Some of Rose's perspective, and some new information. I'm thinking this is going to be more of a novella, because I'm not one to drag things on. Anyway, enjoy!

P.S. I got a tumblr! My blog is under the same name as here; I'm still getting used to the whole thing...

Chapter IV

[… the secret of the Deplorable Word… that was the secret of secrets." -C.S. Lewis, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Magician's Nephew]

Setting the teapot down on the kitchen table, Clara pulled back her chair and seated herself. Rose was sitting at the head of the table, her face resting in her hands. River stood in the corner, watching Amy and Rory sit diagonally from Rose. Both were twiddling their fingers, swapping glances that ranged from argument on who should speak first to whose turn it was to say something encouraging.

The Doctor's place at the table was left empty. No one had the heart to fill it.

Clara raised the mug to her lips and took a sip of the hot tea before saying, "I'm from further along the Doctor's timeline than Amy, Rory, and River. It's really complicated to explain without saying too much, but the Doctor was forced to jump into his own time stream to save me from being hurt saving him. He was able to rescue me from being torn into a million pieces and lost forever, but only one of us could get out without the whole thing fracturing, potentially undoing everything the Doctor's ever done in any of his lives.

"Before he sent me off in a TARDIS he stole from himself at an earlier point in our timeline, the Doctor told me that I needed to go to Utah to meet the Ponds and Dr. Song. From there, we were meant to go find you and the Metacrisis Doctor in the parallel universe called Pete's World. He told me to give you that envelope. Though he said we needed both of you. I don't really know what we're supposed to do now, especially if we don't have the Metacrisis Doctor."

Rose sighed, running her fingertips along the edges of the blue envelope sitting in front of her. Since reading it the first time, she almost couldn't bear to open it again. "Please don't call him that."

"Sorry," Clara said.

"I'm knackered," Amy said quickly, jumping in before anything else could be said. "I'll get up in the morning and make breakfast, if that's okay with everyone. We can talk then. I'm no use when I'm tired."

"Me, too," Rory said, standing up right after his wife. "See you in the morning."

Clara looked at Rose, her eyes still fixed on the envelope. River cleared her throat. "I spoke with the TARDIS, Rose. As far as I can tell, your old room should be in the same place as before." Without another word, River left.

Once the door had closed behind her, Rose looked at Clara and said, "I don't think she likes me."

"She's really nice," Clara said, "just intimidating. I take it you haven't met her before?" Rose shook her head slightly. "I've met her once before Utah, but she hadn't met me yet. The Doctor never talked about her really. I didn't even know she was a woman until I met her. Always just talked about Professor River Song, Dr. River Song, the Doctor's wife."

Not sure if Rose knew who River was to the Doctor, Clara carefully gauged Rose's reaction, fearing she'd revealed too much too soon. Rose hardly seemed surprised. Clara certainly didn't expect to hear Rose ask, "Does he ever mention me?" One look at Clara's eyes told Rose the answer she'd feared. "Didn't think 'e would. Jus' would've been nice, 's all."

"River about said the same thing," Clara said thoughtfully. "Not yet, of course, she's only meeting me for the first time. I've already met her. She's brilliant at acting like she doesn't know me. Unless this changed everything that has happened and now that line of events won't have happened...but it can't've because I'm making it happen. This just gives me a headache." She placed her hands on her temples. "What happened to the other Doctor?"

Rose looked at her hands, studying them intently. Seems she had been doing an awful lot of that recently. She was no artist, but she could easily paint a portrait of just how dry and sad her hands looked. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Okay, I'm sorry," Clara amended. Sensing that Rose wanted some time alone in her new home (assuming the Doctor let her stay and Rose still wanted to), Clara faked a yawn, thinking that maybe it would be a good idea to video chat Angie and Artie. She pushed her chair back from the table and placed her mug in the sink. "Well, um, I think I'll go ahead and go to bed. Goodnight, Rose."

It was after Clara had already shut the door that Rose responded, "G'night."

She was lost in thought, feeling incredibly lonely in what had been her home for so long. The kitchen (or galley, as the Doctor so often corrected, because this was a ship) looked exactly as it always had. Nothing had changed in here, unlike the rest of the TARDIS. It hurt Rose that so much had changed; it was like the Doctor had completely moved on. She was afraid to ask if he had regenerated. Something told her that he had. Part of her wished she could have been there to help him through the pain, for she would have understood it this time.

Feeling a yawn rise in her throat, Rose stood from the table and pushed her chair in. Hopefully her room would not have changed. River Song had said that her old room was in the same place as before. Would it look the same? Would she even be able to find it in these new hallways?

Rose left the kitchen (galley) and turned left, leading her hopefully back to the console room. After several minutes of meandering and getting nowhere, Rose wondered if she had taken a wrong turn. Surely there hadn't been this many rooms when she lived here, right? Lightly tracing her fingertips on the wall, Rose sought out the song in her mind, asking for help.

One more turn to the left, and Rose was in the console room. With a smile, she whispered her thanks to the Old Girl. The smile quickly fell to a morose grimace. This console room seemed so sad, so lonely with all its blues and greens and grey steel. Had it changed right after she left? How long had it been since Davros?

Another yawn snapped Rose out of her thoughts, and she looked around the room at the multiple exits. One seemed to grow brighter than the others, so Rose took that exit. Her room was supposedly in the same place, so Rose followed the pattern she had set long ago: first right, second left, third door on the right.

The white door with the silver handle, two words scribbled with permanent marker on the wood just above the handle: bad wolf. It had been a joke between the two of them.

Hesitating as she reached for the doorknob, Rose felt her stomach drop. What if the room was cleared out, merely having some of her things there with everything else in storage? It made her feel almost sick to think that she was just another number, just another girl who had traveled with the Doctor.

As she dropped her head, Rose noticed a sliver of light coming out of the door across the hall. The door she never spoke of. It had always been there, but she had never been in there. Even though she loved the Doctor, she could never invade his privacy to go into his bedroom. He never even said that was his room, she just knew. The door was a fine, dark wood she had never seen before, the doorknob was golden, an intricate circular pattern up in the top right hand corner of the door.

And someone was in there.

Carefully, Rose raised her hand and rapped her knuckles on the door three times. She heard footsteps approach, and then the door opened. There stood River Song, dressed in an ivory bathrobe and looking very much distressed to have been disturbed. Her hair was damp, and the golden light from the bedroom made her look positively radiant, Rose was forced to admit.

A light blush darkened Rose's cheeks as she shrunk back a bit and said, "'m sorry. I thought this was...never mind. It's just, I've never seen this room used before. I thought it was the Doctor's room." Another strange thought crossed Rose's mind and, before she could stop to censor herself, she blurted out, "You're not him, are you?"

River chuckled. "No, I'm not. This is the Doctor's room. I share it when I'm here." A little coldly (or maybe it was just tiredly), River stated, "That's not a problem, is it?"

Thrown back, Rose shook her head and muttered, "No, sorry. No. Um, goodnight, then."

The door was promptly closed in her face. She stood there and blinked several times, trying to make sense of what she just learned. River Song and the Doctor shared a room? Rose was not naive; she knew what that meant. Plus, she knew all along that he wouldn't stay hung up on her. She was left in Pete's World with the human Doctor-her heart clenched in her chest at the thought-allowing the Doctor to move on with his life. The human Doctor had never told her who or what River Song was to him, just that he had met her and she had died. Before he was ever created, had the Doctor and River...no, she wouldn't think about it.

It still hurt.

Finally, Rose took a step back and turned to face her own bedroom door. Somehow, she was even more nervous now, knowing that the Doctor's current something was just across the hall. Even if he weren't here, she knew what the two of them sharing a room meant. Hell, she had shared a room with the human Doctor.

Turning the doorknob, Rose opened the door. Instinctively reaching for the light switch, Rose was pleased to see that her room looked exactly as it had the last time she saw it, that day with the ghosts. Nothing had been moved, but nothing was dusty, like the TARDIS had been taking care of her room for her. Even Rose's second best pair of trainers was lying on the floor by her closet, just where she left them.

An involuntary smile rose to her face as she surveyed the sights. Not even River Song could ruin this for her, because this was home. When she eventually had showered and climbed into bed, Rose felt twenty again, like the last three years had never happened. With a sigh, Rose rolled over and fell into an uneasy sleep, full of explosions and loneliness and last words.

Torchwood File 1.06 W-RT

Name: John Theta Smith, Dr.

ID: 1963241206

Known as: The Doctor

Date of birth: 23 November 1972

Date of death: 5 March 2013, 13:47:?

Position: Field Operative

Target: Classified

Cause of death: Classified

Emergency Contact: Rose Marion Tyler, ID 196305305

File Status: LOCKED

Rose raised her blaster and brushed a piece of long hair behind her ear. Biting the side of her lip in frustration, she glanced to her left. The Doctor was still struggling with the lock on the door. Sighing, Rose crossed to him and aimed her gun at the doorknob, blasting the damn thing off. He looked up at her and she commented, "They already know we're here anyway. Might as well give us a little more time."

He briefly jerked his head to the side and said, "I guess you're right."

"You know I am," Rose said as she moved past him into the next room. The prospects weren't going to get much better. Torchwood was doing the best that they could to fight the Cybermen, but their numbers keep falling. Rose had thought they had gotten rid of all the Cybermen, but apparently Torchwood missed some. The mechanical men remained hidden for quite some time, but someone accidentally activated one, and their numbers slowly began to grow as they became active. Torchwood's team didn't catch wind of the nightmare until a week and a half earlier, when one appeared in London. Now, they were fighting for their lives.

Rose glanced down at her left hand, grimacing at the sight of the lone ring. The Doctor and she were supposed to be getting married the following day at noon. Somehow Rose didn't think that would be possible. She knew that she and the Doctor didn't need to be married to show how much they loved each other, but it would be wonderful to actually be together forever in more than words.

A clunking sound resonated throughout the warehouse from behind the pair. Rose glanced over her shoulder and saw the Doctor doing the same. They'd found them. "Run!" the Doctor shouted. Without a second thought, he grabbed Rose's hand and they took off. The Cybermen were slow, but they were able to shoot from a distance. It seemed that their aim only got better with time. Knowing that they wouldn't be able to outrun them for long, Rose stopped and began shooting. "Rose, what're you doing?"

Rose looked up at him and said, "We've got to take care of them while there aren't so many."

Sadly, he said, "We can't win this, Rose. We need to get back to Torchwood." Once again, he grabbed her hand and pulled her along. Unable to fight him, Rose sprinted to keep up with his long strides. She screamed as a red jet of light flashed by her head. "Are you alright?" the Doctor shouted as they continued running.

Rose nodded, unable to speak for fear of slowing down. The footsteps grew louder, which meant that the Cyber-backup had arrived. The Doctor and Rose ran as fast as they possibly could, and Rose tried to ignore the cramps in her sides and the burning in her lungs. "We need to blow the place up," Rose shouted weakly.

"Yes, but how?" asked the Doctor. He began rambling out loud, but Rose didn't pay attention. She was focusing on running through the aisles of the maze-like warehouse. If the Cybermen didn't kill them, this running just might. They turned the corner and hoped that the Cybermen would take a minute or so to catch up. The Doctor pulled Rose down into a doorway so they could catch their breath. He may have the mind of a Time Lord (minus the influence of the time vortex, of course), but he had the body of a human. He could only last so long. "I've got a plan."

Clutching her side, Rose responded, "Then get on with it. I think we're on our own."

He nodded. "Torchwood should be sending more people over but we need to finish this before that. But it won't be safe."

Rose took his hand and gave him a tired smile. "It never is."

The Doctor grinned. "Just do as I say and you might get out."

"What about you?"

The smile faded. "I'll do my best." Without giving her any time to respond or argue, his eyes widened in excitement and he said, "Allons-y!"

They took off and the laser blasts began again. Rose couldn't lie; the adrenaline rush that she got from these sorts of things was crazy. It shouldn't excite her when their lives were in danger, but it did. And danger never abandoned the Doctor. But Rose wouldn't have it any other way.

Nearly hitting the wall, they ended up in the back corner of the room. The two of them jumped over a tall metal gate, and started climbing a ladder up the wall to the catwalk that went across the warehouse and up to the roof. With cries of "Delete!" at their feet, they were never truly in the clear.

Rose reached the catwalk and moved out of the way so the Doctor could come up behind her. Her heart was racing and her lungs were screaming for rest, but she couldn't stop now. The Doctor and Rose hurried across the metal path, dodging the blasts coming up at them. He managed to get ahead of her, and struggled with the door. Rose blasted the knob again and they emerged onto the roof.

The sunlight was bright and Rose had to squint. She was regretting wearing her leather jacket because the sun was warm, even if the air was cold. Wind blew and they heard the Cybermen coming from all different directions. There was more than one way up onto the roof.

Before Rose even realized that he wasn't by her side anymore, the Doctor had a plan. He was over at one of the large generators, trying to reprogram it, by the looks of it. Rose guarded his back knowing that there wasn't much she could do until he told her otherwise. Ignoring the sounds of the Cybermen coming, Rose searched for other ways off the roof. They were trapped, unless they wanted to jump several stories onto a concrete parking lot or a field or a lake. Rose wasn't sure they could jump that far.

The sunlight reflected off of the metal bodies of the Cybermen as they convened on the roof, making their way towards the couple. "Doctor!" Rose screamed, afraid to take her eyes off of the enemy.

He grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the edge of the building. "Jump!" he shouted.

It all happened before she could realize what was going on.

Screaming her head off and legs flailing through the air, Rose's stomach plummeted and her heart leapt to her throat. The Doctor squeezed her hand. Rose thought the sun was entirely too bright. They were not going to make it to the lake, but maybe the ground wouldn't be so hard. Maybe the grass would be soft and cushion their fall. The wind rushed by her ears and Rose was glad she wore the jacket because now she was freezing.

Rose heard the Cybermen continue shouting and shooting, but they could not follow them. After an eternity of free fall, they hit the ground and rolled down a slight hill into a ditch. Knowing that she was going to be black and purple later, Rose checked herself to make sure that nothing was broken. She was a little sore, but otherwise fine.

And then she realized that something was terribly, horribly wrong.

"Doctor?" she asked tentatively, but then she was able to piece together what had happened.

One of those cries of "Delete!" while they were falling was uttered by a Cyberman who shot out with so many others. And one of those shots hit the Doctor.

Rose crawled over to him and took his hands. Everything else around them disappeared and Rose's stomach sank like it did that day at Canary Wharf, a lifetime ago. "Doctor, are you alright?"

He groaned and winced in pain. When shot by a Cyberman, humans die instantly. Rose thought that maybe he would live, but then she saw the pain in his eyes and tears filled hers. "Rose-"

"Shh," Rose said quickly with a brave smile. "You'll be fine. Just wait for the regeneration process to start. It'll all be okay."

"Rose, I've only got one heart, one life. I'm dying."

"No!" Rose plead, biting her lip to keep the tears from falling. Leaning down closer to his face, Rose ran her hands through his hair. "You can't leave me, not again. Don't do this, Doctor. Please don't leave me."

He grimaced in pain and squeezed her hand. "I will never leave you, not really. I wish we could've gotten married, Rose. That would've been a fantastic adventure. Now, there's something very important that I need to tell you. Lean down." Rose did so and he whispered something in her ear. She didn't quite understand what he said but the words were instantly etched in her brain. But then she realized that he shared his greatest secret with her: his name.

Rose knew that his time was running out and her heart shattered. If only there were a way that she could save him, like so many times before. "Please," Rose begged, the tears falling freely, "I love you."

He took a shallow breath, and stared directly into her eyes. "Rose Tyler, I love you more than you could ever know."

When his heart stopped, Rose could feel it in her soul.

"No!" she screamed, pounding on his chest. Jackie once made her take a class on CPR, and even though she didn't remember the exact steps, Rose tried. She pressed on his heart repeatedly and try to resuscitate him. Nothing was working. The tears blurred her vision but she couldn't stop. "You can't do this, Doctor! Come back! Come back to me! Don't leave me!"

Exhausted, Rose collapsed on his body, his suit absorbing her tears. How could this have happened? But then the sadness suddenly waned and a new emotion filled her entire being: anger.

The sun had never seemed so golden.

Rose stood without realizing it and turned to face the large building. The Cybermen must have been on their way to find them. To find Rose. Torchwood might be in there, looking for them. They wouldn't know that he's gone. That he's dead. Because of those Cybermen. Rose screamed, taunting them to come and find her. Striding towards the warehouse, she felt the anger grow and grow until she didn't think she could handle it.

She didn't understand how or why, but all she could see was gold, and then she felt her rage explode, detonating the building in front of her with a slice of her hand. The world went up in flames, and all of hell was unleashed. They should never have killed the Doctor.

The gold was so strong, so bright that Rose didn't know what to do. Her head felt like it was being slammed repeatedly against a brick wall and so much information flooded into it. And then the gold disappeared to be replaced by darkness and the world was no more.

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