GHI

G

G is for Ghostworld. Dick liked nicknames, enjoyed the naming process, enjoyed watching peoples' annoyance or enjoyment in their new monikers.

Dick had never actually watched Ghostworld, he had only seen the previews. But he recalled the dark haired character was cute. Too smart and too serious and into weird stuff, but cute. So he dubbed Mac Ghostworld back when she'd still been dating his brother, and he saw no reason to stop now.

Like the movie Mac was not a hit with the masses but she had a cult following. The people she counted as friends were few, but they were loyal. They could be counted on. Dick could appreciate that. When the chips were down you discovered who your true friends were, and Dick was happy that he had managed to become Mac's friend.

They were friends. But Dick kinda hoped they wouldn't stay friends. Maybe they could be more.

Another fun part of nicknames is that they showed familiarity and intimacy. Whenever Dick saw some guy talking to Mac, he'd sidle up to her, stand close, close enough that it was clear he was allowed into her bubble of personal space. Toss out a few inside jokes and a nickname and the dude in question was clear that if he was interested in Mac there would be competition.

H

H is for Help. Dick and Mac helped each other deal with the past. They didn't talk about Cassidy much, but when they did they had an understanding. It was easier for them to talk to each other about him than anyone else. To share with someone else who knew him, someone else who loved him.

Their first conversation about Cassidy barely involved any verbs.

"I…he…."

"Yeah."

"But he…"

"I know."

"Do you…"

"Yeah. I still miss him."

The next few conversations about him were still silted. They barely looked at each other. Words were tortured, barely escaping tight lips, choked throats. They could barely speak but somehow even the little they said packed a punch. It hurt, but it also cleared the way to move forward.

Dick hadn't talked to anyone about Beaver until he talked to Mac. He didn't need help to remember, but it was nice to share with someone. Mac had listened, and she understood. Together they cobbled together some sort of rational for Cassidy's actions, what had happened to him and what he had done in response.

When Dick ended up in rehab, he was able to talk to the counselors, able to begin to deal with what had happened, because he knew that he wasn't crazy. That his brother had been a person worthy of being loved, despite anything he did. Dick knew because he and Mac had discussed it. Rehab may have given Dick the tools to live his life, but Mac was the one who gave him a reason. A friend. A partner.

-VM—VM-

H is for Hide. After the first time Mac felt physical attraction for Dick she hid. She hid from him with the same determination he had followed her around after returning from the summer with his dad after their first year of college. She hid and she wasn't ashamed to admit it. Feeling that way, for Dick of all people, was not something Mac was prepared for.

The first time it happened, she hadn't recognized it. They had been walking across campus when some sorority girl and come up to them (to Dick). She was happy, and bubbly and appeared vapid, though Mac saw the hard glint in her eyes that said otherwise. She invited Dick to a party, made it sound like a private invitation to her bed, then rubbed her hand over his chest before flouncing away. Mac felt the discomfort, the surge of anger (annoyance she told herself). She had a vague suspicion that something was wrong, but didn't name it.

A week later they were hanging out again on campus. Veronica and Logan had just left, probably to make out somewhere private, since they were "not together." Right. If they were any more together they would be living with each other. But they were being cautious, and Mac could respect that, she didn't want to see either of them get hurt again. So she found herself alone with Dick. No biggie. They hung out all the time. But when that same sorority girl walked past with a shimmy and a wave, Mac had glanced at Dick to see his response. What she saw was Dick staring at her. The look in his eyes caused her mind to blank out for a second, then she recovered.

"I think someone is trying to get your attention," Mac said dryly as the girl tried to get his attention again.

"Who?" Dick looked over his shoulder then back to Mac. "Oh."

Their eyes met again.

"She's pretty."

"Yeah, I guess. I'm not interested in her though."

She teases him. "Dick Casablancas' not interested in a sorority girl?"

"Nah. You know I never understood why Logan said that girls like that were piranhas. What more could you want from a girl? Hot, easy, she doesn't want anything from you than some jewelry, booze and nice meals. What's not to like? But Logan's always thought Ronnie was worth a thousand of those girls." He stares back at her. "Maybe I understand it now."

Mac was surprised. She had realized awhile ago that Dick had more depth than she had ever given him credit for but to hear him talk now, he was thinking about an actual relationship. Mac felt the prick of jealousy. She looked up at him, opening her mouth to ask if there was a girl he was interested in, hoping her tone was appropriately light and teasing, but his gaze stole her breath.

She paused, seeing his serious gaze directed firmly at her, then smiled, shaking her head. No way did Dick mean her. Then his eyes dropped to her mouth when it opened again for her second attempt to ask him who the lucky girl was. And she knew. She knew what he was thinking and was stunned to realize that she was thinking the same thing.

Her heart raced, but her mind was blank. She had no response. Was not prepared to deal with this, with him, with feelings like this. She had just broken up with Max. Dick Casablancas was a risk she was not willing to take.

Fight or flight took over and she was babbling some excuse about a forgotten book in the library, racing off.

And for the next two weeks she avoided him for all she was worth. She was smart, and that translated into shrewdness. She knew how to avoid, she changed her routines, her schedule, she showed up for class early, hid in the administration offices until she could dart into her classroom. She walked different paths from the dorm to her classes, even if it meant walking farther. She'd catch glimpses of him out of the corner of her eye, knew he was looking for her. He'd left her messages, at least once a day.

Then after the second week of Mac's admittedly short term plan to avoid the awkwardness she was sure would be there between them, Dick stopped calling. She didn't notice for the first few days. Walking into the food court she saw Logan and Veronica locked in a deep conversation. A conversation that stopped the second she walked up.

There was some awkwardness, and for a second she thought maybe they were fighting or talking about sex, but the worry in Logan's eyes was mirrored in Veronica's.

"What's up guys?"

Veronica responded, her words casual but sending a warning glare at Logan. "Nothing."

Logan's eyebrows rise with derision. Clearly not nothing.

"OK, cool." Mac sits down and smiles at them happily. Happy to be the one causing them discomfort for once, usually the team of Logan and Veronica was enough to put you in your place solidly while maintaining a secondary private conversation between just them.

They are having another of their silent conversations now, but Logan looks away from Veronica and focuses on Mac. "Mac, I need-" He cuts off and jumps as Veronica's foot connects with his shin. Or maybe she did something else to him under the table, but clearly she wanted to stop whatever he was about to say.

Logan glares at Veronica and she looks away, obviously conflicted. Logan's words are accusing. "She's his friend too."

"And I'm not." It's not a question. She's vocalizing Logan's unspoken accusation.

Mac realizes that this is no ordinary disagreement. "Who's friend?" She puzzles it out. "Dick?"

Logan stands up, moving away from Veronica. "Yeah. He's on a bender."

Mac is shocked. "I thought he was doing better?"

"He was." Logan sighs. "It's Beaver's birthday next week."

Mac is remorseful. "I forgot. Dick and I haven't been talking."

"I know." Logan isn't accusing her, he knows this isn't Mac's fault, but she could have helped. Maybe.

"I don't know why you've been avoiding him." Mac looks down, suddenly her reasons seem petty and childish. "But it would mean a lot if you could come by."

Mac nods.

"I don't expect you to fix it Mac, but maybe you could talk to him. See where his head is."

I

I is for Insist. Insistent. Mac visited Dick at his suite, saw that he had been holed up there for days. Locked inside. Literally and figuratively. She insisted he take a shower and eat some food. Her insistent demands that he talk to her finally worked and he poured out his sadness and regret that Beaver would never grow up, never get the chance to deal with his pain, never, never, never.

Her presence didn't help much. Dick still drank. She knew he had to want to stop. Veronica and Logan talked about alcoholics and rock bottom. But Mac didn't have their experience with drunks, and she thought if she could just get through to him, he could bounce back.

I is for Intervention. Logan organized it. He managed to get their old high school friends to fly back for the weekend. He hired a guard to make sure Dick didn't leave the suite. Veronica briefed everyone on what they were supposed to do.

They told Dick that they cared about him. That they were concerned for him. That he needed to change. That he needed help. Dick laughed and joked. "What are my bags packed and ready? Can I request Lindsay Lohan as my roommate?"

They kept trying. Trying to get through to him. But Dick was too deep in his anger and sadness to let anyone in. He was smirking as he walked towards the door, intent on getting away from them. The guard barred his exit. "Dude you can't keep me here. This is false imprisonment or something."

Logan holds firm. "So sue me."

"Fuck you dude." Dick takes a drink then spits it up into the air, the whisky spraying all over the suite and himself. "Call room service, and get me a burger while you're at it." Feeling that he'd won, he walks back to his room and flops on the bed.

It is Veronica who goes after him. She shuts the door behind her, and whatever she says doesn't take long.

She doesn't mince her words. "Your brother raped me. He raped me and tried to kill my father. He could have killed me, and he did kill a lot of other people. Including Meg. My friend. Your friend."

She glares at him to keep from crying. She doesn't talk about this stuff. Never talks about it. "Woody did a horrible thing to him, and Beaver…"

"His name was Cassidy."

"Cassidy couldn't deal with it. But that was him. He made his choice. And now you have to make yours. The people out there love you and want you to live Dick. Logan loves you like a brother. I know that means something to you. So get off your ass, put down the bottle and figure it out." She turns to leave, but his words stop her at the door.

"Do you forgive him?"

"No." She looks over at him, sprawled pathetically on the bed, his hand flexing hard around the neck of his bottle. "No, but I will forgive you if you make a fucking effort. If you don't and you hurt Logan, make him lose another friend, I will never forgive you."

She brushes away her tears and Dick sits up. "Are you crying Mars?"

"Not over you, you fucking asshole."

A few seconds after she storms out, Dick comes back out to the living room. Everyone is still there.

Logan watches Veronica tensely as she walks back to his side, his hand rubbing over her shoulders comfortingly. Dick sees it too, sees the pain in Logan's eyes for his girlfriend, for what had happened to her.

What Cassidy had done to Veronica was no worse than what Woody had done to him. But Cassidy had been broken, and Veronica, well she just got stronger. Harder too, maybe more brittle. But she survived. Dick didn't know why one person reacted in one way, and another in a different way.

Beav had raped Veronica. And still she was here. Trying to help him. And Logan was still his friend. Logan hadn't given Dick up for Veronica.

Beaver had hurt Mac. And she was here. She was still living.

People did it, people survived. Maybe Dick could too.

"Your mom is flying in this afternoon." Logan's words are subdued. "She'll take you to rehab and get you set up. If you want to go."

"My mom?"

"Mac insisted." Logan smiles, and Dick's eyes go to Mac.