Festive goodwill to all my reviewers: Marian Locksley, milady dragon, Chaos 'shade' Shadow, NikkieSheepie, cjh4ever, thedeejay, brionyjae and L.A.H.H. And Christmas cake too. We've got lots spare.

Only one of you guessed fully correctly, and many of you didn't guess at all. And one or two of you left hurtful comments about rats. You are all entitled to your own opinions, but I would like to point out that I do keep two pet lovely rats who would be deeply offended by some of the things being said here. And since my rats are helping me write this, you might want to rethink a little…

Communication Issues

Ianto came to in a corner he hadn't originally been lying in, wondering why the objects from beyond the Rift couldn't stick to the rules of this dimension. Stumbling to his feet he found Tosh and Jack with the same bemused looks on their faces.

Jack carefully approached Tosh's desk. The small silver box was sat on top of it, looking smug. In fact, it was practically smirking.

Jack went past it to where Owen was lying prostrate on top of the desk, the tip of one finger still touching the side of the box.

Tosh was kneeling down next to where Gwen was sprawled on the floor. "She's unconscious. Is Owen…?"

"Yes." Jack looked down at him again and then at the small rat which was crouched next to his head, apparently trembling. There was an angry squeak and another rat pulled itself out from underneath a pile of toppled papers.

Everyone had the same horrible idea at the same time. It was what Torchwood did to you.

"You don't think…?" Tosh trailed off.

Jack bent down so that his head was at a level with the rats, the closest he had ever got to them. "Gwen? Owen?"

The larger rat gave him what could only be described as a glare and stalked off to the other end of the table. Tosh wrapped her hands around the smaller one and held it protectively to her chest. It wriggled frantically and then stayed still, peering out at Jack from between Tosh's fingers and squeaking quietly to itself in a complaining tone.

"Great." Said Jack. "Just great."

It was hard to have a decent conference when two of you team-members were rats.

"Um…" Tosh looked over at where the rat that was generally agreed to be Owen was gnawing at the end of a pencil. Some things never changed. "I think the best thing to do for now is to see what happens to them, and whether or not they'll turn back. In the meantime I'll investigate the, um…"

"Furryfier?"

"The furryfier – thanks Ianto – and see if I can find out how it works."

Jack sighed. "Seems like the best plan for now. Ianto, you'll have to make sure that their actual bodies are looked after until we sort all this out."

"Yes sir. And what are we going to tell Rhys?"

"Um…" Gwen was gazing at him unblinkingly, half-hidden among Tosh's hair. "I'll sort that out when we get there. The truth, probably."

"I'll look after them at night for now, if you like." Tosh offered. "Apart from that we can just go on the way we did with the original rats. It's fine to do that, isn't it? I mean they are rats."

"It should be fine." Jack replied. "Are you sure you're alright looking after both of them?"

"Well, I can't see them taking to being kept in a cage. Particularly if they turn back halfway through the night."

"Wouldn't it be easier if Ianto took care of Owen?"

"I don't think he'd like it much, sir. He bit me when I tried to carry him in here."

"I don't think he likes being dependent on us." Tosh suggested. "Or maybe it's just the rat part taking over?"

"No. That rat bites more now it's Owen than it did before."

Jack smiled. "And I expect he's a bit grumpy because he's now a female rat. Not really the kind of thing Owen's ego takes very well."

Tosh reached out a hand to the creature in question and attempted to stroke him. Or her. Whichever. Owen moved, pointedly.

"How much of them is rat, do you think?" she asked.

"I don't know." Ianto replied honestly. "I mean, they don't seem to understand it when we speak to them but they still have the same sort of… character."

Tosh moved Gwen down off her shoulder. In contrast to Owen she happily accepted being stroked.

"It's weird thinking you're doing that to Gwen." Jack mused, watching.

Ianto smiled. "I'm not sure she'd stand it normally." He reached out a finger as well. "It's really rather demeaning."

Jack smirked. "I bet when we get her back she'll pretend she can't remember any of it at all. But right now she's making the most of it all."

Tosh perked up suddenly. "I've got an idea." she announced, and scurried away.

In a moment she was back, slightly out of breath and carrying her laptop. Getting the idea at once, Ianto unceremoniously dumped the nearest rodent on the keyboard.

Owen gave them a 'what the hell do you think you're doing?' look, and waddled off.

"Try Gwen." Jack ordered.

Ianto rolled his eyes. "You're going to have to get over the rat-phobia sometime, sir, especially now half your team have whiskers."

Gwen took slightly more interest in the keyboard. "ooinbbqqqg nhvhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhr dcv5666666565o"

Tosh peered at the screen. "This isn't working."

"Perhaps she's trying to deliberately confuse us." Jack suggested.

"Maybe it's just harder to type when you're a rat." Ianto countered.

"Well, what else are we meant to try? Sign language? How about we just accept that they're rats for now?"

Watching Owen chase Gwen round the table, Ianto couldn't help feeling that this might be the best approach.

This section was written with the help of a co-writer. I would therefore like to hereby show my gratitude to Minnie for volunteering to step onto the keyboard in order to dramatically increase the realism of this chapter. This is the first time she has published work and I would be very grateful if you would show your appreciation in the usual way.

For anyone who wants to know, "ooinbbqqqg... " is most probably rat-typing for "why the hell have I just been stuck on the keyboard?"