For hours, the Enterprise traveled on their intercept course at warp 7. The freighter still didn't pop up anywhere. The course switched whenever a signature did happen to turn up. However the search was beginning to make Data feel hopeless. It was an emotion he never expected to have. His confidence in his captain and his crew was always infinite. For some reason, though, now became an exception.
His emotions were a rollercoaster of frustration, anger, and worry. Now he sat in the captain's ready room with his head in his hands attempting to come up with an explanation for his irritable and unacceptable behavior over the past hour. He was sure that the captain would understand that this particular situation was unnerving and that anyone in his situation would break under the pressure. Though, this wasn't the first time someone Data cared for had been taken hostage. Why should now be any different? It was Heva. That was why. She was the most precious thing in his life, the one thing everyone looks for; someone to love and to receive love from. It was an immensely complicated thing for Data to comprehend…losing her. He now understood what people meant when they said that the loss of someone they loved or the very implication of said loss was something they feared the most. Captain Picard entered the room and Data stood. "Sir, I-" he began, but the captain held a hand up to halt him. Data's mouth shut instantly.
Jean-Luc sat in his chair and leaned forward onto his desk, studying Data quietly. No words were exchanged for a long time as captain and officer gazed thoughtfully at one another. Picard shook his head, an expression of wonder on his face. "It's amazing how much you've grown since we met, Data." he said quietly. "The years we've known one another are many, and yet I have never seen you so broken and so…distracted. Not even the first time you experienced emotion when you were concerned about your fear when Geordi was in danger just a few feet away and you did nothing faltered your concentration like this has. Isn't it amazing how the danger of different people in our lives makes us react in different ways?" Data's lip trembled and his gaze fell. "Is it bad to worry more about one person as opposed to another? Is it bad that I am more concerned about Heva now than I was about Geordi then?" Jean-Luc shook his head.
"No. It's part of being human to worry about different people in different degrees. You were very worried about Geordi's well being back then. You're more concerned about Heva now because she has a different relationship with you. For instance, if I were married and my wife were in grave danger I would be deathly afraid for her the way you are for Heva now." Data looked up at the captain. His face wet with tears. It was interesting, seeing Data cry. The fact that an android had been given this ability was something extraordinary. Data was so human in so many ways, and yet he still felt driven to become even more so. "I just want to know that she is alright. I feel so foolish. There have been many missions and many situations that I have been involved in where I have been fearless. I moved forward without any concern about what could happen to me. I have seen people cry under the stress, but I never truly understood why until now. I do love Heva with everything I am. But I feel childish for crying when I could be doing more to help find her and save her."
"Data, when the things most precious to him are taken from him even the strongest and bravest man in the universe can break. How you are now is possibly the closest to being human than you have ever been. I am sure that Heva wouldn't think any less of you for showing this amount of emotion. You are trying your hardest, and I know that it's hard. No one on this ship blames you for being worried or even scared. All of us are worried about Heva. And you, being so close to her, have just that much more of a right to be so than we are. She is your first love, the one you hold dearest and anyone would be this way if that was taken from them. I do understand what you are going through, Data. And I do need you to help me find Heva. I know you want to help me. But for now I think that you'd better be relieved of duty until you're feeling a little better. Everything will be fine, I want you to trust me on that. I told Deanna that you've been feeling extreme stress and she is in her office waiting for you if you wish to talk to someone about this further. I thoroughly recommend it." Data wiped his face and looked out the window. He didn't move, he didn't speak, he only stared out at the stars. His expression was grim, almost guilty in a sense. Jean-Luc opened his mouth to speak, but Data seemed to read his mind and answered the unspoken question.
"I could have prevented her capture. When we separated in the turbo lift…I went back just a few minutes later with my security team. I heard her communication with you and told the other officers to continue on. I asked the computer for her coordinates. She was just barely around the corner from me. I ran as fast as I could but just before I reached her location, the alert ceased. If I had just gone faster, I could have stopped her abduction…" "Data…" Jean-Luc carefully began, knowing full well how Data felt. "It isn't your fault that she was captured. We have no clue as to why-" "It feels like it!" Data snapped. His fists shook on the arms of his chair. The captain leaned backward, he wasn't shocked at Data's reaction; only saddened. Data stood and turned away from his captain. He leaned up against the wall, both hands against it's surface looking down at the floor with trembling shoulders.
"I have been told countless times that I am fast, strong, almost invincible. My fellow officers have commended me on numerous missions for my quick thinking and reaction time to distress. I have saved the lives of many a fellow officer. But now, I am terrified beyond measure. I could not get to Heva fast enough to help her. Do you know what it is like to be so efficient and so great at similar tasks to save your comrades but not fast enough to save the one you love? I do not even know if Heva is alive. I am uncertain of how her health is. I do not know if she is hurt, if she is scared, I do not know at all. I do not know, I do not know, I DO NOT KNOW!"
Data pounded his fists against the wall with every repetition of his last phrase. Jean-Luc rose and held his wrists as firmly as he could to stop Data's fit of rage. The friend he'd known for so long stared at him, anguish written over his face. "Data," he began quietly. "There will be times in this life where you can control the outcomes of events and there will be others that you will have absolutely no control over at all. In the event of the latter, you need to find the wisdom to accept that there are some things you just cannot change. The best thing you can do is remain calm, breathe, and try your hardest to find a way to help Heva now instead of reeling over what could have been. This is new for you, I know that. But you need to keep your head about you, for Heva's sake. " Data sighed and Picard released his wrists.
"I am sorry, Captain." Data whispered. "I am just-" "There isn't any need to apologize for this anymore." Picard said placing a hand on Data's shoulder. "You are relieved of duty until you believe you can control these new emotions. I had your session with Counselor Troi open as an option at first but now I order you to go and have it for your own good. It's good to let things out in abundance to your friends to feel relief sometimes." Data smiled and the captain returned his gaze. He nodded and exited leaving Picard to look after him. "Sometimes I wish I had your bravery." he said to his absent friend. "You may not know it now, but admitting that you are scared is one of the bravest things any man could do. And you, Data, are a man I envy among many."