EPOV

In my lifetime, I have had many awkward conversations. Heck, some were downright humiliating. When I was fourteen, my mother caught me pouring through the pages of Playboy magazine. Yeah, that's a memory too painful to recollect. Then there was a time that I had to inform an actress I was working with (out of respect her name will be omitted from my monologue) that if she continued to move upon me so seductively during scenes, a boner would embarrassingly arise. Normal, yes, but definitely not appropriate. Especially when the said actress is wed to the director.

However, none of those compare to having to explain to my seven year old angel that she caught me having sex with my girlfriend. Even worse, I have to divulge the fact to Alice, who's sure to be pissed off with a vengeance. Yay me!

The image of Angela's terrified face is burned forever in my mind. I'm seriously considering hiring a therapist for the poor child, there's nothing more traumatizing than walking in on a parent in the throes of passion. I don't blame her if she doesn't want to see me today. Honestly, I'm nervous about facing her.

Which is why I'm sitting in the kitchen all alone, counting down the hours until I have to bring up this horrible event.

"Baby, it's five thirty in the morning. Why are you up?" Bella plops down in the stool next to me. She's got a robe on, securely covering the lingerie she's wearing underneath.

"I can't sleep. I'm being haunted by the sight of Angela…the poor girl…"

"Yeah." Bella reaches for a bagel and starts nibbling on the edges, a nervous habit of hers. "I'm willing to pay for the therapy she's going to need for about oh, the rest of her life."

"Ugh, don't remind me. You know, I can't decide who's more embarrassed: me or her."

"She's never barged into our room before. The thunder must have frightened her." Bella concludes aloud.

"Frankly, I'm more worried about Alice's reaction."I reply honestly.

"Oh God, I don't even want to think about it." Bella's eyes bulge.

"Hey, do you think Angela even knows what we were doing?..."

"I bet she does to a certain extent. Kids are so advanced and perverted these days. But even if she doesn't know the mechanics of sex, it doesn't diffuse the situation. She is perfectly aware she witnessed something that she most definitely shouldn't have."

"Who witnessed something they shouldn't have?" Alice's voice rings from the kitchen entrance.

"Jesus!" I instinctively jump out of my stool and it lands on the tiled floor with a thud.

"Sweetie, are you okay?" Bella rubs my back while I regain a healthy heartbeat.

"Gawd Edward, what's got your panties in such a twist? Scared of the thunder?" Alice taunts.

"No, of course not! You just caught me off guard, that's all." I reply back defensively.

Alice chuckles in mockery of me.

"What are you doing up so early anyways? Don't you need your "beauty" sleep?" I question.

"Shesh, I don't know. I suppose I can't sleep when you two aren't serenading me with the sounds of your moaning."

Bella and I both blush simultaneously.

"Wow Bella, thanks for the eyeful. You are aware that there are kids living in the house, right?" Alice raises her brows whilst evaluating Bella's clothing…or rather lack thereof. The insult causes Bella to quickly tie the robe tighter around her waist.

I hate when Alice treats Bella as if she's some streetwalker instead of the love of my life. Bella's too sweet to say anything affective, but I can easily detect how uncomfortable the situation is for her.

"Alice, shut the fuck up. You're the one who use to parade around in the buff."

"Yes, but that's different. They're MY kids."

"Yeah, I think they'll thank you if you cover up for EXACTLY that reason."

"Umm…I'm going to take a shower." Bella announces quietly to me. I kiss her on the lips, displaying how much I love her. And showing how meaningless Alice's words are.

"Damn it, Ally. Can you stop being such a bitch? Especially for things you once did yourself." I scold.

"Stuff if Edward. The kids barely walked then. Anyways, that was my house."

"And this is Bella's house."

"For now." She mumbles.

"Forever." I reply firmly.

"Wake up, Eddie. She's nineteen and you're this famous actor offering her the world on a silver platter."

"Ugh…I am not discussing this topic with you AGAIN."

Alice rolls her eyes and turns to prepare her morning coffee.

"Ally, there is actually something we need to talk about. It's important." I fiddle with an orange that was in the breakfast basket; mindlessly shredding the skin off.

"Oh my gosh, don't tell me you knocked Bella up." Alice's eyes minimize in genuine fear.

"NO!" I practically shout at her. A baby is definitely NOT in the cards anytime soon. I don't think this family unit needs another member at the moment.

"Thank you, Jesus." Alice praises in relief.

"Erm…it's actually about Angela."

"Okay..? Go on…" Alice is completely oblivious to where this conversation is headed.

"She kind of um…saw…Bella and I…you know…we were…and then she….and then….and we…it was an accident, really…"

"Edward, I don't speak Spanish." She huffs in annoyance.

"Angela saw Bella and I having sex." There I said it.

"SHE WHAT?" Shrouds of glass scatter across the floor as Alice looses the grip on her mug. Meanwhile, my hands fling to protect my ears.

"Shit, Alice. Keep it down." I complain.

"I shall do no such thing, Edward Cullen." Her voice lowers slightly; however, the tone is still vicious enough to make my balls curl up in fright.

"Look, she didn't see anything…too inappropriate."

"You're kidding, right? Our daughter discovering you engaging in ANY kind of sexual activity is HIGHLY inappropriate. Have you spoken to her yet?"

"No. After she erm…well, you know," Alice gestures with her hand for me to get on with my thought, "I pulled my boxers on and ushered her back to her own bed. But no. There wasn't one word exchanged on her part. I just said "goodnight" and that I loved her."

"Good. The last thing Angela needs is for you to damage her even more with idiotic rambling."

"Hey, stop treating me like the bad guy."

"Pfft…you ARE the bad guy. Is it that hard to take the necessary precautions to shield your daughter from such trysts?"

"Fuck Alice, it's not like I planned on my seven year old to discover me screwing my girlfriend. I don't need her to pull farther away from me than she already is proceeding to do."

"Whatever." Alice sighs. "Listen, let ME talk to her. Contrary to what you believe, I do know you. And if my intuition is correct you'll both be even more scarred if you handle it."

"Shouldn't we do this together? Co-parenting and all?"

"This is a task for a mother to handle, believe me. No girl wants to talk to her dad about sex. Can we please spare her? You've already made her uncomfortable enough."

"Fine." I grumble. I cannot debate against Alice's logic.

"Thank you." Alice smiles at her small victory.

Tanya attempts to shove her tongue down my throat for the umpteenth time today, but I manage to keep my lips locked tightly. No way is her slutty tongue introducing herself to my Bella-crazed one. Fuck that!

Alas, I have no option but to push my mouth closer to hers and even suckle her bottom lip a bit. A tiny moan escapes her and I sigh internally. Oh, what I do for this job…

"And…CUT!" The director yells.

HALLILUJAH! An entire choir of angels sings in my head.

I take this wonderful opportunity to dart off to my trailer. Mid way to reaching my destination, the director, Chris Weitz, hollers for my presence.

"Hey, Edward, I thought you'd want to see the scene. I can already tell it's epic."

Hmm…do I really want to see myself making out with Tanya? Nope, not at all.

"Uh, yeah sure." I reply.

I view the scene in utter disgust. Everyone has been raving about the chemistry Tanya and I apparently share…yeah, I don't see it. To me, it looks I'm in literally in critical pain kissing her. I suppose it goes with the character, Romeo. He's a suicidal lad, hence a look of misery suits him…I guess anyways.

After I complete that round of torture, I relax in my trailer. I'm giddy like a boy about to lose his virginity when I see Bella has been trying to contact me via text.

How's filming? ~Bella

Fine. It'd be better if you were my Juliet. ~Edward

Aww, you poor thing. Tanya eye fucking you again? ~Bella

Can you blame her? xD ~Edward

Yum..nope, suppose I can't. Perhaps we can schedule a threesome? ;) ~Bella

Aha, no thank you. I don't even wanna think about the diseases her pussy carries. ~Edward.

Lol, so…when are you gonna talk to Ange? ~Bella.

What?

How did the conversation switch from us partaking in a threesome to me discussing the birds in the bees with my baby girl?

Um, actually Ally is going to. I've been eliminated from that particular event." ~Edward

Oh. It's probably for the best. ~Bella

Yeah. ~Edward

A light knock on the door disturbs my chat with Bella. I bid her farewell then answer the door.

Tanya.

Oh, joy.

"Hey. What can I do for you?" I attempt really, REALLY hard to keep my voice void of rudeness. If I cannot be civil to Tanya, the rest of filming will be complete hell.

"Edward, why do you have such an opposition to me?" Her voice cracks and I immediately feel guilty about my unprofessional attitude towards her.

"I'm sorry", I relent with a sigh, "I'm not usually so standoffish. A lot is going on in my home life so I apologize if I haven't been the friendliest guy to hang around."

I offer Tanya a weak smile. It is true that I haven't been as polite to her as I have been with former co-stars. However, she's just so demanding that I pay her attention. It's not normal. I hate to be the guy to assume she harbors a bit of a crush, but at this point it's nearly impossible for me to conclude otherwise.

I wait impatiently for her to accept my apology and skedaddle, but she simply continues to stand there. It's as if she's expecting me to break out in song or beg her forgiveness.

Just as I'm about to return back to my trailer, she pulls my face in a tight grasp and smacks a kiss right on my lips. The act is so sudden I am unable to order my arms to push her away IMMEDIATELY.

"Got it!" I hear a voice announce gleefully from nearby.

I push Tanya off me- not giving a fuck if she falls flat on her ass. Out of the corner of my eye I see a paparazzo skipping away, jumping for joy.

Fan-fucking-tastic!