Heeellloooo.
So Edward is back this chapter. Yay! It took me a little longer because everyone was so excited to have him back. I hope it doesn't disappoint!
Thank you all for your reviews and story alerts. I appreciate them even if I don't reply. Each one of them is just as exciting as the next to me :)
Someone asked if I had a posting schedule. Nope, I don't because I am not sure if I could stick to it and I wouldn't want to disappoint. But I will try hard to post as often as I can.
Jacob had called me many times this week and left countless messages. In each he claims to be very sorry and want to talk. He also sent flowers. Another bunch of daisies.
I haven't answered or responded to any of them and I haven't answered the door when he showed up.
Three times.
I decided I would talk to him when I was ready, not when he was. I knew I couldn't prolong talking to him for too long, but this week I wanted to focus on my work and myself. If Jacob could act selfishly, then so could I.
I am going to go to his apartment tonight though. I figured I would head over to his apartment at about 7:30 pm, that way he should be well and truly back from work. This way I can talk to him on my own terms, it will be when I want and I can also leave whenever I want. I'll then have the rest of my weekend left to dwell on how the conversation works out.
I am not any more decided than I was last weekend about everything between us. My mind is completely conflicted, I have two different sides telling me to do two very different things. I figure I should hear what he had to say first and see where the conversation goes from there. I have no other solution regardless.
I plan to ask him what exactly his priorities are and exactly where I am on the list of them. I feel like I am at the very bottom. Everything and everyone else seems to come before me when it comes to Jake and that's not fair anymore. If I can't be one of his top priorities then maybe I can't be with him anymore. That's not too much to ask for, is it?
Right now I am stalling. I've cleaned nearly every surface and organized everything in sight. Until just recently I have always been one to avoid any form of conflict, so I am really not looking forward to what is probably going to happen when I get there. But, I have nothing left to do and it is 7:15 so reluctantly I decide to head over to Jakes apartment.
I pause at his front door. Do I knock or use my key? Things have definitely changed between us, I think it would probably feel weird to just let myself in. So I lift my fist and gently knock on the door. I can hear heavy footsteps approaching the door and my heart rate starts to speed up. I need to get a grip.
The door opens and instead of the dark eyes I expect, I am met with deep, sparkling green ones.
Edward.
Oh god. Now I really want to faint. Why does he always have to look so good?
He smiles at me and opens the door wide "Hello Bella"
I am pretty sure all I managed in response to him was a small squeak. Things are already not turning out how I planned and I just got here.
His smile gets wider "Are you going to come in, or just stand out in the hall all night?"
Rather than answer I step past him and into the apartment, surveying the living room and kitchen as I enter. No Jacob. I place my purse on the breakfast bar in the kitchen and turn around to face Edward.
"Is Jacob here? Do you know?" I ask quietly.
He shrugs "I haven't long been home, but I don't think so.".
"Oh." I said rather articulately and slumped against the breakfast bar.
Where was he? He is always ruining my plans, even when he is not aware of them. Do I wait for him? Knowing him he could be gone all night. Maybe I should leave and come back another time and I'll have to text him before I show up to talk again.
"Well then I'm just going to-" I started, pushing myself off the breakfast bar and turning to get my purse.
"So how have you been Bella?" Edward asked me, smirking as he entered the kitchen, also effectively blocking my exit from the kitchen to the front door.
"Um…" apparently I have lost my ability to form coherent sentences.
"Content? Satisfied? Euphoric?" he tried to supplement.
I regained my voice and croaked "Fine. Just fine"
"Just fine? That doesn't sound very convincing." he said moving closer to me. I am already a bumbling, incoherent mess at our current distance apart. I don't need him to get any closer, so I try to subtly move backwards as well. My back hit's the kitchen bench. I have no where to go. I am trapped.
I notice his eyes catch my movements and his smirk grows wider. His eyes travel down my body and back up to my face and he quirks an eyebrow. He keeps moving forward until he can rest his hands on either side of my hips on the bench, brushing against my own hands that are holding me to the bench.
He is so close I can feel his body heat rolling off him, so close I can smell his spicy peppermint smell. So close I can hear his quiet steady breaths mingling with my loud uneven ones.
"I've never seen you wear a dress" he whispered.
I looked down at myself. I was wearing a casual, navy blue sun dress I had bought with Rose last year and a white cardigan. I hadn't worn it until now, but I feel good in it. It wasn't cut obscenely low but it did show a hint of cleavage and a fair amount of leg, but I liked it and all this week I had been putting more effort into myself and making myself feel good.
Even if it was just wearing a few dresses and a swipe of mascara and lip gloss.
"I like the dress on you very much" he said as his hands touched my exposed collarbone and slowly started to move further down my body, tracing the swells of my breasts, down my torso skimming my hips and resting on the tops of my dress covered thighs.
My heart was beating out of my chest and the wetness was pooling between my thighs. He has such a huge effect on me. I was struggling to keep a clear head.
"But… I think we both know I like what is underneath this dress better" and with that his hands trailed down my thighs and underneath my dress.
As soon as his skin made contact with mine I could feel pleasurable tingles shoot through me. His hands moved torturously slowly up my bare thighs and came to rest on my panty covered ass and gave a gentle squeeze.
With his hands still on my ass he pulled me to him so our hips were flush, "My offer still stands. Are you sure I can't there is nothing I can take care of for you?" he replied, his voice like liquid sex.
Why is it so hard for me to think when I am around him? I need to clear my head. This shouldn't be happening.
His fingers started skimming the edge of my panties with promise to have them exactly where I wanted them. But exactly where I couldn't have them.
I finally found my voice, "No."
He pulled back a little to look at me and his hands moved back to my thighs "No?"
I took a deep breath "No. I can't. I came here to fix everything and uncomplicated my life, what we did was good and all, but…"
"Good?" he asked.
I sighed "Great."
He quirked an eyebrow.
"Okay! It was amazing, but I can't do it again. It's not right" I replied sadly.
He removed his hands quickly and took a large step back from me nodding, "Okay. Well you know where I am if you change your mind."
Just as he took another few steps back from me, we heard the sound of the door opening and both turned our heads as Jacob came through the door.
That was close.
He turned and noticed us both looking at him.
"Bella… Edward" His eyes bored into mine, but flicked to Edwards briefly, when he greeted him.
"Jacob." Edward nodded.
"Hey" I replied.
"You're here. Do you want to go talk in my room?" he asked and then looked to Edward.
"I was just about to watch some TV" Edward replied, moving over to the living room and sitting on the couch.
Jacob walked over and past me opening his door and gesturing for me to enter his room first. I walked in and sat on his bed, Jacob closed the door and I felt the bed dip as he sat next to me, neither of us saying anything.
"Where have you been?" I asked, breaking the silence.
"I was at work late. I didn't expect you to be here, I was trying to get more work done because I didn't think I had nothing to come home to. Have you been here long?" he asked.
"No. Just a few minutes before you" I said quietly.
It wasn't a complete lie.
There was another pregnant pause.
"Bella, I am really sorry about Sunday night" he said.
"You keep saying sorry, but your actions always speak otherwise. Can you see why I would take this apology with a grain of salt?" I responded.
"I know I messed up, but I really had no other choice. Sam had been drinking and he went off on Leah. He hit her Bella and tried to hurt her further. He was screaming and breaking things, he went completely crazy. Leah was so scared, so me and the guys went to help her. It's not like we could have just left her alone." he finished.
Leah is Jacob's receptionist at his garage. Jacob has known her all of his life, they grew up together in La Push, along with all of his other friends: Sam, Seth, Paul, Quil and Embry. Their group is as thick as thieves. Jacob gave them all a job when he opened his garage, so they all work together as well.
Leah and I have never gotten along. She has hated me since I first met her and with the way she has treated me the feeling is quite mutual. She is quite possibly the bitchiest person I have ever met and that's saying something considering I have Rosalie as a best friend.
"That is terrible. But this isn't about Leah. It's about us. You let me down again trying to make up for letting me down to begin with! It wouldn't have been hard to call me quickly or send me a text message instead of making me sit there and wait for you when you probably had a good idea you wouldn't make it!"
"Shit Bella, I thought I could. I was trying, but its not like I didn't have a good reason."
"You didn't need to be there. If everyone else was there like you say, you didn't need to be or you could have at least left earlier!" I retorted angrily.
"Yes I did, she is just as much my friend as theirs, it was important for me to be there for her" he exclaimed, jumping up from the bed.
"But what about me? I am your girlfriend. I should come before Leah. But you never put me first, I feel like everything else comes before me with you. Our relationship doesn't seem important to you at all" I stressed.
"You can't actually think that!" he bellowed.
"Why wouldn't I? What proof have I got otherwise?" I shrieked, my arms flailing everywhere.
"What about our whole relationship so far? I know we have hit a rocky patch the last few weeks but of course its fucking important to me!" he shouted.
I cringed. We were not getting anywhere like this.
A heavy silence fell over the room.
His loud ring tone filled the silence in the room seconds later and made me jump right out of my skin.
Jacob scrambled to get his phone "Hello?" he answered quickly, walking as far from me in the room as possible.
"What?… Yes... Are you sure? No… Oh god… Fuck, yeah of course… No I will be right there…Bye" I listened as he spoke quickly into his phone.
He is going to be right where? If he actually plans to leave right now this better be pretty frigging good.
Jacob turned and looked at me sheepishly "That was Leah."
I ground my teeth "Yes…"
"I have to go. She thinks there is someone walking around the outside of her house. She is hearing all these strange noises. It could be Sam. She is really freaked out and I have to go and check it out for her" he rushed out.
"Are you fucking kidding me? Jacob we are right in the middle of probably one of the most important conversations of our relationship and you're just going to leave?" I shrieked.
"Bella I have to go! What if it is Sam and he tries to hurt her again?" he questions.
"We haven't resolved a single thing, if fact we've gone backwards! What about us?" I asked sadly.
"I'm sorry Bella. I have to go, I don't want to be responsible if something happens to her" he states.
"Whatever" I muttered.
"I'll come by tomorrow and we can talk" he said as he opened his bedroom door.
"I am busy tomorrow. So I'll call you" I replied.
"Okay. Bye" he said and I watched him walk out the door.
Well that went great. I cannot believe he just left then! Our relationship is hanging by a thread and in one of our most important conversations he leaves to go off to someone else. There is so much wrong with our relationship right now and I am trying to figure out if there is anything left between us after everything. Does that answer my question?
I walk out of his room to grab my purse from the breakfast bar. My mind is immediately filled with images about what almost just happened on said breakfast bar a mere twenty minutes ago.
Whoa. Is it getting hot in here?
I turn around look at Edward who is engrossed in what appears to be ESPN. I like looking at him when he is all unguarded and doesn't notice, he looks different without his little smirk. He has such a well defined jaw, a perfectly straight nose and long eyelashes. He really is the epitome of good looking.
As if on cue he glances over at me and smirks. Good idea or not, I keep eye contact with him and make my way over to the couch and sit next to him. He turns and looks at me again. Does he have to be so damn irresistible?
It only takes one more minute before I stop thinking and worrying and crash my lips against his. He is clearly surprised but reciprocates eagerly. My cardigan is taken off and thrown somewhere and my hands move back to his hair as our lips moves move in sync, our tongues gliding against each other furiously.
I let out a surprised squeak when he manages to flip us over and maneuver me, pinning me under him.
"What changed your mind?" he asked looking into my eyes "I thought it wasn't right."
"Fuck right. How can something wrong feel so good" I panted out, reaching for his t-shirt and lifting it over his head.
This seemed to a good enough answer for him because he resumed kissing me senseless. I could probably just spend all day just kissing him, the man could really kiss.
His hands made their way under my dress and up my bare thighs like they had less than an hour ago, but this time I welcomed it. They moved to my hips, my dress riding up as they moved and pulled me down slightly.
He pressed himself into me more fully and I felt the seam of his jeans rub against my flimsy cotton underwear in the most delicious way. I moaned against his lips.
His mouth moved from mine and started to kiss, lick and suck his way from my neck to collarbone and back again, leaving my mouth free to make all sorts of untamed noises as he continued to grind against me. He was absolutely straining against those jeans.
"Ohh" I moaned. This was blissful torture.
"I have to have you Bella" he spoke against my overheated skin "Now."
I lifted my arms and Edward helped me lift my dress over my head, leaving me only in my underwear as the dress was padded enough, it didn't require a bra. His eyes roamed over my chest appreciatively as my hands made quick work of his pants.
I wanted him in me now.
He kicked off his own boxers and slowly dragged my underwear down my legs.
"Your so wet" he groaned, tossing my underwear to the floor, "And so sexy."
His mouth came back to mine as his kissed me feverishly. His hands moved back to my legs and he spread them, moving himself down and entering me in one swift thrust. Once he was fully inside me he stilled for a moment giving us both the opportunity to adjust, before pulling out and thrusting in again.
His movements became harder and deeper as he pushed my legs up towards my chest and held used them as leverage to increase the speed of his thrusts. He was going so deep and his pubic bone was rubbing deliciously against my clit. I was in heaven.
I could feel the couch moving with each of his thrusts, slowly inching forward across the floor with our movements, but I couldn't bring myself to care.
My body moved involuntarily as I started to match his thrusts and the rough pad of his thumbs began to circle and tease my already very pert nipples. The couch started to squeak.
"Oh fuck" I cried, I was so close.
"That's what I am doing" he grunted. I tossed my head back and started getting lost in all the sensations I was experiencing.
He was pounding into me hard and fast. It was good. Right now I wasn't feeling mad or disappointed or helpless. I was only feeling amazing and only he seemed to be able to do that to me.
A sheen of sweat was forming over us as our bodies slid so close together. Pleasure was coursing through my veins as I felt myself starting to clench around his erection, teetering on the edge.
"Come on Bella, scream for me" he spoke into my ear and then gently bit down on my lobe.
It all became too much.
"Ahh…EDDWAARRDD!" I screamed as I came, clenching around him.
"Shit yes, Bella" Edward said, pumping into me a few more times and then exploding into me.
He slumped onto me as we fought to catch our breaths and I welcomed his weight on top of me while we came down from our highs.
He rolled off me and lifted me so that I was half on him and half on the couch.
"I am so glad you changed your mind" Edward stated.
"Me too" I sighed, relaxing into him.
"I have a proposition for you" he spoke huskily into my ear.
My second ever lemon! Hope you enjoyed ;)
Review if you want a proposition from Edward!