Thank you to all my lovely reviewers: brionyjae, Madame Cyanure, NikkieSheepie, gernumblies, milady dragon, thedeejay, biancaruth, cjh4ever, L.A.H.H., Marian Locksley and Allons-y allonso! I think almost all of you mentioned the last line in your wonderful reviews – Honestly, what's funny about Torchwood operatives being turned into rats?

Can We Keep It?

"What?"

Ianto was pleased, and then quickly embarrassed, to hear Gwen's voice amongst the several surprised responses. A few seconds later he heard her voice again just behind him.

"What are you talking about? Oh!"

The rat-that-wasn't-Gwen had seized the opportunity to escape caused by her disruption and jumped onto the floor. There was a surprised squeak from more than one mouth as it met Tosh in the doorway and ricocheted back into the room. Ianto quickly closed the door. "Where's it gone?"

"She's down here, aren't you sweetheart?" Gwen was kneeling down to examine the rat that was trembling in the corner.

"She?" asked Ianto bluntly, refusing to comment on Gwen's need to try and help everything that breathed, even if it had just eaten it's way through the whole of Torchwood's biscuit supply.

"It was you who first assumed it was a girl." Tosh pointed out coolly.

Gwen was still cooing over the rat. "Ssh, it's all right, we didn't mean to scare you." She was already reaching out tentatively to try and stroke it.

Behind her Ianto sighed loudly and picked up the empty tin, preparing to scoop their little intruder up in it.

The door opened suddenly, and amid loud protests Jack and Owen entered the room. "What's going on?" Jack demanded.

"Rats." Ianto said clearly.

"Rats?" Jack repeated worriedly, followed just a second too late by Owen.

"One rat, to be precise." Ianto continued. "But not a common rat. In fact, I remember buying this rat, and twelve others, from the pet shop last week. I remember because the shop-keeper looked at me like I was crazy and asked me what I'd done with the ten I'd bought the week before." Ianto was looking directly at Owen now.

"Um, yeah, well maybe I lost one or two…"

"You lost one or two?"

"Alright, six."

"SIX?"

Uh oh. Thought Owen, as everyone drew breath again, presumably to shout at him some more. That probably wasn't the best thing I could have said.

"You let six rats loose in the Hub and you didn't tell me?"

"I didn't mean to! And shouldn't we be trying to catch this one, anyway?" Owen crossed his fingers behind his back, hoping Jack would pause in his tirade. The reminder worked.

"Where's it gone?" Jack demanded, in exactly the same tone he'd use if he hadn't seen which direction a particularly blood-thirsty alien had taken.

"She's in my pocket."

"What are you, the Pied Piper of Cardiff or something?" Owen sniffed, looking at the lump in Gwen's jacket. "How did you do that?"

"There were biscuits crumbs in there."

So maybe it wasn't just the rat pilfering after all…

"Follow me and I'll put it back in the cage." Perhaps if Owen sorted this one out Jack would forget about the other five…

"No!" Gwen sounded horrified at the very suggestion.

"Well it can't bloody well live in your pocket, can it?"

"You can't take her back! You can't experiment on her!"

"Why the hell can't I? You've never complained before!"

"But she's so sweet!"

Jack broke in on the argument. "Gwen, you are not keeping that rat. That is final. Not unless it goes home with you and stays there."

"Rhys will never let me have her in the house! Please Jack…"

"This isn't a pet's corner!"

"You let Ianto keep Myfanwy!"

"Myfanwy's not a pet, she's a … a mascot!"

Ianto was being strongly reminded of the time when he'd been at Rhiannon's house and David and Mica had brought up the 'why can't we have a dog?' argument again.

"There would be nothing wrong with having another, err, 'mascot', Jack." Tosh said placatingly. "A rat would hardly take up much room. And we do keep weevils in the cellars. One rat is hardly a threat."

Ianto nodded. "I'm fine with it, so long as it's Gwen that does all the looking after of it." He actually quite fancied the idea of having a rat, now he came to think about it.

"What would we call it…?" Tosh wondered aloud.

Jack looked around at them all and knew he was beaten. "Just keep it away from me."

He left, and the others exchanged glances. Was Jack Harkness, the immortal Captain Jack Harkness, really scared of rats?