Chapter Eight
We had the man hooked up to the TV screen but it wasn't him on the screen. It was some weird looking thing with a large snout, mean eyes, and horns protruding from its head. In a word, it looked fucking demonic. Egon turned the screen off and looked at the man.
"What did you say your name was?"
The man looked at him. "Vinz Clortho, Keymaster of Gozer."
Janine sat on the couch behind us, holding the man's wallet. "According to this, his name's Louis Tully. Lives on Central Park West." She handed Egon the wallet. The man, Louis (or, in his mind, Vinz), reached out as well, but Egon was the one who ultimately took the wallet. He looked it over and Janine looked at Louis. "Do you want some coffee, Mr. Tully?"
Louis looked at Egon. "Do I?"
"Yes, have some." Egon answered.
"Yes, have some." Louis repeated, a silly grin on his face. Janine slowly stood and went to make the coffee.
"Vinz..." Egon kneeled on the ground in front of Louis. "You said before you were waiting for a sign. What sign are you waiting for?"
"Gozer the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldronaii, the Traveler came as a large and moving Torb. Then, during the third reconciliation of the last Meketrex supplicants, they chose a new form for him, that of a giant Sloar! Many Shubs and Zuuls knew what is was to be roasted in the depths of the Sloar that day, I can tell you."
"Egon." Janine said.
"Excuse me." Egon stood and went over to her. They began whispering to each other. Louis looked around and sniffed the popcorn. Then he rubbed a pizza on his face. The phone rang and Louis dropped both things with a start. He looked around, like a dog.
"I'll get it." Egon said. He walked over to the phone and answered it. I stood close so I could hear what was going on. "Hello?" Louis walked over to the phone and picked it up, examining it.
"Egon," I heard my brother's voice. "It's Peter."
Egon looked at Louis as he took the phone from him gently. "Thanks I've got it."
"I have some news from the world of Gozer."
"What is it, Peter?"
"I'm here with Dana Barrett. It seems the Goz has been putting some moves on my would-be girlfriend."
"How is she?"
"I think we can get her a guest shot on Wild Kingdom. I just whacked her up with about 300 cc's of Thorazine. She's gonna take a little nap now, but she says she's the Gatekeeper. Does that make any sense to you?"
"Some... I just met the Keymaster. He's here with me now."
"Oh, wonderful. We have to get these two together."
I watched as Louis swallowed the boiling water for the coffee and we all looked at each other.
"I think that would be extraordinarily dangerous."
"Okay, well, hold onto him. I'll be there in a little while."
"Good." They hung up. Louis handed Egon a pan, which he took. "Thank you, Vinz." He looked at me and Janine. "We have to find Ray. I need him here immediately."
Louis then handed Egon the lamp, which he also took.
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Later on, Janine was upstairs making the coffee in peace. Egon and I were downstairs with Louis, performing some other tests on him. Egon was looking through a small box on a shelf for a tool.
"Vinz, there's one more test I'd like to perform on you." He said while Louis was literally sniffing his arm. I leaned on the staircase, watching him curiously. That's when I heard the footsteps.
"Egon. Nancy. I tried to stop them. He says they have a warrant." Janine said as a cop, a construction worker, Peck and herself walked down the stairs. Egon backed up to the grid.
"Excuse me, this private property."
"Shut this off. Shut these all off." Peck ordered.
"You can't do that!" I yelled.
"Yes. I'm warning you. Turning off these machines is extremely hazardous." Egon snapped. He pointed his finger at him and Louis did the same, intrigued by it. Peck's eyes widened in annoyance.
"I'll tell you what's hazardous." He snapped back, pointing his finger. Louis copied once again but pointed it at Egon instead. "You're facing federal prosecution for at least half-a-dozen environmental violations. Now, either you shut off these beams or we shut them off for you."
The three of us looked at each other and then quickly blocked the switches. Egon was in the middle with his arms outstretched. Louis, who followed for some weird reason, copied Egon's movements and looked around with much interest.
"Understand, this is a high-voltage laser containment system. Simply turning it off would be like dropping a bomb in the city."
"Don't patronize me. I'm not stupid, like the people you bilk!" Peck snapped. The construction worker was looking at the grid with much interest. That's when Peter came down the stairs.
"At ease, officer." He said. "I'm Peter Venkman. I think there's just been a slight misunderstanding and I want to cooperate in any way that I can."
"Forget it, Venkman." Peck pointed his finger at him. "You had your chance to cooperate, but you thought it'd be more fun to insult me. Well, now it is my turn, wise-ass."
"He wants to shut down the protection grid, Peter." Egon explained.
"You shut that thing down, we are not going to be held responsible—"
"You will be responsible." Peck snapped.
"No, we won't be held responsible!"
"Shut it off!" he walked over to the construction worker. Peter pointed at him.
"Don't shut it off! I'm warning you."
"I...I've never seen anything like this..." the worker said "I don't know—"
"Yeah, I'm not interested in your opinion. Just shut it off." Peck snapped at him.
"God, you're an asshole." I shook my head. Peck snapped his head up to look at me.
"Yes. I am. When people like you and your brother piss me off. Now, you're going to pay the consequences of your actions."
The worker just rolled his eyes and left the grid. Peter stepped in front of him.
"My friend," he said. "Don't be a jerk."
"Step aside." The cop pushed my brother back. Peck pointed at him.
"If he does that again, you can shoot him." He said.
"Excuse me?" I started to take a step forward, but Egon stopped me with his arm.
"Don't." he whispered. "It's not worth it."
I nodded slowly. The cop pointed at Peck.
"You do your job, Pencil Neck. Don't tell me how to do mine!"
"Thank you, officer." Peter said.
"Shut it off!" Peck demanded. The worker nodded once and Egon, Janine and I walked away from the switch. Louis looked at the worker with a peaked curiosity. Egon mimed an explosion with his hands and mouthed "Boom". Peter, Janine, and I, along with Egon, stood at the staircase. The worker shut the grid off and the room turned red.
"Oh, shit..." he groaned. The alarm was sounding repeatedly. All of us, except for Louis who was grinning like Cheshire cat thinking that this was a damn party or something in his weird possessed mind, took off up the stairs.
"Clear the building!" Egon shouted as we ran out. Louis followed us close behind. We ran onto the street and watched as a beam of pink light shot out of the ceiling. Dirt, dust, leaves and God knows what else blew all around us.
"This is it!" Louis yelled. "This is the sign!" he wandered away.
"Yeah, it's a sign alright. We're going out of business." Janine snapped.