Disclaimer: I own nothing

Pairing: Russia x Kagome

Crack!

Russian Mail-Order Brides

should never be over six-feet tall

Kagome really hadn't spoken to Souta since that little incident a few days ago.

Unfortunately, she would wholly regret that, too.

"Are you expecting someone?" Kagome asked, reluctantly asking her little brother as the door-bell rang insistingly. Souta also glanced up, his bright blue eyes lighting up once he realised who it must have been.

"Oh ~ it's here!" He smirked, immediately raising Kagome's suspicions as he raced to the door. Kagome frowned, giving him a suspicious look and quickly followed after him, wondering what could possibly get him so excited.

Hopefully it wasn't as disturbing as Souta's incest fetish...

"One package delivered to Higurashi Souta and Higurashi Kagome?" A postal carrier looked rather bored, standing in front of a massive box that was taped down tightly. Kagome was taken back and simply stood there staring at large box as Souta eagerly took the paperwork to sign his name.

"What the hell is this?" Kagome screeched, pointing at the large package, "Aren't you a little too young to be ordering stuff online?" She rolled her blue eyes, seeing how Souta was completely ignoring her in favour of fawning over his mysterious box, "What the hell is it anyways?"

"She's here! She's here! She's here!" Souta kept repeating the words excitedly under his breath, completely oblivious to Kagome's presence, "She better be pretty!"

'She?' Kagome bit her lip, already having a really bad feeling about this, "You had better open it before Kaa-san gets back," The miko crossed her arms expectantly and tapped her foot, wondering if it was some sort of pet or something.

They already had Buyo...

"Right," Souta snapped his fingers and quickly began tearing off the tape with much struggle. Kagome watched with bemusement, not even thinking to help the small teenager. About twenty minutes later, Souta finally managed to get the box open.

What popped out was not what Kagome and Souta expected.

At all.

"Who the hell are you?" Kagome immediately got into a defensive stance, pushing a stuttering Souta behind her. The very large male simply ignored for the moment, looking around in apparent interest with his violet stare.

He did not look Japanese in the very least.

He also had the exact same aura as Kiku did.

'Is he... one of them?' Kagome could not help but think, wondering if this was another country. Her excitement grew as Souta latched on to the back of her shirt, muttering something that she couldn't hear.

It was only a second later that the man's dark gaze finally landed on Kagome, "Are you my new bride~?" He asked in an accented English and in highly childish tone, though Kagome could easily detect a dark undertone beneath his childish exterior.

"What... did he say?" Souta asked weakly, unable to understand the accented English. Kagome twitched, finally realising the intensity of situation as she turned around to glare at Souta.

"What the hell did you do?" Souta cowered under her glare, mumbling something as his face turned red, "What was that?" Kagome grumbled, keeping a close eye on the obvious foreigner – who was looking at them with a high interest, mostly focused upon her.

"I said I ordered a Russian Mail-Order Bride!" Souta finally confessed, cowering even more as Kagome's blue glare heated up.

Kagome was about to let Souta have the lecture of his life, but before she could even open her mouth, two strong arms wrapped around her slender waist and pulled her back into a broad chest, "You are such a pretty little bride, da?"

Kagome and Souta choked as the strange male hugged the life out of the miko, "W-what?" Kagome stuttered helplessly, feeling her breath constrict, "I-I think this is all just a big misunderstanding!" Kagome squeaked as the mysterious country pulled her back so he could observe her face.

"What?" The male blinked, looking so much like a large child, "Nyet, you are my bride!" He smiled cheerfully, though the look in his eyes told a completely different story.

Kagome panicked, "A-are you one of them?" She asked in a quiet tone, trying to change the topic of conversation, "A country?"

The man gasped, "You know I'm Russia?" He looked surprised, and then a bit excited, "This does not mean I have to hide my true identity from my new bride, da?"

'Russia?' Kagome vaguely thought, remembering what Japan had told her and how frightening Russia could be, 'Great, now how do I get out of this?'

"Japanese girl with blue eyes?" Russia observed keenly, his smile turning a tiny bit predatory, "You must be the one that Kiku talks about a lot!"

"Kiku talks about me?" Kagome muttered, blushing a bit because she didn't think that Japan thought that highly of her.

"Da! And now you are my bride~!" Russia smiled, "My human name is Ivan Braginski, but you can call me Russia, since you know!" Ivan squeezed the poor miko once again, constricting her of oxygen once more, "Japan will be jealous! Though, Natalya might be angry..." Ivan shivered a little, though kept his tight grip on Kagome as he turned around to walk down the shrine steps.

Kagome gripped Russia's thick coat in protest, "I don't think Russian Mail-Order Brides work this way!"

And Souta was left behind, wondering how his beautiful Russian bride turned out to be that big man-child...

What nation(s) should I do next?