Title: Blue October, Volume One – Chapter Twenty-Eight.

Author: Woodland Goddess.

Rated: M

Author's Note: Thanks for your patience, guys. I hope you enjoyed the last chapter. In celebration of the wonderful news the fandom has received, have another chapter ^_^

Chapter Twenty-Eight: She's a Jolly Good Fellow

Time passed relatively slowly while Severus stayed at Hemmingway House, the protracted and strained silences weighing heavily on everyone's shoulders. It was with some relief that he found himself being shaken awake on the third day of his stay, Lily leaning over him with a smile that brightened her recently morose features. She pushed and shook at him vigorously. "Wake up, Sev," Lily ordered excitedly, "wake up! We're going to the zoo!" Tired as he was, he could not understand how that could possibly be a good thing.

Severus batted her hand away and turned over with a low groan, burying his face in his pillow. He mumbled something that sounded vaguely like: leave me alone, I'm tired. But the girl had clearly not heard a word...or was just determined to ignore him; that would not surprise him in the slightest. Lily grabbed the blanket and wrenched it away from him, tossing it on the floor. Issuing a frustrated noise, he levelled a glare at her, his face still half-hidden by the pillow. "I hate you," he groused through clenched teeth.

A scoffing noise was the immediate response. "No, you don't; don't lie." A cheeky grin danced across her mouth as Lily poked at him and pulled at him, huffing and puffing as she did so. Finally, to get her to stop pawing him, Severus caved and rose from bed, shooing her out of the room so that he could dress in privacy. Grumbling under his breath, he readied himself, combing his hair last, and slipped out the door, heading down to the bathroom to take care of his morning routine.

When he entered the dining room it was to find Lily and Petunia chatting excitedly as they ate breakfast, sharing grins that were equally as blinding. It was strange seeing Petunia in such a pleasant mood; her smile did not even dim upon his entrance. In fact, she tossed her hair back over her shoulder and waved at him, the action only slightly hesitant. Briefly he wondered if this was some bizarre dream he was trapped in. He pinched the back of his hand, hard. No, this was definitely not a dream – or a nightmare, as the case may have been.

Awkwardly, Severus waved back at her and Petunia turned back to her conversation with Lily. He took a seat at the table, noting the suspicious lack of adult supervision. The only adult in the room was Mr Hemmingway, leaning against one of the window frames, one hand wrapped around a steaming mug of Rooibos. The man's eyebrows were knitted together in a small frown, seeming to ponder life as he stared out onto Berkeley Square. Severus wondered if he had been informed yet; presumably not, though, since the man hardly seemed ready to weep at a moment's notice.

Reaching out, Severus retrieved several triangles of toast from the rack in the middle of the table, smothering them in butter and blackcurrant jam – these were luxuries he never got to indulge in at home; whenever Eileen managed to bring any of these items home, they had to be used sparingly and laced with charms designed to preserve them for longer. It was true that she could multiply the supply she had, but using too much Magic would only incite Tobias' wrath and that was something neither of them wanted. Taking a bite from the first slice, he savoured it as much as possible, a mild expression of bliss flickering across his face as he swallowed. "Why are we going to the zoo, exactly?"

Mr Hemmingway glanced over his shoulder at him, a soft smile gracing his mouth as Severus raised a questioning eyebrow. The man took a sip of his herbal tea, the strong flavour tempered with milk and a cube of sugar. "We're celebrating Petunia's twelfth birthday; I'm surprised Lily didn't tell you. Apparently, she tells you everything." A teasing sparkle leapt into the man's eyes as his gaze flicked from Severus to Lily, whose face flushed an incriminating scarlet. Severus glanced sideways at her, questioningly.

"It never came up," she explained.

"But you were able to tell me you named your legs John and Sherlock," Severus mocked, eyebrows descending into a scowl that was only half-serious.

Petunia snorted into her cereal and Mr Hemmingway chortled, sipping his Rooibos. Lily's hands curled into fists and her lips thinned. "That was different," she protested sharply. "I'll thank you not to make me sound like a right nutter!"

A wicked smirk pulled at Petunia's mouth; she glanced sideways at the girl. "He doesn't have to make you sound like anything; you do that all on your own." Lily's hand came down hard on her elder sister's arm. "Ow! You little bi –"

"Petunia!" Mr Hemmingway sharply scolded, turning from the window in one swift move. Bespectacled and balding, he still managed to look threatening. The blonde girl grimaced, but did not look the least bit repentant for the curse she had almost uttered. She rubbed her arm and threw a glare at Lily, who merely glared right back, her meaning clear: next time, I'll hit you with my crutches. "Lily, keep your hands to yourself or you'll have to stay here. Apologise." When Lily made no move to do so, Mr Hemmingway's gaze sharpened like a blade. "Now."

After a long moment of indignant muttering, Lily eventually offered an apology and Petunia reluctantly accepted it. Glares were still shared, but Mr Hemmingway seemed somewhat appeased. Turning back to peer pensively out the window, he let the children continue with breakfast. Severus watched him for a moment; the man really was as good a role model as he seemed – strict but fair, kind-hearted and warm like Mr Evans; it was no wonder Lily had turned into such a nice girl...mostly, that is – she did have her faults, after all.

Shaking his head, Severus focused on his toast, savouring every mouthful. Once he was finished his toast, he carefully lifted an omelette from the hot plate at the top of the table. Over breakfast, he chatted with Lily, distracting her from her glaring contest. Even Petunia partook of the conversation, hesitant and uncertain whether her input would be welcome. Severus made a small effort to converse with her and she gradually began to relax the longer the three of them spoke together.

When breakfast drew to a close, Mr Hemmingway ushered the three of them upstairs to brush their teeth and rinse their mouths out with mouthwash. Then they readied to leave – making sure to bring umbrellas, just in case. "How come Mum and Dad aren't coming?" asked Petunia as their uncle led the way to the nearest Underground station.

Mr Hemmingway glanced over his shoulder at them, lenses glinting in the light. "They went somewhere with your aunt before I woke this morning; they left a note asking that the day continue as planned without them – that you'd understand." Petunia's gaze dropped to the footpath at her feet and Mr Hemmingway frowned. Lily and Severus shared a glance and looked anywhere but at her uncle. Fortunately, the man did not press the matter; Severus could not imagine they would have been able to last had he put any amount of pressure on them.

Lily's uncle purchased the train tickets while the others waited in silence. No one spoke as they piled on to the train...or the next one. Eventually, their travels brought them to Camden, from which, they walked west towards the zoo. Mr Hemmingway believed walking was good for the soul and was encouraging them as they started to lag behind, mulish expressions on their faces. When they finally reached their destination Severus was ready to throw his arms up in the air in exasperation and flop down on the ground.

As if knowing what he was thinking, Lily laughed breathlessly and patted his arm consolingly. Her arms were trembling slightly from using her crutches for so long. He offered to let her lean on him, but the look she levelled at him, then, could have frozen molten rock. Raising his hands in a universal gesture of peace, Severus took a step away from her. Petunia let out a breathless chuckle, shaking her head. "Now, you see what I have to live with," she remarked, earning a swat from Lily – only half-playful in the execution of it.

By the time they entered the zoo grounds Lily was smiling once more, glancing sideways at him in her excitement. He managed to smile in return, though he could not fathom what was so wonderful about looking at captive animals. Shaking his head, Severus allowed Lily to lead him wherever she wanted to go. Petunia, a happy grin on her face, scarpered after them and Mr Hemmingway brought up the rear, blue eyes sharp and focused as he watched over them, careful not to lose sight of them. It was quite responsible of him.

Awful things could happen when adults lost focus. Severus had heard horror stories; of boys – or girls – vanishing without a trace; of vans with tinted windows; of men in trench coats; of men without them, wearing smiles that could charm the knickers off a nun. They could be anywhere...be anyone...and that thought, though he would never admit it aloud, scared him. Severus made sure to keep an extra eye on Lily and her sister, just as a precaution. Whenever they lingered too long at an exhibit, Severus would glance around nervously, almost expecting someone to try to snatch Lily away.

He was uncertain which unnerved him more – the fact that it could happen or the fact that he was getting mildly paranoid about it. His senses were hyperaware, taking note of smells and sounds, cataloguing them away as his eyes observed everything and everyone. Spine a rigid line, his fingers itching to reach for his wand – hidden in his deep pocket – Severus was far too serious and stressed to enjoy the experience of witnessing Lily's unbridled joy as she peered in at the lions. The beasts were either sprawled lazily across the ground, eyeing the observers with disdain and boredom and sadness, or they were prowling their grounds, shoulders slightly hunched.

They were amazing creatures, really. The only downside was that they were symbolic of Gryffindor and bravery had always seemed such a ridiculous trait, in his opinion. He viewed bravery and reckless stupidity as being synonymous with each other. What was the point in being brave if it would get one killed or seriously injured, after all? One of the lions eyed him; its nose crinkled as it bared its teeth at him in a silent snarl. Shooting a nervous glance at the animal, Severus took a hasty step closer to Lily, who was too busy cooing at a set of cubs that were frolicking around merrily. Petunia was at her other side, equally as delighted.

When they finally moved away from the lions Severus could not help but feel relieved; he hated the way the beast had looked at him. Lily's happiness did not abate in the slightest as they moved around the zoo. If anything, it increased in measure. Petunia was doubly happy; a rare sight, he had to admit. Normally she was standoffish, unwilling to engage in her emotions in the same way that Lily was. She even smiled at him, brightly and without reserve; it was mildly alarming. But he supposed it was better than having her glare at him for the entire day...for encroaching on her birthday celebrations.

The Reptile House was the last part of the zoo they visited. Severus enjoyed that section the most, while Petunia was unnerved by the unblinking stare of the serpents. A small, secret smile on his face, Severus stepped up to each and every enclosure that housed a serpent. The green snakes, with darker coloured patterns on them, were his favourites. He spoke to them quietly in English, his words hardly more than murmurs, telling them about his – hopefully – future House at Hogwarts and the symbol of it.

Lily was giving him strange looks, he knew, but he could not have cared less about that. If she was allowed go doe-eyed over some ferocious lions then Severus was well within his rights to murmur to snakes. Of course, talking to them did not mean he was pleased by their state of captivity. They, like every other animal, deserved to have their freedom...deserved to move about in the wild, in their natural habitats, to hunt and mate and live out their lives happily. There was no doubt in his mind that snakes had feelings, that they were as affected by their captivity as the other animals.

As Severus was.

Flinching back from that thought, he turned his face away from the enclosure of a large albino python. He made his way over to Mr Hemmingway, who was sipping coffee from a Styrofoam cup. The man glanced at him questioningly, but Severus shook his head, unwilling to talk about it. Standing together, the two of them kept a close eye on Lily and Petunia. The boy fidgeted with the sleeve of his green jumper, distracting himself from the dark thoughts that kept pushing down on his mind, trying to make him think of them, succumb to them, get lost in them.

He hated it, the way his mind thought it could get the better of him. That it could control him. His gaze hardened in a black glare as his lips thinned. It would not take him over; he would not allow it. Severus would regain control of himself, of his thoughts. He would train his mind to do his bidding, to be what he wished it to be and nothing more, nothing less. It would be a precision instrument filled with a catalogue of ingredients, an encyclopaedia of spells, a library of information and a sanctuary without sentiment.

Emotions were a weakness; Severus knew that like he knew he belonged in Slytherin. When Tobias gifted Eileen with a flower on Valentine's Day, the rush of pleasure in her heart was a weakness. When Tobias came home drunk and angry, burning with the need to vent, and Eileen looked upon him, that surge of quiet terror was an Achilles' heel, leaving her open to the sting of his words, the slap of his hand, unable to raise her wand against a man she still loved, in spite of everything.

Severus would make it so his mind was his one true escape. Nothing would penetrate it. Nothing would control it. It would be well and truly his, like nothing else in the world could ever be. In the future, nothing would be able to faze him; absolutely nothing. Standing at Mr Hemmingway's side, he made that promise to himself, deep down in that most secret part of him that no one saw...that no one would ever see.

Eventually, Petunia and Lily grew tired of the Reptile House and they ambled over to them. The former's stomach grumbled loudly, eliciting a flush of embarrassment. Chuckling, Mr Hemmingway said he would take them out for lunch. A soft expression settled on Severus' face as Lily gave up on using her crutches, carrying them with one arm and linking the other around his elbow. She hobbled along beside him, half-leaning into him as she nattered away happily, talking about anything and everything.

He needed only to nod and make noises of agreement as she spoke; that was fine with her. Normally, he was not one for conversation, unless it involved heavy discussions about books or Magic-related subjects. But those were taboo while in present company. While Petunia knew about Magic, Severus could never be certain of what Mr Hemmingway knew; so, it was best to play it safe for now. Petunia, though twelve years of age now, held Mr Hemmingway's hand in hers as she chatted with him, engaging him in conversation regarding his book – which he expounded about excitedly.

Lunch was a tidy affair, in a small and quiet restaurant that Mr Hemmingway was partial to. Severus liked it, though the food was surprisingly posh and left him feeling a bit uncomfortable – not to mention disappointed when the dessert turned out to be miniscule. Lily was as disappointed as he was, but Petunia seemed to be in her element; her face positively glowed with the strength of her happiness. He thought it was a nice look for her, though he would never admit to thinking so.

Severus and Petunia were like chalk and cheese; they simply did not get on well together – not without buffers, such as Lily and Mr Hemmingway, both of whom were determined to keep them active in the lunch-time conversation. All in all, it was not an altogether terrible experience. On the contrary, in fact; he enjoyed it. Afterwards, when ambling in the direction of Mayfair with the others, he came to the conclusion that these memories would join the ones he already cherished – the ones where he felt he belonged, ridiculous a notion as it was.

Boys like Severus did not belong. They existed, always on the outside, always looking in, searching for that warmth, that wholesome feeling that continuously evaded them, mocked them. Girls like Lily...like Petunia...men like Mr Hemmingway...they belonged. There was no way they could just simply exist in the same manner that Severus and his type did. That...saddened him...irritated him and he was at a loss for the reason why. It was not exactly something he had recently discovered; he had known it all along. But why was it bothering him now?

Severus wished he knew...

To Be Continued.

So, another chapter for you, though I do find myself wondering if this was a bit lacking on dialogue...

Feel free to let me know what you think.