hard slap and a kick to the gut, but Severus did his best to hide that fact from his friend. Lily was clearly oblivious of the effects her offensive commentary might have on him, for she continued to rant for several minutes, positively talking his ear off. His heart having fallen through the ground into a dungeon as dark as the Black Hole of Calcutta, Severus only half-listened to Lily as they headed in the direction of the playground. When they reached their destination they settled down onto the grass.

Lily opened the box and flipped the paper coverings over, revealing the chocolaty goodness inside. Frowning thoughtfully, the girl eyed the chocolates before choosing one. She popped it into her mouth, a dreamy expression taking over her face as her eyes drifted closed, hiding those lovely green irises from view. A contented sound pushed its way passed her closed lips. She was so easily blissful that Severus felt a pang of jealousy flare within him. He was rarely blissful; it normally took monumental events, from his perspective, to elevate his spirit that much.

Almost subconsciously, Lily pushed the box of sweets towards Severus, encouraging him to take one. Severus did so, placing it delicately into his mouth, as if he were afraid to damage it prematurely. The result was instantaneous as the chocolate began to melt, releasing endorphins within his body that filled him with growing contentedness. It was not the blissfulness that Lily was experiencing, but for him it was wonderful, regardless. He savoured that one sweet for as long as possible, before selecting another.

Lily began an animated conversation with him as they steadily devoured the sweets. They chatted about varying subjects, including Doctor Who and the book Severus had been reading at the Pharmacy. Eventually, that year's Halloween was brought up, much to Severus' chagrin. "Mum said to come over tomorrow," Lily said, popping another chocolate into her mouth. "She needs to take your measurements for your Halloween costume."

Severus snorted in amusement and shook his head. "I'm sure your mother said no such thing; she hates me."

"She doesn't hate you! She just...doesn't like your circumstances..."

"Which isn't my fault." Severus pushed a lock of his hair behind his ear.

"No," Lily admitted, making a face that was hard to decipher, "but she doesn't really mean anything by it."

"You're deluded," Severus said, a sneer curling his lip.

"I prefer optimistic." Her chipper response was accompanied by a cheeky grin. Optimism is overrated, a small voice muttered in Severus' mind. Severus shook his head, amused by Lily's attitude regarding the matter. After some time, Lily spoke up again. "I should probably be getting home," she said, looking up at the sky, which held the first hints that night was approaching. A moment passed and she looked at Severus, green eyes sparkling. "If you like, we can practice Magic tomorrow, after Mum takes your measurements."

"How can she create a costume for me? I don't even know what to dress up as!"

"Well...you like Doctor Who, don't you? Go as one of the Doctors! Dad and I will help you choose, although I think the Second Doctor would probably suit you best." Severus' heart swelled with the knowledge that Lily was getting excited on his behalf. He had no idea what the Second Doctor looked like or what he wore, but he trusted Lily's judgment in that regard. "His hair would look adorable on you, Sev. It's like the Beatles' hair style – after getting kicked around a room for a bit!"

"I'll think about it," Severus said, decidedly noncommittal for the moment; he had no idea who the Beatles were, never mind what their hair looked like. He rose from the ground and offered Lily his hand. When the girl took it, smiling at him, he helped her up from the ground. She picked up the, now, empty box of chocolates and stuffed it into her satchel. Lily linked arms with him, just as she had done earlier, and they left the playground together. Walking arm in arm, Severus escorted her home. With his wand in his own satchel, he felt like a bodyguard of some sort.

"Thanks for walking me home." Tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear, Lily beamed at him. When Severus gave her a small smile in return, she threw her arms around him, hugging him warmly. Severus rested his hands lightly against her shoulder blades – he had never been very comfortable when returning her hugs, but she appreciated his efforts. "I'll see you tomorrow, Sev." With those final words, Lily turned her back on him and dashed up the driveway towards her house.

Severus watched her go, unsure why he felt a pang of sadness in his heart. Gripping the strap of his satchel tightly, he turned away from Lily's happy home. With his head bowed, his hair hanging down like curtains around his face, Severus made a swift retreat. His feet automatically followed the path home; it was etched into his subconscious, now, after so many nights of walking her home from the playground or the Pharmacy. The journey home was relatively quick and easy, though he had to rub pain out of his left arm at times as the evening chill grew heavier around him.

When he arrived home, he greeted his mother and settled at the table for dinner. Tobias had arrived home only a few moments before he did. After an awkwardly silent and meagre dinner, Severus took care of the dishes without being asked. As soon as he could, he disappeared upstairs, changed into his pyjamas and climbed into bed. In silence, Severus opened his Defence Against the Dark Arts textbook and began reading it for the sixth time since his mother had gifted it to him for his birthday.

With each reading Severus memorised more and more of the contents. He knew that it would stand to him when he entered Hogwarts next year; he would swiftly become the top student in the subject. He would try his hardest to do the same in his other subjects, particularly Potions, Transfiguration and Charms. He would become a Wizard that his mother would be proud of...

To Be Continued

Aw, Sev, you're so awkward ^_^