After his second ordeal with the implant on his neck, Loki slept soundly in Thor's arms, exhausted by the toll the pain had taken on him. Once again, he wasn't going to eat any of his meal when it came, which Thor refused as well, his appetite soured by his brother's state. He did, however, pass on a message to Director Fury that he wished to have a word with him as soon as possible, deciding to try diplomacy before he smashed his way out of this place with Mjolnir in one hand and Loki in the other. He did not wish to start a war with S.H.I.E.L.D. and the humans, however, as much as their treatment of his brother angered him. Loki had started this, after all, S.H.I.E.L.D. was just responding to his power in the way they saw fit. Perhaps they did not realize what the consequences of their device were, perhaps it was turned up too high and wasn't meant to hurt nearly so much. Thor hoped that was the case, anyway, he didn't want to think of his allies as being so cruel. Either way, he would get things sorted out, he would clean up this mess somehow.
Not only could he not eat, he couldn't sleep as well, his mind wouldn't let him rest. Closing his eyes, he could only see Loki writhing in pain, crying out to him, and he'd be forced to open them to make sure his brother was still sleeping peacefully against him. If he couldn't sleep, at least he could watch over Loki through the night, and think about what he was going to say when he came before Fury.
"Thor…" a small voice broke Thor from his train of thought. "I need to eat something."
"It is too late for that," Thor replied, keeping a hand on Loki's back, wishing now he hadn't turned away their suppers when they came. He'd assumed Loki wouldn't want to eat, and he hadn't wanted to for once in his life. "You can eat in the morning when they come, you need to start to regain your strength."
"For what?" Loki asked, sounding exhausted and feeling truly weakened. He couldn't remember the last time he had something other than water, and the pulses from the thing on his neck had drained him terribly.
"So you do not fade away on me. I am going to speak to Director Fury tomorrow, I do not like what they are doing to you," Thor replied, his hand moving in slow circles on Loki's back as it had when the man slept, not realizing he was still doing it. "I hope I will not be long, I do not want to leave you alone."
"Why, do you think I'll do something stupid? What can I do?" Loki said softly, flinching a little at Thor's hand on him though he didn't pull away from his brother's touch. "If you mean trying to remove that thing again, I am not brainless. I will be here when you return, waiting for you."
Thor sighed with relief. He didn't want to imagine what Loki would do to himself without him there to stop him. He worried Loki would try to pull the device away again, and what he would be driven to in that pain if Thor wasn't there to hold and comfort him.
"…you won't be long, will you? What if they do not let you return?" Loki had worry in his voice, though he tried not to let it come through. It was hard for him to admit to himself that he needed Thor, it was something else entirely to let Thor know. Though, Loki suspected, he already did. "What if you taste freedom and decide you don't want to return?"
"I will not let them keep us apart, it is not an option," Thor said, his hand stopping for a moment as he pulled Loki closer. "I would not leave you alone in here, stop worrying. I am here to protect you."
Loki couldn't trust Thor's reassurance, he didn't think these humans would let him have his brother back, he was confused to why they allowed Thor to stay in the first place.
"Why are you helping me?" Loki had to ask, though he didn't mean to sound ungrateful. He just wanted to know what drove Thor to care for him so selflessly despite the turn their relationship had taken. If it had been Thor captured and locked away in a cell, Loki would readily admit he wouldn't have sacrificed his own freedom to watch over him. He would honestly have likely only shown up to mock him, if that.
"Because I swore to you that you would never have to be scared when I am around when we were children and I still feel the same sense of dedication towards you," Thor said, realizing as he spoke that it wasn't the entire truth, there was more to be said. Starting to rub Loki's back once again in slow circles, Thor cleared his throat to continue to speak. "Because you are still my brother, and I love you very much. Despite your wicked ways, despite what you have done, you are always the little boy that followed me everywhere. I will always protect you."
Not knowing what to say to that, Loki didn't realize he was crying until the tear dripped off his chin onto the front of his blue gown.
"But why?" Loki begged, desperate for an answer that made sense to him. Thor loved him, but why? Why did he still call him brother when he knew it not to be true? He had just tried to kill Thor and his friends, and here he was a week later, with Thor holding him and telling that he would always protect him.
"I do not know what you want me to say, Loki, I told you why," Thor insisted, confused by Loki's question. Had he not answered it already?
Loki just shook his head. Thor didn't seem to get it, and he wasn't sure if he could make him.
"After everything that has happened, how can you feel the way you do?" Loki finally said, simplifying all the thoughts buzzing through his head. It was best to start small, perhaps then Thor would understand better what he was asking him. "Why don't you just hate me like everyone else?"
"I do not think I am alone, I am sure Mother does not hate you," Thor said, frowning as he realized he couldn't speak for his father. He wanted to think that it wasn't possible for Odin to hate the boy he'd raised since infancy, the boy he'd always been proud to refer to as his son, but there was a coldness to the All-Father that Thor couldn't ignore. "I do not hate you because I always had hope for you, that I would find the brother I once knew. Whether we come from different bloodlines matters not, we are kin and I am not like Father, I can not forget our past together, I will not. As long as you live, I will have hope for you."
Loki closed his eyes, doing nothing to stop the tears that ran from them. He wept soundlessly, face pressed against Thor's chest as his brother's words repeated over and over in his mind. His questions weren't answered, if anything, they burned more now, but he couldn't bring himself to speak. He wished his brother wasn't so damn optimistic, he wished he understood Thor's devotion to him. Loki knew his own newfound attachment to Thor had to be rooted in his own needs, which made sense to him, he was trapped and helpless, Thor could look after him in here until they were released. Something he still knew he never would have done if the situation were reversed.
"You oaf…" Loki muttered, though there was no malice in his voice, only sadness. "My dear, brainless brother, there is no hope for me."
"And what makes you so sure?" Thor asked softly, heeding the insults no mind, looking down as he realized Loki was crying against him. It pained him deeply to see Loki so distraught, so defeated, but to see him openly weeping like a child caused an ache in Thor's chest, one he'd felt before when he saw his brother fall from the Bifrost. He'd lost Loki that day, and now as he watched him break down, he feared he was losing him in another way entirely.
"Because I am Loki," was Loki's simple reply. "Because I don't deserve it."