A/N: I do not own or profit from Harry Potter. Still.

First of all, a very happy new year to all. Secondly, a big fat thank you to all the reviewers. And thirdly, a bigger, fatter I'M SORRY for not updating in so long. I know I probably have no readers anymore after that blip of abandonment, but...well. If anyone's still reading, here is...

Chapter 23: An Uphill Climb

"Weasley!" The tired-looking worker behind the desk, name unknown, looked up from his heap of work as Percy entered. No doubt he had no idea who Percy was, but only knew that he was a ginger in the Ministry building, and therefore most likely to go by the name of Weasley.

"Yes." Percy cut past his introduction. "I'm here to inquire about intermagical applicants."

The worker looked blank.

"I hope you're familiar with the term." Percy said impatiently.

"Er...yes. Yes, of course, entry to the Wizard World."

"Are you taking applications?" Percy asked.

"Well, we would need to ensure that they have good reason, and they won't be a threat to society, plus that they won't out us, especially after the war events and such, we don't need them running around telling Muggles..."

"Are you taking applications?" Percy interrupted, putting pressure behind his tone.

"Er...yes."

"Good." Percy laid down the file with Audrey's name neatly scripted at the top. "There you are."

The worker looked down at it, then sighed and looked back up at Percy. "But see, it's like this, Weasley-your name is Weasley, right?"

"Get on with it. I've things to do."

"Yes, yes." The worker waved his chubby hands. "Look now, Weasley, with things the way they are, and all the trials going in and out, all the public work projects and all the criminals and complaints we've got to deal with, we're just swamped. I haven't taken an application for entry in two years, and I doubt I'll get to this one soon." He pointed down at the neat brown folder. "We at the Department of International Magical Cooperation are very interested in muggles and their needs, but at the moment, we have muggles to find, muggles to obliviate, muggles to investigate; Do you know how many Muggles got wind of Death Eaters? The Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes is so swamped, we're taking half their work for them. The Obliviator office if going mad; We're still finding people who witnessed that hurricane back the other year..."

Percy glowered at him and cut off his stream of rambling. "Look, will you take the application or not?"

"I'll take it, but I won't be able to look at it for some time."

Percy knew what that meant. It would be filed away, put on a shelf, and forgotten. He couldn't blame the chubby, stupid worker; they did have greater things to think of. But he couldn't help his temper rising. "Very well, sir. Take it and see what you can do, when you can do it. Thank you for your time."

"Thank you for visiting the Department of International Mag-" Percy shut the door after himself before the paunchy desk worker could finish.

.

He closed the door after himself, wishing tonight was not his birthday. Audrey had insisted on doing something for him until he had had to tell her that he was going to his parent's home. She had fallen silent, then, understanding again the gulf between them. As awkward as it was, there was no denying that his life was something very different from hers, something...hidden. He knew she wondered about all the little differences, all the little 'quirks'. And there was the problem of apparition. She'd picked up on that several times, but hadn't said anything and was pretending it was all natural. But she studied things like these in her schooling, didn't she? She had to know better.

He dismissed the thoughts of her from his mind, insisting upon staying focused. Tonight was his birthday. A family dinner. He would need his head on tonight to deal with that.

He pushed out the door of his building and ducked out of sight, landing only a moment later on the familiar roadside. Turning, he straightened his glasses and his shirt and took in the sight of the Burrow.

There was the usual bustle when he pushed through the screen door, the familiar greetings. Charlie pounced on him and knuckled his head while Ginny threw her arms around him and gave him a kiss on the cheek, despite his never-ceasing requests that she not do so. She would leave lipstick on his face, and he resigned himself to it, again. "Hello, Ginny."

He was ushered into the kitchen to endure the hugs of the rest of the family. His father's embrace was still stiff; but then again, it always had been.

"Percy, happy birthday!" His mother enveloped him, and he hugged her back. "Mother."

"I remember when you were this tall." Bill chimed in obnoxiously, holding his hand a few centimetres off the floor. Percy glared at him as he and Charlie laughed. "Like when you were five and you wanted a new pair of glasses for your birthday."

"Because we'd already hidden all the old ones."

"Or the time we thought you were reading dirty books under the covers at night..."

"And it turned out to be an encyclopaedia."

"Or..."

"Anyways." Percy interrupted. "I'm hungry."

"Good, because I've made a special dinner." His mother said, moving away. Of course they all knew a 'special dinner' really didn't mean anything; Molly Weasley made a 'special dinner' nearly every other night, with all the family and company moving in and out of the Burrow.

Granger and Potter were there, and so was the Lovegood girl, wearing some sort of odd horns in her hair. Potter seemed to have rekindled whatever he'd had with Ginny before; at least, he couldn't keep his paws off of her, so that was what might be presumed was happening. Percy fought the urge to cringe openly as he shot a glance Ginny's way. She caught his look and smirked flirtatiously back.

Dinner with the family for once was a relief rather than a performance. The rest of the family was at ease, and Percy could slowly feel the tension sliding off his shoulders as the evening went on. He blended away into the crowd here. No matter that it was his birthday; the hubbub did not ease for anyone, and he liked it that way. Had this night been different from any other night, it would not have felt like home.

Percy agreed to a game of chess with Bill after dinner. His brother seemed preoccupied, and he won the game easily. Over the time spent staring at the pieces shifting in their small squares, both brothers fell into silent thought. Percy had a feeling that neither of them were thinking on the game. What was on Bill's mind he didn't know, but he knew for certain what was on his own.

Audrey's paperwork, put down as useless because they didn't have the time or energy to process it. She wouldn't be happy. He wasn't happy. He wanted to come clean with her, to tell her everything and know for once and for all just how interested she was. If she was going to despise and scorn him for being a wizard, he'd rather her do it now and not further down the road. He was already a little too deep into her to be able to pull back unscathed. And what would Lucy say...? He'd hoped he could just tell them and be out with it. Apparently, things were not that simple. But then, they never were.

He shoved a knight into position and let him deal with one of Bill's pawns. The light from the fireplace flickered over his brother's scars as he studied the board and Percy lapsed into thought again. If today was any indication of how things were going, he could already foresee some difficulties between himself and Audrey. As much as they both pretended everything was all right, it wasn't, and things would someday come to a head. He could just hope they could stay that off for a while longer...

.

Audrey leaned against Percy as she studied the case file he'd given her. It was her father's, a copy of the final version of his folder. There were large sections blocked out, and sometimes entire pages missing as she flipped through.

"Percy?"

"Hm?" He was reading one of those thick tomes he seemed to prize so much.

"Where is the rest of this?"

"What?" He looked up, straightening his frames.

"There are words blacked out, and it's not all here." She flipped between two pages. "Twenty-six and twenty-eight. Twenty-seven is missing, and you know I've gone over this three times."

"Is it?"

"Where is it, Percy?"

"I'm hiding it from you."

"Why?" She looked back at the papers in her lap, picking up a picture of the crime scene and studying it.

"Because as you know, you're not supposed to have it." He told her, enjoying their closeness. "As soon as you pass the WOMBATS I can give it all to you." And that would have to suffice.

She scowled. He could practically feel it, even if she was facing away from him. "That sucks."

"Yes, it does." He ran his fingers down the lines of his book. She twisted around where she sat on his couch to look at what he was reading. "What are you reading?"

"One Thousand Herbs and Fungi."

"Percy, you have the day off."

"I know."

"That sounds...so boring."

He reflected on that for a moment. The loss of the word magical in the title did make a great deal of difference in the appeal of the book. But of course Audrey couldn't know the full title. Not yet, anyway. "Yes, it does. But I'm afraid that's how it's going to have to stay."

Audrey snapped the case file shut. "Let's do something else."

"Such as."

"Something that makes me feel smart for a change. Let's watch Star Wars."

"Are you...implying that I'm stupid?"

"You are when it comes to reality and real life." She told him, then winced as he raised his brows casually. "All right, that sounded harsh. What I meant was, all your knowledge is very abstract, very removed."

"Very removed." He agreed, then leaned forward to emphasize his point. "But that doesn't necessarily mean that it's not as wrapped up in real life as your information. We merely have very different lives."

"That's what I meant." She agreed uneasily.

He shut his book and set it on the coffee table. "No, it isn't, but I forgive you, chiefly because you just admitted your own ignorance along with picking on mine."

"Well, as long as we're equal in our stupidity."

"We're not." He stood and stretched. "I know about both sides, and you only know about one."

"Both sides." She repeated. "What is that even supposed to mean? Two sides to the world?"

"Essentially." He shrugged. "You'll understand when you understand."

"And if I don't? What if I'm not deemed acceptable to take your tests, and what if I do take them and I fail? What then?"

"Well, then, it will have been a pleasure knowing you." Percy responded.

Her jaw dropped a little. "You would...?"

"I would." He didn't look at her. "As you say, I'm fairly removed. Really, getting along with normal people involves constantly lying to them on every topic. I'm not willing to waste time on those kinds of pointless relationships. Everyone I've interacted with in the past is just like me."

She shook her head, holding up her hands. "Are you talking about a government department, or a whole other country, Percy? Because more and more, it seems like the latter."

"I can't answer that."

She gave him a look. "You never can, can you?"

"Sorry." He shrugged. "Which is why I'm keeping your interaction with my family, specifically my brothers, to an absolute minimum."

"Because...?"

"Because I know they'd say the wrong thing and give it all up." He glanced at the round watch on his wrist. "Which reminds me that I've got to go see them sometime."

"Tonight?"

"Today. My mum insisted on having a family dinner. She always pulls us all back to the Burrow and then stuffs us with food, like it's some kind of growing ritual, for our birthdays..."

"Oh! Whose birthday is it?"

"Er..." Percy hesitated. "Mine."

She sat up. "Percy! It's your birthday and you have the day off, and you're doing paperwork?"

"Well, yes!" He shrugged. "I mean, you're here, and so it's not quite like work..."

She snapped her fingers for silence. "You should have told me."

"Why? It's a birthday. I have a birthday every year, it's not such a great deal..."

"Hush." She told him. "I don't even have anything for you."

"Well, I didn't tell you, so I obviously didn't expect you to." He told her.

"But I should." She leaned against his shoulder. "I'll have to come up with something for you as a late gift."

"I don't need one."

"Rejecting people's kind gestures does not endear you to them, Percy."

"Sorry."

"When do you have to go?"

Percy shrugged. "Mum will have dinner at seven, as always, so I'd probably better get there at around six. I could start getting ready at ten to six and get there easily."

She paused. "With ten minutes to spare?"

"Yes."

"I thought they lived in Devon."

"Er..."

She looked up at him. "I knew it. Your parents don't live in Devon at all."

"They, they do." He insisted.

"Liar." She settled down again. "Go ahead and lie as you like, but know that I'm picking up on all of this, so you might as well tell me when you're lying and let me know that you can't tell me."

"That would never work."

"Why?"

"Because then we couldn't talk."

"Are you implying that everything you've ever told me is a lie?"

"No."

"Well, then." She gave him a look. "Do you want me to go so you can get ready to go to your parent's house, which is apparently within ten minutes walking distance?"

"No, it's only three now." He shrugged. "You don't have to go just yet."

Audrey looked over at him. "Then what shall we do with our remaining two hours?"

"Paperwork." He drawled.

.

Percy sat on the porch after dark, watching the Lovegoods fade into the distance, strolling along dreamily under the moon. A couple of crazies, they were, and whoever had invited them to his birthday party was not thinking of him...He shook his head as they disappeared, rubbing both his eyebrows and sighing.

Audrey had been a little annoyed with him that he hadn't mentioned it was his birthday; he could hear it in her tone. He knew that it wasn't that so much as it was the constancy of his silence. She was annoyed at not being told, not just about trivial events, but about anything. Her father, the WOMBATs, the whole damn world he lived in. Percy ran his hand through his hair as he flopped down outside.

This was not working out.

And you knew it, he chided himself.

But it had sounded so logical when Penny had argued it out. Where was the flaw? Logically, it ought to be working just fine, logically, Audrey ought to just hush and trust him and stop stressing him out. Where was the flaw?

He recognised it after only a few moments thought. The flaw was in intent. Penny had had an idea about their relationship; that Percy would draw comfort and healing from it. That had worked. What hadn't was that both of them had neglected to think of the other party in this equation; Audrey. Of course, Audrey had her own agenda. Penny had planned out the perfect taking relationship, ignoring that he might be asked to give something.

Or had she? Was that his omission?

Ginny appeared from nowhere behind him, putting a beer down at his side. "And what's the ray of sunshine thinking about?"

He smiled ruefully at her sarcasm, picking up the bottle and rolling it between his hands. "Nothing." He looked over at her. "You." He took in her appearance, wincing slightly at the beer in her hand. She was all grown up now, more than he liked.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here on your birthday." He told her.

She shrugged. "It wasn't much of a birthday."

"Sorry." He winced.

"I'm not blaming anyone." She shrugged. "Sometimes things are more important than people and birthdays. Dad and all of you had more important places to be than with me."

"I guess my gift wasn't much of a consolation." He glanced down at his bottle. Books had always been his gift of choice, whether he was giving or receiving them. He'd given her a NEWT study prep guide. "At least not next to that new broomstick from Bill and Charlie."

"Well..." She said sensibly, not finishing the thought. He ran his hand through his hair as her silence reassured him that his gift was indeed nothing next to the shiny new broomstick; she was simply to kind to say it at the moment.

"Well, well, you two are being gloom and doomers." Charlie commented casually as he emerged from the house behind them. You know," He dropped his muscled frame down beside Percy's skinny one on the stair. "You're the only person I've ever met who actually poops out at their own parties. Really. I mean-"

"Charlie." Ginny said in a no nonsense tone that was alarmingly remiscent of their mother's. Percy had a sudden vision of Ginny and Potter with kids of their own, Ginny turning out just like Mother.

"Sorry." Charlie winced, as if he were thinking along the same lines as Percy. "So, er, what is the problem?"

Percy wished he were Bill. When it came to asking for advice, he detested the thought of needing help from anyone. But Charlie was the least qualified of anyone, aside from perhaps Ron, to offer advice on his predicament.

"Nothing."

"Trollsnot. It's that girl, isn't it? The muggle one."

"What muggle girl?" Ginny looked up and between the two of them. "Hold it a second, what girl?"

"There are many muggle girls."

"Yes, but there's only one who's your new girlfriend."

"New girlfriend!"

"Charlie, hush!"

"Ginny, why don't you go inside. I'm sure Potter is missing his chewtoy."

"Charlie..." Ginny looked between them. "What's all this?"

"Nothing." Percy insisted.

"Potter is missing you."

"He'll be out here any minute, begging you to come in with him and disappear into a broom closet for a few minutes lively diversion."

"No, he's not, he's talking with Ron." Ginny said sharply before cuddling up too sweetly next to Percy. "So. A girlfriend? What's she like?"

"Ginny." All three turned. Potter was standing just on the other side of the screen door, gesturing to Ginny. "Could you come inside for a second?"

Ginny looked between her brothers as they both choked back laughter. "Fine, I'll be right there." She said before shooting Percy a look. "I want to hear about this later," She muttered in his ear before rising with a disapproving look at her elder brother. In a moment she'd rejoined her boyfriend inside.

"Dependent little bugger." Charlie snorted and took a long swig of butterbeer to cover his grin. "So. What's your muggle's problem?"

"Nothing."

"Let me guess. She's mad at you that you can't tell her all the things she wants to know about magic. Unless she's really stupid, she must have figured something is way wrong with you by now."

"Pretty much."

"So." Charlie nudged him with his elbow. "What are you going to do?"

"Do? What can I do? Legally, I can't tell her anything. She doesn't seem to care much about the law, though, she cares about what's right, and the two aren't necessarily one and the same. And..." Percy shook his head and turned his bottle in his hands. "Things have gotten way out hand with this. It was just supposed to be something that helped me get away from the world, get past...well, you know. And now it's all complicated."

"You like her a lot, don't you?"

"Yes." Percy mumbled. It felt stupid, he felt like he was twelve years old again, having to admit these things to Charlie. Except that when he was twelve, they wouldn't be talking, Charlie would be threatening to feed him to the gnomes unless he confessed his crush, and then he'd go off and publicize it...there were some advantages of getting older, then. Percy shook his head to clear his mind and sighed. "Anyway, it doesn't really matter. She's not mad; I'm not really sure she gets mad, but she's definitely getting close to having it."

"And then?"

"And then, she'll go get herself in trouble," Percy predicted, "And I'll find out about it, and I'll have to call you and the two of us will have to go dig her out again, like we did in Malfoy Manor. She's very self-reliant. If I don't give her answers quick enough or satisfying enough, she'll get them herself."

"She doesn't trust you."

"Why should she? I've given her no reason to. I'm basically leading her along blindfolded, promising that in a far distant fairy-tale someday, I'll let her understand, but not given her any indication or any hope of when that will be. I can't really blame her."

"Muggles." Charlie agreed. "Poor souls. You should have stuck with a witch."

"Oh, yes, whose suffered and watched the war tear her homeland apart until she can never properly heal and never trusts anyone again. Sure, that'd be so much better, thanks. God, no wonder you're single."

"Hey, no personal comments, I'm helping you here."

"Trying."

Charlie elbowed him again, and Percy gave him a wry look. "Look," Charlie said, "Unless Bill gets his arse out here, which I don't think he will, you're stuck with me as advice-dispenser. So."

"So." Percy hesitated. Charlie did know a lot about girls, or at least he had back in his Hogwarts days. He thought back to that afternoon, when Audrey had handed him her completed paperwork. She would be less than thrilled that it had been rejected. Maybe he could tell her tomorrow, instead of getting her the news right away, as she'd requested. She had been less than thrilled with him today, anyways. He'd scared her, he could tell, even though she had tried not to let him know it, and he'd tried to appear as rational as possible. "I think I kind scared her today, too. I mean, really. I told her...some things, and it kind of made her step back and re-evaluate all this. And me."

"What did you tell her?" Charlie asked, rubbing his hands and looking out at the moonlit lawn and the distant road.

"Some about Fred." Percy said, trying and mostly failing to sound nonchalant.

"You just told her about Fred? Just now?"

"Well, no, I told her that awhile ago, but..." Percy shrugged.

"But...?" Charlie prodded, looking from the landscape to his gawky brother. "But what?"

"Well, I told her some about Rookwood today, and..."

"Yeah, that was probably a mistake."

"Yeah." Percy said quietly. "It probably was."

.

"How did you get by?" She asked, leaning her head on his shoulder.

He made some mumbling noises in his throat and avoided answering.

"I'm serious, Percy." She told him. "I never would guess...well, I probably wouldn't guess that you'd gone through a recent loss. I was a wreck, even months afterwards. I'd never lost anyone before..."

"Well, there you go." Percy told her. "I've seen people die, so it's...not as hard."

"Yes, but he's your brother."

"I know, and that brings with it the number of guilt feelings typical..."

"Why guilt feelings?"

Percy hesitated. "Fred and I weren't on great terms." He looked down at his hands. "I'd only resolved our problems a few hours before his death. I mean, if I had come back any later...It might have been too late, and then no one would ever have forgiven me. I could never have forgiven myself." He looked over at her. "And don't give me that You-Poor-Thing-You look, Audrey."

"Sorry." She clapped her hand over her mouth, then sat up straight again. "So how did you get by?"

"I made it up to him." Percy said, leaning his head back. "I made sure that I redeemed myself, did what was right by him. If I'd waited for that, either, it might have been too late."

"For what?"

He looked over at her nervously. "You're not going to like it."

"Try me."

"Audrey..." His voice took the serious turn that she'd begun to recognise as meaning that something deep, something bad was coming. "I was perfectly rational, in my right mind, I knew was I was doing, and I was...right."

"What did you do?" She asked. His stupid glasses were making him hard to read again, though she could definitely feel the earnestness of his attitude.

"I got even."

She blinked. "You what?"

"I got even. I killed him." Percy's tone was as calm and natural as it could be. But inside, he was twisting his hands anxiously around one another. He looked down at her nervously. If ever there was a time for her to panic and run out, this was it. She was a good, little model-type daughter, not dark or twisted, and the farthest thing from bloodthirsty. He watched her expression and waited.

Her mouth hung open for a moment, then closed as she seemed to think better of responding. She'd looked surprised at first, then...then her expression morphed into too many modes to recognize. At last, she looked back up at him. "You...?" She didn't need a response. "What did it feel like?"

"Right." He told her. "It felt right. It was right." He was still waiting for the explosion. He didn't exactly look like the killer-boyfriend type, and he knew it.

"What about all that stuff about revenge not being right, or making you feel bad, or whatever it is they say?"

"That's bullshit." He told her. "It feels amaz...I mean, it's not bad." No need to go overboard and tell her every little detail.

"Wow." She seemed to find it more thought-provoking than frightening. Lucy's eternal calm had rubbed off more than either of them knew. She turned to stare ahead at the bookshelves. "You just killed him?"

"Pretty much." He crossed his arms and sat with her.

"And...Didn't you get in trouble at work, or anything?"

"The man was attacking a school full of children, Audrey, with intent to kill. I had every right; it was practically self defence."

"Oh." She said quietly. "How..." She looked down. "How did you do it?"

He looked down. "I'd rather not go into that."

"Percy, you can't just lead me on..."

"Audrey." He turned to her, using the tone again. "Really, Audrey this is...Look." He spread out his hands. "This is a lot bigger than just me and my brother. I know you've probably got that sorted already, and you probably have about a million theories as to what it all is, but...What happened that day was not just about me. There were other people, more important people. And it wasn't just about a school getting attacked. That's the simple version. It's very complex, and very covert. There was...so much at stake."

"And will I find out about that, too?"

"Trust me." He told her. "I'm having a hard time not telling you now. It's all very meshed in together."

"Why? Because I'm nosy, or because you plan on killing me later?" It was meant as a half-joke to hide that he was actually scaring her a little, but Percy didn't smile. He looked...grim. Gritty. She hadn't known that someone so proper and pristine could look quite so evil while sitting on a couch in clean clothes, in a clean flat and a clean world. She studied his appearance again. Somehow every time she looked at him he looked different to her eyes. She wondered briefly if she'd ever really know him, or would she be forever peeling back old layer and finding a new dimension, a new Percy?

"Because," He paused to answer her question. "Anyone who really wants to know me needs to know this. People say our history is what makes us, and that usually doesn't mean anything, but in this instance it does. It really does. If you even care about me enough to stay interested at all, you're going to have to deal with the fact that I've seen and done some ugly things, and I live in an ugly world."

"We live in a fallen universe." She murmured absentmindedly, an old mantra a teacher of hers had once drilled into his students.

"Oh, and also," He hesitated, "You'll need to deal with the fact that anyone who wanted to...get involved with me, would probably have to enter said ugly world."

.

Percy twisted his beer bottle in his hands as Charlie sat beside him. "You just spit it out like that?"

"I did." Percy winced. "I...yes, I did. I mean, I wanted to tell her. I think she should know, I mean...Isn't it a woman's right to know that the man she's seeing is technically a killer?"

"Oh, sure, just terrify and mystify her forever, Perce. That's the way to woo a woman." Charlie gave him a sarcastic thumbs-up. "Real smooth."

Percy looked away morosely. "I know."

"No wonder. I'm surprised she didn't just leave straightaway."

"She might yet." Percy said drily. "And maybe that's best."

"Do you want that?"

"No." Percy said, looking down. Utterly stupid, the whole thing. He should never have gotten involved, but now he was. Now, he was attached to her, not in a dependent sort of way at all, but in a way that he had grown accustomed to having her about to talk to or pass the time with. He looked down at his hands, his beer now empty, as he thought on it. She was nothing special, nothing he couldn't get over. He could get over anything, and he knew it. He had proved his own internal strength to himself before, and he still was today. But for the amount of time they had been together, the entire matter was growing alarmingly close to heart.

A/N: More to come, I promise. I'll try to keep up with posting one chapter every two weeks from now on. If anyone is still reading this, thank you!