Coast to Coast with Daphne Blake Chapter 7: An early christmas special, a scooby doo fanfic

COAST TO COAST WITH DAPHNE BLAKE Christmas special

Today Daphne Blake is interviewing Santa Claus! So remember kids be good!
She, and Santa is sitting in front of a fire, eating fresh cookies with milk.
(We bribed him with them) The fat guy is so busy that we have to interview him early...

Santa: Ho ho ho hello!

Daphne: Hello Santa.

Fred: Hey, Daph, you wanna hear some Santa jokes?

Daphne: Urm Freddy...

WARNING EXTREMELY BAD CHRISTMAS JOKES!

Fred: Santa is so fat that the only thing stopping him from going to Weight Watchers is the doorway!

Santa: (frowns)

Fred: How would you fire Santa? Give him the sack...

Santa: (grits his teeth angrily)

Fred: Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

Daphne: Fred-

Fred: Why was Santa's little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem.

Daphne: (slaps fore head)

Santa: Thats it! No presents for you!

Fred: Santa?!

Santa: NEVER INSULT THE ELVES! (Face turns red with anger)

Fred: sorry...

Daphne: Anyway, Santa, how many letters do you get? Why don't you reply?

Santa: I get millions, I couldn't't reply to them all.

Daphne: Why do you advertise coke, Christmas has nothing to do with coke!

Santa: Well...

Fred: IS that beard real? It doesn't look real (reaches out to pull beard)

Santa: (holds his beard protectively)

Fred: How do you get down the chimney?

Santa: I use magic.

Fred and Daphne: Yeah, right.

Santa: (takes out red dust from his pocket)

Daphne: What's that?

Fred: It's fairy dust, he's gonna makes us fly like Peter Pan.

Santa: No. (blows dust in Fred's and Daphne's face)

Fred and Daphne blinked, Fred sneezed (his allergies)

Fred: What was that suppose to do?

Santa: You'll see...

Daphne: (looks at Fred nervously) Onto letters...

Daphne,
When did you figure out Fred was the one for you?
Miranda

Daphne: I'll say it once and I'll say it again I- I realized I lo- (covers her mouth, her voice is muffled)

Fred: Daphne?

Santa: (grins) you two can only tell the truth.

Fred: I figured out I'm completely and totally in love with Daphne. (Covers his mouth)

Fred looks nervously towards Daphne, but she's too busy shouting at the producers, and didn't hear Fred's confession (I know that sucks).
Fred and Santa Claus is fighting across the small cosy room, Fred is trying to pull his beard off.

Fred: I bet its old man Smithers!

Daphne: No, it's probably Velma. Only she can wear a suit that unfashionable, and big.

Velma: Hey! I'm not that fat, and my clothes aren't unfashionable! (Where did she come from?!)

Random person: Daphne, what are you getting Fred for Christmas? -Shifty eyes-

Daphne: I can't tell you that it would ruin the surprise- I've got him a brand new watch, and a mistletoe- you didn't hear that!

Random person: Oh yes I did! (Runs away)

Fred and Santa knock over the Camera.

Please enjoy this song, you can sing along if you like!

I heard a reindeer hoof,
then Santa dressed in red,
came crashing thro' the roof
and landed on my bed.
I thought it was a dream,
but quickly did I wake,
as soon as I heard Santa scream,
"I want a piece of cake!"

CHORUS
Oh, Santa Claus, Santa Claus,
you are much too fat;
I was sleeping peacefully
but now my bed is flat. Oh!
Santa Claus, Santa Claus,
how much do you weigh?
I'm glad I'm not a reindeer
that has to pull your sleigh!

He got up off the floor
and said, "How do you do?"
I said, "My back is sore,
my head is black and blue."
"So sorry!" he replied,
and then he asked my name.
He offered me a ride, I said,
"No, thank you just the same!"

I heard a "ho, ho, ho,"
the sleigh was in the sky.
but it was moving slow
and wasn't very high.
It wobbled in the air,
I hoped it wouldn't fall;
Said Santa, chewing cookies,
"Merry Christmas, one and all!"

Now back to the programme... (what programme?)

Velma is now attacking Santa,

Velma: Cruelty to animals! Making your poor raindeers pull you around the world on one night!

Fred is grinning happily with a white beard in his hand.

Fred: Told you it was fake.

Daphne: It wasn't.

Fred: ...Oh crap