Let me just say OMG! What an amazing episode! Holy crap. Loved it. But
well, I knew from the beginning that I was going a little bit angstier then the show with this fic.
You are all going to hate me.
Shawn rolled his eyes at the voice berating him through the phone, "Gus, you left ten minutes ago. I haven't gone to sleep," he promised taking a long slurp from his latest pineapple smoothie.
"Well one of us has to take this concussion watch seriously Shawn," Gus huffed indignantly as he drove to work; of all the days for his boss to schedule a meeting.
"Well, I'm awake. Don't worry. And I'll still be awake when you call again in 20 minutes," Shawn clicked the phone off and tossed it across the couch before his friend could protest.
Shawn ran a hand over his hair; since his shower it seemed to be doing significantly better. Not great, but he looked way less crazy scientist then he had in the wee hours of the morning following the fire. Baby steps to improvement. And the whole not sleeping thing had thus far proven efficient at preventing nightmares about Yin and Yang. He doubted that would prove a good long term solution but at the moment, Shawn just wanted to shoot some Zombie's on his X-box and forget about the future and the past.
A knock on the wall of the Psych office interrupted all of Shawn's meticulous short term planning.
"Jules?" Shawn frowned as he watched the Junior Detective cautiously enter the hazard zone that served as their office. Gus should probably clean soon Shawn noted.
Juliet bit her lip nervously as she entered. It had been silly to come down here. She'd known he was ok, she'd seen if for herself. And she'd told herself that all night long while she had lain in bed unable to sleep. She'd gone to bed reeling from the thought that he might not be a psychic, but it had been the thought that she might have lost him in that fire that had kept her up all night.
Shawn rose to his feet slowly, "What are you doing here? Don't you have work?" He froze, "Look, I don't think Gus and I are going to take another case right now. Millie Jordan's was just an exception and-"
"Shawn," Juliet cut him off, needing to keep him from rambling, "This isn't about work," she said quietly. 'Unless you want to make things easy and just tell me you aren't really psychic. But even that is probably more of a personal problem,' she thought with a frown as she watched Shawn's face pale.
"Oh," Shawn muttered, licking his lips. It looked like he was about to have the conversation with Juliet he had spent the last three weeks doing his best to avoid.
Shawn watched as Juliet took a deep breath; just like she had at the Classic Vu drive through he realized as his mind flashed to the image of her approaching him, wringing her hands to ask him out. He knew the fact that it was getting harder to breathe couldn't be blamed on his smoke inhalation.
"I wanted to talk about...what happened," Juliet paused, "Three weeks ago." At Declan's. Juliet felt her face contort slightly in guilt. She really had picked a horrible spot for their first kiss.
Shawn nodded slowly, his head down cast to avoid looking her in the eye and drew his lips together into a thin line. Shawn's heart flipped in his chest, hating what he knew he had to do. He closed his eyes briefly trying to push back the pain and the overwhelming guilt that hit him for even contemplating what he knew had to be done. Working, just being around Juliet throughout the case had quickly ripped through the walls he had spent three weeks hidden away building. Every time she looked at him, the slightest glint in her eye gave away how much she wanted to talk to him; how much their distance was killing her. And it was killing him too, but it was nothing compared to how he'd felt when he'd thought he would lose her to Yin's sick game. After one day with Juliet he had been ready to put aside his fears and take the chance with her he had wanted since she had asked him if he was one of those 'weirdo compulsives who come to the same restaurant, sat in the same chair, and ate the same food everyday'; just thinking about the moment still brought a hint of a smile to his face. He wanted this. Maybe more than he had ever wanted anything; except, of course, to keep her safe.
He finally raised his head to look her in the eyes, hoping his poker face was at its best, because it was time for Shawn Spencer to lie his ass off. What was one more lie on top of what he'd already told her? What was one final nail in his coffin if it meant Jules was too far away from him for her to be a target when Yin returned? It was nothing. In a weird way he owed her this; not the pain he was about to cause but the safety their distance would give her. That she deserved.
He opened his mouth and felt the painful words stick to his lips. It was what he had to do, he knew that. But God it hurt.
He tried again.
"Jules…this is…hard to say," he sighed and fisted his hands into his pockets. "What happened at…Declan's," Shawn's throat constricted again, "was just a big…mistake." Shawn finished quietly.
"A mistake?" Jules repeated tightly, her knuckles white as she gripped the rim of her bag. Was he trying to give her an out? She didn't want one. She shook her head slowly, "No, Shawn, I wasn't making a –"
"No, I made one Jules. I…" Shawn bit his lip, he hadn't wanted to go here, to this lie, to this place where it would give her reason to hate him. She started to speak again, to argue; "I'm not over Abigail," he blurted, cutting off everything she was about to say as the room fell silent.
"Oh," Juliet mumbled meekly. Her voice was flat and hushed. She nodded quietly, rocking back and forth on her heels as she took in Shawn's revelation.
"Jules, I am so sorry," Shawn whispered finally, hearing the hammer pound the nail into the coffin.
She shook her head slightly, "Shawn, it's…it's not your fault," she offered him a slight smile but it faltered, "We seem to be masters at bad timing," the whispered joke came out hollow.
Shawn nodded in agreement. If his words had been the truth, no, it wouldn't have been anyone's fault; but instead this was the second biggest lie he'd ever told, not the truth. Not the truth at all.
"But I refuse to be uncomfortable around you," Juliet said finally, her voice stronger and more confident than before as she echoed Shawn's words from their meeting on a Canadian bridge.
As she turned to leave Shawn blurted, "Where does that leave us?" He didn't understand her response at all. He'd expected hurt, maybe yelling; definitely anger.
Juliet paused and didn't turn back to face him. "It leaves us where we've always been Shawn. We're colleagues," Shawn frowned-she still wanted him around the department? "And friends," she added quietly, hesitantly turning around to face him. She stared at him intently, searching for something on his face Shawn hoped he wasn't giving her, "You know you can tell me if something's bothering you," she said seriously.
He gaped at the blonde enigma in front of him. Shawn Spencer liked to think he knew Juliet O'Hara fairly well but this reaction was more out of left field then when Val Kilmer got cast as Batman. He felt his mouth open but again no words came out.
"Yeah," he managed finally, "Yeah, I know." He nodded empathically.
"Good," the enigma responded, her smile still not meeting her hurt eyes. "Well um, I only stopped by on my way to work so…I'll see you later?"
Shawn nodded absently.
"Goodbye Shawn," Juliet nodded before turning swiftly and retreating from the office completely. Shawn collapsed back down to the couch and ran a hand over his chest. The lingering effects of his smoke inhalation were really starting to hit him; it was almost impossible to breathe. He struggled to let out a ragged sigh; he had really just given up any chance at a relationship with Juliet O'Hara.
Juliet's grip on her purse didn't let up as she walked across the parking lot to her car. Her nails dug deeply into her palms. That hadn't gone anything like she had expected, but since when had anything involving Shawn Spencer gone by the book? She bit her lip as she felt tears find their way to the corners of her eyes. "I'm not over Abigail." The words were ringing in her ears. She put a hand on the roof of her car and let out a long breathe. That's what he'd said.
And she had nearly believed him.
In fact, when she'd first heard the words, he had fooled her entirely. His tell wasn't during his lie but after. There was the quickest flash of pain in his eyes as he watched her reaction that told her something was wrong. The words had hit her so hard her mind had gone blank, and his earlier declaration to his best friend about needing her to be happy had been temporarily forgotten. If it didn't hurt so much she could have laughed; Shawn Spencer was truly the master at diversions. He was a scary good liar. Which made sense, given what she was pretty sure he did for a living.
She didn't know why he was lying to her-about Abigail at least; she understood why he would be hesitant to let her in and tell her about how he might be a fake. But his lie had come from more than a fear of being found out; it was something far more personal. Something far more important.
She sighed, inhaling deeply to try and regain some composure. If Shawn Spencer wanted to play that way then it was fine. She could keep secrets from him too. He didn't need to know that she had heard him confess his feelings to his best friend and he definitely didn't need to know that she suspected he was faking his livelihood somehow. Not yet at least. Not until she understood what any of it meant. If anything Shawn's lie only proved that he did care, and for now, that underlying truth would have to be enough.
That didn't stop his words from hurting though. And it certainly didn't stop her tears from hitting the steering wheel the second her car pulled out of sight from the Psych office either.
Soooo...yeah.
End of Act ONE.
I think that even though ACT TWO is sorta like a new 'episode' it will be continued under 'Like Father'. A lot of people already have that on alert so it just makes sense to continue it there, even though the episode description will not really be accurate lol.
So...here it is, your preview for ACT 2 (kinda sorta titled : It's Only a Dangerous Game Until Someone Gets Killed...Then its Murder)
When a bunch of disappearances begin to seem connected, and with Psych in danger of not paying rent, Shawn reluctantly accepts the case just as Juliet and Lassiter and half the SBPD is sent on a Detectives Retreat. With Juliet suspicious of Shawn's 'gift', it would probably be best if they didn't see each other. But crime has other plans. (And those plans involve Shules).
Review please! (Even if you hate me-well, especially if you hate me in a constructive not really flaming sorta way)