Peaches: My first chapter!
Edward: I thought you hated Twilight?
Peaches: I do, but I love Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Jacob, Leah, Eric, Aro, Demetri, Alec and SETH!!! Who sadly does not get enough love.
Edward: Do you only hate me?
Peaches: No I hate you, Bella, Carlisle, Esme, Sam, Quil, Embry, Mike, Lauran, Jessica, Eric (love/hate), Tyler and Jane. Plus anyone else who's name I can't think of right now.
Edward: You are a spiteful young woman.
Peaches; And YOU are a whiny, hypocritical, emo, stupid, brat who lacks common sense.
Chapter Five
Peaches Chapter
ALICE'S POVI HATE the Ocean. No, not just hate, I loath, detest, despise the Ocean! I would rather be shopping, I would rather be dancing, I want clean water for God's sake! But no, we had to go out on the fucking Ocean. You see? It made me mad enough to curse.
Stupid Ocean.
"AGH! WHY IS THERE SAND IN MY PANTS!?"
I turned to glare at Emmett for ruining my angst time with his incessant stupidity, "I'm guessing it's from the sand you rolled around in earlier!"
Emmett stared at me in confusion and shock, "Why are you so angry? It's not like you."
Jasper yawned and scratched his head before replying (I would have but I was busy glaring at the Ocean), "She hates the Ocean more than she hates ugly clothing."
"Oh we are screwed."
I turned to glare at Emmett, "If you know what's good for you you'll shut the hell up."
Emmett jumped up and scrambled to take refuge in Rosalie's arms.
Stupid Ocean.
HOURS LATER IN ALICE'S POV
"Land! Sweet merciful land!"
At this point I did not care that I was making a fool of myself, I was just happy to be off the damn boat. What kind of name is 'The Black Pearl' for a boat anyway? It doesn't sound pirate-y at all, it sounds idiotic. I danced my to a dress shop with Jasper trailing behind, he was walking slowly to take in the sights. Not many people know that Jasper is an artist, an amazing artist. Usually their either to wrapped up in themselves or Bella and Edward to notice that Jasper isn't just anti-social, he's observant. And anti-social. He prefers to watch the scene unfold than actually take part. He watches actions and reactions, emotions and shadows. Almost everything he sees goes into his art. But not a lot of people see it.
I get to see it though.
"Alice?"
I stop and smile at Jasper, "What?"
"Why do you need dresses in the middle of the Ocean?"
"Silly, a girl always feels the need to look her best."
Jasper grinned lightly and I grab his hand, "Come on you, let's get you some new material to paint."
LATER
I snort and throw the dress back down, "Do you have anything that wont make me vomit?" Yes that was mean, but she deserved it. Trying to force that vile dress on me. Ugly, vile dress.
"Um Miss? How about this one?"
A beautiful black and silver dress was gently laid down in front of me, it flowed so perfectly, matched my skin and my personality. I loved it. "I, want it."
The sales girl smiled softly and made me pay, too little if you ask me. That dress was worth three times as much. Jasper came up behind me and offered to carry the dress, he picks the oddest time to be a gentleman. As we walked I couldn't help but notice women on the streets glaring at me, obviously jealous for one reason or another. Oh well. I'll just seek comfort in my lovers arms while wearing my new to-die-for dress. I can feel the smirk spreading across my face as we enter the lodge Elizabeth arranged for us to stay at.
Peaches: Short but sweet.
Edward: I thought it would be as vulgarity filled as that story you wrote.
Peaches: You mean 'Edward Vs Jacob'?
Edward: Yes.
Peaches: Well I deleted it because it was stupid.
Edward: Oh. I feel like your co-host on some God forsaken talk show.
Peaches: Well, that's because you're my bitch.
Edward: I'm afraid.
Peaches: Then my work here is done.