HELLLLLOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M BBBBAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THIS WAS A REALLY FAST UPDATE AND ALL, BUT I'M BORED SO I CAME UP WITH THIS… E-YAYZ!!!
DISCLAIMER: I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT OWN NARUTO AT ALL AT ALL AT ALL THOUGH I WISH I DID!!!
WARNINGS: UM, IT'S RATED T SO THERE'LL BE CURSES AND SWEAR WORDS, ABHORRENT INTAKE OF ALCOHOL (Not that much abhorrent)!!! SEDUCTION, MADNESS… UTTER MADNESS…
PAIRINGS: I THINK THE SASUSAKU PART IS OBVIOUS AND SO THE OTHER PAIRINGS WILL BE OBVIOUS LIKE NARUHINA AND ALL…
ANNOUNCEMENTS: SASUKE WAS GONNA KILL SAKURA, I'M AM SCARED… MY GRADE IN SOCIAL STUDIES IS STARTING TO REEK OF FAILURE… BOO TO THE FAILURE!!!
RANDOM ANNOUNCEMENTS: IT'S A FREE WORLD PEOPLE… QUICK! BRING OUT FIFTY BOTTLES OF COKE AND DUMP THEM IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD POOL!!! (THAT WAS A JOKE… SERIOUSLY)
REMINDER: THIS IS AN AU!!! ALTERNATE UNIVERSE!!! THEY ARE NOT NINJAS HERE!!! NO SHURIKENS OR KUNAIS OR ANY OF THAT JAZZ!!!
2 YEARS LATER…
The sun smiled upon the window of Sakura Haruno, now 20 years old, as she woke up this time at 5 o' clock in the bright happy morning. She took a shower and made her usual coffee. Sakura was often a morning person so the bright and absurdly blinding sun was a greeting of happiness for the little cherry blossom. Not only for Sakura, but it pretty much went the same for everyone else, well you can pretty much say everyone except for a certain someone whose first name starts with an S-A-S-U-K-E and ends with a U-C-H-I-H-A. Yeah, I pretty much made it obvious for you. Sasuke Uchiha, who is now pretty much 21 years older by now, woke up horribly that very morning. Why? Well, when he opened his eyes the huge freakin' sun was smiling, God, smiling straight at his beautiful, beautiful face which of course, friggin' blinded him. Then, when he stepped out from bed, he found friggin' ramen cup noodles splattered on his beautiful, beautiful carpet floor, which obviously allowed him to assume that the ever so sly yet boisterous Naruto had decided to visit his house last night for a midnight snack. Stupid idiot just had to learn how to pick locks at the age of five… thought one very grumpy Sasuke Uchiha who was starting to resemble Grumpy the dwarf from "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves"(the title of this story still sounds so generic to me…).
He took a shower and changed into his work clothes, and made coffee. You see, even Uchiha Sasuke was addicted to this wonderful caffeinated drink also known as heaven. But today, things were different, why? Today was just the day for him to run out of the blessed caffeine. He grumbled because that meant he had to ask his, quote and quote, "fucking annoying neighbor who pisses the living crap out of him", for coffee, seeing that both had a very unhealthy addiction to the drink. But there was a difference you see, Sakura loved to make her coffee all sweet and creamy, while Sasuke preferred it bland, plain, I beg of you not creamy, and bitter, which obviously means he doesn't desire any added flavoring to the drink, which is pretty much the reason as to why Sasuke hates Starbucks (Curse you Sasuke!!! You're fudging inhuman!!! Whew, that was a long sentence). Well, they do say that you are what you eat, but in this case, it's pretty much you are what you drink.
So Sasuke grumpily made his way to his next door neighbor's apartment room. At that very moment, Sakura was, as usual, drinking coffee from a huge, shining, shimmering, splendid, Spongebob themed mug while watching the morning news. Sasuke took a deep breath as he knocked on her door. After a few seconds, Sakura opened the door, accidentally hitting poor Sasuke in the face, making his day even worse than it was. He rubbed his eyes in pain, because that door really did just as much to give him a black eye. What was Sakura's reaction? Neutral.
Then it was at that very moment when she decided to ask "What the hell do you want Uchiha?"
Well that was rude. He tried (do note the word "tried") to glare, but it seemed thoroughly impossible courtesy of his very brand new, shining black eye.
Sakura was impatient, "What the hell do you want?"
He grunted, "Hn, do you have coffee?" this he said oh so sullenly that Sakura didn't really care.
She put on a plastic smile and eerily, sweetly told him "Sorry, just ran out! Looks like you're gonna have to do without the caffeine in your veins today, huh?" and with that she slammed the door in front of his face allowing the force of the door to gush wind against his face, because we all know that F=m x 2g or F=m x a, or something like that (I suck at equations XD… though I think the second one was correct).
He stomped all the way back to his room to get ready for work. He disappointingly put back the empty mug on his desk and sat on the chair facing his desk. Then he started to work…
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…
…
…
No, seriously, as in he really, started work. Like work, work. You know, his job? So you guys may probably be wondering things like "oh fudge he gets to effing work at home that's so unfair!" Or, "I don't get it, how the hell does he get paid?" Or probably, "…" If you thought of the last one, well good for you! You're an intent reader (Wow that sucked…)! You see, Sasuke's major is architecture, mainly, his job requires him to be an architect. He does the designs at home and waits for a client. So it's actually quite amazing that the amazing Sasuke Uchiha over here who comes from an extremely successful and rich family, has a simple job like being an architect. Well, he wasn't into business. So his brother, the ever good-looking Itachi, took over, much to Sasuke's dismay.
Right now, Sasuke had no clients, which was amazing because he usually had papers stacked all over his workplace, telephone calls 24/7 (some meaningless, some really important), Contactors contacting him practically every minute (some at 1 am). But today, things were different. He had no calls, no clients, nothing whatsoever to make him stressed. He sighed as the silence completely engulfed him and his room. He heard noises form the other room where Sakura was. He heard plates being piled into the kitchen sink, a door closing, which probably was the door to the bathroom, then he heard the click-clacking of high heels on the wooden floor, than he heard the front door slam, meaning she was off to work and that she wouldn't come back until 6 pm, where she would once again make noisy noise in the kitchen and all that. It was amazing really how he had learned her schedule, but beings neighbors for two years had its effect on you.
You see, Sakura was a kindergarten teacher who worked part time being an intern for Tsunade, the city's leading neurologist. Often, he would hear her curse about little brats tugging on her skirt all day either complaining about a classmate, or a wound, or telling her that she looked pretty that day and then ask her to buy them some candy (seriously, these friggin five year olds knew how to bribe!).
Sasuke decided that since he had no clients, he'd just read novels all day on his couch with a cup of… oh yeah, shit, he totally forgot he had coffee…
…
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…
…
!
"Damn you Sakura!!!"
Sakura sighed. She had left the kindergarten at 12:30, those brats' dismissal time, and yet today, she was as weary as ever. So much for a bright day… she thought as she parked her car in the parking lot (duh) of the Konoha hospital. Sakura grunted when she saw the name of the hospital posted hugely at the top of the building. She rolled her eyes at the lack of originality, or as her idol Spongebob would say it, "Imagination". I mean seriously, almost every single building had the name "Konoha" on it, like the Konoha Shopping Center, the Konoha Burger Food Chain, the Konoha Plaza, Konoha high school, Konoha university, and so and so. Sakura opened the hospital doors and went inside the old dull hospital while atrociously inhaling the smell of disease and medicine mixed together .She smiled at the receptionist, a middle-aged woman with glasses, tiny eyes, and auburn colored hair, named Fumi. The woman smiled widely back at Sakura much to Sakura's surprise because the woman was often strict and uptight with her. Today, she was friendlier, which scared the hell out of Sakura more then she thought it would.
She walked up the stairs towards Tsunade's office. She walked and walked until she reached a big oak door with intricately designed brass handles. Sakura knocked and heard her sempai's voice exclaim "Enter!" Sakura opened the really, really big doors and stepped inside. Shizune was smiling just as brightly as the woman downstairs, but that didn't creep Sakura out because Shizune was like that every single day. Sakura smiled back and made her way to Tsunade's table to get her task for today. Tsunade looked at Sakura apprehensively which Sakura tried to shrug off. Sakura was about to reach for the task board on the desk, but Tsunade stopped Sakura's hands before she reached it. Sakura was appalled by this action and gave her mentor a confused look, Tsunade looked up at Sakura and grinned and said "Congratulations." Then Shizune started clapping but Sakura still didn't get it. Tsunade then said:
"Sakura, you've done well during your internship. The hospital would like to accept you as a nurse from now on. What do you say? You start next week."
Sakura was dumbfounded, then she grinned, then she grinned wider, and wider, and wider and exclaimed "Oh my gosh! Of course!"
Tsunade smiled and said "Fine, as I said, you start next week, so be here on Monday at 6 am sharp. Got that?"
Sakura nodded her head enthusiastically, making her look like one of those bobble heads. Then Tsunade allowed her to leave the room, Sakura did, and she practically skipped all the way up to her car, and as she got in, only one thing came inside her mind…
"Oh hell, I'm so gonna have a party."
Slurp… Slurp… Slurp…
Sasuke was starting to get irritated with the noises seeing that he was a man of silence. His eyes stared into the distance while the noise went on and on. Slurp… Slurp… Slurp…
Slurp… Slurp… Slurp… Slurp… Slurp… Slurp…
Sasuke could only take so little. Where was the noise coming from anyway? Well, you all can pretty much blame the blonde bimbo lurking in the corner of Sasuke's "office" and his fat friend, Chouji. Then came the point in which Sasuke could no longer take the disturbances in his, once again, "office" so he yelled pretty much like any annoyed bastard would. Yet his outburst seemed more, well, how do you call this? Well put.
"COULD YOU TWO IDIOTS PLEASE STOP SLURPING FUCKING RAMEN IN MY FUCKING ROOM WHILE I'M DOING MY FUCKING PAPER WORK?!? SERIOUSLY! JUST BECAUSE IT'S A SATURDAY DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN GO BARGE INTO PEOPLE'S HOUSES WHILE STEALING THEIR FRICKING RAMEN UNDER THEIR FRIGGING NOSES AND START SLURPING IT LIKE YOU'VE NEVER EATEN FOOD IN YOUR FUCKING LIFE!!! YOU TOO FATSO!!!"
And that's pretty much when Sasuke said the forbidden word towards the plump, happy and jolly guy. I mean seriously, just because people are fat, doesn't mean they're jolly just like the big green jolly giant. I mean seriously, who even thought of that?!? So Chouji started mumbling "What did he say? Did he call me fat?" Naruto panickedly looked at Sasuke who went back to his paper work as Naruto started trying to soothe down a raging Chouji.
After a few minutes, Naruto had gotten the big guy cooled down, and Sasuke was happily finishing the last of his paperwork being the socially constipated workaholic he was. When Sasuke had finished the last of his papers, Naruto's cellphone ringtone, which basically was the jingle of Naruto's favorite ramen brand, started ringing. Being the unorganized klutz he is, he still had to rummage for the thing in his bag while the twenty second jingle kept on playing:
When you're happy, or when you're sad
Pick up your favorite ramen brand
We've got all the flavors
Pork, miso, udon
You name it!
Because Ichiraku's ramen now delivers!
Itadakimasu!!!
Sasuke felt that he was dying a slow painful death. Wow, a redundancy. Well anyway, Naruto found his cellphone and saw that he received a message from Sakura. Seconds later, Chouji too had received a message from Sakura. It read:
I got effing prmotd frm my intrnshp. Tsunade gave me the day off. Imma hold a prty 2nyt and u guys r invited. :))
P.S. Drinks on me (LOLZ, gonna get shitfaced 2night)
Naruto was ecstatic. And so was Chouji. Sasuke was irritated. Why? I mean, how would you feel if two idiots who had nothing else to do in their life but sneak into people's houses and eat something get invited to a party hosted by your very own neighbor while you don't!!!???!!! So basically, his self-esteem went flushing down the toilet filled with crap and other stuff. Sasuke stared at his cellphone for a few minutes.
Waiting…
Waiting…
Waiting…
"Why the fuck didn't I get invited!?!"
And then at that very moment, his cellphone buzzed. Sasuke immediately picked it up and somewhat gladdened that it was Sakura who had texted him. But he was immediately dismayed after reading the message:
Im holding a prty 2nyt at my place coz I got prmoted frm my intrnshp. Tsunade gave me the day off. Oh yeah, ur not invited. Evryone's gonna get so shitfaced that I don't thnk ur goody 2 shoes mind wud like that.
P.S. Go jump in a lake. (In ur face Uchiha)
"Shit."
YAY!!! Okay, for my friends who are reading this story, the swear words are typed by my other friend cause I don't, "have the guts" to do something like that so it's like,
*me typing*--stops— "Um, -toot- could you type in a bad word for me?" –friend goes over-- *types* "Thank You!!!"
So yeah, I'm still a goody two shoes thinker.
Thank you .YUI.22., mouse123, Itachi's-Okami-Nariko, The Girl In The Black Beret, and Lakrahe for being the first five, and only, reviewers so far! Do note the words, "so far" :3
If you have any comments or suggestions regarding this fic, please press the shiny review button you see below this announcement!!!
I love Hetalia… LOLZ XD
I mean seriously.