Disclaimer: I own nothing

Pairing: America x Kagome

Crack!

When there are English Subtitles in a Japanese Theatre

beware of Americans

Tokyo, Japan

"Where do you think Kiku is?" Souta asked curiously, glancing up at Kagome with his large blue eyes. His sister shrugged, slumping down in the uncomfortable theatre seat as she looked around in a paranoid-like manner, wary of seeing either Russia or France.

"It's not surprising, he is pretty busy, after all," Kagome answered, knowing he could be called away at any time by his boss, "I just wonder why he wanted to meet us at this movie, though..." She muttered, only vaguely noticing as a blond foreign male sat beside, looking rather excited.

"Y-yeah, really..." Souta shuddered, not too fond of frightening things, "Why would Kiku want to see a horror movie?" His fingers clenched around the armrest as the lights lowered and dimmed for the upcoming previews.

Kagome exhaled lazily, resting her head against her forearm while vaguely paying attention to the previews, "Oi, Nee-chan," Souta spoke up quietly, careful not to disturb anyone else. Kagome glanced over to him questioningly, "Why do you think there are English subtitles?" He asked, watching as the foreign letters appeared at the bottom of the screen.

Kagome blinked, not too concerned as English words did appear on the movie previews, "Maybe some foreigners requested it?" She suggested, leaning back and dulling her senses as the movie began. She sighed boredly as the rather graphic movie played on, well aware of how Souta must have been feeling.

Screams rang out through the dark room as a man was brutally beheaded, "Ugh, this is so fake!" Kagome grumbled, feeling Souta bury his head into her waist as he shivered visibly. She patted his back soothingly, though didn't take her eyes off the rather fake special effects (fake to her, that is).

What she didn't expect was for the person on her other side to grab her arm tightly, "Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! This is so scaaaaary!" The blond male whimpered in English, screaming in a high-pitched tone as he practically leapt off his seat and into her lap.

Kagome stiffened and slid back into her seat as buttery popcorn flew into and stuck to her thick hair, "What the hell?" The miko screeched, surprised as the blond man didn't even seem to notice what he was doing and wrapped his arms around her shoulders in fright.

"Nee-chan...?" Souta weakly muttered, seeing a crazy foreigner practically molest his sister unknowingly. He frowned, forgetting about the movie for a moment as he kicked the man in the shin for touching his sister.

"Ah?" The man blinked his teary blue eyes from behind his glasses, finally realising what he was doing, "Don't worry!" He jumped back into his seat with a wide grin that screamed arrogance, "Don't hesitate to hold my hand if you're scared!" He laughed, though it sounded rather contradictory because he was still shaking from fright, "I'm a hero!"

Kagome twitched, staring at the man like he was insane. She barely even noticed that he was speaking to her in English, "If you're scared, then you don't have to watch this." She sighed, hesitantly patting his leg and the man squinted his eyes in the dim light in order to observe her better.

"Wow, you're pretty!" The man grinned again, trying to ignore the gory movie so he could converse with the Japanese woman, "My name's Alfred Jones! What's yours?"

"Don't talk to him; he's crazy!" Souta whispered loudly, glaring at the American from Kagome's other side. Kagome sighed, forcing a smile to her pretty face as she lightly turned to the blond male.

"Higurashi Kagome, nice to meet you." She said politely, choking on air when Alfred grabbed her hands enthusiastically with his blue eyes shining brightly.

"Hey, since I'm waiting for my friend, why don't we hang out together after the movie?" He asked and then spoke before she could even answer, "We could get something eat at McDonald's or something?"

Kagome's brow twitched, staring with disbelief as Souta snorted, "Doesn't he mean WacDonald's?" He stated in Japanese, barely able to translate the man's fast words.

"W-what?" Kagome stuttered, taken back by Alfred's rather forward behaviour, "I-I don't even know you!" She flustered, though it didn't deter Alfred in the least.

"And who's this little dude?" Alfred asked with interest as he glanced over to Souta, "What's your name, little man?"

Souta stared in a manner similar to Kagome, "Higurashi Souta." He muttered, completely forgetting the bloody movie as the American distracted him.

It was only then when Kagome stiffened after she sensed something, "Y-you!" She pointed with shock, seeing Alfred blink curiously, "Y-you're a country, aren't you?" She accused, feeling that familiar aura surrounding the man.

Alfred looked shocked, "H-how did you know?" He asked, though everyone glanced up when the theatre door abruptly opened as bright light shined in.

"невеста-Kagome is here, da?" It was that dreaded Russian accent...

"Non, you Russian brute! Mademoiselle Kagome has no desire to see you anymore!" And there was the French one...

Kagome didn't say a word as she grabbed Souta and fled through the emergency exit, ignoring Alfred's loud 'wait!'

Russia and France eagerly followed after the girl, shouting in Russian and French as America sat back down in shock, hie eyes wide as he didn't even bother to ask why Russia and France were doing in Japan.

'How did that girl know I was America? And why were Russia and France following after her?'

Well, his interest was peaked...

невеста = Russian for 'Bride'