OPQRS

O

O is for Oxycodone. Oxy for short. Oxy was an opioid. A pain killer. And it along with its counterpart Oxycotin had become one of the most abused prescription drugs in America very quickly in the 2000s. When abusing alcohol stopped numbing Dick he moved on to oxy. Oxy numbed him so much that even the painful thoughts didn't really hurt. They just kind of floated past. Just like the rest of his life. Dick's love affair with alcohol was a longstanding one, and one that would prove hard to leave behind. Alcohol was such a part of his life by age 20 that Dick couldn't give it up. Luckily once he dealt with his demons he was able to stop the abuse, and return to just consuming alcohol recreationally. But his friends and family still flinched a little any time they saw him holding a beer or other alcohol. But he had to give up the oxy.

O is for Outgrow. Dick outgrew the childishness of his youth. He outgrew his need to blame others for his unhappiness. He grew.

Dick did not outgrow his outlandishness. He enjoyed that part of his personality. Dick didn't want to be normal. Normal was boring. Normal meant doing what others wanted you to do, not doing what you wanted to do.

O is for Obsequious. Dick was used to Obsequious behavior. Used to being paid attention to in an ingratiating or servile manner. Like the whole world was his servant. He had grown up rich. He expected to be catered to. Flattered. Fawned over. But Obsequious could also mean promptly obedient, or submissive, to the will of another; compliant; yielding to the desires of another; devoted.

Dick didn't see it but while he was expecting the whole world to kiss his ass, he returned the Obsequious behavior to the people he deemed worthy, the ones he cared about. Case and point: Logan. Then later Mac.

O is for Overwhelm. Outflank. Outfox. Dick overwhelmed Mac's rebuttals to his friendship. He outflanked her defenses. He outfoxed her ingrained suspicion of him.

P

P is for Propagate. Pregnant. Parenthood. People often say that they are trying to get pregnant. Or the more passive form of not trying to not get pregnant. Dick and Mac didn't do either. They hadn't even talked about kids. But there she was pregnant. They had been married for 3 years when their daughter had come along as a surprise. Mac hadn't been too surprised. She had been on the pill. But when she got sick she had been on antibiotics.

Antibiotics cancelled out the effectiveness of the pill. Mac knew that. She warned Dick. He hadn't listened. So there they were. Pregnant. Mac felt a fission of panic, but seeing the look on Dick's face (complete abject terror) she had laughed.

"It's OK." She reassures him.

"How can this be OK? We're not ready."

The doctor smiles, used to seeing young couples freak out after getting the news that they were expecting. "Ready or not, this baby is coming. I put your due date as April 14."

"April! That's so soon." Dick paces back and forth in the small space available in the doctor's office.

"I have a feeling it won't be soon enough for me. I already have to pee every five minutes."

Their second child was a surprise to both of them. They had been married 8 years. Veronica had just popped out her and Logan's third kid and she had sent him off to the doctor to make sure it was their last. Dick had covered his groin in horror, then proceeded to mock Logan endlessly.

Mac didn't know what happened. She took the pill each day. She hadn't been sick. When she felt the telltale morning queasiness she thought it was a stomach bug. When she was inordinately tired for two weeks, she thought she needed a vacation. But when she noticed her breasts increasing in size, which was helpfully pointed out by her husband, she had realized the truth. A quick trip to the drug store and after waiting a tense three minutes, Mac was staring at a tiny positive symbol.

Parenthood had come easier to Dick than he had thought. Loving their child wasn't a question, it was a given. That she was a girl, made his protective instincts go crazy. So Dick was happy to learn that their second child would be a boy.

Q

Q is for Quiet. Mac was quiet. Dick was not. She enjoyed being alone. He needed people around. Theirs was an attraction of opposites. And as it happens, opposites who attract and stick together long enough take on some of their counterpart's characteristics.

Mac was quiet. Dick was not. But Dick enjoyed spending quiet time with Mac. He sat on the couch watching her read or staring out the window when she said he was creeping her out. He just enjoyed listening to her quiet breathing, feeling her warmth against him. And when she was pregnant with his child, feeling the faint stirrings of life in her belly.

Dick had thought quiet was boring. But maybe you can't be quiet until you are content with yourself.

R

R is for Rehab. Rehab was a turning point for Dick. He didn't talk in the psycho babble jargon of an alcoholic in AA, or a celebrity doing their triumphant media tour after yet another stint in rehab, but Rehab had been important. Rehab had allowed him to reevaluate his life, see that he was only hurting himself. And see that he had reasons to recover.

R is for Reason. Mac didn't want to be Dick's reason to get straight. She didn't want that responsibility. She had seen Logan put Veronica on a pedestal of perfection and then kill himself over and over trying to climb up it to get to her. But Veronica wasn't perfect. And everyone, including Logan knew it.

Veronica shared Mac's fears about being Logan's reason to do better. To be better. To be. That kind of responsibility, even to someone you loved, was overwhelming. It was too much. Especially when you were struggling with your own issues at the same time.

They had to be equals before they could make it work. And because of their past, that was difficult. Mac saw their struggle. Saw them hurt each other and themselves trying to fight their way through to a new place. A place where they could be together, together without all the pain. Watching them, Mac learned that you had to let go of the past to get to the future. At least to any future worth having.

Veronica was one of the least forgiving people Mac had ever met, but Mac learned about forgiveness from Veronica.

Mac wanted to ask Dick why he wanted her, why he loved her. Because he did. She knew he did. She didn't know if it would last, not in those early months. Another thing Veronica and Mac shared was a deep seated cynicism about relationships. Most relationships failed, and not in the 60% range. Closer to 100%. Relationships failed, people were hurt, it was the way it was.

But some people transcend friendship or romantic relationships. They become family. So even if the relationship failed, something would remain.

Mac wanted to ask why Dick loved her, but she couldn't. Not because she was afraid of his answer, but because she didn't have a good answer to that question herself. She loved Dick. And she probably had a million reasons why. But none of the reasons on their own added up to anything substantial. But all of them together, that added up to love.

S

S is for Synergy. The combined effort being greater than the parts. The working together of two or more people, organizations, or things, especially when the result is greater than the sum of their individual effects or capabilities.

Synergy is often simply defined as when something is greater than the sum of its parts. But Mac though synergy was about balance. If you had too much of component A and not enough B, then the balance was off. Balance was needed to achieve something greater. Look at Veronica and Logan for example. Veronica was mostly logic. Cold, hard logic. Except when it came to Logan. Logan was emotion, pure, rolling unchecked emotion. Logic barely came into it.

But together, after years of work, they managed to change. Veronica became more comfortable with the emotion Logan brought out of her. Maybe more to do with the logical conclusion that if she wasn't over it yet, she likely would never be, and the honest admission that she didn't want to be over it. Ever. Logan learned to think about his actions, or more specifically the consequences of his actions. He brought some logic and order into his life and he and Veronica slid together like a perfect yin-yang.

Mac thought that she and Dick were like that too. She was too much in her own self. Dick was too much outside himself. He brought out her social side by making everything fun. She allowed him the space to be introspective.

Dick was chaos. Mac was order. Dick was noise and motion. Mac was quiet and still. Just like their friends, their jagged edges fit together. Their edges blurred. He learned to keep some thoughts private. She learned to talk more.

Their synergy was greater than the individual parts.