Pure, uninterrupted rage filled my soul.
That disgusting, revolting, repulsive man had touched MY Christine! His ghastly lips and hands had come in contact with her beautiful, angelic flesh. It was sickening.
I had never heard as much terror as I had in her one scream. Nor had I seen anyone cry like that before. Fury clenched in my heart. A demonic being like Jospeh Buquet could not be allowed to get away with touching my angel.
I would kill him.
I would mar every inch of his sordid flesh that had touched Christine.
He would feel my wrath.
He would pay with his life for disturbing the life of my Christine.
I stormed through my lair into a room that had lay undisturbed for over five years. I flung open the door so hard it tore off its hinges.
"Damn it!" I growled, kicking the door out of my way.
My Punjab lasso sat on the table exactly where I had left it all those years ago, a thick layer of dust coating the top of it. I held it in my right hand, feeling death radiate off it. Something similar to fear welled up in my stomach as I stared at the killing machine. I hadn't killed with it since I put it in this room five years ago… And it wasn't like that had been an enjoyable experience.
The craze of rage clouded my vision before I could think too long about it, taking over my rational mind in a frenzy.
My angel had been hurt, and someone was going to die.
I walked quickly and purposefully into one of the many trap doors I had in this theatre, searching for my prey.
A little voice tried to quip up in the back of my mind, but the monster of anger dwelling inside me quickly silenced it. I had one purpose: kill the tormentor of my angel.
"ERIK!" Came her bloodcurdling scream, causing the most sincere terror I had ever felt.
My Christine was in trouble, and I was her only hope for rescue.
I fled through the passages faster than I even knew my legs could carry me toward her scream, tears almost running down my face.
Nothing could happen to her… I needed her to be fine. She would be fine…
I saw through my one way window the most horrifying thing I had ever seen in my life. The fear I felt at that one sight was enough to floor me, even in my panic.
Jospeph Buquet stood there, his putrid, oversized body crushing my beacon of light against the wall, her lips swollen having been obviously kissed already. His sickening hands touching my angel's waist, leaning into kiss her soft lips again…
Tears streamed down her face.
A kind of mania overcame me.
I leaped from my hiding place, wrapping my skilled fingers around his wind pipe and easily throwing his weight off my Christine. I held him in front of me, feeling something akin to joy as I watched him struggling for breath.
But an angelic little voice said something beside me.
"Angel," She squeaked, "Don't"
I stared at the monster in front of me for a moment, then turned to see my angel.
She looked terrified, looking at Buquet with fear. After everything she had just been through, I couldn't let her watch me kill a man. It would destroy someone as good as her.
I threw Buquet to the ground. Nearly smiling in satisfaction as his fat body wriggled away from me.
"You ever lay a hand on her again, and it will be the last thing you do." I said in the most menacing voice I had ever spoken. He deserved to die, but I was being merciful because of Christine…
That did not mean he was safe.
Once he scampered out of the room, I turned to face Christine, to find her wrapping her arms around me. I tensed without thinking about it.
It was the first time I had ever been embraced.
It was the most glorious feeling I had ever felt.
All the anger temporarily flooded out of my body, as I tentatively returned her wonderful embrace.
"Erik," She sobbed, clinging to me as if her life depended on it, her tears staining my shirt.
"Shhhh," I tried to console her, praying that I was doing it right. "It will all be alright… He will never touch you again."
She continued to weep… Had my attempt at consoling her not worked?
"If you hadn't have come…" She cried, fear so evident in her voice it was tangible.
"I did come though my dear." I cut her off gently, wanting to do something to make that fear in her voice. "You are safe… Nothing will hurt you so long as I am here to protect you."
As I said the last sentence I tenderly lifter her chin up to meet my eyes… I had to see that she was okay. Anxiety coursed through my veins at the prospect of her looking at my masked face.
For some reason, she didn't even appear surprised.
Her eyes briefly took in my mask, but then she directly met my gaze, a look of awe and curiosity on her face. She stared for what felt like eternity, her gaze seeming to bore into my soul.
"Thank you angel." She whispered, rooting me to the spot. It was the first time I had ever been thanked in my entire life.
She hugged me again (I was starting to actually enjoy the physical contact) when there was a knock at the door. Unable to be discovered, I made a quick exit, promising to see her again face to face that night if she so desired.
And I left, my emotions still reeling.
I stopped in the middle of the passage, for some reason unable to travel forward. My knees were literally frozen. What had come over me?
All I could picture was Christine's face, and the look of horror on her face as my hands squeezed the life from Joseph Buquet.
Slowly, I looked down at my hands grasping my Punjab lasso, my knuckles white from gripping it so tightly. So slowly that it took several minutes, I unclasped my hand…
The lasso fell to the floor.
I fell to my knees sobbing as all the rage left me, filling me with intense sorrow.
I couldn't do it.
I couldn't kill him.
Not after picturing that look on Christine's face… He wouldn't be so lucky if he ever touched her again, but I couldn't directly defy her wishes like that.
Carefully, I stood, briefly pulling the mask away from my face to wipe my tears away. I stood there for several minutes, staring at the Punjab.
If I picked it up again, I wouldn't be able to control the murderous urge to use it on Buquet… So after a few difficult minutes I simply turned around and walked away, leaving it lying in a heap on the floor.
I walked aimlessly through the passageways for hours, simply thinking. A new feeling seemed to be growing on the corners of my heart, but I couldn't quite figure out what it was.
Whatever the feeling, it hurt. Was it remorse perhaps? In all the literature I had read, this could match the description of the feeling. What was Christine doing to me?
Christine! How long had I been in the passageways? What if she had come to see me and I had missed her?
I approached the one way mirror passage in her dressing room… Nerves clenching in my stomach. What if she didn't even want to see me?
What if she didn't come?
As I approached the mirror, I slowly opened the door, fear clenched in my stomach…
"Erik!" Came the most beautiful sound I had ever heard in my life.
She had come. She was here, right in front of me.
"Good evening Christine," I spoke calmly, my voice not betraying a hint of my relief.
"How are you?" She asked sweetly, sitting on her small sofa.
"I believe that question is better directed at you." I spoke, concern seeping into the edges of my voice. I stood across from her in the room, awkwardly standing by her vanity.
"Well I asked you first," She said softly, sorrow and fear tinged her voice, but her voice instantly picked up her usual cheerfulness. "Don't stand over there… Come sit down!"
It was false joy, that much I could tell. Christine was such a good actress that I doubted anyone who didn't truly know her would have noticed; hence, why the stupid fop had let her come somewhere alone.
I slowly walked over to the sofa, sitting tight against the opposite arm rest.
"So how are you?" She asked again, obviously trying to break the awkward silence between us.
"I have certainly been better." I answered cryptically, not wanting her to see how concerned I was for her.
"Well that's an incredibly cryptic answer." She snorted.
"How are you?" I asked carefully.
"I've been better," she whispered, obviously trying to be funny; but there was no humour in her voice.
"I'm sure you have been." I remarked quietly.
That was all it took.
Tears welled up in her bright green eyes, but they didn't fall. She spoke softly, as if she was afraid to say it out loud. "I'm absolutely terrified."
"Don't be afraid Christine." Without thinking, I moved closer to her and wiped away the single tear that was trailing down her cheek. Immediately, I pulled my hand back.
Where had that impulse come from?
"I have a package of Kleenex here somewhere…" She mumbled through her tears, jumping up and walking quickly over to her small make-up table. Shame burned through me; I had let my horrible flesh touch her, and she had jumped away.
I watched her as she rumbled through drawers in her make-up table, her actions almost frantic.
"I know it was here…" She sobbed, her tears beginning to flow faster. I just watched her frantically throw things out of her table and her bag, completely at a loss for what to do. From what I knew, this behaviour was something akin to shock, but my readings had never prepared me for when someone went into this kind of state. Books certainly couldn't prepare you for this onslaught of emotions.
"Damn it!" She yelled, crying freely now. "I can't find it!"
Acting on complete impulse, I leapt to my feet and crossed the space between us in a moment, pulling her into my arms as she cried.
"I need to find the stupid tissues." She cried, obviously not realizing how illogical she sounded… It was textbook shock/post-traumatic stress; focussing so much on such a menial task like that.
"Christine," I said steadily and confidently, determined not to show how much at a loss I was. "You don't need to find the Kleenex package… Come sit down on the couch please."
She willingly obeyed, and I congratulated my ability to sound like I knew what I was doing, regardless of how frantic I was feeling myself.
She cried without speaking for almost half an hour. Obviously she had kept all of these emotions inside her all day, and the fop hadn't done anything to help her… That bastard had been too busy playing hero and thinking of himself to actually think about how she was feeling. Anger welled up inside me, but I pushed it down, Christine needed me not to be angry right now.
"D-do you want to talk about it?" I asked, stumbling over the first word. The phrase felt so strange on my tongue; Me, Erik Destler, the Phantom of the Opera, asking a teenage girl if she wanted to talk about her feelings?!
It was obviously the cue she'd been waiting for.
"I'm such a naïve, helpless little girl!" She exclaimed. "I was nearly raped, and couldn't even do something to him to make him hesitate long enough to get away! I didn't try to get away as soon as he came in the room either, I was too damn scared to do anything but cower! I should have been able to do something, anything!"
"Christine," I tried softly to cut her off from this self-abuse.
"Don't you get it Erik!" She screamed, jumping off the couch and running her hands through her curls. "I'm so scared, all the time! Scared to stand up to Carlotta, scared that the few people who I care about that are left will leave me, scared of telling Raoul how much is conceited attitude can bother me sometimes, scared that he'll get bored of me and leave, scared that you'll decide I'm not special and teach someone else, scared of being insignificant." Her voice quieted as shock filled me.
"Scared that I'm just another drop of water in this sea of people, that will just float through the ocean unnoticed until I hit shore… Scared of being nothing." She fell to her knees and began to cry even harder than before.
I sat there for a moment, paralyzed by the shock in me. Christine had always appeared so put together and confident; she was an even better actress than I had thought. Was this why she was so determined to change the world? Simply so she wouldn't fade into oblivion? If I had a million years, I never would have guessed that she felt this way.
And I had absolutely no idea what to do about it.
Slowly, I walked up to her and carefully helped her to her feet. One thing was for sure, I was not at all equipped to deal with this, so I was going to have to resort to the one thing I did know how to do. I moved her right arm into a basic block in front of her face, desperate to change the subject and make her feel better.
"If somebody comes at you, block them with your dominant arm like this." I pushed on her arm for emphasis. "Then your feet are free to try and incapacitate them long enough for you to get away. Either go for the groin, or put your knee into their stomach."
"Plus," I gently grabbed her arm to demonstrate. "In this position, you could also elbow them in the face if you needed to."
She looked hesitant, "I don't think I could kick someone hard enough to actually incapacitate them."
I snorted, unable to help it. "You took down a mugger twice your size Christine!"
"It wasn't me getting attacked though," She protested weakly, "I caught him by surprise."
"You need to transfer your instinct to save others into an instinct to save yourself." I plowed on, ignoring her comment. "You have a fire when defending others Christine, if you can take that feeling and put it into self-preservation you won't freeze up so much if something ever happens to you."
"Okay," She said, still sounding unsure.
"Close your eyes," I commanded.
"Why…?"
"Just do it." She looked at me curiously, then closed her eyes.
"Think back to when you were attacking that mugger," I instructed. "Remember how you felt when you saw that old lady getting hurt by that man."
"Mama Valerius." She whispered.
"What?" I asked, completely confused.
"The woman who was getting attacked, I visited her the other day… And her name is Mama Valerius."
"You visited her?" I asked, completely forgetting about what I was doing.
"Yes," She smiled, opening her eyes. "She is a super sweet woman, but her family never visits her anymore. I'm going to see her again tomorrow."
"That's… Nice?" I didn't know what to say.
She laughed. It was such a wonderful contrast to the tears from earlier, but her face quickly turned serious. "Angel, I was wondering if I could, ummm, tell her about you?"
The question startled me. Christine had never asked to tell anyone, and her telling one old woman couldn't do any harm. Plus, if it would make Christine happy…
"Yes," I said after a few moments. "You may, but only her."
She nodded happily. "I should probably go… Meg will be worried about me." She began to walk toward the door.
"And Christine?" I said hesitantly, terrified of saying what I was going to say.
She stopped and turned around. "Yes?"
"In terms of what you said earlier, I am here to stay; I could never teach anybody else, they would pale in comparison to you. Also, someone as unique and magnificent as you could never fade into oblivion. You are a star in every sense, and anyone worth caring about will stay beside you to see you realize your destiny, and change the world." I stopped, breathing heavily as I awaited her response. I had never complimented someone on such a personal level before.
She smiled the most beautiful smile I had ever seen, and a single tear of slid down her cheek. She walked up to me and looked me in the eyes, her smile making her magnificent green eyes twinkle like tiny stars.
"Thank you Erik," She whispered.
And quickly kissed my unmasked cheek, turning and walking out the door.
I don't know how long I stood there, my cheek tingling where her lips had touched it. Nobody had ever kissed me before, not even my own mother. Without even realizing it, I soon found myself smiling as a feeling of golden warmth spread through my entire body, all the way down to the soles of my feet.
I instantly knew what it was, even though it was something I had never experienced…
Pure happiness.
AN: I have to admit, I really like this chapter, and it is the longest chapter yet in Erik`s point of view I hope you all liked it! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! It means so much to me to see that people are enjoying my work!
For those of you who like musicals, I listened to the Sweeney Todd movie soundtrack to get into the darker mood needed for the beginning of this chapter… It's excellent! Who knew Johnny Depp could sing? If you love musicals, or just fantastic movies, you should go see Les Miserables! It is absolutely SPECTACULAR and is now my new favourite movie
Anyways, enough of my rambling Thanks for reading, and please review!